by Inara Scott
Esther waved aside my protest. “By Thanksgiving you’ll be best friends with everyone at this school. It’s just a matter of time.”
On that chilling note, I changed the subject to our classes. The only ones we had together were World Civ and chemistry. All of the freshmen had to take an ethics class, but Esther and Hennie were in the other section. My ethics class was taught by this goofy little guy named Mr. Fritz. He had a puff of long white hair on top of his head, and really big ears, which made him resemble something between Albert Einstein and a troll doll. We all had math, but different levels—I was in algebra, the ninth grade course at my high school. Esther and Hennie were already starting calculus.
In the afternoons I had a two-hour block of classes that my adviser, Mrs. Dade, said would change throughout the year. I was starting with a self-defense class and a public speaking workshop. Mrs. Dade didn’t tell me why they’d put me in these classes, just said every student had concentrated “focus time” after lunch.
The only problem was, unlike everyone else at Delcroix, I had no focus. Esther was really into theater; for her focus periods she had an acting class and a famous playwrights class, where they were studying Shakespeare and some Greek guys I’d never heard of. Hennie was taking all sorts of different languages—Hindi-Urdu, Chinese, and French literature instead of English.
“You’re taking Spanish too? What are you, some kind of genius with languages?” I asked.
Hennie lowered her eyes. “I speak five now, but my dad speaks ten. I want to know at least that many someday so I can work for the UN. My dad knows two ambassadors who went to Delcroix, and they said it was an amazing place for languages.”
It wasn’t hard to see what her “focus” was.
“Someday I’d like to learn Spanish,” I said wistfully. They used to have real Spanish classes at our middle school, but they’d cut them when I was still in elementary school. Something about budget problems. By the time I started there, they just had this video they played once a week. It was ridiculous. I knew my colors and how to count to ten. That was about it.
“I can teach you,” Hennie said.
“Really?”
“It’s easy. You just have to practice speaking with someone. We’ll do it at night. Just a few minutes a day.” Hennie gave me one of her gentle smiles, and I had to turn away because I thought for a second I might cry.
The bell sounded, and we started up the steps onto the Silver Bullet. I passed Catherine, who glared at me through narrowed eyes. Then I walked by Jack. He had on his headphones, and his eyes were closed. I wasn’t surprised. Jack tuned out whenever he got in a crowd. He hated crowds. He wasn’t much of a people person in general—he hadn’t made many friends since we’d started school—but he really hated crowds.
I thought about how certain I’d been, just five days ago, that he was trouble and to be avoided at all costs, and then how I’d just told Hennie that we’d been hanging out all week.
I slipped past him and headed for the back of the bus. Hennie and Esther had saved me room beside them. Esther patted the edge of the seat and grinned. I stole a look back toward Jack, and then Catherine, before I fell into the seat. There wasn’t quite room for three, so I balanced on the edge with my feet in the aisle.
“You’ll have to give me your phone number,” Esther said. “So we can talk this weekend.”
Hennie pulled her backpack onto her lap. “Give me your number. We can have a three-way call.”
The bus started abruptly just as Hennie was pulling on the zipper, and her fingers slipped. She knocked herself in the nose, and Esther giggled. Hennie glared at Esther and then laughed when, a second later, the bus jerked again and I fell into the aisle. The bus driver hollered at me to get back in my seat, and I did, practically hoisting myself onto Esther’s lap.
It was then, laughing as the bus pulled away from the Main Hall, with the green lawns of Delcroix stretched out on either side of us, and all the other freshman shouting and calling to each other, that something inside of me unwound.
I had friends. Esther and Hennie were my friends. Jack, troublemaker or not, was my friend. And, as hard as it was to believe, even Cam was becoming a friend. No one knew better than me how dangerous this state of affairs could be, but it seemed silly to keep fighting the inevitable. I’d have to make myself into a jerk or a pariah to keep it from happening, and I just didn’t have it in me to do either of those things.
