by Sara Hess
“That’s from a song and not actually true, right?” I teased.
She shook her head and smiled. “That’s ‘killing me softly’ doofus.”
“Oh right, now I remember.” I nodded with an inane grin of my own while kissing down her neck. “If you weren’t incapacitated I’d tie you to my bed and show you how hard I love you.”
Shaw hunched her shoulder and giggled. My chest exploded with joy at the sound. I wanted to hear her laugh everyday…every hour…all the time.
“Have you really loved me since the wedding?” I nestled her back against my side.
She sighed. “I was definitely feeling something painful for you or I wouldn’t have gone to bed with you, and it’s only gotten worse.”
I frowned. “Loves not supposed to be painful, Shaw.” Although, the last few days had been down right agonizing.
“It is when you’re fighting it, or when you don’t expect to receive it in return.” Her fingers played with mine.
I forced my hand to stay lax as those words nailed me in the chest. “You didn’t expect to receive it from me, or you never expected to receive it at all?”
“Both. You had a pattern and I wasn’t anything special for you to alter it.” She shrugged like it was obvious.
I closed my eyes and breathed deep. “Red, you’re the most amazingly special person I have ever met.”
She huffed out a soft snort telling me she was going to need more convincing, and I truly believed I was predestined to do that. “Evan, when you go your entire life with no one loving you, you start to believe love just isn’t in the cards for you. I’d buried my heart so far down in the dark recesses of my chest because I felt safer in the darkness of my loneliness.”
I prayed that everyone who caused this woman any pain received it back a hundred fold. Hooking her fingers I brought them to my mouth, kissing the tip of each one. “The first twenty years of your life must have been preparing you for all the love I’m going to overwhelm you with. I won’t stop digging until your heart can bask freely in the sunlight.”
A shuddery breath shook her chest. Curling her hand around mine her face tilted down, pressing against my bicep like she was trying to hide. “What did falling in love with me feel like?” She murmured huskily.
I blew out a breath. “Confusing…extremely confusing. I was experiencing all these new emotions that I couldn’t catalogue, but they were amazing so instead of labeling them I just enjoyed them. When you were gone those feelings were suddenly neon signs. I really never thought I would experience something this intense; I actually thought it was beyond me. Just shows you how stupid I am.”
“Yeah, I’ve always been amazed that you were able to walk and talk at the same time.” She ragged with pink joy-filled cheeks.
I chuckled. “Smart-ass.”
“My whole bodies smart; smart-ass, smart-fingers…” She wiggled her fingers. “Smart-piggy’s.” She lifted a leg. “You can’t see them but I’m wiggling my toes. The only thing that wasn’t smart was my appendix, and that’s why it had to go.” She hitched her thumb in an ‘out of here’ sign.
I had been grinning until she mentioned her appendix. She had come so close to dying. I kissed the side of her head. “Your pants are pretty smart too.”
Laughing softly she squeezed my arm. A ‘meow’ came from the floor by our feet and the next second Shaw’s cat jumped in her lap.
“Rosie!” Shaw exclaimed happily. She scooped the cat in her arms and nuzzled their noses together. The prickly feline appeared to actually hug her; lifting its paws to her neck. “When did you bring her over here?”
“Last night, and she wasn’t pleased about it. She whined the entire ride over and when we got inside she hissed at everyone and then went into hiding…I don’t know where. There was shit in the litter box this morning so at least we won’t be finding a surprise waiting for us down the road.”
Shaw smiled, hugging the cat. “She’s a smart kitty, she wouldn’t go potty anywhere she’s not supposed to.” Her eyes were locked on her cat so I wasn’t sure if she was talking to me or the cat.
“Are you hungry or would you like to take a shower first?” Shaw had been grumbling for a shower since she’d woken up yesterday, but all they’d allowed her was a sponge bath…that I unfortunately hadn’t been able to watch.
“A shower, please, please, and please.” She exclaimed straightening, her eyes lighting in anticipation. With a kiss to her cat’s nose she set it down.
