by Nina Levine
I nodded. Taking a deep breath in an effort to stop more tears, I said, “I did this to myself. Everything I don’t have now is my own fault. I was stupid to fall for someone like Randall. Stupid to think he would give me the things I was desperate for. And even dumber for wanting those things in the first place. I threw my career away for nothing.”
“Fuck, Tatum,” he started. “We do crazy shit for our family sometimes. Anything to make them happy. You weren’t stupid to fall for someone. He’s the asshole in all this.”
More tears fell. I couldn’t hold them in any longer. “He didn’t even call when Chris died…. I don’t know what I expected, but I thought no matter what had happened between us, he might care enough to check on me. I guess I know once and for all how much he actually cared about me.”
“Why was Chris murdered?” he asked quietly.
“He was involved in some bad shit. Mostly car theft. He ran with a gang from the time he was fifteen and just got deeper and deeper into shit. I tried to get him out, but it was ingrained in him. He went off the rails when he was nineteen, mentally, and after that, he just never seemed to get his life together. Had delusions of being untouchable. He went into direct opposition with Silver Hell, selling stolen cars cheaply. They didn’t like it because he was undercutting them. In the end, they solved their problem by killing him.”
“Fuck,” he muttered. “Are your parents still alive?”
I shook my head. “No. Dad passed away nine years ago, and Mum died from breast cancer last year. Just before Chris died.”
His eyes filled with sorrow and he wiped my tears as they fell harder. His touch was so tender. Full of care. When my tears didn’t subside, he pulled me into his arms and held me until I stopped crying. Nitro’s embrace was everything I’d never had from a man in my life. My father had been so busy providing for our family that his time had been scarce. He’d also been preoccupied with desperately trying to figure out how to get my mother to love him as much as he did her, which meant his emotional capacity was stretched thin when it came to his kids. And as far as my ex-husband was concerned, I couldn’t recall a time he’d ever comforted me the way Nitro was. My nightmare slayer.
* * *
I stood in the doorway to my bedroom and leant against the doorjamb watching Nitro put on his boots. He’d woken me an hour earlier with a hard-on that needed taking care of, but we’d been interrupted when King had called asking him to meet in an hour. We’d taken care of that hard-on, but it had been faster than either of us had wanted because, with traffic, he’d be pushing it to meet King on time.
“Here,” I said, pushing off from the doorjamb and shoving a thermos at him.
He stood and closed the distance between us. “Coffee?”
“Yeah, figured I didn’t get time to cook you breakfast so I’d make coffee for your drive.”
Taking the thermos, he said, “Since when do you cook me breakfast, woman?”
Woman.
That word and the way it rolled off his tongue hit every single nerve ending in my body. Before I knew it, my arms were looped around his neck and my body was pressed up against his. “There’s a first time for everything. Maybe tomorrow if you’re lucky.”
A sexy smile made its way across his face and his hand curved over my ass. Slowly. The kind of slow that made my vagina roll over and beg for mercy. But there would be no mercy that morning. He had to get to work. “You a good cook, Vegas?”
I gripped the back of his neck. “You better believe it. You won’t know whether you want me to open my legs or my cookbook.”
Heat flared in his eyes and he moved his mouth to my ear. “Pussy always trumps food.”
I unhooked my hands from around his neck and let him go. This was moving into dangerous territory. “You should leave before I try and stop you.”
“Yeah,” he said gruffly. Grabbing his keys, he made his way to the front door. As he reached for the handle, his phone rang. “What’s up, Dustin?” he answered the call, pulling the door open.
I followed him outside to his ute, catching pieces of the conversation.
“No, I can’t come home right now and help you. I’ve gotta get to work,” he said. I picked up that Dustin was stressing over something and Nitro was attempting to calm him down.
I placed my hand on his forearm to draw his attention. When I had it, I said, “Is he okay? Can I help?”
Nitro stared at me for a beat, contemplating what I said before nodding. “Dustin, give me a sec.” He moved the phone away from his mouth to say to me, “He’s got a job interview this morning and is stressing. Have you got time to go and talk him down?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
“Thanks.” He ended his call with Dustin, promising I’d be there soon. Yanking the door to his ute open, he said, “Thanks for that. He’s always a mess when he has an interview. Usually I’m there to calm him.”
I loved how he was there for his family. Moving into him, my lips found his, lingering there not wanting to let him go. “I’ll talk him through it.”
He watched me for a moment, his arm resting on the top of the door. It seemed like he was mulling something over, but all he ended up saying was, “Appreciate it.” And then he closed the door, kicked over the engine and reversed out of the driveway.
I kept my gaze on his ute until I couldn’t see it anymore. Wrapping my arms around my body, I headed back inside. The fact he trusted me to help his brother didn’t escape my attention. I wondered how many others he allowed into his life in that way?
* * *
“Right, tell me about this interview,” I said to Dustin as I dumped my bag on Nitro’s kitchen table a little while after he’d called for help.
