"Your impatience makes this even more fun."
"Silas," I beg.
He reaches behind my neck and unties my bikini. It falls forward, exposing my breasts, which he quickly devours with his mouth, first one, then the other. He undoes the strings behind my back and tosses my top aside. Then he kisses his way down my belly to my navel ring, circling his tongue around it as his hand moves up and down my inner thigh.
I'm moaning, gripping his hair, the sheet, anything I can get my hands on. The tension coiling inside me is killing me but I refuse to beg again for relief. Instead I get even. I slide my hand down to his boxers and touch him, in the way I know he likes.
"Shit," he groans, squeezing his eyes shut.
I smile. "Want to speed things along now?"
"You win." He rips free the ties on my bikini bottom and yanks it off. His body covers mine and he sinks into me, slowly, inch by inch.
"Oh, God," I breathe out, grasping his back as sensations ignite like fireworks inside me, reaching all the way down to my toes.
His hips move at a languid pace, positioned to hit all my sensitive spots, the ones he knows will get me there every time. He kisses me, his tongue tangling with mine in a slow sensual dance that matches the rhythm of his grinding hips.
He keeps going, until finally I'm relieved of the tension as it unwinds its hold on me in wave after wave of pleasure. I hear Silas groan, his body tensing up then shuddering with its release.
That was freaking amazing. Even if I didn't love Silas, the sex alone would be enough reason to spend the rest of my life with him. I'm joking, of course, but I bet other girls would be with him just for that. I'm lucky that I get both; a guy I love who's also great in bed.
He remains over me, catching his breath.
"That was awesome." I smile.
He smiles back. "Yeah, it was."
"Aren't you glad we hurried up and got straight to the action?"
"Yeah." He kisses me. "But next time, I'm slowing it down. I've got to teach you how to be patient."
"I know how to speed you up."
"I'll tie your hands up so you can't."
"That sounds fun."
He watches me a moment to see if I'm kidding. I'm not. I'd try most anything with Silas. I trust him completely, more than anyone else.
"You're trouble," he says, kissing a ticklish spot on my neck.
"Stop!" I yell, laughing.
He shifts onto his back and I sit up and straddle him. He reaches up and strokes my hair, then runs the back of his hand along my cheek. "I love you."
I smile. "I love you too."
"Come here."
I lower my body over his chest, and he wraps his arms over me and kisses my head.
"Silas?"
"Yeah." He strokes my hair.
"Please don't leave again."
"Willow, you're the one who's leaving, not me."
"I'm just going to college. I'm talking about you, going overseas again. Even if this...if this doesn't work out...don't go over there again. It's too far away and it's too dangerous. I worried about you constantly when you were there."
"You did?"
"I didn't know where you were and I kept having dreams of you getting hurt and nobody ever knowing what happened and...just please don't go there again."
"I won't. I'm staying here with you."
"But what about in the fall? What are we going to do when I go back to school?"
He kisses my head again. "Let's not think about that right now. We can talk about it later."
Silas doesn't worry about the future, but I do, and uncertainty about the future is one of my greatest fears. I'm not even sure why. It's not like my parents are that way. They don't plan for anything, not even the future of their business. And it seems to work for them. The farm is doing well and they always seem to have plenty of money, even enough to send me to a very expensive college.
I push off his chest. "I'm starving. Let's get something to eat."
"Like go out? There's nothing open at two in the morning."
"Then we'll eat here."
"What are we going to eat? Kale chips and yogurt?"
I laugh. "We might have some other stuff. Let's go check." I get out of bed and grab his t-shirt and slip it on. I love wearing his t-shirts. They're really soft and they smell like him.
"I'm keeping this," I tell him as he puts his jeans on.
"You're going to start doing that again?" He says that because I used to always steal his t-shirts. "I don't have that many shirts, Willow."
"Then you'll just have to walk around shirtless." I plaster my hands against his muscular chest and smile at him. "I wouldn't mind that."
He chuckles. "I wouldn't mind if you walked around shirtless too."
"Nice try, but I'm keeping it on." I take his hand. "Come on. Let's find some food."
We go in the kitchen and I search the cupboards while Silas looks in the fridge.
"Soy milk, soy yogurt, tofu and some kind of unidentifiable leftover," he says, holding up a glass jar. My parents won't use plastic containers so everything goes in canning jars.
"That's it?" I ask.
"Pretty much. Did you find anything?"
I hold up a bag of kale chips. "Your favorite."
"Yeah, you can have those. What else is there?"
"Just a couple boxes of cereal, some bread, and a jar of almond butter." I shut the cupboard door. "My parents need to go shopping. It's been like this since I got back. We never have any food. With my mom's new job, she hasn't had time to go to the store. I told her I'd go, but we never have any money in the cash jar." I go over and check it. "There's still no money in here. Isn't that weird?"
"Your dad probably just forgot to fill it." Silas rushes out the words.
"Why are you talking so fast?"
"I'm not." He points to the kitchen island. "Check the drawer. Sometimes your mom puts granola bars in there."
