by Radclyffe
Chapter Twenty-Three
“I really don’t want to go to Hyannis,” Allie pleaded. “Look, it isn’t even bleeding anymore. The x-rays are okay, right?”
Tory smiled indulgently as she wrapped Allie’s upper arm with a clean dressing. “You’ve had a little Demerol, sweetie. You’re not totally capable of making a rational decision right now.”
“Nobody has the time to cart me all the way up there. And believe me, the Demerol is totally busy working as a painkiller. I don’t feel high at all.”
“Are you hurting a lot?” Tory asked gently.
“I think I’m supposed to be tough and say it doesn’t hurt much,” Allie said with a shaky laugh. “But it really really hurts. Like, I don’t think I want to get shot again. Ever.”
Tory stroked her hair. “I hope you never do either.” She pulled over one of the stainless steel stools and sat down next to the stretcher. “I think you were very very lucky and the bullet went through your triceps and missed the bone and all the major arteries and nerves.”
Allie brightened. “Which means I can go home and I’ll be good as new in a few days, right?”
“Not exactly,” Tory said with another slight smile. “There are a lot of important structures in your upper arm, and you were bleeding heavily when you came in. There’s only so much I can do to evaluate what’s going on inside without actually opening up the wound and examining it internally.”
“Like an operation.”
“Exactly. But operations can damage tissue, and we don’t like to do them unless they’re absolutely necessary. How about we compromise.” Tory checked her watch. “You stay here for another four hours. If there’s no further bleeding and no change in your neuro exam—the feeling and movement in your hand—I’ll let you go home with someone who can watch you.”
“Okay. Yes. Perfect.” Allie started to sit up, but Tory pressed a hand against her shoulder.
“That means four hours of lying still, sleeping if you can,” Tory admonished.
“I need to talk to my mother. Let her know I’m all right.”
“I’ll get your cell phone.” Tory gestured to the hallway. “A lot of your friends are outside. I’ll let them know that you’re doing all right.”
“Thanks.”
“Allie, is there someone you want to see? You can have visitors back here, I just don’t want a crowd. You really do need to rest.”
Allie looked away for the first time. “Is Reese here?”
“She was, but she had to go back to the station to take care of the arrest procedure. I just called her a few minutes ago to let her know that you’re doing all right. She said she’ll be by later. Bri will be here too, as soon as she can.”
“That’s cool. That’s good.”
“Reese mentioned Ash is waiting outside, and she’s pretty worried about you.” Tory didn’t want anything to upset her patient right now, but she couldn’t keep things from her either. “Flynn has been asking for you too.”
“Flynn’s here?” Allie asked quickly.
“Mmm-hmm.”
“Will you ask her to come back?”
Tory nodded. “Of course. I’ll get her.”
*
Ash sat for a while after Flynn went inside, waiting for the strength to return to her legs and for the sharp, bright pain that lacerated her heart to lessen enough for her to walk away. Allie had asked for Flynn. She shouldn’t have expected anything different. Allie had told her, more than once, that she had a girlfriend and was happy with her. Flynn was decent and cared about Allie. That was easy to see. So Ash finally had her answer and she wasn’t really surprised. She hadn’t trusted Allie when it mattered, and nothing killed love faster than distrust. Her greatest regret was not telling Allie how much she loved her, and how very much she needed and wanted her. Ash grasped the handrail and pulled herself to her feet, feeling inconsequential in the still, dusty air. After taking a few shaky breaths, she walked down the stairs and across the parking lot to her vehicle. Her mind was sluggish, her movements hesitant and uncoordinated as she searched for her keys. The days and weeks of forgotten meals, late-night binges, and transitory hookups were finally catching up to her. She climbed behind the wheel and after a few tries, got her key in the ignition.
“Ash! Ash, wait!” Flynn jogged down the steps from the clinic and over to the car. She braced the vehicle door open with her arm. “She wants to see you.”
Ash shook her head. She was done. She didn’t have anything left, not even anger. “I’ll stop by and see her tomorrow. Tell her I said I hope she’s feeling better.”
