Again, wish in one hand and shit in the other. As much as I wished things were different, they weren’t.
Daphne was a platinum recording artist with the world at her feet. I was a single father who was barely scraping by.
She was a rock star. I was her security guard.
What would she ever want with a guy like me? A guy who had absolutely nothing to offer her?
I knew the answer to that, of course. She wouldn’t. She wouldn’t want a damn thing to do with me.
I stood there just staring at the door for at least three solid minutes after Ezra walked out.
I’d kissed my fair share of people in my lifetime, both guys and girls. But the kiss I’d just gotten from him? It put every other kiss I’d ever had to shame. It was rough and dominating, but at the same time, sweet and passionate. It had taken my breath away and swept me off my feet, shifting the entire world on its axis.
And then he pulled away and ran out of the room. He’d just rocked my world with a single kiss and then walked away like it meant nothing. Like it was a mistake.
Hell, maybe it was a mistake. But how could something that felt so incredibly right be wrong? How could something that made my whole life make complete sense be a mistake?
Tears welled up in my eyes, and I swiped them away. I had no right to be upset. He was here to do a job, nothing more. Our relationship was professional, not personal.
And wasn’t that just my luck? Ezra had become so much more than just a security guard to me, and he was only here because he was getting paid to be. I’d started catching feelings, and he was just here for the paycheck.
When the knock came on my dressing room door, my heart leapt into my throat. What in the hell was I supposed to say to Ezra? Should I say something about the kiss? Should I just act like it never happened?
But then I opened the door and found Garth standing there.
“Hey, Garth,” I sighed, half in disappointment and half in relief.
“Ready to head to the meet and greet?” he asked.
I nodded and shut my dressing room door behind me, and we started walking in silence.
“Did something happen between you and Ezra? He never asks us to get you for the meet and greets,” he asked.
Yeah, something had happened, all right. He’d kissed me and now he was avoiding me. Which could only mean that he regretted it and didn’t know how to tell me. And I needed to talk to him about a conversation I’d had with Arielle earlier, but now I didn’t know if he’d even give me the time of day.
But I couldn’t tell Garth that. So I just shrugged.
“No, nothing,” I lied. “I know he’s juggling having his daughter here and working. He’s probably just busy.”
Ezra had a completely blank expression on his face when I got to the room for the meet and greet.
“Hey,” I said quietly.
He nodded, but didn’t say anything.
“Can we talk?” I asked.
“Later,” he muttered.
Yeah, I knew that tone of voice. There would be no talking about this later. It would just sit there and fester, hanging over our heads like a dark cloud on the horizon and ruining everything I used to love about being around him.
I knew I should talk to him about what Arielle and I had talked about, about what happened with her aunt and uncle. I knew I should force him to listen, whether or not he wanted to. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Not when he was being so cold.
“Take your hand off of Ms. DeVille,” Ezra growled.
The middle-aged man, whose name I couldn’t remember, turned to look at Ezra, but kept his hand firmly planted on my ass. I tried to squirm away, but his grip was too strong.
“Sir, I’m not going to ask you again,” Ezra said firmly as he took three steps closer, looking like he wanted to tear the man’s arm off. “Take your hand off Ms. DeVille, or we will forcibly remove you from the premises.”
Finally, he let go, and I forced a smile for his stupid photo op.
And then Garth escorted Arielle, Taylor, and Alex in. Ezra’s whole face lit up as he picked his daughter up.
“Hey, munchkin. Are you having fun with these guys?” he asked.
“Yeah,” Arielle giggled. “Taylor’s funny.”
“You have my deepest apologies for any new words he may have taught your daughter,” Alex chuckled, kissing Taylor’s cheek.
“It’s pointless to even try to get him to watch his language. I learned that long ago,” I laughed, sliding my arm around Taylor’s waist and burrowing into his side. I needed a hug, and I knew I could count on him to deliver.
“I have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about, short arse,” Taylor said, grinning like the Cheshire cat.
“Well, if Ari starts saying ‘bollocks’ or ‘arse,’ at least you’ll know where it came from,” I said.
Ezra looked at me and cracked half a smile, but didn’t say a word to me. Instead, he went back to talking to Arielle.
I teared up a little watching him interact with his daughter. I’d already been able to tell how much he loved her just from hearing him talk about her and seeing his face after he got off of FaceTime with her, but seeing them together? It made me hate the fact that I was keeping him from her. That he was missing out on months at a time with her because he was working for me.
I couldn’t stop thinking that maybe I just needed to let him go. Give him a giant severance check and let him get back home with his daughter where he belonged. That was what he really needed. To be able to be at home with her, being the incredible parent she deserved. Especially now, when the living situation that Arielle had been comfortable in until now had just been ripped out from under her because of her uncle’s unfaithfulness. And I had the power to make that happen.
But then I thought about what that would mean for me. It would mean that I’d never see him again. Never get to look into those warm brown eyes again. Never hear him laugh again. Never get another hug from him. And just thinking about that made me blink back more tears and choke down a lump in my throat.
“Daphne, this is fucking ridiculous,” Taylor finally said. “A blind man could see that something’s bothering you right now. And we can’t help you if we don’t know what it is.”