I open the drawer but it's empty. I go over and stand in front of Silas. "You don't think my parents are having money problems, do you?"
"How would I know?" He opens the fridge again.
"I thought you just looked in there."
"I did, but maybe I missed something."
"So I guess we're not going to eat." I lean back against the counter. "Maybe you could sneak in your house and steal some junk food from your stash."
"My mom's a light sleeper. She'd hear me come in and think I'm a burglar and probably knock me in the head with a baseball bat."
"So she knows you're staying here tonight?"
"I texted her right after you feel asleep."
"Did you tell her we're back together?"
"No. Because when I texted her, I didn't know we were."
"Do you think she'll be happy?"
He places his hands on the counter on each side of me, blocking me in. "You know she will. She loves you." He smiles. "She'll probably make you another sweater."
I laugh. "Oh, God, I hope not. If she does, I'm going to tell her to make you a matching one."
"I don't wear sweaters. She knows that."
"Apparently you don't wear t-shirts either." I run my fingers down his chest.
He leans in and presses his lips to mine. "Not when my girlfriend steals them."
"I like it when you call me your girlfriend."
"You also like it when I do this." His hand slides up my inner thigh, landing between my legs.
"Silas," I whisper, my eyes shutting as I sink back against the counter.
His mouth covers mine for a slow, deep kiss. My hands go to his jeans and I undo his belt and yank at his zipper.
"I think it's time to try out that soap," he says.
I grin. "I think you're right."
He scoops me up and throws me over his shoulder, all caveman-like, and it makes me laugh. We go back in my room and straight to the shower, totally forgetting about the soap. The soap was just an excuse anyway. Not that we needed one. At this point, we'll do it an
ywhere, anytime. It's been two years and we're starved for each other, our bodies craving it, wanting it, desperate for it.
"Holy shit," Silas says, breathing hard after the best shower sex we've ever had.
"I know, right?" I tip my head back against the tile, trying to catch my breath.
"We're definitely doing that again."
"We can't do it when my parents are home."
"Then we need to get them out of the house because that was..." He takes a deep breath.
"Are you speechless?" I laugh.
"I guess I am." He kisses me.
"I'm still starving."
He thinks for a moment. "You know what?"
"What?"
"I think I have a stash of food in my truck. Like some candy bars and chips. I might even have some soda."
"Why is it in your truck?"
He grins. "Because there's this girl who comes to the farm and brings me lunch but I'm always still hungry so I have to bring extra food."
"Why don't you just tell this girl to stop bringing you lunch?"
"Because her bringing me lunch is the best part of my day. I look forward to it all morning."
"You do?"
"Yeah, but she doesn't have to bring me lunch. Just her stopping by would make my day. I just like seeing her."
"You're going to be seeing her a lot more because it's berry season and I heard she's the only one who will pick the berries."
"Then work just got a hell of a lot better." He shuts the water off. "Let's go."
"Where are we going?"
He hands me a towel. "We're driving out to the farm and we're going to eat candy bars and look at the stars."
"And then what?"
He kisses me. "Then we're going to set off some fireworks."
"We're not going to sleep tonight, are we?"
"Did you want to?"
"No. I had that nap earlier. I'm not even tired."
It's after three in the morning when we get to the farm. I brought some blankets because it's chilly at night. I also brought some pillows because laying your head on a truck bed isn't very comfortable. It has a liner but it still hurts your head to lie directly on it.
Silas sits down on my makeshift bed, holding two grocery sacks. "This is way better than last time."
"You didn't like last time?"
He drops the grocery sacks and lies over me. "I loved last time. I just worried about you not being comfortable."
"I wasn't at first, but then I forgot all about it." I lift his shirt up. For some reason he put it on again. I changed into shorts and the sleeveless plaid shirt he thinks makes me look like a cowgirl.
He yanks his shirt off and my hands immediately go to his chest. I love touching him, knowing he's all mine.
He kisses me, pulling my lower lip between his and gently tugging, then releasing it and slipping his tongue in my mouth. He undoes the top button of my shirt, then the next one. His lips move to my now exposed chest as he finishes undoing the last few buttons. His warm hand slides under the fabric and he grips my waist as his mouth lowers to my stomach, his tongue swirling around my navel ring, igniting a swell of sensations just below it.
I grip his hair, arching up.
"You like that?" he asks.
"Yes." I breathe out the word.
His mouth returns to mine as he unbuttons my shorts. I feel his lips smile against mine as his hand slides under my panties. "You're ready to go again."
"It's your fault."
He laughs a little. "You said you were starving. Maybe we should eat first."
"I'd rather have you first."
"I was hoping you'd say that." He quickly undoes his jeans while I rip off my shirt and bra. We just did this at my house and yet here we are, in a frantic rush to get naked so we can do it again.
The sex is fast. Hard and fast and...
"Oh, God, yes!" I yell as the pleasure explodes through every inch of my body. Silas is gripping my hips, pounding into me and then I hear his sexy groan as he gets his release.
His hips still and he kisses my neck, then my mouth. He breathes heavy over my lips. "I love you."
