by Barb Han
A heavy sigh sounded. “I’m sorry about before. Figured you’d hit the door and start worrying about yourself for a change if I pushed you away.”
“Don’t do that to me again. Ever. Okay?”
Another pained breath. “I won’t.”
“I can’t come see you right now. I’m away on business,” she lied, deciding it was best if he didn’t know she spent all her time trying to help him even when she should be at work. “How about you? How are you feeling?”
“Tired. Can’t hold on much longer.”
“Yes, you can. The doctor said you’re one of the strongest men he’s ever seen,” she lied again, figuring he needed encouragement more than absolute truth. Rae didn’t know how to quit. Thank God she hadn’t inherited his defeatist attitude.
Rae couldn’t bear to think about her father giving up. Why couldn’t he fight? If not for himself, then for her. A well of panic rose in her chest. Her throat tightened. The air thinned. She wished for one second Daegen had stayed in the room. His presence provided comfort it shouldn’t.
“I’ve got nothing keeping me here but you. I hate to let you down twice.”
“I need you.”
“No. Dear child. You don’t. I’ll only drag you down. You’re young. Got your whole life ahead. You don’t need someone like me draining your time and cash. Spend your money on yourself.”
“I have plenty,” she said with confidence she didn’t own. At least she knew why he’d tried to push her away before. It was his way of protecting her.
“These bills are too much for anyone to pay. I can’t stand you wasting your savings like you are. If it were up to me, you’d stop. Don’t want to be a burden to no one.”
“You’re not. We’ve already discussed this. I’m helping and that’s final. We’re going to beat this. You’ll be well before Christmas.” What was it about talking to her father that reduced Rae to feeling lost and alone, that same six-year-old who’d kicked, screamed, and begged him not to leave her with the CPS worker? She’d fought to keep them together all those years ago, was still, and he should too, dammit.
Besides, throwing in the towel without giving her all wasn’t in her DNA.
And she wasn’t a little girl anymore. At twenty-eight, she was old enough to have a say in what happened. Rae simply refused to allow anything less from her father. “Now be good. Don’t talk like that. We’re going to get you back on track again soon. You’ll feel better in no time.”
“For what? What reason? What have I got to live for? No job. No way to earn a living. A life like mine ain’t worth saving, girl.”
Tears burned Rae’s eyes. “Don’t say that. I need you. Nothing else matters.” Her voice quivered.
“I didn’t mean to upset you. Think about what you’re doing though. You’ve spent too much on me already.”
She wiped a tear as it streaked down her cheek. You’re all I’ve got in the world. “Get some rest, Dad. Don’t give up hope. Believe you’re going to feel better and you will.”
“If you say so. Doc says I’m getting new medicine. Thinks I’ll be asleep for a few days. I’ll call as soon as I’m able.”
The life drained from her, Rae hung up the phone. Her mind was in chaos. With her laptop battery dead, work was out of the question. She was trapped in between two moods. Not coherent enough to be productive. Not tired enough to sleep.
She took off her suit jacket and plucked at her blouse. The air conditioning hadn’t kicked on in the bedroom since she’d been inside. The humidity had increased to the point of awful. Must be about to rain. Droplets of sweat rolled down her back. She had no business being here on the island when her dad needed her.
If only there was a way to get Daegen to send the experimental drug to Dallas, leave, and get home in time for the meeting. She still had time. Maybe he would listen to reason if she explained how much she needed work and to be near her father.
Then again, she’d asked a lot from him already. He was doing even more than she expected getting her father to speak to her again. She had no right to ask for what she’d received already, let alone go for more.
She managed to put on a blouse and jeans, and decided to leave her room to search for him. If for no other reason than to ask how he got her father to speak with her so quickly.
It didn’t take long to find him in the kitchen. He wore running shorts. His shirt was off. His body glistened with a thin sheen of sweat from a workout.
Awareness skittered across her taut nerves. Warmth circled like a whirlpool, centering between her thighs. Rae struggled against the unwelcomed sexual feelings overpowering her.
In a heartbeat, the distance between them disappeared. A gasp escaped before she could suppress it. Rae needed to maintain control. She willed her body to relax.
Before she could utter a protest, his strong hand closed on hers and pulled her closer.
“You’re different in some ways,” he said. “Not in all.”
His deep baritone stirred her emotions. She struggled against the surge of longing his touch sent. His scent this close amplified the electric impulses that had been lit in every cell in her body.
Oddly enough, the band clasping her chest loosened as his arm slid around her waist until his hand rested on the small of her back.
“I bet you still like it when I kiss the dimple in your chin.” His head dipped, and his lips pressed gently against her electrified skin.
Rae struggled to breathe against the swell of passion filling her chest.
“It’s not your agenda that brought you here,” he said, his husky tone low, raspy. He pinned her with his gaze. The tenderness of his lips in sharp contrast to the fire in his eyes. “It’s mine.”
Peppering a trail of hot, little kisses from her chin to where her pulse throbbed at the base of her throat, he paused long enough to say, “You’re incredible. Sexy. Any man would tell you.”
