“Ah…” Mac said, “but…what if you be having to…well…you know…‘go?’”
“Go?” Bugs asked. “Go where?”
“Well,” Mac said, “you know, Mr. Bugs, ‘go’…see a man about a horse…take a leak, drain your main…”
Flannery backhanded Mac on the arm interrupting him, then spoke up, “What he means to say, sir, is…” he thought for a moment, then, “‘deposit bodily waste products.” He raised an eyebrow.
“Oh,” said the Loud. “Well, first, we have a much more advanced system of doing this than you do.”
“A ‘more advanced system’ you say?” Mac was intrigued.
“Yes.” Bugs replied. “You have separate openings that are used for each function, one for expelling solid waste and one for liquid waste and one for nourishment intake, and there’s one for breathing and two more for hearing sound.”
Mac tilted his head, “Nourishment intake?”
Flannery backhanded Mac on the arm again, “Eating, you diode!” Flannery turned back to Bugs, “Yes, we have, as you say, separate openings…and you don’t?”
“No,” Bugs replied. “We only have one opening for all these functions.”
The two of them were speechless for a moment – a rare occurrence. They both looked at Bugs and then at each other. Finally, Mac spoke, “And, you be tellin’ us that…well, that that’s more advanced?”
“Of course,” Bugs replied.
Flannery scratched his beard, “Well, I beg your pardon, sir, but it seems to me…that is…ah…that means if you are… depositing waste let’s say, then you can’t speak, and vice-versa, if you see what I mean. How is that more advanced?”
“Not to mention the taste!” Mac added under his breath.
“Ah…” Bugs said, “we do these things at the same time.”
Adamarus was laughing, but as this was new information to him as well, he wasn’t about to interrupt just yet.
Mac’s mouth dropped open, “You mean you’re shitting right now as you speak to us?”
“I could be.” Bugs said. “But…no…not right now.”
Flannery scratched his head in confusion and asked, “Bugs, as I understand it, to ‘speak,’ you Loud must first expand upward, drawing in air, and I heard you can rise as much as 100 feet. Then you come back down to force the air out through chambers in your head and then out of…well, that all-purpose hole we’ve been talking about. During the expulsion of the air, the hole you use for…everything is moving downward so…if waste byproducts are expelled during this action…where exactly do they go?”
“Ah…I see what you mean. You have to understand that our waste byproducts have unique characteristics,” Bugs explained. “When they dry, they form a semi-hard auto-sealing surface that absorbs noise, blocks certain types of radiation and serves as excellent insulation against severe temperature differences. This surface is also good for the type of locomotion we use, and more importantly, the fungus we consume will only grow on its surface. We consume this through the membranes of our lower locomotive section or, when it becomes airborne, through our pores and that ‘all-purpose’ hole, as you call it. Also, our excrement ‘paints’ all surfaces with a soothing yellowish, greenish brown color. You ask where exactly our waste goes? It is sprayed on all of the walls, floors and ceilings of our ships, our buildings and our homes. It is constantly replenished as it wears down and this is done without us even thinking of it.”
Both Flannery and Mac were completely astounded. “So, it’s like…” Flannery stammered, “all totally automatic? Well, that is certainly a good thing! I mean, I don’t know if I’d be a-wantin’ to be a thinkin’ about…” he waved his hand, “ah…all of that either.”
Meanwhile, Mac’s mouth hung open as he stared wide-eyed at Bugs while this new information was organized, correlated and processed in his head. This resulted in pristine insights and suppositions, and his eyes widened even further as new conclusions formed. He turned to Flannery with the results of all this deep thinking, “Flannery, there’d be a lot of bad breath, wouldn’t you think?”
“Perhaps that’s why they rise up a hundred feet when they speak,” Flannery replied without skipping a beat. “But if the walls, floors and ceilings are all made from…that stuff, then I guess the smell would be everywhere anyway.”