Flynn leaned farther inside, blocking Ash from turning the wheel, and waited until Ash looked at her. Flynn’s eyes were oddly soft and tender. “Allie is hurt and she wants to see you. Forget the past, forget your pride. Do right by her.”
“Do right by her,” Ash whispered, gripping the steering wheel like it was the only thing keeping her tethered to the earth. Do right by her. What did that mean? She’d told herself she was doing right by Allie in refusing to tie her down, to box her in, to limit her choices. She’d thought she was making a sacrifice, being noble. But she hadn’t done it for Allie, she’d done it for herself. Do right by her. She looked at Flynn, desperately needing guidance. “How?”
Flynn’s voice was gentle, filled with compassion, and unexpectedly encouraging. “I think you’ve already figured that out. Now let her know.”
Ash wasn’t so sure, but she slid out from behind the wheel and closed the door. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome,” Flynn said.
Ash started toward the building, then looked back. “You coming in?”
“In a few minutes,” Flynn said. “You go ahead.”
Ash waited, but Flynn walked over to the EMT van, sat down on the wide rear step, and closed her eyes. When Ash entered the clinic, Tory was talking on the phone behind the high counter in the reception area.
“Allie asked to see me,” Ash said.
Tory gestured to the hallway behind her. “Treatment room two. She’s tired. Don’t stay too long.”
“Is she all right?” Ash asked.
“She’s stable, but she really needs to rest.”
“Okay. Thanks.” Ash hurried down the hall, then hesitated in front of the door. Do right by her. She knocked and stepped into the room. The head of the stretcher had been propped up to forty-five degrees, and Allie lay covered by a sheet, her shoulders bare, her eyes closed. She was very pale. Her skin, framed by her dark hair, was nearly translucent. She appeared fragile and ethereal, and Ash’s heart twisted at the thought of how very close she had come to losing her. Right at that moment, all that mattered to her was that Allie was safe. The world without her would be a far darker place. Crossing as quietly as she could, Ash stopped by the side of the stretcher and clasped Allie’s hand. She leaned forward to kiss Allie’s forehead and stopped when Allie’s eyes flickered open. Her deep brown eyes were slightly unfocused, but still endlessly beautiful.
“I didn’t mean to wake you,” Ash whispered.
“Hi, baby,” Allie murmured. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
“Close your eyes again.” Ash brushed her lips over Allie’s cheek. “Tory wants you to rest.”
“She said I can go home soon.”
Ash wasn’t so certain that was a good idea, but she wasn’t going to argue. “That’s good. How are you feeling?”
“Loopy. Arm hurts.” Allie slipped her hand from Ash’s grasp and rested her palm against Ash’s cheek. “I think I’m still mad at you.”
“That’s all right. I don’t blame you.” Ash’s throat was so tight she could barely talk. She wanted to climb onto the stretcher and pull Allie into her arms. She wanted the bullet to have pierced her flesh, not Allie’s. She wanted to erase the pain she’d seen in Allie’s eyes that morning, the pain she’d put there. She wanted to go back and do everything over again, but she knew she couldn’t. Sometimes there were no second chances. “Do you need anyth
ing?”
“I do,” Allie whispered, clearly starting to drift. Her fingers fluttered against Ash’s cheek and then her hand fell away, leaving Ash bereft. “I need…”
Ash swallowed her pride, buried her pain. “Do you want me to get Flynn?”
Allie’s eyes opened wider, and a small frown formed between her brows. “I can’t tell what it means when you look at me like that—with your eyes so shadowy and dark. Tell me.”
“I feel…” Ash lost her voice and struggled to contain the tears that suddenly flooded her eyes. She turned her head and wiped her face quickly against her shirtsleeve. She lifted Allie’s hand and kissed the back of her fingers. “I look at you and I want to laugh out loud I’m so happy you’re part of my life. I look at you and I’m excited to be alive. I want to rush forward into a day, into a lifetime, filled with possibility. I look at you and I feel like I could do anything.” She leaned down and kissed Allie gently. “I feel so damn lucky to have ever touched you, to have ever been touched by you. I cherish every second we shared. If I could have one wish, I’d wish to be with you forever. I love you. I love you so much.”
