Chapter Four
Julian
Time stopped in the Java Hut coffee shop.
Tina’s lips were warm and soft, and she tasted of coffee. Coffee and something else. Something sweet. Her arms wrapped around my neck as she pressed up against me.
Good God, she was soft everywhere. Beautifully, achingly soft. Her curves, her lips, the fabric of her top that was bunched up in my fists as I held her tight in return.
After a second of shocked stillness I kissed her back. There was no thought involved, just instinct. Everything told me to hold her close. Keep her safe and keep her in my arms.
And for one blissful moment, that was what I did.
All too quickly she pulled away. I found myself staring down into her beautiful face, too dazed to speak.
She grinned up at me and I had the unnerving feeling that I was falling. And not necessarily in a good way. It was unsettling and bizarre and then…then I fell some more.
Tina winked and I tumbled back to reality with a thud. I was kissing Tina Withers. On a stage.
My arms were still around her but she gently pushed against my shoulder until I set her free. Bracing herself against my chest, she leaned in once more until her breath was hot on my neck. “Now we’re even.”
I stared after her as she turned back toward the crowd and jumped off the stage with a graceful little leap, either not hearing the catcalls and whistles that followed in the wake of her little performance, or just not caring.
Now we’re even.
Now we’re even?
I stood there looking like a dumbstruck moron on that stage. Because that’s what I was. Struck dumb. I had lost all higher brain functions in the wake of that kiss.
Tina kissed me.
And she’d done it in some bizarre misguided attempt to help me.
That was the second realization to break through my stupor, the next was that I had to move. The following act was already coming onto the stage and I had to get off to make way.
It was only then that I remembered where exactly I was, and who was out there.
Namely, a coffee shop filled with people. Alice and some friendly acquaintances…and Leila.
My head snapped up as I tucked my guitar under my arm.
Sure enough, Leila was staring.
Glaring, actually.
Something warm and fuzzy and entirely immature swelled inside me. I resisted the urge to do something dumb like flip her off or pump my fist in the air like some ‘roided out bro.
I wasn’t kidding when I said this feeling was immature. Maturity left the building as I fled the stage, a stupid grin on my face as I realized exactly what Tina had done.
She’d made Leila jealous. She’d given my ex a taste of her own medicine…and oh man, the bitter look on her face was priceless.
I’d thought I was a bigger man. When Tina had used me to make Alex jealous, I hadn’t understood. I’d thought I was better than that.
In the days since that awkward phone conversation with Leila my thoughts and emotions had ricocheted all over the place—going from extreme anger to saintly forgiveness, from longing to have our relationship back to wondering if what we’d had was ever all that good in the first place.
But through all of this back and forth craziness, I hadn’t come up with a plan to move on. I’d been stuck in a never-ending hellhole of toxic emotions with no way out.
It hadn’t even occurred to me to try and get some sort of revenge. I didn’t let myself go there.
Today Tina had given me a gift I’d never even known I’d wanted.
And now she was gone. I reached the table where Alice sat beaming up at me, clapping her hands with excitement. “Oh my God, that was awesome. Did you see Leila’s face?”
I nodded, my gaze seeking her out. Her meaning Tina, not Leila. “Where’d she go?”
“Tina?” Alice pointed toward the door. “She bolted. Maybe she thought playing the mystery woman would drive Leila even more insane.”
Alice’s laugh could only be described as evil. “I think I may have a newfound love of Briarwood’s psycho sweetheart.” When I glanced over I saw a strange mix of curiosity, awe, and pure joy in her expression as she slapped my arm. “Seriously, why would she do that? And why for you?”
I stood there for a moment, torn between staying to tell Alice everything or following Tina. I hated keeping secrets from Alice, but a sense of urgency made it impossible to stand still while Tina walked away from me. I needed to talk to her.
“I—I’m sorry, Al. I’ve got to run.” I was already walking backwards toward the door. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, ‘kay?”
