by Chris Colfer
Despite the little comfort her brother gave her, Alex cried herself to sleep.
Conner couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t stop thinking that, just a week before, he had been safe and sound in his own bed, fearing nothing but schoolwork and Mrs. Peters. And now, here he was, in the dungeons of another dimension, facing a life of slavery. How quickly times had changed….
Conner had just dozed off when he suddenly awoke; he felt like someone was watching him. He opened one eye and saw, standing on the other side of the cell door holding a single candle, the troll girl they had seen in the common room. She had been watching him sleep.
“Can I help you?” asked Conner, very creeped out.
“What’s your name?” the troll girl asked him in an airy and engaging voice.
“Why do you want to know?” he asked.
“Because I’d like to know everything about you,” she said with a dreamy smile that made Conner feel sick.
“I’m Conner. Who are you?” he asked.
“My name is Trollbella,” she said. “I’m a troll princess. My father is the Troll King. Do you have a girlfriend, Conner?”
Oh no, Conner thought. She had a crush on him. He was suddenly so grateful for the bars between them.
“Um… can’t say that I do,” Conner said awkwardly. “It’s hard to meet people after having been recently enslaved by trolls and goblins.”
“Oh, I know!” Trollbella said, with big flirty eyes. “Trolls and goblins are the worst! I hate living here. I would move away if I could. Everything is so unorganized and everyone is so mean, and don’t get me started on troll boys! They don’t know how to treat a lady!”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Conner said, hoping a goblin would walk in and take him away to work in a tunnel and save him from this situation.
“I’m just a hopeless romantic myself,” Trollbella said, batting her eyelashes and twirling one of her pigtails. “Can I call you Butterboy?”
“Definitely not,” Conner said.
“Conner, what’s going on?” asked Alex, waking up.
“Who is she?” Trollbella asked. Her playful expression fell into a threatened frown.
“Relax, this is just my sister,” Conner said.
“Hi?” said Alex, very confused about what was happening.
“I don’t like her,” Trollbella said, pointing at Alex.
Alex was taken aback. Had she done something wrong?
“She grows on you,” Conner said. “And if I had to be enslaved for life with someone, I’m glad it’s her.”
“Have you enjoyed your stay with us so far?” Trollbella asked.
“Not really,” Conner said. Was she kidding or just stupid?
“We’d really like to get out of here if you could help us,” Alex said.
“I’m not talking to you!” Trollbella yelled at Alex. She then turned her head slowly and smiled at Conner. “I may be able to give you freedom in exchange for something else.”
“What’s that?” Conner said. Both the twins would have been on the edge of their seats if they weren’t on a dirty dungeon floor.
“A kiss,” Trollbella said, staring passionately at Conner.
Conner gulped. “Well, I guess we’re going to be slaves forever.”
Trollbella frowned. Alex hit Conner upside the head.
“Kiss her, you idiot, and then we’ll get out of here!” Alex said.
“Don’t hit my Butterboy!” Trollbella said. “And I never said I would let you go, I only said I’d let him go.”
“I think he’d be more inclined if you promised to let both of us go,” Alex said.
“No, I wouldn’t! Please don’t speak on my behalf,” Conner chimed in, but neither of them was listening to him.
Trollbella’s nostrils flared up. She didn’t like negotiating. She turned around and disappeared without saying a word.
“Way to go, Conner!” Alex said. “That may have been our only chance to escape!”
“There’s no way I’m kissing that!” Conner said. “Freedom or no freedom, you’re asking way too much of me!”
The twins both jumped back from the cell door. Trollbella had quickly returned with a key; she was ready to make a deal.
“Pucker up, Butterboy,” Trollbella said, and pushed her head up against the bars of the cell door.
“I can’t do this. I physically can’t do this!” Conner said.
“Do you ever want to see home again?” Alex asked him.
