by Rose, Willow
It came so unexpectedly I almost dropped my fork. “I like windsurfing,” I virtually whispered in the horrifying silence surrounding me. Sitting across from me at the table, Heather was smiling like she enjoyed seeing me all perplex and shy.
“What is he saying?” the doctor asked Mrs. Kirk, sounding irritated. “He does speak English, right?”
“He does,” she answered with grace.
The doctor hit his fist in the table and made me jump. Mrs. Kirk and Heather both remained calm and hardly reacted. They were so used to the doctor’s tantrums and outbursts that nothing surprised them any longer.
“Well speak up for yourself, boy. You won’t get far in life if you don’t learn to speak up when asked a question,” he said with a big fierce voice that made me crumble in my seat.
“Windsurfing,” I said with slightly more confidence. “I used to windsurf.”
A small smile spread on the doctor’s face. “Very well, then. I will make sure that you will have a brand new windsurfer waiting for you tomorrow at the dock.”
My eyes became big and wide. I couldn’t believe what he was saying.
“A man should do his sports,” the doctor continued. “It keeps him young, healthy and sane. Women will drive you crazy, so you’ll need something to keep you from losing it. Trust me on that.”
“I will. Thank you,” I said.
The doctor drank of his sparkling water and swallowed loudly before he put the glass back on the table. “And then we need to get you some wheels.”
I felt like I was in a movie and had to pinch myself in the arm to make sure I wasn’t asleep. Did he mean he was going to give me a car? I could hardly believe it. In Denmark you didn’t get your driver’s license until you were eighteen and since there were enormous taxes on cars, they were so expensive that young people couldn’t afford them until they were in their mid-twenties or beginning of their thirties. Most of the time people had to take loans in the bank to afford a car. Only extremely rich people gave their kids cars. “You … you’re giving me a car?” I stuttered.
Heather was still smiling while she ate. Whether it was me or my stuttering she found amusing, I never knew.
“Wasn’t that what I just said? Do you have problems hearing? Yes, son. You need some wheels. How else are you going to go to Jacksonville every day?”
I hadn’t thought about that yet. I guess I figured I was going to take a train or a bus or something, like most people did where I came from. I really didn’t know anything about how things worked in the States.
“Well, thank you very much, sir.”
“You’re welcome. I promised your dad I would take good care of you. I never had a son of my own, so here is my chance to see what it is like.”
I was surprised at this statement coming from him. Speechless, even. It was amazing to me to realize that behind his tough exterior he seemed to be much gentler than I had given him credit for. I was expecting to meet a great man and that was exactly what I had done.
Chapter 4
After dinner we drove back to the mansion to change cars and get my guitar. The little girl in front of the house on the corner was no longer there I concluded with great satisfaction. I went a step further and decided that she probably never had been there at all. It had just been an illusion caused by my jet lag. I was getting tired. No wonder, I thought to myself. It was almost morning in Denmark now and I had been awake for nearly twenty-four hours. But Heather was insisting on dragging me to meet her friends and I felt that there was no way I could escape it. She had that gift. It was impossible to say no to her.
Soon I found myself in her open red Jeep, which I later learned was only one of her many cars. The wind still felt incredibly warm on my face even that late in the evening and I started wondering if it ever got cold in these parts. I loved the feeling in my hair and face and couldn’t wait to get me some wheels of my own as Dr. Kirk had called it. I could only hope it would be some sort of convertible so I could ride it with the top down and get wind in my hair like this. It was extraordinary, and for a few seconds I felt really happy. This new life, this new world that had been generously opened up to me had turned out to be a gift. For the first time since my mother died, I felt like I was born under that lucky star again, like so many people had said to me when I was a child. It was like the universe was making up for all my years of sorrow and grief. I welcomed this gift. I felt I deserved it. For a moment I felt invincible, like nothing could ever hurt me again. Like the hard part in my life was over and it was time for me to enjoy myself again. I released a sigh of relief as we drove north towards The Twelve Mile Swamps. Little did I know that the hard part had only just begun. Little could I have known that this was where I was supposed to meet my destiny in shape of a savage beast.
The Twelve Mile Swamps was, as the name implies, a collection of swamps connected by a trail and planted pine forest. It was open for public hunting season where people could go in and shoot the white-tailed deer, foxes, and alligators or catch a snake. The entrance was closed at night, but that didn’t seem to stop Heather and her friends that had already arrived once we got there. Two guys and two girls sat in a big expensive-looking truck. They jumped out of their car when they saw us coming.
“I want you to meet Chris,” Heather said as she stepped out of the jeep that was now muddy and sandy from driving on the bumpy road there. I grabbed my guitar and followed her.
“Chris this is Regina, Jim, Danielle and Mike.”
“Hi Chris,” the girls said with flirting smiles while the guys just nodded with a “How’re you doing?” All of them had that upper-class slightly snobbish appearance that also surrounded Heather. The boys wore polo shirts and plaid shorts making them look like they had just left a British boarding school, while the girls had put on small dresses like Heather. Regina was the only one of them wearing stonewashed jeans like me.
