Yikes. Why did that firm voice just do things for her?
“I’m not supposed to lie.”
“That’s right. No lying. Do you want Piggles? The truth, please.” He might have said please, but she knew an order when she heard one.
“You won’t think I’m weird?”
“Jelly bean, I’m a Daddy Dom, remember? Of course I don’t think it’s weird. If you need ten stuffed toys to sleep with then that’s what you need. Might need a bigger bed, though, and you’re not allowed to cuddle them more than you do me.” He winked at her.
Her shoulders slumped in relief. “Then yes, please.”
It wasn’t long until he returned with Piggles. “Yay, Piggles,” she said with a big grin as she saw the pig.
Okay, maybe she was learning to be more relaxed about this stuff around Caleb.
“Think he missed you too,” Caleb said as he walked over with the toy. He brushed Piggles over her face then down her neck, hitting her ticklish spots.
She giggled. “Don’t, no! I’m ticklish!”
“I remember,” he said wickedly as he continued to tickle her.
“No, Daddy! No!”
She froze. Oh shit. Did she really just call him that? She forced herself to look at him despite her embarrassment. Satisfaction filled his face.
He handed her Piggles then grabbed hold of her chin, tilting her face up. “I love hearing you call me that. Never be ashamed of your needs. Because all I want to do is give you what you need.”
“Oh yeah? Then how come you guys keep threatening to spank me,” she said, trying to lighten the mood. “I don’t need a spankin’.”
“Yes, you do. You need to know that someone is watching out for you. That they won’t let you get away with this self-destructive behavior you exhibit.”
“I’m not self-destructive.”
“Maybe that’s the wrong word. Self-sacrificing. Yes, that’s it. You don’t know your own worth. We’re here to change that. Now, do you need a light on at night?”
“Umm, won’t it keep you awake?”
“Nah, jelly bean. I’m good. I’ll leave the bathroom light on with the door half-closed. Have to remember to tell Wolfe to order a nightlight. I’ll brush my teeth then I’ll be out.”
Nerves flooded her as she realized he’d soon be in bed with her. She started to sing a silly song.
“Piggles, Caleb’s through that door. Piggles, I hope you don’t snore.”
“Does he usually snore?” Caleb drawled.
She gasped and dropped Piggles then picked him up and held him tight before she dove under the covers.
“Are you hiding, jelly bean?”
“I just can’t stop embarrassing myself.”
The blanket was whipped back and before she could try to move, he grabbed her under the armpits and gently tugged her up and against him. Then reaching down, he drew the blanket over them.
Aleki had turned the air-conditioning down before bed because he said he couldn’t sleep unless it was close to freezing so the blanket was needed. Caleb held her against his chest and tucked the blanket around her.
Then he kissed her forehead. “I think you’re adorable. And you don’t have anything to be embarrassed about.”
“Easy for you to say, you don’t make mistakes.”
“I make lots of mistakes,” he told her as he started to massage her scalp. “Nobody is perfect.”
“You’re close.” She yawned.
“No, I’m not.”
“Yeah?” she asked, as she felt sleep closing in on her. “What’s the biggest mistake you have ever made?”
“Letting go of you. Now, go to sleep, jelly bean.”
“Yes, Daddy.”
* * *
Caleb watched her for the longest time. He was exhausted and he knew he needed sleep but he couldn’t seem to tear his gaze from her. As though worried she might disappear on him.
He was tempted to pinch himself like she often did, to make sure he wasn’t dreaming.
Had he imagined her whispering yes, Daddy to him as she drifted off? Maybe. Maybe not. He was certain her Little was in there. She just had to relax enough to let her free.
And he’d wait. He was patient.
He’d never slept holding a woman before. But this, this felt so right that he couldn’t bear to let her go.
She was his. Theirs.
Perfect.
23
Evil laughter. A hood over her head. Gasping for breath.
She couldn’t breathe. She was going to suffocate. It was so dark. So dark.