He paced nervously and stared at me with a desperate look of fear. “What do you want to know?”
I smiled, trying to gain his trust. I’d never seen anyone so scared about a job interview before. “What’s the job?”
“It’s for a cleaning job at a school.”
“And have you done that kind of work before?”
He twisted his hands together. “Yes.”
“Great! So you’ve got experience. That will look good for you.” I glanced at the table, looking for a resume. “Have you got a resume?”
His eyes widened. “Shit! Yes… no. Oh, fuck, Tatum….”
I moved to him and placed my hands on his shoulders. “Breathe, Dustin. Deep breath in, then out.”
He nodded and did what I said, taking a deep breath. On an exhale, he said, “I don’t know where it is.”
“What time is the interview?”
“Eleven thirty.”
It was only just after eight. “Okay, this is what we’re gonna do. You’re going to follow me to my work and we’re going to type up a new resume for you. We’ll print it there and then you can drive to your interview.”
His breaths were coming faster, and I wasn’t convinced he would get through this hiccup. But he nodded his agreement.
I brought out my stern voice. The one I often used on my girls when they were having a moment at work. “You’ve made it through the first hurdle, Dustin. Getting an interview is hard these days. So, pull up your panties and let’s get this shit done, because you’re going to kick ass at this interview. And I’m going to make sure you have the best resume to impress them with.”
His eyes widened again, and I thought we might have a problem for sure, but he ended up grinning and moving into action.
As I followed him out of Nitro’s house, I realised it was the second day in a row that I was going to work with a smile on my face.
31
Nitro
“The Story” by Brandi Carlile
I stared at Joseph as he entered King’s office. Bewildered, I turned to King. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding! He’s who you wanna buy fucking guns off?”
King had called me in early to meet with him, Hyde, and a potential new supplier. The last person I’d expected to see walk through that door was my
fucking uncle.
“You two know each other?” King asked, looking between us.
“He’s my fucking uncle, and I’ll be fucked if I work with him,” I thundered.
Joseph’s mouth spread out into a thin line as he regarded me with irritation. “My nephew always was overdramatic.”
I clenched my teeth, fists, and every fucking part of my body because it all strained to lash out and punch the motherfucker. Or choke the life out of him. His memories were clearly distorted. I’d never lived an overdramatic moment in my life. He made sure of that.
King’s face wrinkled with confusion. His gaze swung to me. “I didn’t know you had any other family.”
I turned to Joseph and shot a hate-filled glare his way. “As far as I’m concerned, I don’t.”
Before anyone could speak again, Joseph cut in. “This has got nothing to do with family. This is purely business, gentlemen. I have the weapons you need and, as discussed, I’m happy to lower my price for the first six months’ worth of shipments if we agree to a twelve-month term to begin with.”
Hyde whistled as scepticism filled his expression. “That’s a sweet deal. What do you get out of it?”
“I’m looking to do more business in Sydney. You’d be my first client.”
Hyde crossed his arms over his chest. “Yeah, but what do you really get out of it, because us being your first client isn’t much to gain in exchange for six months of cheap guns.”
Joseph’s vein ticked in his temple. No one in the room besides me understood that tick, though. Probably didn’t even see it either. He was pissed, and I guessed it was because Hyde had hit the nail on the fucking head. “You can bet your ass he’s got an ulterior motive,” I threw out.
All eyes came to me.
Joseph’s features darkened, but he held his shit together. He always had been good at doing that. Except when I pushed him too far and he showed me just what us Lockwood’s were capable of. “I do have an ulterior motive. I own Melbourne when it comes to guns and have done so for fifteen years. New players are coming into the market, and while I’d prefer not to have the competition, I can’t stop it. So, I’ve chosen to expand to keep my business running. And I see Storm as a potential ally. This deal is my way of fostering that relationship.”
I watched in disbelief as King and Hyde seemed to buy that crock of shit. But I held my tongue. Better to wait for him to leave to have this out with them.
“Okay, Joseph, leave it with us. We’ll discuss this and get back to you soon,” King said.
As Joseph left, he handed me a business card. “My phone number, son, for when you come to your senses.”
I took the card, but only because he thrust it upon me before I registered what he said. He was delusional if he thought I’d use it.
Once he left the office, I turned to King and Hyde. “We can’t use him.”
King settled against the desk and crossed his feet in front of him. “Why not?”
“That bullshit about expanding in Sydney to save his business is a lie. If a deal with him seems too good to be true, it is.”
“I take it you’re not close to him?” King said.
I shook my head. “Haven’t been for nineteen years and don’t intend to be ever again.”
“What happened?” Hyde asked.
This was a story I never wanted to revisit. However, I had to give them something, a piece of it at least, to make them understand how evil Joseph was. “You know much about him and his business?”
“I know that he’s built a fucking empire from nothing,” King said. “And that he’s known to be a ruthless motherfucker.”