“Chris is the one I told you about. The guy from Denmark who is going to live with us for the next year while he is in med school in Jacksonville.”
“Like that German girl Elke that was here a couple of years ago?” Mike asked.
“She was really something,” Jim said, signaling big breasts with his hands in front of his chest.
“Wasn’t she the one who got arrested for sunbathing topless in your parent’s yard?” Danielle asked while we started walking towards the entrance of the trail.
It was pitch-dark ahead into the forest of pine-trees and Jim lit a big flashlight that illuminated the trail and trees ahead of us. A barrier indicated the area was closed, but Heather and her friends just climbed under it and kept going. I felt a pinch in my stomach as I followed them. Something inside of me was telling me this was a bad idea, but I didn’t listen. I had come to Florida for adventure and now I was getting it.
“Yeah, my parents did not see that coming,” Heather said while the others laughed. “Apparently, that’s normal in Europe.”
“I hear they are all topless at the beach over there,” Jim said with a goofy grin.
“Is that right, Chris?” Regina asked. “Are the girls really topless at the beach?”
I nodded. They all looked at me like they wanted me to elaborate. Heather put her arm on my shoulder.
“You’ll have to excuse Chris. He doesn’t talk much,” Heather said. “He is an artist. He plays the guitar.”
I felt a look from Jim walking next to her and immediately sensed that he disliked me. I guessed he was into Heather and I was in his way. He was clenching the flashlight in his hand like he was trying to crush it. He was almost as tall as me, his face was aristocratic with high cheek-bones and short dark brown hair that looked like Clark Kent’s in the Superman movies.
“He looks like a wild person with that hair,” Jim said. “Is that a European thing too or is he just a faggot?”
“Jim!” Heather said. “He understands everything.”
“I thought you said he didn’t speak English.”
“I said he doesn�
�t talk much. He understands everything. He is just a quiet type. A sensitive artist. Something you wouldn’t know about.”
“Still a faggot in my book,” Jim continued. “He might even have the plague. Have you asked him about that? The Gay Plague? Has he been tested for that?”
“Stop it, Jim.” Heather snorted and that made Jim stop talking immediately.
I was happy she got him to shut up. I felt like a child when my parents would discuss me even though I was still there. It made me quite uncomfortable. I didn’t mind the gay part. I had heard that so often it was getting old. Mostly from elder people, though, but prejudice doesn’t have an age.
“So you are an artist trying to become a doctor?” Mike said. “That’s a first.”
I shrugged. “It’s in the family. My dad is a doctor, as well. He wants me to follow in his footsteps. I play the guitar for fun. Like a hobby.”
“It talks!” Jim said with a laugh. “And even in entire sentences.”
I ignored his remark while it got a lot darker the deeper we went into the forest. As a city boy I wasn’t that familiar with the sounds of nature so the longer we walked the more uncomfortable I felt. The forest was alive around us. Every step we took I heard the crackling flight of other living things that fled from us. It felt as if there were eyes in every tree and bush we passed and I knew that on each side of the trail there was nothing but swamps where all kinds of animals lived and hunted at night. The loud sound of tree frogs reminded me constantly of the swamp’s presence.
We stopped close to the river that went through the entire area. Danielle had brought a blanket and put it on the ground for us to sit on. Her backpack also contained a couple of wine coolers for the girls while Jim had brought beers for the guys. He threw me one and I grabbed it. Drinking it made my muscles relax and my unease go away but also left me massively dizzy. The combination of jet lag and alcohol wasn’t sustainable, I soon realized.
When Jim pulled out the joint I no longer had any resistance left in me to say no. I wanted to get drunk. I wanted to get high. I was sick and tired of being the quiet pretty boy. I wanted another image, I wanted to be different “over-there” and I knew if I got high I would start talking. That was the effect smoking had on me in the past. I was even sometimes funny when I was high. So when it was my turn, I accepted the joint and started inhaling it like a man desperate for nicotine. I kept going until I was so dizzy I could hardly take it. When I passed it on to Mike I had to lie down, so I did. The stars above us were dancing in a spectacular show that seemed to be for my eyes only. It looked like beautiful women circling and dancing to slow music, trying to lure me into their arms. I felt good. I felt relaxed and happy. Everything was going to be great here. I just knew it.
“So are you going to play for us on that thing or what?” Danielle asked. She and Mike were in each other’s arms. I raised my head and looked at them. I felt a smile on my face. I had no idea where it came from. Then I grabbed my guitar and sat with it in my lap. How I loved this instrument that had brought me through so many sleepless nights of thinking about my mother. How I adored the woman that had held it between her soft hands before I did.
“Don’t be sad, Chris,” Heather said, stroking my hand gently.
I looked into her spectacular green eyes in the light from the flashlight. Her cheeks were blushing from the wine. Then I leaned over and kissed her cheek carefully. She was startled, I could tell, but she didn’t dislike it. Then she laughed and so did I. We laughed the laughter of a high person or a mad man—the kind of laughter that doesn’t stop and has no cause or trigger other than maybe a funny word or a look from someone.
“I don’t even think he knows how to play that thing,” Jim muttered and caused us to laugh even harder. Mike and Danielle sensed nothing since they were all tangled in each other’s kisses and had only eyes for one another.