Conner looked as if he were about to vomit and cry at the same time. At a snail’s pace he approached Trollbella with his lips extended. He wasn’t going fast enough for Alex, so she pushed him toward the cell door and Trollbella grabbed hold of him through the bars. She planted a big, fat, juicy kiss on him.
“Plaaaah!” Conner said, breaking away from her. He was wiping his mouth manically and gasping for air. Trollbella had a huge, satisfied grin on her face.
“That was the worst thing you have ever done to me!” Conner said, pointing at Alex, feeling completely betrayed. “How could you?”
“All right, Trollbella,” said Alex, ignoring her brother’s dramatics. “A deal is a deal. Let us go.”
Trollbella’s smile dropped into a scowl. She reluctantly unlocked the cell door and opened it. And as she did, Alex caught sight of the other slaves in the dungeon. The few that were awake had been silently and intently staring at the twins. They had never seen anyone be freed before; they hadn’t thought it was possible.
“You’re free to go,” Trollbella said.
The twins briskly walked out of the cell, but as Alex passed Trollbella, she swiftly grabbed the key and pushed the troll princess into the cell, slamming the door behind her.
“Let me out of here right now!” Trollbella screamed. “This wasn’t part of the deal!”
“I can’t leave without the others,” Alex said. She ran around unlocking the doors on all the cells. “Everyone wake up! We’re getting out of here! Come on!”
She ran over to the pile of waste on the side of the room and retrieved all their things.
“Guards!” Trollbella howled. “Guards! The slaves are escaping!”
“Trollbella?” Conner said. “Please be quiet! Would you do that? Please? For your Butterboy?”
Trollbella blushed. “All right, Butterboy. For you, I’ll be quiet.”
The slaves all stirred to life. It took them a moment to understand what Alex was saying; they had dreamed about this day for so long. Many eagerly jumped up and left their cells, but others hesitated, including the Traveling Tradesman.
“Come on,” Alex said. “What are you waiting for?”
“Are you two mad? They’ll skin us alive if we try to escape,” the Tradesman said. This worried some of the others, especially the children.
“Would you rather die in your cell or die trying to get back the life they stole from you?” Alex said.
Alex’s words must have inspired them, because they all gathered around her. Even the Tradesman was willing to take a chance for freedom. He nodded at Alex as he joined the group.
“Does anyone know the best way out of here?” Alex asked.
“We need to get to the tunnels!” a man said.
“Yes, the tunnels!” a woman agreed.
“How do we get there?” Conner asked.
“We’ll go up to the common room and past the stone arch. The trolls and goblins have built tunnels leading to every kingdom. That’s how they get around,” the Tradesman said.
“Do we need to worry about anyone catching us?” Conner asked.
“They’re all asleep by now,” Trollbella said with a sigh from her cell, “even the guards. That’s why no one came when I called.”
“All right, let’s go,” Alex said. “Everyone be as quiet as possible and help the older and younger ones in the group.”
Everyone nodded, and Alex led the way out of the dungeon, praying it would be the last time any of them were ever in this room again.
�
��Until we meet again, Butterboy,” Trollbella said, and blew Conner a kiss.
“Whatever,” Conner said, and then followed the others out of the dungeon.
Trollbella smiled from horn to horn. This had been the most exciting day of her entire life.
The group of escapees traveled up the tunnel to the common room and snuck past a line of goblin guards. Just as Trollbella had said, they were asleep while standing guard.
They finally reached the common room and covered their mouths in horror at what they saw. All the trolls and goblins that Alex and Conner had seen carousing on the way in were spread across the floor, passed out. How were they going to get to the other side of the room without stepping on one of them?
Some were snoring, others twitched in their sleep. Even the Troll King and the Goblin King were sleeping in their thrones. You could barely see the floor between the unconscious monsters sprawled across the room.
“Quickly and quietly!” Alex whispered to the group. “We can do this; just be as careful as possible.”
They began tiptoeing around the sleeping creatures. Carefully they put their feet between the monsters’ spread-out limbs, between the broken plates and goblets across the dirt floor, and between the knocked-over chairs and tables.