Help me!
You’ll do what you’re told or the people you love with suffer.
No. No. Aleki! Caleb! Wolfe!
She had to protect them! She couldn’t risk them!
“Baby! Baby, wake up!”
“Nooo,” she cried out. “Leave them alone. Don’t hurt them! Please, don’t hurt them!”
She fought the arms that surrounded her, knowing they would harm her. They’d take her back to him. The scary man.
“No, please!”
“Jelly bean, it’s me. Open your eyes. It’s Caleb.”
She started to jerk, trying to get breath into her lungs. She couldn’t breathe.
“You’re trapped in a nightmare. Jelly bean, stop fighting me. You’re going to hurt yourself.” Hands were wrapped around her wrists, making her cry out in fear as she attempted to fight back.
Too strong.
He would hurt her.
“What’s going on?” Aleki asked.
“Fuck, Vivi. Open your eyes and look at me!” Caleb demanded.
“Why was she screaming?” Wolfe asked.
“She was having a nightmare, now she’s having a panic attack!”
She’d never heard Caleb sound like that. So scared. Because of her?
“Wolfe, go into the playroom and get a blanket to wrap her. Vivi, please, please breathe.”
She needed to get away. She wrenched her body right and left.
Then Aleki started singing. It was their song.
She stopped fighting. But her heart was still racing in fear. Her breaths came in huge pants. As though she was having a panic attack.
Was she having a panic attack?
“It’s okay, jelly bean. Just breathe. I’m here. Aleki is here. Wolfe is here. Nothing will happen to you with us around.”
Aleki kept singing in the background. She managed to open her eyes, looking up into Caleb’s worried blue ones.
“That’s it, jelly bean. I’m here.”
“C-C-Caleb. I f-f-feel…” like she couldn’t catch a breath. Like her heart was going to race out of her chest.
“Easy, jelly bean. We’re gonna try swaddling you, okay? If you don’t like it, say boo and I’ll take you straight out.”
He laid her down on her back on the bed then wrapped something tight around her, trapping her arms. For a moment, her panic increased.
He paused, checked on her. “Okay?”
She nodded her head.
“Good girl. Remember, if you don’t like it, say boo and I’ll take you out.”
She nodded again. Surprisingly, she started to feel calmer as he wrapped over the other side. Or maybe it was Aleki’s singing.
Or perhaps it was simply being around them.
She closed her eyes then felt herself being lifted and carried in Caleb’s arms.
“C-Caleb?”
“You’re okay, jelly bean. Daddy has you. I’m taking you to the playroom.”
Playroom? Oh, right, he’d talked about that before. She hadn’t seen it though. This was surprisingly nice. It seemed weird. She thought she would panic more. Except, she knew where she was. She was with the guys. They wouldn’t hurt her.
And if she was held tightly in the swaddle then she didn’t have choices. She didn’t have to think.
Just be.
Caleb walked into a room. Moonlight shone in, giving her a slight glimpse of what the room held. A bed with a thick canopy
above it, hanging down. A desk with a chair.
But she didn’t see much more as Caleb headed straight to a rocking chair in the corner. He sat with her on his lap.
Had she ever felt so cared for in her life? So coddled and cherished?
If she had, she’d been too young to remember. With a sigh, she relaxed against him. He started rocking the chair. Aleki sat on the floor next to them, still singing. Her heartbeat slowed.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered.
“Hush, don’t talk,” Caleb said gently. But there was a definite firmness in his tone. “We’re here. You’re not alone. You don’t have to do everything. You don’t have to protect us. Just rest your head and be.”
Her eyes started to close. “Wolfe. Where’s Wolfe?”
“He’s coming. He’s getting you something to drink. Just rest. Don’t think. Rest.”
“Here, I made her a hot chocolate.”
Had he remembered hot chocolate was her favorite? Or had he just thought she’d want one to help her sleep? She peered at the bottle he handed Caleb with confusion. Why had he put the hot chocolate in a bottle?