Life was changing. I wasn’t sure where it was taking me, but I had a feeling things would never be the same.
THE UPPERCLASSMEN started school on Monday, and the Res and the Main Hall felt more like a regular school as they filled with students and teachers. I started eating meals with Esther and Hennie. Jack said he didn’t like the cafeteria because Trevor was always hanging around staring at him, and I had to admit, it did seem that way. Even after he didn’t have to eat with our team anymore, Trevor still made time to look for each of us at every meal.
I tried to tell Jack that Trevor was just being nice, making sure none of us got lost in the crowd, but Jack had it in his head that Trevor didn’t like him. So after checking in, Jack would scarf down some food and head for the library, or go outside somewhere on the playing fields to eat. We still hung out between classes and during free time, and we started studying together too, because we had all the same assignments. It turned out Jack was really smart, and when he bothered to finish his homework, he got good marks.
Of course, he usually didn’t bother.
On Thursday they had tryouts for cross-country. Actually, tryouts isn’t really the right word. They let everyone join the team who would agree to attend practices. The school was so small it wasn’t like the turnout was overwhelming.
Esther and Hennie decided they would join the team with me. Esther’s mom thought it would be good for her to do some sports, and Esther thought she’d be able to chat more while she was running than while playing volleyball or swimming. I thought this was rather naive on her part, or maybe she just didn’t pant as much as I did when I ran. Hennie said she needed to do a sport that didn’t require too much coordination, which was wise. I had never seen someone trip quite so often, with so little reason, as Hennie.
I nervously adjusted my shorts as we walked up to the practice fields where the coach had told us to gather. It had poured the night before, so the field was soft and damp, but the sun had been out for a few hours, and tiny tendrils of steam were actually rising from the ground. Soccer season wasn’t until the spring, but a bunch of guys were playing a pickup game. The fields were tucked into the far corner of the grassy area that surrounded the school, bordered on one side by tall evergreens. The sun hovered right above the trees, bright and hot.
I bent over and retied my shoelaces. Although I liked to run on my own, I’d never tried it with a team, and I had a horrible feeling I wasn’t going to be able to keep up.
“So, is this the new Delcroix cross-country team?”
I froze. Cam had walked up directly behind Hennie. She turned around, eyes wide, and then backed up so he could stand next to me. I struggled to remain calm, with him only a few feet away.
How did he get better looking every day? He was wearing black-and-white-striped soccer shoes and shin guards, and with the sun beating down on him, I swear he looked like a superhero—even taller and stronger than I remembered. The light caught red and gold highlights in his hair, and sparkled on the gold Delcroix crest on his T-shirt.
Esther responded first, naturally, flipping her hair back with a grin. “I don’t know about that. Someone might need to call 911 if I have a heart attack halfway through the run.”
Cam smiled, and the corners of his eyes crinkled in the most adorable way. “You shouldn’t worry. I bet Dancia can give you some pointers.”
I swallowed hard. Did Cam really remember that I liked to run? “Um, I guess.”
Brilliant. Sparkling conversation.
Hennie and Esther looked at Cam, then at me, the
n back at Cam.
“How far do you think they’ll make us run today?” Hennie asked, her voice barely above a whisper. She twisted her hands as she spoke.
Esther hadn’t been kidding when she said Hennie was shy around boys. Just yesterday I’d tried to get her and Yashir to talk when we were studying in the commons together, and she’d actually snapped her pencil in half, she was so freaked out.
“Maybe a couple of miles,” Cam said. “They start the freshmen out pretty easy. You can jog at first, to get used to it. I don’t think they do speed work for a week or two.”
Esther looked horrified. “A couple of miles? As in, actual miles?”
I had to laugh. “What did you expect when they said the average course length was five kilometers, Esther? That you’d be running inches?”
Esther threw a hand across her forehead. “That’s it. I’m definitely going to die out there. You might as well call my mom now. Or maybe call a helicopter. Does Delcroix have a helicopter? I’m going to need immediate transportation to a hospital. You should put them on standby.”