Mac turned back to Bugs, “So then, sometimes when ya be telling us things, you’re really just sprouting a bunch of sh…”
Flannery whacked him on the arm interrupting him yet again, “Maker, forgive us! Watch your mouth, idiot!”
Adamarus took a drink to hide his smile. He had heard enough. He had intended to come to Bugs’ rescue, but he could see Bugs was holding his own. He snuck away from their table and headed back to his own.
---
Day One…
Large indirect lighting fixtures were mounted on the rounded ceiling of the huge domed room. They bathed everything in a soft light and cast indeterminate shadows in all directions. The eight newly overhauled and decorated elevators opened inside a large well-appointed granite and marble building which stood in the center of the atrium.
The main area set aside for the meetings was a large auditorium like affair in front of the building. All of this was surrounded by a virtual forest – over a thousand trees and plants. Scattered among this foliage were fountains, waterfalls, reflection pools and meandering paths with benches. Around the outskirts of this forest, running along the bare armor walls, was a jogging trail.
The auditorium where observers would sit surrounded a large raised platform. On this platform sat a large circular wooden table with eighteen seats evenly spaced around it. Each seat had a workstation set into the dark wood table.
Being the leader of the President’s special team, Leewood's rank had been jumped up to Rear Admiral and he had been placed in charge of the meeting. He sat at the head of the table.
To his right sat Ed Fisher, the Secretary of State; Fleet Admiral Adamarus Maximus; General Earl Yuban; the General Chief of Staff, General Burnwall; Captain Radin Talvin; Mr. and Mrs. Eden; Ashley Hern, head of the Anderson Shipyard; Mary Olman, head of the Bernard Shipyard; and Wendell Warren, a billionaire representing Amular's industrial base. On Leewood’s left was Bugs’ avatar, representing the Loud; Dr. Lorraine Harrington, language specialist; Dr. Bradford Donnelly, astrophysicist; Dr. Gerald Van Loader, the reigning scientific genius; and finally, Jan Parker of Public Relations and Professor Floyd Woodworth, Historian.
Probably the biggest problem with this large and secret gathering had been Shelly White. President Wicker could not risk telling her about the approaching ship so she could not be let in on the meeting, not an easy chore. The President personally distracted her by having her put together another special on the attack on the Loud’s home system.
Above Leewood were three oversized telecommuting screens. On the left screen was Secretary of Defense, Lance Thornton; on the right was Vice President Newman, and on the center screen was President Wicker. Above the three screens was a single screen twice as large – on it would appear the current speaker. For now, it was blank.
About ten feet away from the circular conference table and running most of the way around it was a recess in the raised platform which held work areas for the aids of those at the table who had them.
At precisely 8:00AM, with everyone in place and seated, a chiming sound rang out silencing the soft sound of chatter. President Wicker’s face appeared on the larger display for speakers. “Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Hideaway Shipyard. I wish I was physically there with you, and I wish we were meeting under different circumstances. This opens a week full of daily meetings to discuss our plight and our options. It is our first council of war.” Wicker let that sink in. “It is significant that we did not have a single no-show, and although myself, Vice President Newman and Secretary of Defense Thornton have pressing matters keeping us planet side, I want to express my gratitude to each of you for making the long jo
urney through space; for many of you, a first time experience. I felt it important that all of you get a tour of the Hideaway Shipyard facilities.”
The President leaned forward, “Every single person who knows about the alien ship and its approach to our system is present here today. I don’t have to tell you how important it is that this information not leak to the public prematurely. The panic and uproar it would create would be counterproductive in the extreme. This information must be revealed to the public in the proper manner and at the proper time. Due to the importance of this, the penalty for such a treasonous act will also be extreme: Anyone caught revealing this information to anyone outside of those who already know will be, extenuating circumstances excepted, sentenced to permanent imprisonment.” The President paused to let this sink in. Immortality made “imprisoned for life” imprisoned forever.
