by Nina Levine
Those beautiful eyes of his flashed with amusement again. “Fairly sure you bring that out in me,” he murmured. I had no idea what he meant but didn’t ask him to elaborate. At that point, I just wanted to cash my chips in and get another drink. Alone.
“Are you here looking for another biker to send to hell?” Memories of the night we met at this casino filled my mind. It was just over three weeks ago and yet it felt like I’d known Nitro a hell of a lot longer.
“Smartass,” he muttered, but he wasn’t scowling at me. He actually appeared to be in a great mood. Well, as much as I assumed Nitro could experience a great mood.
When he didn’t give me anything else, I said, “Okay, well, I’ll let you get on with whatever it is you’re doing.”
As I took a step away from him, his fingers snapped around my wrist and he stopped me. “What I’m doing here is you, Vegas.” His voice took on a husky tone, the kind of tone that hit a woman right in the belly and caused her brain to stop working.
I stilled and my breathing slowed. “Me?” It was a dumb question because he’d made his reason clear, but I needed the extra time to collect my thoughts.
He nodded, his eyes boring into mine.
When I didn’t speak, he moved his mouth to my ear. “Let me buy you a drink.”
I stared at him in confusion. Nitro asking me to let him do something seemed way out of character. Narrowing my eyes, I said, “What do you want?” He had to be after something more than just sex.
“I thought I made that clear.”
“I thought so, too, until you asked me to let you buy me a drink. Now I figure it must be about more than just sex.” I pointed a finger at him. “I swear to God, Nitro, if Storm want something out of me, they—”
He dropped his mouth to mine and silenced me with a kiss. And Jesus Christ, not just any kiss, this one cracked my soul wide open with its intensity. When Nitro kissed, he fucking claimed you. He used his mouth to say all the things he didn’t say with his words.
His hands slid along the sides of my face so he could push his fingers into my hair. Taking hold of me, he bent me to his will. His body pressed against mine while he deepened the kiss. Tongues collided and breath was stolen. My senses were consumed completely by this man who bewildered me with his complexity. One minute I hated him, the next I wanted to know every damn thing about him. I wanted to slap him, kiss him, yell at him, comfort him, understand him, tell him to fuck off. But in that moment all I wanted to do was kiss him forever.
When he ended the kiss, he said, “Why the fuck do you always have to argue with me? When I say I want something, I want it. I don’t play games and I don’t do shit in order to get something else out of it.” The honesty blaring from his eyes grew deeper if that was even possible. “I want to fuck you, simple as that.”
Breathless, I pressed harder against him. “In that case, I don’t want a drink. I just want your cock.”
* * *
The last time I saw Nitro was two days prior when he collected guns from me. He’d asked if I was good. That was it. He’d certainly not given me any indication that he wanted to sleep with me. So I’d maintained my distance even though I hadn’t stopped thinking about him for three long weeks.
Standing in my hallway, watching him pull his shirt off before reaching for my waist and yanking me to him, I wondered how I’d missed his desire. It was clear as day in his eyes and it was sure as hell blaring from his body. After we arrived back at my place, he’d hardly let me out of his hold. His hands or his mouth were all over me, often all at once. It had taken him a good half hour to move us to the point of him removing his shirt because he hadn’t wanted to let my mouth go.
I placed my hands on his chest. “Things would move along a lot faster if you took my clothes off.”
He dipped his face and teased my mouth with his teeth, biting my lower lip before kissing me. “You in a hurry, Vegas?”
Fuck no, I wanted to drag this out for as many hours as possible. But I was eager for that cock of his. Trailing my fingers over his broad chest, I said, “We’ve got all night as far as I’m concerned, but the sooner we’re naked, the better.”
He grinned, surprising the hell out of me. I hadn’t seen a grin on Nitro’s face yet. I liked it. “You make a fucking good point.”