“Hate to say this, babe, but my favorite Brit’s right,” Samantha agreed. “You’re obviously upset. Usually you just want to crash in your suite after a show, but you asked us to come back and hang out with you. We’re here. So talk to us.”
I sighed. I knew they were right. Taylor, Alex, and Samantha were sitting in the living room of my suite with me because I’d asked them to be here, and instead of talking to them about this, I’d just gone through three-quarters of a bottle of sauvignon blanc by myself and sat here watching TV with them. And I knew Taylor was frustrated by it, because he’d pulled out the full name. He only called me Daphne when he was telling me off.
But what was I supposed to say? It felt so wrong telling them about the kiss. Maybe because I knew that by telling them, I was airing out Ezra’s dirty laundry too.
“It’s nothing,” I muttered.
Samantha dramatically sniffed the air. “Wait, what’s that? Ah, yes. It’s the distinct smell of…bullshit.”
“Does it have something to do with Ezra?” Alex asked. “He seemed upset when he picked Ari up after the show. Did something happen with him?”
Just hearing his name brought tears to my eyes, and though I tried to blink them away, it was futile. They spilled over onto my cheeks and a sob tore out of my throat. This had been building up ever since Ezra rushed out of my dressing room like his ass was on fire.
“Fuck, D,” Taylor gasped, pulling me into his arms and planting a kiss on my head. “What the fuck did he do to you? He might be sexy as fuck, but I will kick his fucking arse if he hurt you.”
“Think you could fit the word ‘fuck’ in there any more times, Taylor?” Samantha chuckled, rubbing my arm.
“Yes. Yes, I fucking can,” h
e teased.
“Smartass,” she shot back, then turned back to me. “Talk to us, Daph. Nothing you say leaves this room. Unless Taylor really does need to kick some arse.”
“Oh, my God. The word ‘arse’ sounds ridiculous in your Boston accent,” I chuckled, sniffling.
Alex got up from Taylor’s other side and knelt in front of me, putting a hand on my leg. “What happened, sugar?”
“He kissed me,” I told them. “And it wasn’t just a little peck, either. Like, I got dizzy. I saw stars. Hands-down, best kiss I’ve ever gotten in my life. Sorry, Sam.”
She let out a weak laugh. “It’s okay. So why are you crying? That sounds like a good thing.”
“Because then he ran out of the room like a bat out of hell and literally hasn’t said two words to me since. He usually insists on being the one who escorts me everywhere. He personally sweeps my room when we get back to the hotel. And the only time I’ve actually seen him since was at the meet and greet today, and I think that’s only because he knew Ari was going to be there. Otherwise I think he would have had one of the other guys do it instead. And I’ve been doing nothing but trying to figure out what the hell I did wrong since then. Was the kiss that awful for him? Am I just imagining the chemistry between us?”
“No, you’re definitely not,” Samantha said. “I need a damn machete to cut through the sexual tension between you two.”
“Did he say anything, D? Or did he just leave?” Taylor asked.
“He said he was sorry. I told him I wasn’t complaining, and then he just said he was going to let me get dressed and left. Hasn’t said word one to me since,” I said, wiping the fresh round of tears from my cheeks.
“So he’s scared he crossed a line,” Samantha said.
“I told him he didn’t,” I pointed out.
“Sugar, you’re Daphne freaking DeVille,” Alex told me. “There’s not a country in the world you could go to where people wouldn’t know your name and recognize those pink highlights in your hair. And he’s a guy you’re paying to protect you. I’d be willing to bet that you saying you weren’t complaining went in one ear and out the other because he just couldn’t get past the fact that he kissed one of the most popular rock stars not just in the country, but in the entire world.”
“Babe, remember what Bailey said that night at the club? When you thought he was going to kiss you and then he walked away instead? She said that if you want something more than friendship with him, you’re going to have to be the one to make a move,” Samantha reminded me. “Even though he kissed you, I still think she’s right.”
“And he’s got a daughter to think of too,” Taylor pointed out. “He’s probably scared shitless you’ll give him the sack now and leave him with no way to provide for her.”
“I almost wonder if I should. Not fire him, but just let him go. Give him enough money that he won’t have to work for a damn long time and just let him go home and be with his daughter. I’m keeping him from that beautiful little girl. She needs her daddy,” I sniffled.
“Oh, my God. You love him,” Samantha gasped.
“No, I don’t. I’ve only known the guy for two months.”
“D, you do realize I’d only known Alex for two months when you met him, right? And you could tell how I felt about him in five minutes,” Taylor reminded me.
“And you wouldn’t care this much about his daughter if you didn’t love him,” Samantha added.
“Why do you want to let him go? Is it really because of Ari? Or is it because it hurts too much to be around him if he doesn’t feel the same way you do?” Alex asked.
“I don’t know,” I sobbed. “I don’t. One minute, I think I need to because it’s the right thing to do for Ari. And the next minute, I think about never seeing him again and I want to cry.”
“Babe, those wet things coming from your eyes? Those are called tears,” Taylor said. “And I still want to kick his fucking arse for making you cry.”