He took a deep breath then continued in a strong voice, “I am confident that, with the help of the Loud, we will prevail despite the monumental hurdles and disadvantages we face.” Some applause broke out, but faded away. “We have much to do so I will now turn things over to Admiral Leewood so we can get started.”
Wicker’s face vanished from the large screen and Leewood’s appeared. “According to the official agenda, the first topic was to be a review of what our friends, the Loud, had accomplished so far in their plans for improving our defenses and weapons. However,” Leewood cleared his throat, “some new and disturbing facts have come to light.” He paused taking a breath. “As you know, the object is maintaining exact curves in its course and deceleration. Assuming this remains unchanged – and we have every reason to believe this—it is easy to project the status of our solar system, that is, the positions of all the planets when it arrives and as it passes through the inner system. Dr. Walters and his team at the Aster-Tritium Observatory put together computer models to determine this. The Loud double-checked his work by doing a separate study and they confirmed what Dr. Walters found. As you may be able to guess, it was not good. If I can direct your attention to the center hologram.”
The lights dimmed and midway between the conference table and the observer section, a large hologram formed showing the solar system with the sun in the middle. It was incorrectly scaled so that all six of the planets could be seen – their names flickered beside each—their orbits were indicated by blue lines. Leewood leaned forward, adjusted controls on his console and the holograph shrunk until the solar system’s planetary orbits were barely visible and a gray sphere came into view. The words ”Ice Cloud” appeared next to this. The ice cloud was a sphere that surrounded the solar system. It was made up of millions of chunks of ice left over from the creation of the planets. It was the source of all comets. Just outside of the ice cloud, a blinking red dot appeared. Next to it appeared the words “Black Hole.” Also, a date appeared below the hologram.
Leewood made another adjustment and the date started changing and the holograph came to life. The planets orbited the sun and the red dot started moving inward. The dot passed through the ice cloud and then Leewood paused the hologram and everything froze. Instantly pandemonium broke out in the observers section.
Leewood used the chime to restore order. “Yes, that’s right…that’s right,” he said, his voice far gloomier than he intended, “and of course we should have anticipated this particular problem. The black hole will be the size of a gas giant when it passes through the ice cloud. As you know, the ice cloud that surrounds our solar system contains millions of comets—chunks of ice from fist sized to planet sized, matter left over from the formation of our solar system. As you’ve surmised, the black hole’s gravitational field will drag hundreds, perhaps thousands of these comets in behind it and disrupt perhaps millions more, eventually sending a large part of these in-system. The first wave of comets will arrive within the inner system about three years after the object arrives, but arrive they will, and presuming we survive the object’s passage, we will have these deadly chunks of ice flying around all over the place. Projections indicate that every planet, including Amular, will be hit multiple times. Then more will come on a regular basis. Indications are that Amular will be hit at least half a dozen times with comets large enough to cause extinction events.” Noise from the assembly had been increasing steadily and Leewood used the chime to restore order again. “However, as bad as this is, I’m afraid…it gets worse.” Stunned silence followed.
“I again direct your attention to the overhead holographic display…” he restarted the simulation, the clock ran forward, the red dot continued moving along the perfect arch the black hole/ship would take. The view zoomed in showing the inner system with dots representing the planets following their age-old orbits around the sun. The object aligned with the elliptic as it passed through the orbit of Farnom—the most distant gas giant. The planet itself was far away, almost on the other side of the sun. Then, in silent horror, they watched as the red dot approached the orbit of Aster, the system’s largest gas giant, and Aster made its way along its orbital path—it was obvious that the two would come close. Then the red dot met with and merged with Aster! The assembly was stunned. The gasp was audible. This was utter disaster.
But the hologram did not pause and the red dot continued on for that was not the end of it. Almost immediately it was easy to see that as it approached the next gas giant’s orbit – that of Serena, the second largest gas giant and about three quarters the size of Aster – it would once again meet and merge with that planet as well. When it did, Leewood paused the hologram and again mayhem broke out throughout the room. It took over five minutes to calm the assembly this time.