Alone with Daegen, Rae could not breathe, could not speak as his long lean fingers stretched, stroked, sent devastating chills up and down the length of her arm. All remnants of rational thought dissipated as Rae found herself swimming in the familiar ocean current of desire.
Then he smiled at her. Knowing. Intimate. Hers.
“You’re still beautiful,” he said, and his voice was soft. It sent promises of tender, warm caresses. “Even more so.”
Her eyelids lowered as she gave in to the moment happening between them. A rational thought broke through her sensual fog. She could give him her body and all of her heart as she’d been close to before...and then what? Everyone left eventually. By choice or by force, he would too.
She had to stop this while she still could.
Clearing her throat, she sidestepped his grasp. Breaking contact with Daegen physically hurt. Her body rebelled. “I’m sure you’re busy. I’ve squandered enough of your time.” She’d known this would be hard. What she hadn’t figured was her heart would be ripped from her chest. “First of all, thanks for helping me get through to my dad.”
His gaze penetrated her. “Why didn’t you talk about your family when we were together?”
She couldn’t go there with Daegen.
“How did you get past the switchboard?” she asked, redirecting the conversation. “And how did you convince my dad to talk to me?”
“I’m involved with the hospital he’s staying at. That was the easy part.” He smiled his closed-mouth upturned grin. “The second part took a bit more finesse.”
She had no doubt. Daegen’s skills far outweighed hers. Obviously. “I just don’t understand how you did it.”
“I played hardball.” There came the sexy smirk again.
Damn. She planted her fists on her hips. “What does that mean?”
“I found out what he liked and held it against him.”
Heat rose from her neck. Surely Daegen hadn’t threatened her father or used her against him. “I’m afraid you’re going to have to spell it out for me.”
“J-e-l-l-capital-o. He loves the stuff.
The nurse threatened to take it away if he didn’t start behaving.”
Her heart deflated a little at the thought Jell-O was more important than she was. Don’t go there with the self-pity thing. You know he loves you.
“There’ll be no more bills either,” Daegen said.
Shock momentarily robbed her voice. Had she heard correctly? “I’m, um, grateful...I am. So don’t take this the wrong way when I say I can’t let you pay his expenses for me.”
He waved a strong hand. “I won’t. It’s a write-off for the hospital. A benefit of being selected for the study. I’ve made sure he’s not part of the control group. He’ll be given the medicine.”
Words fell painfully short of the gratitude warming Rae’s heart. A selfish thought hit her. She wished she could be there to see for herself. She quickly suppressed her disappointment.
“What is it?” Daegen asked, his gaze intent. A dawn of recognition lightened his features. “You want to be there with him, don’t you?”
“I could never ask that of you. Not after what you’ve done. I’ll stay here as we agreed.”
“I’d planned for this to be a surprise. I can see you won’t be able to relax until you know.” Daegen glanced at his watch. “His flight leaves in an hour.”
“Where?” she asked, stunned.
“I’ve arranged for a private plane to pick him up. He’ll be accompanied by his physician.”
“What? Why? How?” she stammered.
“You’ll be more comfortable when he’s on the same continent.”
“He’s coming here? How’s it even possible? How can he fly in his condition?” Her heart squeezed at his thoughtfulness. She’d done nothing to deserve such kindness. “I’ll never be able to repay you for this.”
“Yes. You will.”
“Name it.”
“I see you’ve changed clothes. What you’re wearing is a better choice for what I have in mind,” he said as he turned his back to her.
“For what?” she asked, glancing down at her jeans and blouse, ignoring the shivers lighting her senses at the sight of his muscled back. Her fingers involuntarily tensed with the need to touch him.
“We’re going into the rain forest. We can talk more there.”
“Why the jungle? Why not here?” Rae asked a little too quickly. Fear gripped her. She didn’t plan on traipsing through that dense forest with anyone, even a skillful naturalist like him. Panic gripped her and her breath caught. She didn’t have a death wish. “You know how I feel about that.”
Daegen glanced at his watch again but didn’t turn as he pulled a T-shirt over his head. “My herbalist has probably just landed.”
“Who?”
“We’re searching for a rare herb. It’s a purple clover the size of a fingernail. A local guy found it while hiking and brought it to me. I want it classified. I need to know its properties. For that, I need an expert.” There was a familiar excitement in his tone. His eyes glittered with enthusiasm. His smile lit up, making his face even more attractive. He came alive in Borneo, left his all-business persona behind.
“Oh.” Rae realized she’d been a little too quick to judge earlier. Until now, she’d been convinced Daegen brought her to the villa for the memories alone. His own particular brand of cruelty to manipulate her emotions like strategic moves on a chessboard. Embarrassing as it was to learn, he was there for business reasons. Flames of shame licked her neck, crawling to warm her face when she remembered most of the herbs that went into his medicine came from his personal expeditions here.
“You didn’t think I came to the island for you, did you?” he asked casually.
Actually, she had believed just that. And she was mortified by the very fact, but she didn’t think it was beneath Daegen to pull out all the stops, bring her to the island to evoke memories and drop her to her knees. She said a silent prayer there was enough distance between them to hide her humiliation.