“Don’t scare the poor guy off, darlin’,” Alex chuckled. “That’s just going to make this worse.”
“I don’t see how much worse it could get. He won’t talk to me. Maybe Bailey was right and I need to be the one to make the move, but how am I supposed to do that when he’s avoiding me and I can’t talk to him?” I asked.
“So don’t talk to him. Sing to him,” Samantha said.
I turned to look at her, furrowing my eyebrows.
“She sings every fucking night. That’s her job. What the fuck is she supposed to do? Dedicate a song to the bloke and profess her undying love?” Taylor scoffed. “Talk about scaring him off.”
“No. Sing something you usually don’t sing. Something that only means something to the two of you,” she clarified.
“Like what?” I asked.
“What was that song that was playing in the club that night? The one you danced to, right before he almost kissed you?”
“‘Heartbreak Beat,’” I said immediately.
Yes, I remembered it. I remembered everything about that night with perfect clarity.
“He’s taking tomorrow morning off, right? To deal with Ari?” she asked.
I nodded. “Yeah. He’ll be there in time for the meet and greet, but his parents don’t fly in until three and they need time to get to Times Square from LaGuardia.”
“Get the sheet music and print it out. We can run through it during the sound check and you can sing it during the encore tomorrow. Very last song. Don’t say anything about him or dedicate it to him. Just say that you want to do a new cover that you’ve never done before. Then if he has something he wants to say to you, he won’t have time to psych himself out of it because he’ll have to see you right afterward to get you back to the hotel.”
“I’ve literally never sung that song before in my life,” I told her. “I don’t even know all the words.”
“Well…I have this awesome karaoke app on my phone. So you can practice some tonight,” Samantha said, pulling her phone out and tapping on the screen. “And I’m positive you can find sheet music for it.”
She pulled the song up on her karaoke app and she personally paid for it so I could practice it. I ran through it once and then groaned.
“Oh, my God. I feel ridiculous,” I said. “This is stupid.”
“Maybe it’s a little ridiculous. But it’s also romantic as fuck,” Taylor said. “And that’s coming from someone who’s been serenaded before. You know that. You were there. You helped with the serenading.”
“That I did. That song’s still too perfect for you two,” I chuckled.
“And actually, after hearing the words to this song, I think this one’s perfect for you and Ezra,” Samantha chimed in. “So practice again, because you are going to serenade your man tomorrow. I’m not letting you back out.”
I groaned as my eyes popped open. God, I wished I could take this whole day off. And maybe tomorrow too. Take some time to screw my head on straight and figure out what the hell to say to Daphne about that stupid kiss.
I knew it couldn’t happen again. I’d crossed the very thin line between personal and professional that we’d been flirting with since day one, but it wasn’t too late to salvage this. Make sure I didn’t lose my job, and make sure I could still do my job effectively.
A tiny body crawled onto the bed next to me and burrowed herself into my arms. I smiled and kissed my daughter’s head. God, I missed this. Getting hugs and kisses from Arielle every day. Getting to start every day seeing my favorite face in the world.
I almost didn’t want to let my parents take her when they got here this afternoon. I wanted to just be able to take her home and be her father again. Especially after what she’d seen at the hospital yesterday. I’d talked to her a little about it, but I was still processing it myself and she was kind of tight-lipped about it when I tried to get her to talk to me. I seriously wanted to kick my brother-in-law’s ass for making her witness that.
But even if I could afford to quit this job,
the thought of doing that made me sick to my stomach. Because that would mean never seeing Daphne again. Never getting to talk to her again. Never getting to hold her in my arms again. Never seeing her smile or hearing her voice again. And, for some reason I couldn’t figure out, I couldn’t stand that thought.
“Morning, jelly bean,” I yawned.
“Morning,” Arielle mumbled sleepily.
“Did you have fun yesterday?” I asked her.
“Yeah. Daphne’s really nice. And her friends were too.”
“How did you like your first concert?”
“It was fun. Kind of loud, though. But the headphones Daphne gave me helped,” she said.
God, how was I supposed to keep this up? How was I supposed to keep things professional between Daphne and I when she’d bent over backward for my daughter yesterday out of the goodness of her heart? When I could see how upset she was at the meet and greet yesterday and all I wanted to do was pull her into my arms and kiss her until she forgot why she was upset in the first place?
Of course she was upset, though. I’d taken advantage of her. I’d taken her kindness and generosity and our friendship and shit all over it just because I couldn’t keep my hands and mouth to myself.
“Yeah, those do help. I wear them backstage every night,” I told Arielle. “Look, I’m hungry and I need coffee. Can I trust you not to get into trouble if I run downstairs and grab us breakfast?”
She giggled. One of my favorite sounds in the world.
“What kind of trouble could I get into here?” she asked.
“Nice try, munchkin. I’m not going to give you ideas,” I teased, tickling her ribs.
“Ezra,” an unmistakably British voice said from behind me.
I turned around to look at Taylor, and he looked…I couldn’t really describe it. Disappointed, maybe? Upset? He wasn’t angry, not exactly. So at least that was something.
“She told you,” I sighed.
Falling Angel Page 14