“You know what I wish?”
“What, babe?” Ash asked, no longer trying to stem the tears that streaked her cheeks.
“I wish you would take me home and hold me tonight. And that in the morning you wouldn’t say good-bye.”
“I can do that,” Ash whispered.
“Every night?”
“Every single one.”
“I wanted to stop loving you,” Allie murmured, “but I couldn’t.”
“Neither could I.” Ash settled onto the stool, leaned her forehead against Allie’s shoulder, and slipped her arm gently around Allie’s waist. “And I never will.”
“I told Flynn I couldn’t date her anymore.”
“You did?”
“Mmm-hmm.” Allie played her fingers through Ash’s hair.
“How come?”
“’Cause I really like her and my heart isn’t available.” Allie pulled on Ash’s hair until Ash looked up. “I was so mad at you this morning—you were such an ass, deciding what I needed and what I would do. All on your own.”
“I know.”
“But after you left I thought about all the other things you said—about falling for me, and being scared. You never said those things to me before.” Allie’s eyes turned liquid. “I knew then you really loved me. And I still loved you.”
“I do.” Ash’s heart did a slow roll. She was almost afraid to be so happy. Almost. “What did Flynn say?”
“She didn’t seem surprised,” Allie said softly. “I think she was maybe a little sad, but she won’t be alone long. She’s…um…”
“Pretty special,” Ash said.
“Yeah. Gorgeous too.”
Ash laughed. “Not my type.”
Allie scowled. “You don’t have a type anymore, remember?”
“Oh, I remember.” Ash kissed Allie’s cheek. “I love you.”
“You said that already.”
“Can I say it again?”
Allie nodded. “As much as you want.”
“I want you a lot,” Ash whispered.
“That’s good. ’Cause you have a lot of lost time to make up for.”
Ash smiled, listening to Allie’s breathing grow softer and slower as she finally gave in to exhaustion and slept. Ash was content just to sit by her bedside. She couldn’t go back, she couldn’t undo the mistakes she’d made and the pain she’d caused. But she was home in Allie’s arms again, and she’d do right by her this time. She’d love her the very best way she could.
*
No police cars. No foot patrol. No one watching at all. He stepped confidently onto the flagstone walkway and walked purposefully, but unhurriedly, to the door. He knocked and heard the familiar voice call “just a minute.” Stepping carefully to one side so that his face wouldn’t be visible to anyone looking out through the window in the upper portion of the door, he drew the knife from his pocket and flipped it open. He had a fifty-fifty chance that she would open the door without asking him to identify himself. Somehow, people were far less cautious in the middle of a bright sunny afternoon. They often opened the door without thinking, especially when they weren’t expecting any kind of trouble. And after all, why should she be afraid? She had no idea what was coming. He wasn’t disappointed. The door opened a few inches, she said, “yes?” and before she could react to his face, it was already too late.
She had a gun, but she had barely begun to raise it when he pushed the door wide, forced his way into the room, and buried the knife to the hilt between her breasts. Her eyes widened in shock and surprise, and as her deliciously warm blood cascaded over his hand, he smiled and whispered hello.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Carter pulled the cruiser off the road onto the shoulder and radioed her location. She sat for a minute letting the warm afternoon breeze wash away some of the tension of the last few hours. When she’d realized how close Everly was to her house, to Rica, she’d had to exert every bit of her willpower to stay out on the street and do her job when what she wanted was to be by Rica’s side, protecting her. As it turned out, Rica had never been a target. Feeling the dread lift from her shoulders, she stretched and got out of the cruiser, leaving the windows down to capture the last bit of afternoon heat in the stale interior. The radio chattered at her back as she walked up the path.