“I’m sure Dancia will get you out. Just make sure you don’t get stuck on the wrong side of the wall, Dancia. I’m not sure Esther would make it over in her weakened condition.” Cam gave me a knowing look, like we were sharing a private joke, and I nearly choked.
Cam must have talked to Trevor about me. Or at least about our team. That’s the only way he would have known that we did the wall.
“What wall?” Esther asked. “You mean the wall Dancia’s team climbed during orientation? I heard about that. It sounded awful. Why does the school have all those things out there in the woods anyway? Poor Hennie’s team had to jump off a platform from thirty feet in the air.” Esther’s nose wrinkled with distaste. “Tell the truth: is it all just an elaborate system for punishing incoming freshmen?”
“It’s mostly for that,” Cam said, deadpan. “We tried other ways of punishing the freshmen, but the police kept showing up.”
We all laughed appreciatively, even Hennie, who was apparently still trying to recover from actually speaking to Cam.
“No, seriously, it’s called a challenge course, and everyone in the school uses it, even after orientation,” Cam said. “We see it as a way to develop and test leadership skills. You don’t get much of an opportunity to meet challenges like that wall in everyday life, and we believe it’s good for you to learn how you’ll react when pushed. Will you rise to meet the challenge? Will you give up? Will you cheat?”
Even though he smiled as he spoke, I got the feeling he was saying something very important. I swallowed hard at the wave of guilt that followed, as memories of the wall, and the nudge I’d felt from Jack, replayed in my mind. I hadn’t wanted to cheat, but had I? Had an invisible hand helped me climb the wall?
“Good afternoon, Cameron, ladies.”
The voice sounded familiar. I turned around to see Mr. Judan walking in our direction, his white teeth gleaming and thick hair swooping back from his forehead in elegant waves. Once again I was struck by the feeling that he was way, way too attractive and well dressed to be working at a high school. Even out here, in the middle of a field, surrounded by kids in shorts and T-shirts, he looked ready to go have dinner with the president, with his fancy suit, red silk tie, and expensive-looking leather loafers.
He smiled at each of us, but instead of making me relax, his anchorman voice made me dig my nails into my palm. “I know Dancia, and I recognize Esther. You must be Henrietta. How lovely to see you all.”
We smiled politely. No one looked particularly comfortable, even Cam. Silence fell over the group.
“How is everyone enjoying school thus far?” His white teeth sparkled through a broad smile. He didn’t seem to notice that he’d managed to make us all profoundly uncomfortable.
Even Esther struggled to respond, her mouth flopping open and closed several times. Surprisingly, it was Hennie who spoke up for the group.
“It’s been wonderful, sir, but we were just discussing the challenge course. I had no idea Delcroix utilized stress-induced leadership scenarios. Why is that?”
Delivered in Hennie’s sweet, breathy tone, you could almost miss the underlying bite in her question.
Mr. Judan raised one black brow. “What do you mean, my dear?”
Oh my. From his direct tone, I gathered he hadn’t missed the bite.
“Cam explained that the school directs us toward challenges in order to see how we react in times of stress. I find this fascinating, and couldn’t help but wonder—is there some sort of test involved here? And if so, what happens if we fail?”
Yeesh. I hadn’t thought about it that way. I looked at Hennie with newfound respect. Listening to her quietly confident voice, I had a sudden vision of Hennie sitting across the table from her brilliant father, debating foreign policy in one of the five languages she spoke.
Note to self: don’t mess with Hennie.
Mr. Judan shot Cam a look I couldn’t read. Was he pissed? Was the whole challenge thing supposed to be a secret? Cam’s tanned skin developed an underlying hint of pink.
“No, no.” Mr. Judan chuckled, and an easy smile spread across his face. “No test at all. I think Cameron may have misstated the purpose of our challenges. You see, research tells us the best teams come out of shared experiences. We want you to have a highly supportive and successful freshman team, so it makes sense to give you opportunities to take part in one of those experiences.”