Finally, Leewood said, “The black hole will not actually hit either planet, but Aster’s thirty-six moons and rings, as well as Serena’s twenty-two moons, will be disrupted. The gravitational disruption will strip many of the moons from their orbits and fling them across the solar system. In addition, when the black hole passes Aster, it will do so very closely – within Aster’s rings, in fact. Our best guess…there is a fifty percent chance that Aster itself will be destabilized, possibly coming apart, possibly exploding.” For the third time chaos spread across the assembly, but there was no hope of regaining control this time.
---
Day two…
On the second day, they got right to the subject of how the Loud, with their advanced sciences and technologies, could help with defenses and improve weapons. After the revelations of the previous day, the assembly was subdued, morale was low, and a feeling of hopelessness and inadequacy had settled over the group. Seeing this, Bugs started by saying that solutions for both the comets and the moons of the gas giants existed. This went a long way in restoring morale. Bugs studiously avoided the subject of the stability of their largest gas giant, Aster.
The avatar spent the morning discussing improvements that could be made to engines, missiles and to the maser and laser cannons mounted on the battleships and fighters. These improvements were very impressive and everyone went to lunch with renewed sprits. After lunch, the discussion turned to orbital fortresses. These could only be discussed in broad terms as designs had not yet been drawn up. A panel was selected and assigned to begin deliberations on planning and design. Finally, after the 3:00 p.m. break, they got to the subject of the bomb.
Everyone knew that the bomb was their only possible salvation from the moons and comets that the alien’s arrival would send flying around the solar system.
“The next topic on the agenda is the subject of explosive devices,” Leewood announced. “The last request made to the Loud was that they, using their advanced technology, come up with a plan for the most powerful bomb that they could create.” He looked up at the observers section, “At their last meeting, Adamarus made the request…” he looked back at the avatar, “and…” he extended his hand out, palm upward towards the Loud and raised his eyebrows, “Bugs, you came up with an answer, yes?”
The avatar stood calmly, looked at Leewood and said, “No.” Then i
t leaned forward and busied itself at its access console.
Around the avatar everyone froze. Leewood looked around helplessly for a second then he stood uncertainly. His mouth parted to say something, but whatever it was wouldn’t come out, so he just stood that way, mouth open, eyes looking curiously at the Loud.
Adamarus saw immediately what was happening. Slowly over the months of his discussions with Bugs, Adamarus had figured out a little quirk with Loud/human communications. He should have sent out a memo or something, he chided himself, as he got to his feet. Leewood had inadvertently phrased his last sentence in just such a way that the Loud had been thrown off as had happened to Adamarus from the very first day. At first Adamarus had thought that it was a problem with the translator, but slowly he had figured out that, if before asking the question you mentioned something that happened in the past, this set the timeframe for the question! Leewood had done this by stating just before his question that Adamarus had made the request at the last meeting. Therefore, Bug had interpreted the question to be ‘You came up with an answer at the last meeting,’ which had not been the case.”
Disregarding protocol, Adamarus said in a strong voice, “The Loud has misinterpreted your question, Mr. Chairman. It thinks you stated that the Loud had had the solution on the same day that the request was made.” Adamarus waved his hands, brushing the incident aside, “Let’s move on.” Adamarus turned and directed his voice towards the avatar, “Do you have a solution today?”
“Yes,” the avatar answered. It had stopped what it had been doing to watch and listen to Adamarus. It cocked its head as if attempting to determine what had happened, then went back to what it had been doing.
Adamarus sat back down. Everyone was looking at him curiously…as well they should, he thought. He made a quick note to explain this quirk. As he leaned back, he suddenly frowned…alarms had started going off in the back of his mind. Bugs had started speaking and Adamarus tried to focus on both the Loud and what was bothering him, but whatever had set off the alarms had slipped away. He shrugged and focused on the Loud.
Encounters 1: The Spiral Slayers Page 30