Stepping back, he assessed my body, as if he was contemplating something. Whatever it was passed quickly and then his hands went to my thighs. I wore a short red dress and his touch on my bare skin was electric. My eyes fluttered closed and I sucked in a breath when he slid his hands up my legs under my dress. Truth be told, I damn well stopped breathing for a moment.
“You like that?” His voice flooded my body with goosebumps.
Moving my hands from his chest to his waist to balance myself, I managed to say, “Don’t stop.”
“Wasn’t planning on it.”
His hands continued their exploration, pushing my dress up to expose my panties. I watched as his eyes zeroed in on them. Nitro might have been a man who held his thoughts and emotions close to his chest, but he sure as hell wasn’t a man who hid his need. I loved the effect I had on him—the way his nostrils flared as his breathing laboured, and the way he licked his lips while his gaze lingered on my breasts. Seeing it only caused my own need to blaze brighter.
He dropped to his knees and skimmed his fingers over my panties before slipping them under the fabric. His touch was exquisite and totally not what I expected from him. Nitro vibrated with a ferocious intensity—rage and violence rolled into one—that I thought sex with him would be a frenzy of rough moves and hard thrusts from the get-go. But he proved his unpredictability again.
I threaded my fingers in his hair, gripping tightly when he ran a finger along my entrance. A moan escaped my lips and a shudder ran through me. I glanced down as he bent his face to press his mouth to my panties. The powerful muscles in his back flexed sending another jolt of desire to every nerve ending of mine. There was something about the strength and fearlessness he possessed that spoke to me. Made me feel safe. Nitro seemed invincible and that was something I connected with on a deep level. I needed that armour surrounding me in life because I’d had mine stripped from me.
His mouth explored me through the thin material of my panties before he decided he didn’t want that barrier anymore. Strong fingers hooked over the top of them and a moment later they lay on the floor while Nitro’s mouth kissed my most sensitive place.
I swayed a little as he grasped my ass and ran his tongue around my clit. He then proceeded to alternate that with pushing his tongue inside me. Pleasure rushed at me and I had to focus hard on standing because his tongue was so damn talented my legs grew weak.
When a growl rumbled from him, vibrating through my pussy, I moaned loud and came. Hard as fuck. Nitro sure did know how to make a woman orgasm. And he also knew how to keep me guessing about what would come next. Before I’d come down from that high, he was on his feet and had me over his shoulder while he carried me to my bedroom.
“Fuck,” I muttered, caught off guard, but loving it nonetheless.
His hand connected with my bare ass, slapping me. “I hope you’re ready, Vegas.”
My legs squeezed together. I was more than ready. Touching his back, because hell, I could hardly stop myself from touching those muscles, I said, “Bring it. For the love of God, fucking bring it.”
We reached the bedroom and without slowing, he dropped me onto the bed and removed his boots and clothes. He moved so damn fast I had trouble keeping up. I warred with myself between begging him to slow down so I could take in all those divine muscles, and speeding it along to get to the good part.
Next minute, he was on top of me, taking my dress off. When it lay in a heap on the floor, he rested his arms either side of me on the bed, caging me in. His gaze traced my face before moving down my neck to my breasts. He ran his tongue between them, his eyes back on mine. “You taste so damn good. I want to lick every fucking inch of you.”
“You wouldn’t hear any complaints from me if you did.”
He licked me again and I trailed a finger along my skin following the line his tongue took. Still holding my gaze, he said, “You like touching yourself?”
I smiled and nodded. “I’ve had a lot of practice at it.”
That grin appeared on his face again, causing me to smile harder. Fuck, I loved it when he blessed me with that. “Show me.”
“To be clear, I prefer not to do it on my own.”
I cupped one of my breasts and jerked my chin down at it, letting him know he should join in. His grin died, replaced with a smouldering look that sent heat to my core. Dipping his face, he sucked the breast I held into his mouth. Swirling his tongue around my nipple, he found my gaze again and held it.
My fingers massaged my breast, moving closer to his mouth. When they almost met, he flicked his tongue out to lick them. He shifted on the bed so he could take hold of my hand and suck each finger into his mouth, one by one. Slowly. It was sexy as hell and I could have watched him do it for hours.