Maybe because you can’t exactly drink out of a mug.
Even if she wasn’t swaddled up like a babe, she didn’t think she’d be able to stop shaking enough to hold a hot drink in her hands.
Then she got a good look at the bottle. With the big nipple on the end.
Oh no.
Really?
“That’s a baby’s bottle.”
“It’s for a big Little girl,” Wolfe said matter-of-factly. “I bought some things and had them delivered from a shop in the city in case your Little was that young.”
“She’s not. Or I don’t think she is. Maybe. I don’t really know.”
“Easy, jelly bean,” Caleb said soothingly. He continued to rock her back and forth. “Don’t overthink it tonight. Just let us take care of you. We can reset in the morning. But for now, just be.”
Just be.
She wanted that so much. She slumped against him and nodded. “All right.”
“That’s my good girl,” he murmured to her. Then to her shock, he put the nipple of the bottle in his mouth, tipped his head back, and took a sip. He must have sensed her surprise. “Just checking the temperature.”
“As if I’d hand over something that might burn her,” Wolfe growled, obviously insulted.
“You’re right. Sorry, man. Open, jelly bean.”
He placed the nipple of the bottle in her mouth. She took a pull. For a moment it was weird. But as she continued to suck and warm, sweet hot chocolate filled her mouth, she felt herself growing sleepy.
It was kind of nice.
And for the first time in years. She felt well and truly safe.
24
Lying on the bed, she stared up at the ceiling.
For the past three days, she’d done nothing but rest and eat. Every time she’d tried to bring up something about her father or anything to do with her relationship with them, the guys had changed the subject.
She chewed her lower lip.
Maybe they’re regretting bringing you here?
She rubbed at her temples, feeling a headache starting to develop. She forced herself to relax her jaw. She knew they were trying to keep her from worrying about anything. But the not knowing was worse. Wondering what her father was doing. If he was looking for her. If anyone was looking for her. What would everyone think when she wasn’t at the funeral? Not for the first time, she wondered if she should contact her uncle.
Urgh. She couldn’t just lie here and stress. She flung back the bed covers. Wolfe had set up a schedule which included daily afternoon naps. But she wasn’t interested in napping. She was going to worry herself into an ulcer if she stayed in this bed any longer.
She knew the guys were just trying to follow the doctor’s orders. They were taking care of her. It was sweet and somewhat stifling. But she was feeling much better. Right now, what she needed was to stop thinking.
Slowly, she stood, resting her weight on her sore foot. They were still carrying her everywhere. It would be nice to move around on her own. Or to not have someone help her in and out of the bath.
Cautiously, she took another step. It wasn’t too bad. Hobbling to the door, she opened it and peered out. Nobody was around. Surprising.
Moving into the passage, she realized she had no idea where she was going. She walked past the door to the playroom and paused.
Perhaps this was her chance to do some exploring. Biting her lip, she opened the door and limped inside, shutting the door behind her. What to look at first? Should she even touch anything? What if they’d met someone else? Stolen her and brought her here? Then this would be some other girl’s room.
She growled at the thought.
Okay, so not only was she possessive of the guys, she was feeling possessive of a playroom?
You’re being silly. She moved further into the room and carefully sat on a bean bag next to a bookshelf filled with children’s books. It would be nice to sit here and read.
Or have someone read to her.
On the bottom shelf were some coloring books and pens. She picked up one of the books and a box of pens.
Lots of adults enjoyed doing this sort of thing, right? So it wasn’t weird for her to color. Was it? She opened up the book, flicking through the pages until she found one of a puppy licking an ice cream.
This looked like fun.
She’d never have dreamed of doing this while she lived with William or her father. She’d never known when one of them would walk in. And they’d have been horrified. Image was everything.
She started coloring in the dog’s face. She was concentrating so hard she didn’t hear the door open.