Standing, I picked her back up in my arms. “Thank god. I wasn’t sure how much more of your smell I could take.” She gave me a glare that was so melt scorching hot it had my cock throbbing. “Remember, you only make me want to jump you when you look at me that way.” I growled as I took the stairs up to my bedroom.
She shook her head trying to suppress a grin. “Thank god I smell then.”
Unexpected heart-clenching pain shot through me as thoughts of what could have happened to her slammed into me. I’d been having them randomly for two days and every time they stole the breath from me.
Shaw must have noticed it on my face. “Is everything okay?” She asked with a frown.
Shaking it off I grunted and played like I was having difficulty carrying her. “No, did you gain weight or something, jeez Red.” I huffed, letting my arms tremble.
Her arms tightened reflexively as she gasped in offense, narrowing her lids over sparkling eyes. “It’s not me, ass-sniffer. I just lost five pounds of appendix. It’s your skinny, noodle arms. Girls see them and shake their heads in pity before sniggering behind their hands.”
I busted out a laugh as I pushed open my bedroom door. Thank you God, for saving my girl. “Don’t lie; you’d take on a horde of Orc’s for me.”
She was trying really hard to hold back her grin. “I don’t know about a horde, but maybe one or two. Holy Harry, your room got worse.” Shaw eyed my bedroom as I headed toward the bathroom. The house had five large bedrooms on the second floor, all with there own connecting bathroom.
“Hey, I’ve been spending most of my time at my girlfriend’s house when I’m not working. I haven’t had much time to clean.” There were only a few dirty clothes scattered on the floor and a thin layer of dust, but to Shaw who was a clean freak, it probably seemed like Armageddon. The girl was almost OCD with how she cleaned and organized her space.
Her grin popped out. “When you’re not looking I’m so color-coding your closet.”
“I’ll suffer through it if it will make you happy.” I set her down gently on the closed toilet seat and turned to start the shower. Then I began disrobing.
Shaw watched me with hooded eyes and heated cheeks. “Are you taking off your clothes because you need a shower too, or because you think I need a crutch?”
I smirked. “I just want to make sure we wash that god-awful smell clinging to you.” We’d taken a few showers together so I knew she wouldn’t have problem with it.
Her lips parted as the last of my clothes fell away. Her gaze roamed over me pausing on my partial erection. It didn’t remain in that state at her stare; it thickened and grew, heavy and painful.
“Come on, Red; your turn.” I waved my hand at her eagerly. Even though we couldn’t have sex I could still enjoy her body. The need to see her was almost imperative because of nearly losing her.
She stood and I helped her with her shirt and sweat pants. Then I took a deep breath at the sight of her. She was so damn beautiful. Even with the two inch by two inch bandage covering the small incision they made in her lower abdomen. It didn’t distract from how perfect she was; it only showed how resilient she was.
I knew every time my eyes lit on that scar I was going to thank God for saving her.
I assisted her into the shower and began washing her with the soaps I’d packed from her apartment; starting with her shoulders and working my way down leisurely, getting every inch of her. I really couldn’t help myself.
Shaw watched me silently, her green eyes darke
ning and her breathing escalating in rising desire. She rolled her eyes with a blush and tolerated it when I insisted on shaving her underarms and legs, but she said ‘hell no’ when I went for her mound.
“Why not?” I pouted.
Her face red with both arousal and chagrin, she muttered, “That’s just a little too much, and how would you feel about me getting near your nuts and berries with something sharp. I’m already dealing with one incision, I don’t need another.” Unable to argue with that I handed over the razor. “And don’t watch me, either.”
“Red, you’re spoiling my fun.” I bellyached.
“It’s too embarrassing.” She griped.
“I’m not embarrassed at all.” I smirked. “Any way you touch your pussy becomes the highlight of my day. In fact, if you’re taking suggestions; a red shaped heart down there would look divine.”
She bit her lip going crimson. “When you’re ready to sport matching ones I’ll think about it.” With that zing she turned her back to me.