"I love you too." I kiss him, then rest my head back on the pillow, feeling lost in a blissful state of happiness. I wish I could just stay here forever. Here with Silas. Under the stars. Happy.
Why did I ever let him go? Why did I think I could live without him? I made a plan for my life, and it sounds good on paper, but truthfully, this is the life I want.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Silas
If Willow and I keep this up, she's going to be sore later. But I don't think she cares. Right now, we can't get enough of each other. We're officially together again and now it's time to reunite. In the bed. The shower. My truck.
Sex with Willow is addictive. There's something about us. The way we fit together. The way we connect. The way we practically read each others' mind. It all comes together for mind-blowing sex that makes you want to do it again and again.
I want this night to go on forever. Just the two of us with nobody around. No talk of the future. No worrying about her parents and the farm.
When Willow asked me if I thought her parents were having money problems I almost told her the truth. I can't do this anymore. I can't keep this secret. It's not fair to her. If it were my parents and she knew they were in trouble and didn't tell me, I'd be pissed.
But I can't tell her. Not yet. I need to at least talk to her parents first and let them know I'm done lying to her. This has gone on long enough. They can't keep this from her all summer.
"Want some?" Willow holds up her candy bar. We're lying under the blankets on the pile of sleeping bags she laid out on the bed of the truck. I've got her wrapped in my arms, exactly where I want her, skin to skin, our warm, naked bodies intertwined.
I take a bite. "I think I got some caramel on me. Can you help me out?"
She reaches up and kisses it off. "You want some more?"
"Yeah, I'll take some more." My hands are on her hips and I lift her closer to me and kiss her, tasting her warm chocolatey mouth.
"That's not what I meant," she says, smiling. "I was going to—"
I taste her again, not letting her finish. We did it less than an hour ago but I'm ready for another round. But we should probably wait so I force myself away from her lips.
Willow looks at me. "Why'd you stop?"
"I thought you'd want a break, but if you don't then..." I kiss her again.
She pushes me back and climbs over me, straddling me. "You're probably right. We should take a break." She takes me in her hand, positioning me.
I smile at her. "This doesn't seem like a break."
"I changed my mind." She lowers herself onto me and we do it again.
And then we take a break. Willow returns to her place under my arm and we gaze up at the sky.
"I love being here," she says.
"I've always loved it here."
"It's so quiet. So dark. The stars look so much brighter out here. Remember when we'd lay in your back yard and look at the stars? You'd always make them into animals or people or scenes. I never knew what you were talking about."
"My mind naturally sees shapes and patterns and turns them into things. I get that from my mom. She's the same way."
"I love that about you. The way you're so creative and can imagine all these different things that other people can't see. I can't do that. If I don't have a clear picture of something, it doesn't make sense to me."
"Like your future."
"What?"
"Your future. If you don't have a clear picture of what it's going to be, you can't make sense of it. And you're someone who has to make sense of things. You're very logical. I'm not."
She pauses. "I never thought about it that way. I mean, relating it to how I see things, like the stars or abstract art."
"Yeah, you hate abstract art. When we went to that modern art exhibit with your parents, you couldn't get out of there fast enough
."
"Because I couldn't understand how people could consider that art."
"It is. You just can't see it."
"I can see paint splattered on canvas. But what's that supposed to be? It doesn't make any sense."
"It doesn't have to. Art is whatever you make it. There's no right or wrong answer. You just look at it and let your mind explore what it could be."
"I can't do that. I look at it and it just looks like paint splatters."
"You just need to practice." I point at the sky. "What do see in the stars right above us?"
She takes a moment, then says, "I see four really bright stars and seven tiny ones."
"You're using logic again. Counting instead of seeing."
"What do you see?"
I pause, letting my mind play with the bright dots until an image is formed. I chuckle. "That's funny."
"What? What do you see?"
"Us." I point to it. "The four big stars look like the truck bed and the four smaller stars lined up look like me, because I'm taller, and the three smaller ones are you. See how close together they are?" I motion to us. "It's you and me lying next to each other in the truck."
She nudges my side. "You're crazy."
"Willow, I'm serious. Don't count them. Just look at them and think about what I said."
I wait as she gazes up at the sky. After a while, I say, "I guess you can't see it."
"No, wait. I'm actually starting to see it. And you're right. It does look like us. Except where's the rest of the truck?"
"It doesn't have to be a complete picture." I kiss her cheek. "You need to keep that logical side of yours turned off."
"That's impossible."
"At least you could see something up there. That's a start."
She flips on her side to face me. "You should be an artist."
"Why an artist?"
"Because you're creative and you can make things. Look how fast your jewelry sells out."
"I don't want to spend my life making bracelets and charms."
"But you also paint. And sculpt."
"I used to, but I don't anymore. That was just a hobby."
"Why are you studying business?"
"Because business is something you can use for a lot of different jobs."
"But you hate it."
"I don't hate it. I just don't like accounting. But it doesn't matter because I'm not planning on being an accountant."
Still Love You Page 19