“Of course not,” she said without conviction. She repressed the joke trying to play out that this place was special to them. Daegen was a rich playboy intent on staying that way. A man like him would take her alone to his personal retreat? Now that was funny.
Her special island was simply another trip home to him. She, another warm body to curl up against, was no better or different than any other woman he brought there, except she’d been the one to tell him no. She’d most likely bruised his ego. Thus, the reason he wanted her again. He felt the burn from her ending it rather than the other way around. Rae was sure women didn’t normally walk out of Daegen Tan’s life.
Besides, Kota had spoken volumes with his reaction to her insistence on being taken to another room. He expected her, like all the others, to sleep with the man of the house.
And why did she care? Why did knowing other women came here twist her insides into a knot? What Daegen did or didn’t do was none of her business. She’d lost the right to know when she marched out the door without looking back.
Under the right circumstances, everyone left. Because of that, she preferred to leave first before her heart got broken.
So why did the air in her chest deflate?
Chapter Four
“I’m sure it’s beautiful out there, but I’ve never been traipsing around in the jungle, and I don’t intend to start now. I’ll stay here and cook something for you,” Rae said firmly. The image of being stranded, drenched, and carried off by ants the size of her foot popped into Rae’s mind. The air was uncomfortably thin. She closed her eyes, rubbed them, and fought against the panic attack threatening to asphyxiate her. Don’t go if you can’t handle it.
“Rain forest,” he corrected, “and it’s perfectly harmless with the proper equipment and guide.”
She forced a laugh. “Either way, I don’t think it’s for me.”
“Here’s a thought. Trust me.”
“Oh, right, what was I thinking? Trusting you should be a breeze. Especially since you’ve proven yourself to be so trustworthy before.”
His dark brow arched. A play of emotions crossed his features. Regret?
Not the topic she wanted to discuss right now. “Besides, I’m sure you say that to every woman you bring here. According to the papers, there’s someone new every week. Think I’ll pass.” Did that come out as jealous?
He laughed, and it mocked her insecurity. His amusement trailed down her spine as if he’d scraped his fingernail down it.
“So you get your information about me from the papers?” His expression was a mix of anger and disdain.
“What you do in your personal life is none of my business. I have no right to voice my opinion,” she said, trying to shake off the fire from his glare.
He pinned her with his gaze. “You have to take risks outside of the boardroom if you want to really live.”
“You’re one to talk. Not all of us enjoy putting our lives on the line for thrills.” He’d just agreed to help her, why was she being so combative? Because she was losing her grasp on the few tendrils of sanity she had left being so near him. He made her want things she shouldn’t. Like his arms around her. His lips on her neck. His hands roaming her body.
“My so-called unsafe jaunts into the rain forest have saved thousands of lives,” he scoffed. Contempt parted his lips. “Besides, a life lived solely for work is hardly worth the effort of breathing. How do you not die from boredom?”
“You, with enough money to line up your bills and wrap the world a thousand times, should talk. At least I’ll live to work another day,” she said, blinking back tears. What was it about the truth being spoken out loud that hurt so much?
“You’re not getting away with the easy answer.”
“You don’t get a say,” she sniffed.
His jaw clenched. “Why are you so serious all the time?”
“Why are you not?” But she knew that for a lie as soon as the words rolled off her tongue.
“Are we going to keep going round like this?” he barked. “We’re losing daylight.”
“If I get hurt, who’ll be there...?”
She stopped herself from asking who’d be there for her father. He didn’t even want her around and Daegen already knew that.
“To what? Take care of your father or finish your work? Which is more important, Rae?”
“Look, others depend on me.” She folded her arms and hugged them tightly into her chest. Did he think she’d left him for her career?
“I’m sure your office will figure out how to sit in meetings, form committees who’ll create endless lists of action items, and schedule even more meetings while actually accomplishing nothing without you right there to direct every movement.”
Right. He did everything on his own terms. Didn’t depend on anything or anybody. Not that she didn’t admire the quality. She wished she could breeze through life hopping from one adventure to another never needing another soul. Oh, and with enough money to have financial security and the added bonus of never feeling alone.
To never be lonely.
Because that was about all she ever felt.
“I’m good at what I do. What’s wrong with caring about your career?” Could he see her body tremble?
His hand came up and tucked a loose tendril of hair behind her ear.
She stepped back to avoid his embrace. “You don’t know me.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. I see right through you, and you’re scared as hell. You and your father aren’t alone. You have me now.”
“That doesn’t change the reality.”
“You’re a fighter. You’ll find a way.” He took a step forward, and his hand closed on hers. “I’m offering you a once in a lifetime opportunity. Let me show you something rare,” his dark eyes sparkled, “something few have ever seen.”
She figured he referred to about a dozen swimsuit models, but who was she to count? A stab of jealousy struck low in her belly. Glancing outside and then back to Daegen, his determination tugged at her. She risked lowering her guard a little.
“You’re right. I’m scared,” she admitted.
A spark lit his face. “That’s the best part.”
“Really?” Don’t tell me you’re half human after all these years I’ve been seeing you as some kind of super hero in tailored clothes who also happened to occasionally sport a tie.