With a happy grin I squeezed some shampoo into my hand and began washing her hair as she worked on her lower half. My steel-hard erection slid along her soapy back and I tried stifling my groan at how excruciatingly sensitive it was.
Shaw turned to face me wearing a contented smile. As I continued massaging the soap in her hair she closed her eyes with a hum of delight. Five seconds later I gave my own groan of pleasure when her hands wrapped around my dick and began slowly stroking me.
“Shaw, you don’t have to do that.” I grunted. Auhh, but it was so damn good. “This shower is for you, and I don’t want you over-exerting yourself.”
She peered up at me, her green eyes sparkling, but her hand didn’t stop its unhurried caress. “Believe me, I’m not going fall over from exertion from this. I can’t speak for you though.”
Powerless to stop her I continued to clean her hair as she stroked my cock; tip to root, circling and squeezing. My eyes rolled as she fondled my tightening balls and her lips slid over my collarbone and chest. It wasn’t long before the white-hot buzz danced down my vertebrae warning me of my imminent release. Fisting her hair I tilted her head and ate at her lips hungrily with a groan as my cock exploded in pulses of intense spine-numbing ecstasy.
When the surges died I gave an exhale of satiation and my feverish kisses turned to tender nips. “You are awesome. I wish I could do it for you.” Really, really wished.
She breathed heavily against my mouth. “I wish you could too, but that crumb of stimulation had my stomach clenching in soreness.”
I pulled back with a frown. “Dammit Shaw. You’re supposed to be resting those muscles.” I moved her forward carefully under the spray of water to rinse the shampoo from her hair. She needed to be off her feet and resting.
Eyes closed, she smiled. “I said sore, not pain. Just because I can’t do anything doesn’t mean I can’t do stuff to you.”
“If you can’t have pleasure than I’m not going have any either. It’s only fair.” I wasn’t going to allow her to get me off while she healed from almost dying…another knife of uncontainable panic sliced into my chest.
“How am I supposed to pass my time though?” Squinting one eye open she raised her brow with a sinful grin.
Damn, she was miracle. “Board games and cards.” I deadpanned. Her mouth quivered in humor. Squirting conditioner in my palm I began working it through her red curls. “I also brought your computer and PS4 from your apartment.”
Surprise and something deeper darkened her eyes. “You were busy last night.” She closed her eyes as I tilted her head back under the water, her hands clutching my still recovering hips. “How long are you expecting me to hide out here?”
That was a question I didn’t have an immediate answer for…but forever tickled my brain.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
SHAW
I jolted awake with a short scream, breathing heavily, my heart thudding a mile a minute, and my stomach twinging.
I jerked, crying out again when arms circled me.
“It’s Evan, Shaw. You’re safe here with me. You were just having another nightmare.” Evan pulled me unresistingly into his arms. Spooning my back his hand bushed off my hair as he kissed my shoulder.
“I’m sorry.” I gasped automatically.
It was my fourth night in a row waking up to nightmares. The first had been my last night in the hospital. I hadn’t told Evan about it thinking it was a random dream, but they hadn’t discontinued.
“You have nothing to be sorry for, Red. I only wish I could take them from you.” His hand rubbed my shoulder. “Do you remember what it was about?”
“Only snippets; that asshole laughing, Libby being dragged away crying by a faceless fat man, you getting shot, and I was lying in that box helplessly while you bled to death.” A shuddering sob escaped me at that memory. All the dreams were a little different, but this had been the worst.
Evan’s lips nuzzled into my neck, hugging me tight. “Elizabeth is fine, I’m fine, and you’re with me where you’re supposed to be.” His voice murmured soothingly in my ear.
I nodded my head unconsciously, tears slipping down my face. “I feel bad…because Elizabeth dealt with so much more…and she’s having nightmares too…but she has to go through them by herself. She doesn’t have anyone to hold her.”
