by Anthology
He drew her into the waiting room and began to introduce her.
She’d never imagined flashing could be such a great icebreaker.
Chapter Four
Macon finished the cake with a final swipe of his hand. Dark chocolate with a ganache icing. It would be served with a homemade vanilla bean ice cream that hopefully he still had enough of. Ally proved fond of his ice cream. She’d watched him make it with liquid nitrogen, her eyes widening when the smoke had gone everywhere.
The door to the kitchen came open and Ally walked through wearing faded jeans and one of those soft T-shirts she always seemed to wear that hugged her breasts in all the right places. Her eyes were wide as she strode in. Ally, he’d learned, did everything with a sort of anxious energy. It was hard for her to stay still. “That is a roomful of babies. They’re everywhere. I want to roll around in them.”
“It’s going to be a roomful of poop in about twenty minutes.” His living room was being used as a nursery. It was the reason the “gang” was using Adam’s place. He had a large playroom and he was the only one with a guesthouse to stash the babies in.
“They’re not free-range babies, so it should be all right.” Ally stopped to admire the cake. “This is beautiful. You have to teach me how to do the roses.”
“I will. I’m doing a cake for an anniversary party next week. You can help me.” He’d started to teach her some of the finer points of his job. She seemed fascinated with cake decorating. He’d taught her the art of writing with a pastry bag. He’d also started thinking longer term. He no longer questioned whether she would be here next week. “And thank god they’re not free range.”
She grinned. “Don’t want to clean up that mess, huh? So who are the two women they have watching the kiddos?”
“They’re actually Dr. Daley’s sisters. Nice ladies. Laurel and Lisa.”
“And they babysit?”
“They’re sub…substitutes. Substitute teachers. They make money on the side this way.” He’d almost explained that the young women were training as submissives at Sanctum, Big Tag’s club. Well, it had been his club before it was blown up by an asswipe traitor who should have his entrails ground into dust and shoved up his anal cavity without lube. Tag’s words, not his. Apparently the dude was dead, but Macon wasn’t so sure that would stop Big Tag. If he thought he could properly punish a corpse, he might do it. The new Sanctum was under construction.
“They’re substitutes? Seriously? One of them was talking about working for a law firm. She said babysitting wasn’t a big thing because she had to deal with shit all day long and at least babies are cute. When do we need to get the cake over? And what about the appetizers? Should I be at the big house heating them up?”
She would have to go to the big house since there was absolutely no heat in this house. None. No making out. No cuddling. For five days she’d babied him, making sure he ate healthy and got enough water. She’d made him stay in bed the whole first day and kept him from working out. She’d driven him to physical therapy and then nagged the therapist about making him do too much.
Not once had she kissed him or even said a thing that would make him think she wanted him to kiss her. They ate together, watched TV together, cooked together.
They were roommates.
“Don’t worry about it. Adam’s going to finish the apps and Serena has all the salads. It’s only a little buffet.”
“A little? It’s magnificent. I can’t wait to see it. Do you think they’ll mind if I sneak a plate? I promise to hide in the kitchen. We should get catering uniforms. You know, black pants, white shirt. They could come in handy.”
“You’re not going.” He’d thought about it that first day. He’d thought about the fact that he could take her over to the mini club the McKay-Taggart group had set up and he could watch her. He could see if she had any interest at all. Of course, that was when he’d thought they would at least have had a heavy make-out session by this point. Now that he realized she was simply looking for a place to stay and a bit of friendship, he thought taking her to watch his friends have sex in kinky ways was probably a mistake.
God, he wanted to have sex with her in kinky ways. Hell, he’d take straight up vanilla. Being close to her for days was killing him. She wore boxer shorts and a tank top to bed and she would walk out of her room in the morning with her hair all mussed and her sleepy eyes and he would put a cup of coffee in her hand, and all he could think about were her nipples. Until she turned around and then he thought about her ass.
She required two cups of strong coffee to get her going in the mornings. She particularly liked the Sumatra blend. He hadn’t told her he was experimenting, but he changed the blend until he found the one that made her sigh and lick her lips. By the time she was awake, he was putting an egg white omelet with whatever veg they had on hand and a bowl of fresh fruit in front of her. She’d been surprised at how healthy he ate. He’d explained that he was a pastry chef. Everything else had to be healthy or he’d weigh a ton.
“You don’t need any help tonight?”
He shook his head. “I’m going to drop off the cake and then I’ll come back over and we can play with the babies.”
A frown creased her forehead. “But I heard you talking to Adam about how you were looking forward to this.”
That had been when he’d still had hope that he might participate. Even if it was only in a voyeuristic fashion. “I’m taking the night off.”
Her eyes narrowed and he was really worried she could see past his layers of skin right down to his soul. She turned without another word and walked back out of the kitchen. He should have let it go, pleased that she wasn’t questioning him any more.
But he’d started to know that look. That look in Ally’s eyes meant trouble. He followed.
“How’s the substitute teaching business these days, ladies?”