Alice arched her brows but she was smiling as she waved me away. “Go. Have fun.” She pointed a finger at me. “But don’t think I’m not going to hound you for answers at school tomorrow.”
“Understood.” I turned and walked faster, ignoring the people who tried to congratulate me. I didn’t let myself look in Leila’s direction, as tempting as that was.
I wasn’t sure how I should look. I wasn’t cool enough to be able to play cool and casual, like it was every day that an insanely hot little blonde threw herself at me on stage in front of my lying, cheating ex.
I found Tina walking away from the coffee shop. She was halfway down the block when I shouted her name.
She stopped and turned slowly, an impish smile on her lips.
Those lips.
I’d kissed those lips.
Oh hell, there was that feeling again. The one that made it feel like I was sinking and floating at the same time. Unsettling was one word for it. Another way of putting it?
My world was being flipped upside down.
I had no idea how much of that sensation had to do with Leila and her reaction, or how much was just the shock of that kiss.
I didn’t know much of anything these days, and I knew absolutely nothing when it came to my own heart.
“You don’t have to thank me,” Tina said, tilting her head to the side to look up at me. She smirked and I found myself smiling back.
“But I want to.” I shoved my hands into my pockets. For the first time ever I felt absurdly awkward in front of this girl with the kind of brash confidence I never understood. I was a confident guy, but not like that. Not like she was. I knew some of it was an act but even her act required courage.
She put on a brave face at all times. It must have been exhausting. But I still envied her a bit. Admired her, even, in a weird sort of way.
“Why’d you do it?” I asked.
She shifted. “Because I owe you.”
That answer made my smile fade. “Why do you think you owe me?”
She pursed her lips for a moment like she’d just tasted something sour. “You’ve been…” She waved a hand before settling on, “You’ve been helpful.” She gave her head a little shake. “Your stupid intervention thing, it…it helps.”
I stared in shock. That might have been the most honest thing I’d ever heard her say. Her tone was so genuine I almost didn’t recognize it.
“I’m glad.” Oh hell. Was that my voice? I cleared my throat and tried again. “So that kiss back there, that was—”
“Payback.” Tina’s smile turned mischievous. “I have to admit, I got a certain satisfaction out of that.”
“The kiss?” I arched a brow teasingly.
She laughed and I’m not sure if I was imagining things but I thought maybe she turned a little pink. Maybe.
Probably not.
The light of the streetlamps was far too dim to tell. “No, you dope. Making that ex of yours turn green.”
That immature but undeniable satisfaction had me grinning like a moron all over again. “She did seem a little pissed, huh?”
Tina arched a brow. “A little? I’m going to have to watch my back the whole way home.” She took a step forward and jabbed a finger into my chest. “So what’s your view on making exes jealous now, Mr. High and Mighty?”
I tilted my head from si
de to side as though I were debating the issue but there was no denying my admittedly immature satisfaction at watching Leila squirm. “Yeah, okay,” I admitted. “Maybe making exes pay has its merits.”
She gave me a smug little smile before gesturing over her shoulder toward her parked car. “I’d better head, but I’ll see you at school tomorrow, yeah?” The mention of her leaving brought back that weird urgent feeling. I wasn’t done with this, whatever this was. We weren’t finished. With what? I didn’t know, I just knew I wasn’t done talking to her tonight. I wasn’t ready to watch her walk away again.
I looked back toward the coffee shop. “Don’t you want to hang around?” I didn’t know why I offered. I mean, I knew it was a bad idea. She wasn’t friends with Alice, and it wasn’t like she and I were even friends. Not really. What would the three of us talk about? Maybe if Brian were there he could act as a sort of ambassador for the world of outcasts. The star quarterback had somehow managed to cross the social divide, but I had a hunch that had more to do with his longstanding friendship with Alice than anything else. They had some common ground, at least, unlike me and Tina.
And unlike me and Leila, as it turned out.
Tina shook her head. “I’d better get going.”