He was silent for a moment. “You kill me, Red, and astound me more everyday. You know what, Elizabeth might not have someone holding her but I bet you’ve been talking and listening to her, haven’t you?” I nodded. “Then she’s not alone. She has you. You might not be holding her, but you are someone she can share with.”
I wiped at my tears feeling pitiful. “I should head back to my apartment. All I’m doing is keeping you from sleeping, and causing everyone here problems. The only reason you brought me here was to keep the reporters off my back, but they know where I am now.”
When we woke up this morning dozens of them had been camped outside in front of the house. I didn’t have to deal with them because I was still recuperating while keeping up with my course work online, but everyone else had to wade through them.
“Shaw, I didn’t just bring you here to keep the reporters away from you. I need you here because you aren’t the only one having nightmares. Whenever I close my eyes images of you in that cage, dying, invade my sleep. I need you here when I wake up knowing that you’re safe. If you weren’t here I’d be lying awake worrying about you. We need each other to hold when the nightmares come.” His arms tightened.
My throat nearly closed up. Was he really having nightmares? For the last three days Evan had barely left my side. He was going to classes but Dan had given him time off work to spend with me. He told me Landon was filling in for him.
When Evan told me he loved me I’d had a difficult time accepting it fully. I wanted to believe it, soak in it, but it wasn’t that easy. Too much disillusionment had put a shell around my heart that made trusting in his love not that simple. But for the last three days as he pampered me, showered me with affection, repeated his words of love, the shell around my heart softened.
“Leaving would make it easier for everyone else though.” I repeated feebly.
“Everyone loves that you’re here.” Evan dissented. “Didn’t we have the most awesome water fight today?”
The corner of my mouth lifted in remembrance. Nic, Blake, David, and Evan had disappeared for about an hour around four o’clock this afternoon while I sat in the kitchen putting a dinner together with Carrie and Samantha. We thought the guys had been working out, but when they returned they’d been carrying three large buckets of water balloons and five full Super Soakers. All of us then proceeded to bombard the throng of reporters from the safety of our windows. They’d even had a water balloon sling shot to get the ones they couldn’t reach with their arms. I’d had to settle for one of the guns since I couldn’t throw very well with my healing stomach.
The reporters had scrambled inside their vans for cove
r, but not before we’d gotten quite a few of them wet. They hadn’t left, and a couple of news stations had even reported on it telling the public we were letting off some steam instead of ambushing them in frustration, but it hadn’t mattered. It had still been a nice tension reliever.
When I’d spoken with Libby later she’d asked about it, and then laughed and wished she could have been there with us. I told her to come by anytime and we’d do it again, but she’d only sighed and said because of the bodyguards her parents had hired it was impossible to sneak out of her house at the moment.
Hearing that had only increased my sorrow for what she was going through, but made me appreciate what I had. She had a family that didn’t appear to be helping her when she really needed it, and here I was with no family but a whole host of people…friends…stepping forward trying to make me feel better.
I took hold of Evan’s fingers that were stroking softly over my arm. “I never thanked you for coming for me…for saving me.” I pressed the back of his hand to my lips, holding it there.
Using that hand he nudged my head around to face him. The only light in the dark room was from Evan’s alarm clock casting a faint glow, barely highlighting his face. However, I could feel his intense gaze burning into me.
“Shaw, don’t ever think you have to thank me for coming for you, for saving you. I would have lost part of my soul if anything had happened to you.”
God, my heart felt ready to explode.
His warm, firm lips lowered, caressing mine tenderly but deeply. After a few moments he pulled away with a groan, setting his forehead to mine. His erection was poking me in my butt and I understood where the groan was coming from.
“Are you thirsty, do you need anything right now?” He asked me throatily.
I swallowed the lump of emotion clogging my throat at his unwavering concern for me. “No, I’m good. Well actually…I have this ache a little down south that needs attending. Do you have any suggestions on what I could do for that?”
My ache had settled at a low simmer since feeling him pressing into me a couple minutes ago, but it flared to a blistering one in the past seconds. I’d been dying for him for days.
