by Anthology
Kai’s smile was so wide, it lit up his whole face. “See, there you go. Now you know you’ve got some kink in you. Everyone does. Most people simply don’t acknowledge it. What disturbed you? I know I did.”
Damn him. He’d known what he was doing, but it seemed stubborn not to talk now. “The violence bothered me because of some things that happened when I was a kid.”
“All right. That’s a trigger for you. You can either avoid even watching scenes like that or we can work on it. The good news is Macon’s not that kind of a top. He’s a very indulgent top. I doubt he even truly enjoys spanking a woman.”
“I totally like spanking a woman and when the hell did this turn into a therapy session?” Macon shook his head and leaned against the counter.
“There’s never a bad time for a therapy session, my friend. I’m hopeful for you. You’ve smiled more since this woman came into your life. I want to help you make it work. Relationships, like anything in life, require more than luck, more than simply love. They require two people who honestly want to be together, who are willing to work through the issues that will inevitably try to keep them apart. It’s not easy to take two independent beings and form a really workable couple.”
Serena cleared her throat.
“Or three,” Kai allowed before turning back to Ally. “I saw you two watching the scene but there wasn’t a lot of talk between you. You held hands, but I don’t feel the real intimacy. You’re not sleeping together.”
“Has anyone ever told you you’re a busybody, Kai?” Macon asked, obviously irritated.
“It’s a hobby. This is about being your friend and not your therapist. You’re sad you’re not sleeping with her. I would be sad, too. She’s a gorgeous woman.” Kai gave her a polite nod.
She’d landed in some weird place. At home, no one ever talked about sex. That might be why she’d never had any really good sex. Whatever her new friends were, she could tell one thing. They were happy.
“I’m afraid to sleep with him,” she admitted. “Not because he would hurt me. I know he never would. I’m afraid I would be disappointing. I would rather have him in my life without sex than out of it because I wasn’t enough.”
Macon turned to her. “Babe, that’s not how it works.”
Kai was grinning from ear to ear, like a little boy who’d been given a present. “Why would you think you aren’t enough?”
“Is it because you’re not a screaming orgasmer?” Serena asked. “That’s the guy’s fault, you know. Maybe you haven’t had a decent lover yet.”
“It’s not always the guy’s fault,” Kai disagreed. “What do you think about during sex, Ally?”
Macon sighed as though he knew where the shrink was going.
She didn’t know where any of this was going. “Uhm, I don’t know. It depends on what’s going on in my life. Sometimes I think about what he’s doing and that it’s not working, and sometimes I think about what I need to do the next day. I worry a lot.”
“If her brain works like her body, then she never stops thinking,” Macon explained. “She’s always moving. Even when we sit and watch TV, she’s doing something else. She’ll knit or make lists of things to do. She’s never still.”
“I’ve always been that way.” She’d never seen that there was anything wrong with it.
“She’s anxious. You need to get her out of her head. Why don’t you come by my place and we can have a session?” Kai offered. “I can fit you in on Tuesday. We’ll probably need an hour or two.”
“I think I can handle this, buddy.” Macon patted his friend on the shoulder and then looked to Serena. “Do you mind if we head out?”
Serena shook her head. “Of course not.” She enveloped Ally in a hug. “It was so good to have you here. Jake went over and got Tristan. I think you two are now baby free.”
“Call me if you need anything,” Kai offered.
Macon chuckled at that and took her hand. “Come on, babe. We need to talk.”
She let him lead her out, scared to death of what they were about to do.
Chapter Five
Macon locked the door behind him and the house was beautifully still. After all the excitement of the night, it was good to come home to quiet and peace. The Daley girls had eradicated any sign that their home had been used as a nursery and everything was back to its neat, peaceful state.
So why was his body humming with energy?
He was only going to talk to her. Kai was right about that. They needed to talk. Sure it would be so much easier to fall into bed and enjoy whatever they could find, but he’d done that before. He wanted more with Ally. So only talk. And maybe some kissing. Hey, if she wanted more, he would give it to her. But if she only needed to talk, he would do that instead. Why was he so damn nervous?
“Do you want some coffee?”
She looked up at him, a pink flush to her cheeks. “You know most guys would offer a girl wine or a drink at this point.”
He shook his head. Did she really think he hadn’t noticed her habits? “You don’t drink.”
“But you do. I’ve seen you drink with Eric and the guys.”
“I don’t if it makes you uncomfortable.” There was a six-pack of beer sitting in the fridge. It had been there since the day before the tornado.
She bit her bottom lip and crossed her arms over her chest. “Sometimes I think you’re too good to be true.”
“You’re the only person in the world who thinks that. Are we ready? I’d like to talk about something important. We’ve spent a week talking about movies and books and not a thing about our real selves, and that’s what got us in trouble earlier today.”
She turned and walked to the couch and sat down. “Okay.”
She said it like talking would be an unpleasant experience. He was starting to understand that talking wasn’t easy for Ally. It was easier for him since he’d spent months in therapy with Kai. He’d figured out a couple of weeks into his Dallas residence that talking about things didn’t make him less of a man. He’d reevaluated everything about what it meant to be a man since he’d come to Dallas. He sat down on the sofa beside her.