I had no idea why I couldn’t just let her go. I just…couldn’t. “Are you worried that Leila is going to scratch your eyes out?” I teased. “Because, you know, I’ll protect you.” I puffed out my chest and flexed my muscles as I said it and she laughed as I’d hoped she would.
She shook her head again, but this time her eyes were lit with laughter. “Thanks, but it wasn’t me I was worried about.”
I arched my brows. “You think Leila will hurt me? Look, I know she has her faults but I don’t think she’s going to slap me or anything. It’s sweet of you to worry though.”
She rolled her eyes as she laughed. “I meant, I’m worried that you’ll ruin all my hard work back there.”
I knew what she was getting at, but I couldn’t resist. I took a step closer and lowered my voice. “Are you saying kissing me was hard work?”
She shoved my chest. “Don’t be an idiot, you know what I meant. I’ve gotten your ex all worked up over the fact that you’ve moved on.” She tossed her long blonde hair over her shoulder dramatically. “And with someone so much hotter than her, no less.”
“And you think I’ll ruin it?” I glanced back toward the coffee shop. “No way. I loved that look on her face.”
“Mmm.” Tina crossed her arms and arched her brows, looking every inch the A-list, mean girl, cheerleading captain that she was. “No offense, but you wouldn’t be able to sell the lie.”
I widened my eyes. “Excuse me?”
She ignored my pretend outrage. “Face it, you’re an honest guy. The minute her lower lip trembled and she asked ‘have you really moved on so quickly?’ you’d be dead meat.”
I stared at her openmouthed, slightly terrified of the amazing way she’d just nailed the Leila impersonation. For a second there she’d gone from tough, cocky Tina to a simpering, pitiful girlie girl.
And she’d sounded exactly like Leila. She’d even looked like her when she’d bitten her lip and looked up at me through her eyelashes. “Do you know her?” I asked, suspicion clear in my voice.
Tina let out a loud sigh. “I don’t know her-know her, but I know her type.”
Ugh. I felt a little nauseous. It was rapidly becoming clear that I was, in fact, a moron and a dope and an idiot, and every other name Tina had called me over the past couple weeks. “She’s that obvious?”
Tina studied me for a second before giving me an apologetic wince. “She’s pretty obvious.”
“Huh.” That’s all I could say. That immature sense of satisfaction at her jealousy vanished in the warm spring air around us. “She only cared about you kissing me because she doesn’t want someone else to have me.”
Which was not the same thing as her wanting me. I didn’t need Tina’s insight to point out that lovely fact. She didn’t care about me, she just didn’t want anyone else to have me. She didn’t want to be replaced, at least not so quickly.
This relationship had always been about her—how I looked at her, what I gave her, how much I’d cared for her. She’d taken and given little in return. Not after those first few weeks at least. But by then I’d been so far gone that I hadn’t noticed that it was all about her.
It was so obvious now but somehow I’d missed it. All those months we were together, I hadn’t seen the girl who was right in front of my eyes.
Tina gave me a sad smile. “Players hate to lose.”
I nodded slowly. I had nothing to say to that. And honestly I didn’t want to think about it anymore. “Well, much as I hate to admit that you’re right…” I paused for effect. “You are right.”
She leaned in as if letting me in on a secret. “I’m always right.”
“Fair enough,” I agreed easily. After all, the girl was joking—I hoped—and she had just given my wounded pride a heavy dose of satisfaction.
She narrowed her eyes in suspicion. “Wait, you agree?”
I nodded. “Absolutely. If you and I went back in there together I’d have to pretend to be in love with you for Leila’s sake and…” I shook my head with an over-the-top wince. “No one would believe that.”
She punched my arm—hard. This time my wince wasn’t for show.
“Loser,” she muttered. But she still had a small smile hovering over her lips, and I found that somehow, quite unexpectedly, I’d become a sort of connoisseur of this girl’s smiles.
She took a step backwards toward her car. “I’ll let you go back to it then,” she said. She gave me a little wink. “Go revel in your victory.”