“Ahh, here you are,” Caleb said.
She glanced up in shock, the pen going straight across the page, through the ice-cream. “Oh no, I ruined it.”
He walked in quietly. “Ruined what?”
“The picture. Look. There’s brown marker through the ice cream. Now I have to start a new picture!”
“Why?” he asked calmly, kneeling next to her.
She held up the picture. “Because it’s not perfect.”
His face softened. “It doesn’t have to be perfect, jelly bean.”
“But . . . but . . . it doesn’t?” she asked.
“Of course not. It can be whatever you want it to be. If you want to color outside the lines, you can. Or make the ice-cream brown and the puppy blue. That’s up to you.”
“But puppies can’t be blue.”
“They can if you want them to be. It’s your picture. Do what you like.”
She rubbed at her eye with her hand. “I’m so tired of being perfect. Of having to look perfect. Act perfect. I was a doll who they molded into the perfect puppet, stuck in a fortress built on lies.”
“Hey. Look at me.” He waited until her gaze hit his. “I don’t think you’re perfect.”
“You don’t?”
A grin twitched at his lips. “Nope. In fact, I know you’re not perfect.”
“I might be perfect,” she told him haughtily. “You don’t know how I’ve changed in the last eight years.”
“Sing ‘Mary had a Little Lamb’,” he said to her bizarrely.
She started singing and he shook his head with a wince.
“Nope, you still can’t sing for shit,” he told her.
“Caleb!” She gave him a shocked look. Then she had to smile.
“Say Peter Piper had a pickled pepper, ten times really fast,” he said to her.
She tried. She really did but around the fourth time she completely messed it up. She giggled.
“Pat your head and rub your belly.”
“I can do that!” she protested. She showed him.
“You’re patting your head and your belly,” he told her.
“Nuh-huh,” she laughed.
“Uh-huh. Now, I’d ask you to demonstrate your ability to make a lemon meringue
pie but last time you set the oven on fire.”
“That wasn’t my fault.”
“Oh, so you’re saying it was the oven’s fault.” He nodded seriously. “Fair enough. Would you like to demonstrate your lemon meringue pie making ability?”
She bit her lip. “That’s a pass.”
“I thought so. And let’s not even start with your shoelace tying.”
“Hey, that’s a low blow. I tie a shoelace just fine, it’s everyone else who does it wrong.”
“Oh, is that so, brat?” He leaned in to tickle her and she laughed so hard she snorted.
“More proof! You don’t laugh perfectly either.” He continued to tickle at her sides. Damn him! He knew all of her worst spots. She tried to shove herself away.
“Careful! Don’t jolt your arm.”
Well, she wouldn’t jolt it if he wasn’t tickling her!
“Mercy! Mercy!” she cried.
He drew back, grinning at her. “So what were all those complaints about having to be perfect?”
Her smile dimmed. “I had to pretend to be perfect.”
“For William and your father?”
She nodded. “Anytime I messed up, my father would lose it. He’d berate me. Sometimes William would join in. It. . .wasn’t nice.”
“Wasn’t nice, huh? I’m thinking that’s an understatement. You realize that if everyone was perfect that we wouldn’t laugh or cry or get angry or feel joy, right? Life would be pretty damn boring.”
“Wolfe would like it.”
“Wolfe has issues that go a long way back. He’s taught himself to control his emotions, that doesn’t mean that they’ve disappeared. You have to be patient with him, all of this is something new to him. I know he’s obsessed with what you eat and keeping you on a schedule, it’s his way of controlling things. And showing he cares.”
“I know. I’m not upset by it.”
“Do you know that he fully expected to be kept in the background when we found a woman that we wanted to have a relationship with?”
She didn’t like the idea of them with anyone else, but she didn’t have a right to get upset at the idea. She’d been married to someone else. “What do you mean? In the background?”
“He thought she’d be ashamed to be seen with him.”
Ruled by her Daddies Page 20