“Do you want to go to bed with me?”
“Yes.” At least she didn’t hesitate answering that question.
“Good. I want to take the next step with you, too. You’re scared that you won’t be enough for me. Well, I’m scared I’m not very good in bed. I know I’m supposed to be some kind of alpha male who never questions that he’s sex on two legs, but I’m damaged here and I’m really tired of pretending I’m not human. I would very much like to be able to be human with you.”
Her whole body seemed to soften and she reached for his hand. “Why would you think that?”
He let her take it, enjoying the warmth. “Because my wife told me I was useless with two legs so I would be completely pathetic with one. She was having an affair with my brother. Not Adam, obviously. Alan. He’s my brother, the firstborn and our father’s favorite. Dad disowned Adam because of the kink. I wasn’t exactly disowned. I walked away. I could go back if I accepted my brother’s new girlfriend. Who happens to be my old wife. Yeah, we’re fucked up.”
Her hand slid over his and then back again as though she was trying to soothe him. “Everyone is, I think. Some people are simply better at hiding it. What if we tried? I mean, we’re never going to know if we have chemistry if we don’t try.”
“Oh, we have chemistry, baby. At least on my side we do. I get hard when you walk in a room.”
“Really?”
At least here honesty worked for her. “Oh yeah. Do you remember that first day you showed up at Top and you were all stuttery and out of sorts? I let you inside and you waited with me until Sean could see you.”
“I remember you were making a chocolate glaze for poached pears and you let me try it.”
“Yep, I had a hard-on.” He shifted back, getting comfortable, though it meant letting go of her hand. “I kind of have one now.”
&
nbsp; Kind of was understating it. His cock was rock hard and desperate, but he was determined to give her the time she needed.
Her gaze went down to his crotch and her eyes went wide. “You’re serious.”
“Yes, but I’m not going to do anything about it until you’re ready.”
She groaned. “You’re killing me, Miles. Why can’t you be like every other guy in the freaking world and jump on me? Why do you have to make it hard?”
He put a bit of bite in his tone. Her brat wasn’t needed here tonight. “Because I take this seriously. If you want a quick fuck, you should probably find someone else.”
She flushed. “I’m sorry, Macon. I am ready. And I’ve thought about it and I want to put this in your hands. I want you to be in control of this because I don’t know what I’m doing and honestly, I don’t even know what I really want except to feel close to you.”
“I know what I want.” It felt good to be honest with someone for a change.
“What’s that?”
“I want to make you scream. I want to be the man who shows you how hot you can get because I think you could burn, baby. You simply have to trust me. You have to let go and stop thinking about anything but what you’re feeling.” Kai might be a busybody, but he had gotten to the heart of the matter. She thought too much. She was in constant protection mode and he needed her to let those walls down. “I want to do some sensation play with you. It doesn’t have to end in sex.”
It would likely end in a massive masturbation session if she said no. His right hand was going to get some tonight.
“All right. What do you want me to do?”
He stood up and held out a hand. “Let’s go to your bedroom.” It would be easier to walk away from her than it would be to watch her walk away. Besides, she might feel more comfortable around her own things. “Do you have a scarf?”
“Sure. It’s in my room.” Her hand was trembling when she placed it in his.
He helped her up and held her hand to his chest. “Baby, I know you gave me control, but you understand how this works, right? You’re giving me control to bring you pleasure but the minute you feel unsafe, tell me and I stop.”
She went up on her toes and brushed her mouth against his. “Like I said. Too good to be true.”
“You wouldn’t say that if you’d seen me a few months ago.” He started to lead her back to the bedroom. He sure as hell didn’t want her to think he was some kind of saint. “I was drunk all the time and I was bitter and angry.”
“After you lost your leg? And your wife left you? I can understand that. I might have been homicidal, Macon.”
She would have gone after Elise with her hammer very likely. He enjoyed her crazy streak. He’d grown up around women like his stepmother. Pretty, perfect, cold. It wasn’t until he’d actually gone into the Army that he met some real women. He’d thought he needed a female like Elise who wanted to be an officer’s wife. Her father had connections through his law firm. Her mother had been a model socialite. Macon’s stepmother had handpicked Elise.
If Ally had been his wife, he wouldn’t have woken up alone in a hospital room in Germany. Alone and aching. Waking up to the same dream every night of his friend lifting the gun…
He forced the image back. He knew it was coming—the moment when he had to deal with it, with Ronnie’s mom and sister. He knew he wouldn’t be able to move forward until he talked to them, but he needed some time with Ally first. Just a week.
Definitely not tonight. This wasn’t the time to think about Rowe. It was time to concentrate on Ally. He wanted Ally so badly he could already taste her, but he had to prep her first. He had to whip her up into a sweet froth. Careful handling. He’d always known she would require that.
He’d spent most of his life prepping for a career as a soldier. He’d never intended to leave the military. But if he hadn’t he would never have discovered this unexpected side of himself. He’d never have found out that he loved making something sweet. He adored the careful art of molding something with his hands.