“Wait!”
She stopped suddenly and I realized perhaps that had come out a little more…enthusiastic than intended. “I mean, hang on a sec.”
She tilted her head to the side and I found myself scrambling. “Alice and I usually grab a slice of pizza after my show.” I nodded toward a pizza place that was down the street from the coffee shop. “Want to join us?”
This wasn’t a lie. We normally did get pizza, but we typically waited until all the performances were over and Leila was off work so we could all go. Sometimes Brian joined us too.
Tina hesitated and I saw her bite her lower lip for a half second as she debated. Finally, she shrugged. “Yeah, sure, why not?”
The phrase Why not should never make anyone as happy as it made me. I couldn’t tell if I really was that happy to have pizza with Tina or if I’d been in such a funk lately that any glimmer of happiness seemed that much brighter in response.
Either way, I was pretty damned psyched for pizza.
I grabbed Alice back at the coffee shop and told her the new plan as I led her out the door. While she shot me a look of confusion, she readily agreed to pizza with Tina. I distinctly heard her mumble something about not being able to wait to tell Brian about this but I ignored her.
I knew what she meant but now was not the time or place to explain how Tina and I had forged a bizarre pseudo friendship. Then again, maybe I wouldn’t need to explain. After approximately thirty seconds of awkward silence, Tina asked Alice about the spring musical, which was the perfect conversation starter for my best friend’s favorite topic. After that, the conversation between the three of us flowed easily, like we were all honestly friends instead of this being two friends and one mean girl arch nemesis who we used to refer to as crazyface on a regular basis.
“Where’s Brian tonight?” Tina asked as she nibbled on her slice.
It occurred to me then that these two weren’t from such separate worlds as I would have thought. I tended to forget that Alice was now a visitor of other social stratospheres alongside Brian, the popularity ambassador. The two of them must have gone to the same parties and hung out in the same crowds now and again since Brian was sort of friends with Alex and the other uber athletes who Alice and I liked to mock.
Except for Brian, of course. Unless we were mocking him to his face, which he took surprisingly well.
“He’s hanging out with some of his friends tonight,” Alice said, waving a hand dismissively.
Jealousy shot through me so quickly it hurt. Not jealousy over Brian—I loved Alice, but not like that. I was jealous of her easy attitude toward her boyfriend. It wasn’t that she didn’t care that he was off with his friends, it was that she wasn’t concerned.
At some point along the way, I’d started to hate those nights when Leila went out with friends without me. I’d spend the night filled with dread and worry, like I was missing out on something or that something was going on without me.
I’d thought it was my problem. Staring down at my pizza the past shifted like a kaleidoscope and in one heart-pounding, pizza-centric moment I realized the truth of the matter. I wasn’t jealous by nature, as I’d assumed—I’d had a gut instinct. I’d known something was wrong.
For months leading up to the end of our relationship I’d known something was off. I’d been so crazy jealous and constantly filled with fear—but when I brought it up she’d made me feel like I was being crazy. An irrational, overly possessive boyfriend with an overactive imagination.
But I hadn’t been. I wasn’t.
Hurt spread through me fast and fierce as I realized that the girl I’d thought I’d loved had not only cheated on me—she’d made me doubt myself. She’d messed with my head.
I looked over at Tina who had that sad smile on her face as she and Alice talked about what Brian was up to. I had to wonder if she felt the same jealousy over Alice’s easy relationship and the sort of trust she had with her boyfriend. A trust that seemed so effortless.
The conversation turned to graduation and plans for the summer and fall. I stopped paying attention. I had too much going on in my brain to contribute to that conversation and it was far more entertaining to watch Tina and Alice interact.
Tina was nice to Alice. Genuinely sweet…or maybe sweetly genuine? As she’d aptly pointed out to me in the stockroom, Tina didn’t really do sweet. But her seemingly genuine interest in Alice’s role in the spring play was nice to see.
The Prom Kiss (Briarwood High Book 5) Page 7