“You surprise me, Nitro.”
He stopped what he was doing and placed both hands back on the bed. Shifting so his face came to mine, he sucked on my bottom lip and said, “How?”
I ran my hand through his hair before sliding it down his neck and back. “I thought you’d be more demanding, rougher.”
Heat flashed in his eyes and he ground his cock against me. “Careful what you ask for,” he rasped.
My fingernails dug into his back. “You think I can’t handle rough?”
More heat flashed. Darker. Edgier. He shifted again, pulling me up effortlessly so that he knelt with me straddling him. With one hand around the back of my neck, grasping me tightly, and the other cupping my ass, he said, “I didn’t want to give you rough if you weren’t ready for it.”
I blinked.
“The rape?” It was barely a whisper, but he heard and nodded.
“Yeah.”
We stared at each other. The light in the room suddenly became too bright for me. I needed it off. I didn’t want him to see me. It was as if my soul was on display and he could see every inch of it.
Every crack.
Every wound.
Every flaw.
I pulled away, trying to scramble out of his hold, but he tightened his grip and held me in place. “Vegas,” he said with a shake of his head, his voice low. “Don’t.”
I wrapped my hands around his biceps. “Let me go, Nitro,” I demanded.
His nostrils flared. “I will if that’s what you really want. But one minute you’re telling me you can handle rough, the next you’re shutting down on me. I wanna know what gives. Was it because I brought up the rape?”
My heart beat so fucking fast I thought it would beat out of my chest. It wasn’t the damn rape, but I didn’t want to admit the truth to him. Fuck, I’d sound like an idiot if I admitted his thoughtfulness had gotten to me. I didn’t know what to do with kindness anymore. It confused me. Made me question shit because who the hell dealt in it anymore? And it made me feel more vulnerable than I could deal with. I didn’t want him to see all the things wrong with me.
I took a deep breath and tried to get my heart to slow down. Relaxing my body in his hold, I said, “I’m good. I just had a moment there. Sorry.”
I expected him to relax, too, and get back to where we were, but he didn’t. Again, catching me by surprise. He let me go and moved off the bed. Raking his fingers through his hair, he said, “Don’t fucking say sorry for something that wasn’t your fault, Tatum. Don’t ever do that.” His voice had so much emotion and force behind it that I wondered where it came from. It felt deep, like he’d lived it himself. Whatever it was.
I sucked in another deep breath, thinking about what he said. All the while, he stood in silence watching me. Waiting. Finally, I darted off the bed so I could turn the light off. Relief hit me instantly. Such an odd feeling. I never had an issue having the light on during sex, so I didn’t know where this was coming from.
I made my way back to where Nitro stood. Light filtered in from the hallway, but I had just enough darkness to feel comfortable. And I had enough light to make out the confusion on his face. All credit to him, though, he didn’t question my choice. He simply stood and waited for me to speak.
“Thank you,” I said softly, forcing myself to talk about something that made me want to curl into a ball and disappear.
“For what?” Still so gruff and demanding.
I wrapped my arms around me. Around my nakedness. As if covering that up would cover me up. “Fuck,” I muttered, stumbling over my feelings. Why was he forcing me to do this? He continued watching me intently, still waiting. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, for caring enough to take it into account.” I threw my words out there like they were a throwaway emotion when they were so far from that.
Nitro’s nostrils flared again and annoyance flashed across his face. But he dealt with whatever had pissed him off and regained control. Clenching his jaw, he said, “I want to kill that motherfucker over and over for what he did to you.” He reached out and smoothed a flyaway strand of my hair back behind my ear. His gesture startled me with its intimacy and gentleness. Especially when he appeared anything but gentle.
I curled my hand around his wrist hanging by his side. “I want that, too, but more for what he did to my brother,” I whispered.
It was true—while the rape had been awful, it hadn’t fucked me up as much as Chris’s murder. And the fact Nitro was the one who saved me meant I only viewed him as a protector, not as a man who might threaten me.