He locked eyes for a moment with Cam, who seemed to get some silent message, because he nodded a second later.
“Now, I really must be going. It was a pleasure to meet you all. Please, join me in my office when you are finished with your game, Cameron. I have something I need to discuss with you.” He waved to the cross-country coach, Mr. Yerkinly, who was walking up from the Main Hall.
An uncomfortable silence followed. Then one of the soccer players waved to Cam. He glanced down at his watch. “Looks like it’s time for our game. I’d better go.” He paused. “Dancia, do you have a second?”
My heart stopped. “Um, what?”
“I just wanted to catch you alone for a second.”
I shot Esther a quick, semi-hysterical glance. “Sure.”
We walked a few paces away, to the edge of the field. My heart was beating so fast I thought I might faint. When we were out of earshot from Esther and Hennie, Cam gave me one of his slow smiles. “Listen, I just wanted to say that I know Trevor encouraged you to spend a lot of time with your team, especially during the first week, but I don’t want you to think that you have to keep hanging out with them now that orientation is over.”
I blinked and tried to focus on what he had just said. My heart slowed abruptly. Apparently he hadn’t pulled me aside to ask me to be his one true love.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I just mean, there may be people on your team that aren’t as good for you as other people. That’s all. Esther and…what’s her name? Hennie? Esther and Hennie seem like nice girls, Dancia. I can see that you three are already great friends.”
Still unsure of what mysterious code Cam was using, I cocked my head and stared at him. “Yeah, Esther and Hennie are super,” I said uneasily. “We have a lot of fun together.”
Cam looked pleased. “I thought so. I just wanted to make sure you knew that was okay. To hang out with them, I mean, instead of people from your team all the time. And you should come find me at lunch sometime. I’d like to introduce you to some of my friends too.”
If he was trying to confuse me, he had absolutely succeeded. First he was talking about my team, then Esther and Hennie, and now he wanted me to meet his friends? Why me? Why not Esther, who could actually talk to him and make him laugh; or Hennie, who was like a picture from a magazine? As baffled as I was, I still felt a rush of pleasure.
“Okay,” I said. “That would be great.”
He walked me back over to Hennie and Esther, and gave each of us one of
his blinding smiles, starting with me. “Remember, whatever you need, Dancia, or any of you, let me know. I’d love to help.”
The second he was out of earshot, Esther hit me with her notebook.
“ ‘Whatever you need, I’d love to help’?” she repeated. “What’s going on with you and Cam?! Are you, like, going out or something?”
“What do you mean?” I asked, my voice cracking. I swallowed and tried to regain my composure. “I told you, he was my recruiter. They probably have a rule that they have to be extra nice to the people they recruit. Besides, he said ‘any of you.’ He wasn’t just talking to me.”
Esther snorted. “I don’t think so.” She and Hennie exchanged meaningful looks. “He didn’t even notice us. He only had eyes for you. What did he say over there, anyway?”
I threw my head back and closed my eyes, retying my hair into a massive ponytail. “I have no idea. Something about how he thinks I should be friends with you, and that I shouldn’t worry about spending all my time with my team. I couldn’t follow him.”
“You mean, he doesn’t want you to spend all your time with Jack,” Hennie said knowingly.
My mouth dropped open. I hadn’t even thought about it, but the only person on my team I had become friends with was Jack. Was he trying to say something to me about Jack?
Esther giggled. “Oh, Hennie, that’s brilliant! He’s jealous! He’s been watching Dancia hanging around with Jack these last two weeks, and he’s horribly jealous!”
“You’re crazy, Esther,” I said, not wanting to think about the possibility, even though somewhere in my brain it was as if a rainbow had broken across the sky. “And you too, Hennie. He only said that because he likes the two of you. Esther totally made him laugh just now. And, Hennie, you’re a hundred times prettier than I am. He could not stop staring at you. Did you see that?”
“Yeah, right,” Hennie said. “He was staring at me because I practically threw up on myself, I was so nervous.”