Every time a troll or a goblin made any noise or movement, everyone froze, their hearts stopped for a moment. If any of the monsters were to wake up and see their slaves walking through the room toward the exit, it would be a disaster.
They were almost at the stone tunnel. Alex stopped in the middle of the room and made sure everyone passed her safely and that no one was left behind. Eventually, everyone had made it except her brother, who remained very still in the back of the room. He was staring at the Troll King and the Goblin King with wide eyes and an open mouth.
“Conner! What are you doing?” Alex asked in her loudest whisper.
“Look!” he mouthed, only a little whisper coming out. “Look at the crown! It’s the crown!”
Alex looked up at the stone crown above the Troll King’s and Goblin King’s heads.
“What about it?” Alex whispered.
“It’s the crown for the Wishing Spell!” Conner said. “ ‘A stony crown that’s made to share, found deep within a savage lair’!”
Alex could feel her heart beating in her throat. Conner was right. It fit the description perfectly.
“What are you two doing? We’re waiting for you!” the Tradesman said from the stone tunnel.
Alex and Conner looked at each other. They knew they couldn’t leave without the crown.
“Go ahead without us!” Alex said.
“Suit yourselves!” the Tradesman said, and then left with the others down the stone tunnel.
“I’m going to get it!” Conner whispered to Alex.
“Be careful!” Alex said.
Conner slowly moved through the room. He accidentally kicked a goblet, and it made a loud ding, causing a few of the trolls and goblins to twitch in their sleep.
“Sorry!” Conner mouthed to Alex. He climbed up onto the throne platform. The crown was pretty high up; he would have to climb up onto the thrones to get it.
He climbed onto the armrest of the Troll King’s throne. His left leg was so close to the king’s face that Conner could feel the king’s warm breath through his jeans. Conner swung his right leg onto the armrest of the Goblin King’s throne and reached up for the crown. It was still too high. He would have to jump for it.
Alex had to cover her eyes. Her hands were trembling.
Conner jumped and tried to grab the crown, but he was just a few inches too short. He jumped again; the tips of his fingers touched it this time. He jumped once more—this time, the highest jump yet—and grabbed it. Unfortunately, on his way down, he missed the armrests and landed right in the lap of the Goblin King.
“Ahhhhhh!” the Goblin King screamed.
Alex took her hands from her face just in time to see her terrified brother sprawled across the Goblin King’s lap, with the crown held tightly in his hands. Conner jumped up and ran as fast as he could, grabbing his sister’s arm on the way toward the exit.
“After them!” the Goblin King ordered. “Someone grab them!”
The entire room of trolls and goblins began waking up to the Goblin King’s yells.
Alex and Conner weren’t careful about what or who they stepped on. They ran straight through the common room and down the tunnel of stones. Dozens of trolls and goblins chased after them.
The twins ran past the two horrible statues at the tunnel’s entrance. The goblin statue suddenly crashed to the ground just as they passed it, blocking the tunnel. Alex screamed—had they been a second later, it would have fallen on them.
They turned to see the Tradesman, out of breath and holding his heart. He had just knocked over the statue and blocked the tunnel. The trolls and goblins had reached the end of the tunnel and were struggling to get past the fallen statue.
“That should keep them busy for a while,” the Tradesman said. “Now run!”
“Where’s everyone else?” Alex asked.
“They’ve fled to the tunnels! They’re safe!” he said.
“What about you?” Alex asked.
“I couldn’t leave without you,” the Tradesman said. “I’m old, children. I’d never outrun them anyway. You two still have a lot of living to do, so run before they get past the statue. Hurry!”
“We’re not leaving without you!” Alex said.
“I’m wanted in every kingdom,” the Tradesman said between deep breaths. “No matter where I go, I’ll end up behind bars. I’ve done a lot of bad things in my day, children. I’ve made a lot of trades and deals that I shouldn’t have. I deserve this. You don’t. Now run!”