We stood in silence for a few more moments. Soaking in everything that had taken place. I’d expected none of it. And although I hadn’t shared with him how he made me feel exposed and vulnerable, I’d opened up more to him than to anyone in my life, besides Monroe.
He took a step away from me and I let his wrist go. When he reached for his jeans, I halted him. Finding his eyes, I said, “Stay.”
“I don’t think—”
I shook my head. I didn’t want sex. That wasn’t what this was about. “Just hold me. Please.”
His breaths slowed for a beat. He didn’t respond straight away and I thought he would say no. But then he nodded. “Okay.”
As I closed my eyes a little while later, with Nitro’s arms wrapping me in safety, I let out a breath I’d been holding for three weeks. A breath I hadn’t realised was trapped.
23
Nitro
“Pour Some Sugar On Me” by Def Leppard
Tatum was a furious sleeper. Both nights I’d slept with her in my arms, she’d tossed and turned like she was fighting demons. She’d also cried. Both nights. And had mumbled stuff about someone called Randall. I got the impression he was one of the demons she wanted to kill.
I woke before her and watched as she lay peacefully next to me. She’d finally stopped thrashing at around four and had been sleeping quietly for three hours. I wondered if she survived on that small amount of sleep each night and knew deep in my gut that she did. Tatum’s nightmares had her in their grips. The way she lived her life told that part of her story.
Unable to stop myself, I traced her lips. Kissing that mouth was high on my priority list, but I wanted her awake for that. She snuggled against me, a smile flitting across her face. She flung her arm across my chest and buried her face into my side. Fuck, she was softer like this and my dick hardened more than it already was. I was attracted to her fierce side, but this softness called to the part of me that wanted to take care of those in my life. The part of me that never wanted anyone to hurt the way my life had.
Selfishly, I ran my hand over her bare ass and spread her legs so that one of them hooked over mine. I wanted to touch her every-fucking-where but wouldn’t until she signalled that was what she also wanted. The restraint this took caused me physical pain. When she mumbled something and lifted her head, relief flooded me.
“Nitro,” she murmured and I g
ot a kick out of the smile in her voice.
Smoothing her hair, I said, “Morning, Vegas.”
She smiled and shifted some more, pressing her body harder against mine as she did so. “I thought you’d be gone by now.”
I frowned. “Why?”
“Most do.” Her words fell out absently while she trailed her fingers over my chest.
I had no right to feel what I did over that statement, but I couldn’t help myself. I didn’t like that she slept with other men, but she wasn’t mine and never would be so I let that go. “I’m not most.”
Her smile grew and her fingers skated along my jaw before reaching for my lips. Lifting herself up, she straddled me and bent to place a kiss on my mouth. “That, you are not.” She stared down at me thoughtfully. “You’re a fucking contradiction, is what you are. I never know what I’m going to get with you.”
I cupped her ass. “You ready to finish what we started last night?”
Her eyes flared with heat and she drove my dick wild when she bit her lip. “Yeah.” She slid her body down mine so she lay on top of me. “And Nitro?”
I dug my fingers into her ass cheeks, eager as fuck to get inside her. God, how I fucking needed to be there. “Yeah?”
Her eyes held mine. “I’m ready as hell for your kind of rough.”
I was done.
At the edge.
Nothing would hold me back after that invitation.
I pushed up, my arm tight around her, and flipped us. Once she was under me, I gripped her legs roughly and spread them wide. Positioning my mouth at her pussy, I took what I’d been thinking about half the damn night, and I took it the way I’d wanted to the last time I’d sampled her.
It was a frenzy of need and urgency as my tongue worked her pussy. I held nothing back, giving her a glimpse of what fucking me would be like.
My rhythm was jagged.
The pleasure I delivered, bruising.
Sex was how I dealt with life. I brought all my confusion, hurt, and rage with me and for the hours I was with a woman, handed them to her. Most never came back for seconds. I was too much for them.