Shit. And shit. And more shit. “Ally…”
Laurel was holding one of the babies. One of the ones who wasn’t Tristan. He knew his nephew but the other babies all kind of looked alike. Tristan was currently pulling his baby body up on the sofa. He grinned, showing one tiny tooth.
“Uhm, I’ve never done that. That sounds perfectly horrible,” Laurel said with a shudder. “I’m a paralegal.”
She pointed back to him. “That one said you were watching the babies because you’re subs who need extra money.”
Lisa shook her head as she laid one of the twins down in the traveling bassinet the Taggarts had set up twenty minutes ago. “Oh, no, he meant we’re in submissive training.”
And that was the way his night went to shit. “I wasn’t going to tell her that. You two need to learn what ‘private club’ means.”
Lisa winced. “I’m sorry, Sir.”
Laurel looked between the two of them. “I apologize. I assumed she would know what a sub is given the fact that she lives with you, Sir.”
“Submissive?” Ally said the word in that way that let him know she kind of knew what it meant but wasn’t exactly rah-rah about it.
Macon looked at Lisa and Laurel. He wasn’t really mad at them. They should be safe to talk here. He was the one who had screwed up. “I’m sorry, ladies. You’re right. I should have told her. Can you explain why you’re here?”
Laurel patted the baby’s back. “Sanctum has a training program for Doms and subs. The actual club costs are way too expensive for either of us, but Big Tag has a program where he lets us in if we help out where we can. Subs end up watching kiddos a lot. Well, the ones who like kids. Normally Vince would be with us, but he’s doing a play in Austin this week. He’s an actor and a total bottom. He’s got a great touch with Carys. She gets crabby. All the Doms in training are helping with the Sanctum rebuild.”
“After what I did with a jigsaw, they won’t let me near the construction,” Lisa explained.
Ally turned on him, pointing back to the kitchen. “Talk. Now.”
He stopped and crossed his arms over his che
st because that tone did not sit right with him. He was always polite with her. He’d spent a week taking care of her, too. He’d done the marriage where his wife pushed him around. He wasn’t about to start that again.
She’d been walking toward the kitchen but stopped in her tracks when she realized he hadn’t moved. “What?”
“You should be more polite,” Laurel said in a singsong voice. She was bouncing a baby. “Shouldn’t she, Aidan? Yes, she should show some respect.”
She stopped for a minute and then turned back to him. “Could I talk to you in the kitchen, please?”
He nodded and followed her back, not looking forward to the next couple of minutes. Maybe she wouldn’t be here next week.
When he pushed through the kitchen door, she was leaning against the island. “Submissives? Doms?”
“My brother is into alternative lifestyles and as he is your host, I expect you to treat him with a modicum of respect.” He owed his brother. His brother had spent a lifetime with people judging him. He wasn’t going to bring another person into Adam’s life who might misunderstand him.
She frowned his way. “I haven’t been disrespectful to Adam.”
“And to me?” He’d done nothing to earn that glare from earlier or the way she’d hauled him in front of the Daley girls.
“Oh, god, you’re one of them.”
He was done. He had a job to do. He crossed to the island and started gathering the things he would need. “I’ll be back after the party. I’m sorry about the disturbance, but the babies should be gone sometime after midnight.”
The kitchen got quiet as he started organizing his things.
He felt a hand on his back and then Ally spoke quietly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.”
“It’s not a problem.” Maybe he was more invested than he thought. He really didn’t like the way she’d reacted. It bugged him. He could handle her ordering him around when it came to healthcare. That felt like caring. This felt too much like judgment, and he wasn’t going to take that again.
“I’m sorry.”
He took a deep breath and really meant it when he said it this time. “It’s all right.”
It wasn’t her fault she couldn’t deal with his lifestyle choices. He hadn’t exactly talked to her about it. They’d spent the week chatting about inconsequential things. He knew she liked to watch mystery movies and read romances, and he’d talked about the fact that he loved reading thrillers. They’d spent an enormous amount of time in the kitchen where he felt the most comfortable. He’d avoided talking about his past. She was glib when she talked about hers. Now that he looked at it, they hadn’t been serious at all.
Roommates. They hadn’t tried to be anything more and maybe that was all right. He didn’t want to get involved with a woman who didn’t want to know him. He’d already been married to one.
“It doesn’t feel all right,” she said in a quiet voice.
“It’s not a big deal. I’m sorry I didn’t explain it to you before. The party earlier was for Grace’s family. This one is for Grace’s friends. Her kink family, if you will. I’ll handle everything. I have to make sure Serena and Adam know how to reheat if they need to. My brother is actually quite good in the kitchen, too.” He politely broke her hold and stepped away. If they weren’t going to be more than friends, he didn’t think it was appropriate to get intimate. He also didn’t want a quick hookup or a “friends with benefits” type thing with her.
“Sean is involved, too,” she said quietly. “That’s why he called the restaurant Top. I thought it was because he wanted to be the top restaurant, but that wasn’t what he meant.”
He looked back at her. She was leaning against the fridge, her arms crossed over her chest. He kept the island between them, giving her space since it looked like she’d gone back into protective mode. “It’s not something you have to worry about. Sean’s a good guy.”
“He hits his wife.”