Alex’s and Conner’s feet moved before their minds could decide whether to stay any longer. They ran ahead and found a series of tunnels leading in different directions. Each had a sign above the entrance that said where the tunnel led to.
“Come on,” Alex said, and grabbed Conner’s arm, pulling him into the tunnel that said FAIRY KINGDOM above it. They tucked the troll and goblin crown safely away in Alex’s bag.
“Did we do the right thing?” Alex asked Conner as they ran down the tunnel. “Should we have left him?”
“He wasn’t going to come with us; his mind was made up,” Conner said. He knew they had done everything they could, but he still felt guilty, too.
“How could a stranger give up so much for us?” Alex said.
“Maybe he thought trading his freedom for ours would be the only honest trade he’d ever make,” Conner said.
CHAPTER TWELVE
THE FAIRY KINGDOM
Alex and Conner emerged from underground between a tree and a big rock. They were covered in dirt and cobwebs and were breathing hard and sweating profusely; it had been so stuffy in the tunnel.
“We made it,” Alex said. “We’re at the surface.”
“I never thought I’d be so happy to see the sun and the sky,” Conner said.
It was sometime around noon, and the twins had found themselves in a pleasant, grassy field next to a perfectly groomed path.
“Is that the path we should have taken after the Red Riding Hood Kingdom?” Conner asked.
“Yup,” Alex said, looking down at the map. “But think of all the fun we would have missed out on.”
They shared a laugh. The twins brushed themselves off and headed down the path. They felt very safe in this place. All the trees and fields were perfectly manicured and inviting. Then again, anything would have seemed inviting after narrowly escaping a lifetime of slavery for trolls and goblins.
“Are we positive that we’re in the Fairy Kingdom?” Conner said, looking around.
“I’d say it’s very possible,” Alex said, but she wasn’t looking down at the map.
“How do you figure?” Conner asked her.
“Well, that’s an indication,” Alex said, and pointed.
Grazing aro
und a perfect little stream ahead of them, to their amazement, was a herd of unicorns. They were beautiful: white with silver horns, silver hooves, and silver manes.
Conner’s forehead wrinkled, and his mouth dropped open. “Oh, jeez,” he said. “That is the most obnoxious thing I’ve ever seen in my life!”
“I want to pet one!” Alex said, and ran toward them.
“Alex, be careful!” Conner said. “They could have rabies!”
“Unicorns don’t have rabies, Conner!” Alex said.
“You don’t know where those horns have been!” Conner called out.
Alex walked up to the herd, slowing her pace so she wouldn’t spook them. They were so majestic and graceful, she just had to stop and admire them for a moment. One saw her and walked toward her.
Any sane person would have been scared by a wild animal approaching them, but Alex wasn’t. For whatever reason, she knew the unicorn wasn’t going to harm her. It lowered its head, and she petted its face.
Conner walked up and stood just behind her. All the other unicorns slowly surrounded them.
“Alex,” Conner said. “This is making me incredibly nervous.”
The unicorns formed a perfect circle around the twins and bowed to them. Alex smiled from ear to ear. Conner raised a suspicious eyebrow.
“This is trippy,” he said.
“Maybe they’re welcoming us into their kingdom?” Alex said.
The unicorns stood still as if frozen and didn’t show any sign of moving. Conner grabbed Alex’s hand, and they left the circle and rejoined the path. The stream traveled beside the path as the twins traveled down it.
“Is it just me, or is that water sparkling?” Conner asked. He was right. The farther they walked along the stream, the more it appeared to glow and shimmer.
“That must mean we’re getting close!” Alex said happily. “That’s Thumbelina Stream. It should take us straight into the Fairy Kingdom.”
“I say we grab hold of the first fairy we find and call her names like ‘oversized insect’ or ‘fish bait’ until she cries,” Conner said. “That’s how we’ll get the tears.”
“No! We should come up with a really sad story to tell,” Alex said, and then a thought occurred to her. “How are we going to collect the tears once they’ve been shed?”