As she drew closer, she saw the door ajar. In an instant, her brief interlude of comfort was shattered and alarm bells rang. She jogged forward, her hand on the grip of her weapon. When she reached the door, she pushed it open carefully, squinting into the gloom. For half a second, her mind refused to register the sight of the body on the floor, and she stood frozen with the sun on her back and hell at her feet.
“Oh Jesus.” Carter pulled her weapon and quickly scanned the room. No movement, no sound. She shouted into her shoulder mic, “Code eight. Officer down. Officer down.”
Then she dropped to her knees and pressed both hands over the red fountain that pumped and splashed into the widening pool on the floor.
“Hold on, hold on,” Carter extolled desperately. How could there be so much blood on the floor and still so much gushing out? She heard a moan and looked up into terrified eyes. Bloodless lips, so pale they verged on blue, formed words she couldn’t hear. She leaned down closer, never taking her eyes away from those dark wounded ones. “I’m here. I’m right here.”
“…n…go.”
“No, no, I won’t,” Carter half shouted, hearing the fear in her voice and trying to contain it. “I won’t leave. Stay with me. I’m right here. I’m not leaving you, so you stay here. You hear me, Allen? Marilyn, goddamn it. You stay here.”
Carter’s hands were sticky with blood and it kept coming. But not as fast now. She didn’t know if that was good or not. Jesus, God, where were the medics? Her arms shook, her vision dimmed, and sweat burned her eyes. Please, someone, please.
Sirens. Footsteps. Shouts. She couldn’t move. If she moved, the fountain would gush again. She had to hold it in. Had to.
“Officer,” Flynn shouted in her ear. “We’ve got her. Move. Let us take care of her.”
An arm gripped her shoulder, pulled her back, and she lurched to her feet. Her legs were wooden, numb, and she stumbled, falling.
“Carter!” Bri grabbed her around the waist. “Carter, you hurt?”
“No,” Carter gasped.
“Okay. We’ve got this. Come outside.”
Carter blinked, trying to focus on Bri’s face. “I can’t. I told her I would stay.”
“It’s okay. We won’t go far.”
“I didn’t clear the other rooms…I forgot…” Carter raised her hand to wipe the sweat from her face and Bri grabbed her arm, preventing her. Carter stared at a hand she didn’t recognize, covered in blood. Her hand. “Oh Jesus, Bri.”
Bri half dragged Carter over to a low stone wall and pushed her down onto it. “Sta
y here. Catch your breath. I need to check with Reese. I’ll be right back.”
“Okay.” Carter nodded, still stunned. No amount of training could prepare someone for the sight of a fellow officer down in the line. If only she hadn’t taken that extra minute to let the breeze play over her face and chase some of her ghosts away. Now she’d have new nightmares to take their place.
*
The phone on Tory’s desk rang and for half a second, she contemplated not answering it. She didn’t want to hear about one more problem. Nita had come in early for her evening shift and together they had managed to clear most of the patients who had gotten backed up when Tory had been diverted by Allie’s arrival. Now there was actually a chance that she would be able to get home in time to feed Reggie dinner and give her a bath. She couldn’t think of a single thing she wanted to do more than that. The harsh shrill of the phone’s insistent ringing interrupted her reverie, and with a sigh, she picked it up.
“This is Dr. King,” Tory said.
“This is Flynn, Dr. King. We’ve got a stab wound to the chest in full arrest. ETA four minutes.”
Tory straightened. “What’s the situation?”
“Female, approximately thirty-five years old. No pulse, no BP. Massive blood loss. We intubated in the field and started CPR.”
Tory could hear the siren now. “Bring her straight back. We’ll be ready.” Her fatigue dropped away as she stood and hurried into the hall. She rapped on the closed door where Nita was seeing a patient and pushed it open a few inches. “Nita, I’m sorry, I need you. An emergency coming in.”
Nita’s expression echoed what Tory was feeling. Déjà vu. Madness in the air. Tory let the door close and pivoted toward the last empty treatment room. Allie was still under observation in the other one. The double doors at the end of the hall opened and a tall, dark-haired woman in jeans, boots, and a blue blazer covering a navy scrub shirt walked through.