That felt like a kick in the gut. Well, it was better to know sooner than later. “They play together. Everything they do is mutually agreed on and for her pleasure. Does Grace look like an abused woman?”
She shook her head as though trying to clear it. “Could you give me a minute? I’m trying to wrap my brain around it.”
This was what his brother had to deal with all these years. “You don’t have to. It has nothing to do with you. It doesn’t hurt you or anyone. It’s people choosing to live and play together. If you can’t handle that, the door is that way, but if you think I’m going to stand here and debate with you whether Sean and my brother are abusive husbands because they and their wives indulge in spanking and bondage, you’re wrong. I won’t justify myself or my family to you.”
Tears had formed in her eyes and it took everything he had to stand his ground and not reverse everything he’d said. She stood there as the tears fell on her cheek, but she wasn’t looking at him. She was staring at a place on the floor as though she couldn’t stand to look at him. As if he was going to turn into some kind of monster.
He forced himself to move. He grabbed the cake plate and started readying Grace’s birthday cake for transfer.
“He went to a lot of trouble for her. Two parties for her birthday,” she mentioned quietly.
“He loves her. You should see what Big Tag does for his wife. Who is also his sub.”
“And you want to have that kind of relationship?”
He sealed the cake in and prayed he made it across the yard without tripping. He’d almost lost a plate of petit fours for the family party when he’d tried to take a shortcut to Bessie. God, he was calling her car by that name now, too. Ally had saved the little cakes. She’d been walking right next to him, chatting away. He hadn’t realized how closely she’d been watching him.
He was going to miss their easy friendship. He’d been thinking bitterly about it before, but now he realized how lonely he was going to be without her. He would have taken her friendship without the sex if that was all he could have. A heaviness set over him.
“I’ve never had that kind of relationship. I’ve been training and I like it. I enjoy feeling like I have control somewhere. I like feeling like someone needs me even if it’s only for a while. But that doesn’t matter. I won’t hit you, Ally, if that’s what you’re really asking. I won’t hurt you or try to force you to do anything you don’t want to do. Look, if knowing this about me makes you uncomfortable staying here, then let me loan you some money to get your own place. I don’t have much but I can float you a down payment and first month’s rent. You can pay me back in installments.”
“You want me to leave?”
“No, but I don’t want you to be afraid of me and I think you are right now. You don’t have to decide tonight. I’ll stay over at the big house and we can talk about it in the morning.” He picked up the cake. “Don’t forget to lock the deadbolt.” He turned to go and thought about having a beer. His brother would have a fridge full of it, but he would only have one. He was going to do his job and ensure everything was all right with the play party and then he’d hit the guest room and sit up all night wondering how he was going to miss a person he’d only known for a few weeks.
Her arms went around his waist and she plastered her front to his back. “Please don’t go. Not like this.”
“Ally, it’s all right. I’m not going to kick you out. It’s okay.”
She didn’t let go. If anything, her hold tightened. “I’m not afraid of you. I know you wouldn’t hurt me. And I know Sean and Adam are good men. Please don’t be mad at me. I didn’t expect it and I had a bad reaction and I’m sorry. I get stuck in a corner sometimes and I’m too stubborn to come out. I don’t want to leave here. I don’t want to leave you.”
“What is this really about?” It felt bigger than a misunderstanding. He set the cake down because it looked like this conversation was going to take a while.
She was quiet for a moment, her head resting against his back. “My dad hit my mom.
He was a mean drunk. She left when I was eight. I wished she’d taken me with her. He didn’t smack me around, but he would scare the crap out of me. That’s when I started running away.”
He’d wondered. She was so glib that she had to be glossing over something bad. He let his hand drift to where she was holding on to him like a lifeline. “No one’s going to hurt you here, baby.”
He probably shouldn’t have used the endearment. She wasn’t his baby, but he wanted to give her some affection and words were likely the only way she would take it from him.
She slowly let go and he turned around. Her face was red, and he knew telling him that truth about herself had cost her. He didn’t want to hurt her. Not physically. Not emotionally. She was so strong and he hated to see her looking vulnerable. The last time he’d seen her like this was when Timothy had assaulted her. He kept his hands to his sides despite the fact that he wanted to hold her. “It’s all right. You don’t have to talk anymore. It’s okay.”
She walked right into his arms like she belonged there. She put her head against his chest, her body flush to his. She wasn’t trying to put distance between them or show him that they could still be friendly. This was an all-out plea for comfort, and he couldn’t deny her. He sighed as his arms wrapped around her and their bodies fit together for the first time in days.
This was where he’d needed to be. This was what he’d wanted. He’d wanted to be able to smell her shampoo and feel her body nestled to his, but it was confusing.
“Ally, I don’t understand. Baby, you’re going to have to tell me what you want from me because I can’t read your mind. I’ve kept my hands to myself all week because it seems like you only want to be friends, but I have to say, it feels like more right now. If I’m reading you wrong, I would like for you to tell me. I care about you. A lot. If you don’t feel the same way, please tell me. It doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. It doesn’t mean you can’t stay here. I simply need to adjust my expectations.”