He was going to enjoy using them to show Ally Jones how they could be enough for each other.
She opened the top drawer of her dresser and pulled out a long blue and green scarf.
“I’m going to cover your eyes. I want you to concentrate on one thing and one thing only. Me. My touch, my voice, what I do to you. Before I do that, I want you to take your clothes off. I want you to watch me while you do it. Watch my eyes, the way I breathe, the way this damn cock of mine will tighten. See how much you affect me.”
She stood there for a moment and then her eyes came up, watching him as her hands moved to the edge of her shirt. She slowly dragged it over her head, revealing creamy skin he wanted to touch. She was wearing a plain white bra that seemed more erotic than all the Victoria’s Secret specials Elise had ever worn. He didn’t have a lot of experience, but he didn’t need much to tell him Ally was special. She made him feel.
“Now the jeans.” He wanted it to last.
She put her hands on her hips. “I’ve waited weeks to see that chest, Miles. I’ll drop trou and everything if I get a glimpse of what’s hiding under there.”
Even her brat called to him. He tugged his shirt off, infinitely pleased that he’d started up a hardcore workout regime again. He hadn’t liked the fact that Adam and Jake had been so much stronger. It spurred him to work harder. He might not have a right leg, but he had a cut torso.
She stared, those blue eyes wide as she took him in. It was enough to make a man feel good.
“I believe you said something about dropping those jeans.” His confidence was way up just from her jaw dropping. He meant to give her the same because she was gorgeous. Inside and out.
Her hands went to the waistband of her pants. She undid the button and shoved the jeans down over her hips and to the floor.
“You know that’s not all I want. I adore your every curve, but I want to see you.”
He could see the way his tone worked on her. An authoritative but loving top would help her. She could work with him to bring them both great joy.
Her arms moved toward her back and in a single twist of her hand, the bra came off and her breasts sprang free. Gorgeous and round, with pretty pink and brown tipped nipples. Those breasts were breathtaking and his whole body responded. Every muscle tightened and his blood started to thrum in anticipation.
“I want more.”
One elegant brow arched over her blue eyes. “So do I.”
“It’s not pretty, baby.” But it was him. He’d come to accept it. He’d lost his leg. He’d given it for his country. At first it had seemed like nothing more than a random thing, but he’d come to believe it was a sacrifice and one willingly made if the people he loved were safe. For so long the Army had been a career and then a road that led to something new and different. He’d made his sacrifice, done his duty, and now he wanted peace and freedom and god, he wanted her.
“Says you.”
He shoved his jeans down, careful around his prosthetic. It had a vacuum seal he would have to break later, but he left it on now. She should see what she was getting. He walked because of an artificial leg with a mechanized knee. He wouldn’t be normal again, but he’d discovered normal was a lie. There was no such thing.
“Can I touch you?” Her hand was already up, but she didn’t make a move toward him.
He wanted to get rid of this hesitancy between them. He reached out and took her hand, bringing it to his chest. “You can touch me anywhere you want.”
Her fingers brushed against his skin, a light caress that left him wanting more. He stood still, giving her a chance to explore. She seemed fascinated with the hair on his chest, petting him like he was some kind of exotic beast. She traced the lines and contours of his body, moving over his muscles and smoothing across his scars. He had plenty of them.
Her fingers trailed down to his abs, running over them to the waistband of his boxers. Her eyes were staring down at his prosthet
ic.
“Does it hurt?”
“It can’t hurt, baby.” It wasn’t there. He didn’t want to go into the fact that it ached from time to time and that he woke trying to move a limb that was no longer there. He would probably feel it for the rest of his life, but he was trying really hard to move on without it. He wasn’t sure he would be able to if she rejected him. Somehow, Ally Jones had become necessary. The leg was freaky. It could completely turn her off.
“You should never wear clothes at all, Miles. It’s not pretty? That’s the most ridiculous thing I ever heard. You’re a freaking Greek god.”
Well, at least she was accepting. He might not believe it completely, but he would take it. There had been a moment for him when he’d worried she would see all the perfect bodies on display at the play party and realize she could have someone whole. He had to make sure she understood that no one would take her pleasure and her happiness as seriously as he did.
He held up the scarf. “I’m going to blindfold you. I want you to block out everything but the sound of my voice and the touch of my hands. Can you do that?”
“I can try, but you should know that I’m not very sexual. I don’t do that screaming thing other women do. Maybe it’s psychological, maybe there’s something physically wrong with me. I don’t know, but I don’t want you to expect too much.”
That sounded like a challenge. He wasn’t a man to turn one down.
***
The minute he guided the silk around her eyes, her perspective changed. The world didn’t go completely dark. There was still a bit of light, but it was inconsequential. She was dependent on him. That was the point of this exercise. She was utterly dependent on him and all she was wearing was a pair of white cotton undies.
Without the advantage of sight, her focus shifted. She was forced to acknowledge the way cool air felt against her skin, how her nipples tightened and how warm she’d become low in her pelvis.