Once the laughter had worn off I finally managed to start playing. Tears were still rolling down my cheeks as my fingers danced on the strings. Notes floated out of my mouth like water from a fountain and my music temporarily drowned the many sounds of the surrounding forest and swamp. Regina and Heather looked at me with their heads slightly tilted, smiles on their faces while Jim had turned his back on me. He obviously hadn’t expected me to actually be able to play. I sang one of my own songs and received a huge applause from the girls once I was done. Even Mike and Danielle had stopped to listen to me sing and applauded me afterwards. My music did that to people, I have been told on several occasions. It touched their hearts.
The only one whose heart seemed unwinnable was Jim. As the rest of them encouraged me to keep playing another song, Jim got up and started walking towards the river with his beer in his hand.
“Come on Chris, just one more,” Heather said.
I shook my head and put the guitar down. I saw Jim empty his bottle and throw it in the water.
“What’s the deal with you two?” I asked Heather.
“We dated for awhile, but it was nothing. Really.”
“That doesn’t look like nothing to me,” I said and looked in Jim’s direction. “I don’t want to come in between something here.”
She smiled and stroked my hand again. Then she leaned over and kissed my cheek as gently as I had hers. “Don’t worry about it,” she said. “He is not important.”
I looked into her eyes and felt indecisive. Heather was beautiful and I was certainly attracted to her. But she was also the daughter of the people with whom I lived, who had taken me in and were taking care of me. If I broke her heart I would ruin everything. If I let this go any further I knew I would be in over my head. On the other hand I was certain that she would soon grow tired of me. Right now I was the new and interesting guy, the sensitive European Pretty Boy as she called me. But that wouldn’t last long. I figured she would grow tired of me very quickly once she realized that I was a pretty normal guy and even boring at times. I knew her type well. Heather was the kind of girl that owned things and threw them away once she was tired of playing with them. I was nothing but a new toy.
Heather grabbed my hand and held on to it as Jim came back with a defeated look on his face. Then he sat down next to Regina while I let the joint and alcohol that was rushing in my veins like a river, take over my decision making. I leaned over and grabbed her neck and pulled her closer. I put my lips on Heather’s feeling her soft breast press against my arm. She didn’t turn away. Her lips were so incredibly tender and I felt a passion spark in me.
We kissed like we didn’t have a care in the world.
Chapter 5
Suddenly I felt Heather’s hand on my chest gently pushing me away. She got up on her feet and pulled my hand to have me follow her. She led me towards the river.
“It’s a full moon tonight,” she whispered and pointed at the moon that was now right above the river. The bright light was reflected in the water and lit up Heather’s face as we went closer to the river bank. She started undressing herself.
“Come on,” she said as she ran towards the dark water. “Let’s be naked like the Europeans and get in!”
I removed my clothes and followed her into the cold water that sprang from the center of the earth in a spring somewhere further north and therefore had the same temperature all year around. “Are there any animals in this water?” I asked as she carefully took me by the hand and led me in.
“There might be manatees,” she said with a shrug.
“What about alligators?" I asked and turned as I thought I heard something move behind me in the water. “Someone told me that there are alligators in all waterholes in Florida.”
She laughed. “There might be, but we rarely see them. Besides. It just makes it that more exciting, right?”
She pulled my hand and drew me close to her. Our bodies felt warm against each other, her skin was soft, and touching it made me forget about animals in the water and the sounds of nature. I even forgot about my concerns as to hurting her and disappointing her parent
s. All I could think about was her and me, here right now in this water that was caressing our bodies. I kissed her again and held her naked body close to mine while allowing the passion to rise in me.
Suddenly she pulled away from me. “Stop,” she whispered urgently.
I looked at her and saw that the expression on her face had suddenly changed. “What’s wrong?” I asked sensing that my voice was shaking slightly. If it was out of fear or caused by the arousal I didn’t know.
“I thought I heard something.”
“Like what?”
She shook her head while her expression cleared. She smiled. “It was probably nothing.”
“Was it like an animal or something?” I asked. I looked back at the shore. We had gone out further than I was comfortable with. We were almost in to our shoulders. “Let’s go back,” I said.
“Kiss me first,” she said with a flirting smile.
It was like she fed on the excitement of the situation, like it aroused her. But it had the opposite effect on me. I wanted to get back to the shore. I wanted out of this dark and murky water. I started walking as she grabbed my hand and pulled me back. “Come on. Just kiss me here in the water while the wild animals are watching, waiting to make us their prey. Amuse me, humor me. This is what I want, and I know you want it, too.”
“I really don’t,” I said.
“Don’t be such a sissy,” she said and still refused to let go of my hand. She was a woman that wasn’t used to people saying no to her. That much was clear. But that was exactly what I was going to do. I pulled my hand out of her grip.
“I am going back now. You do whatever you want,” I said and turned my back at her. See what you’ll do about that you spoiled little upper class girl, I thought to myself as I fought my way through the water that seemed to have gotten much deeper than when we got in. It was probably just an illusion from my jet lag and the remains of the pot in my blood.