“Yeah, well, that empire he built from nothing? It came from building an army of soldiers willing to do his dirty work at his beck and call. And those soldiers? He finds them on the street and in the gutters, cleans them up and then brainwashes them into robots who have no fucking clue what they’re doing. He uses them to pimp drugs, women, guns…. You name it, he sells it. And if someone gets in the way of all that? His soldiers are trained to take care of problems.”
King pushed off from the desk. “Nitro, I just want guns and I want them cheap, and I want to buy them from someone who won’t fuck us over. I don’t really give a fuck what Joseph’s business is. So long as he has what we need, that’s all that matters.”
My shoulders tensed. “So you’ll consider this?”
“Yeah, I will.”
My vision blurred with red rage. The urge to punch shit took over my body and I knew I had to get out of King’s office before I did something I’d regret. Jabbing my finger at him, I said, “I’m telling you both now, if you do this, you’ll live to regret it.”
I turned and ripped the door open.
The thing that pissed me off the most wasn’t that Joseph had wormed his way into Storm or that he was in Sydney. It was that I’d taken my eye off the ball with him. I’d kept track of his movements for fucking years, always making sure I knew what he was up to. I hadn’t checked up on him for a couple of months and now there he fucking was.
Motherfucker.
* * *
I entered my house in a foul mood that night. All I wanted was a cold beer and to zone the fuck out in front of the television for a few hours. I wasn’t even sure if I’d make it over to see Tatum after that. It was probably safer to stay away with the mood I was in. However, my plans were turned on their head when I walked into the kitchen to grab a beer out of the fridge.
“Nitro.” Tatum sat at the island bench and smiled at me while Dustin stood on the other side cooking.
He glanced up. “I’m making Tatum’s favourite dinner.”
I lifted a brow, confused as fuck as to what was going on here. Dustin never cooked. I wasn’t even sure if he knew how to. He usually existed on takeaway or two-minute noodles. Continuing to the fridge, I reached in for the beer. “Are we celebrating something?”
Dustin ignored my question. “Do you know what Tatum’s favourite meal is?”
I leant against the pantry. “Can’t say I do.” Jesus, I needed to shake this shitty mood; otherwise, I’d piss everyone off.
Dustin smiled triumphantly, as if he had the secrets of the world locked away in his head. “It’s nachos, steak, mashed potato and porridge.”
I just about spat my beer out. Shooting my attention to Tatum, I found her trying to hold back a laugh. My lips twitched and my mood shifted. “You don’t say?” I said, not letting her eyes go.
She hopped off the stool and walked to where I stood. Sliding her hands around my waist, she planted a kiss on my lips. “Did you have a bad day, grumpy?”
I hooked my arm around her and dropped my hand to her ass. “Nothing that your favourite dinner can’t fix,” I murmured.
Laughter escaped her lips. “Good.”
Dustin eyed us as he wiped his hands on a tea towel. “I’ve just gotta go grab my phone. Can you guys watch the potatoes?”
I nodded. “Yeah, buddy.”
After he had left us, Tatum whispered, “Dustin asked me what my favourite things to eat were. He didn’t tell me what he was planning so I just rattled off the things I like the most. Now he thinks that I eat them all together for dinner.”
I chuckled, feeling some of the tension in my shoulders easing. “He has a soft spot for you so I’d expect to be eating that dinner often. I’ve gotta say, I’ve never seen him cook before. Is there an occasion?”
“If you’re asking me why I’m here for dinner, the answer is because Dustin wanted to thank me for helping him ace his interview today.”
The moment sat between us. Things were shifting fast in our relationship, and I had feelings rushing at me that were so foreign I didn’t know what to do with them. I decided at that moment just to give her my honesty. My truth. And she could do with it whatever she chose.
I took a swig of my beer. “I like that you’re here for dinner.”
Her arms tightened around me. “I like it, too,” she said softly and fuck if that
didn’t hit me right in the gut.
“We’re here!” Renee’s voice filtered into the kitchen, and I jerked my head up to see her and Marilyn join us.
“The whole fucking family, huh?” I said.
Tatum laughed and moved out of my embrace. “Yeah, Dustin said he wanted to cook for everyone.”
“Hi Tatum,” Renee said, hitting her with a smile. “This is my mum, Marilyn.”
I watched my sister. She and Renee had moved back home just over two weeks ago, against my wishes, but we’d been arguing about it for weeks so I’d given in. She’d been seeing her shrink and doing the work, but she’d retreated. She hadn’t returned to work after time off while she’d been in hospital receiving treatment, and I was concerned that the longer she stayed away, the harder it would be to go back.
She smiled at Tatum. “Hi,” she said hesitantly.
Tatum returned her smile, magnified. I knew she was trying hard here because she didn’t usually smile that brightly. “Hi, Marilyn. It’s lovely to meet you.”
Dustin returned to the kitchen and resumed cooking. Renee and Tatum discussed an assignment Renee was having hell with—a legal studies essay, which was right up Tatum’s alley. Marilyn’s shyness kicked in, but she joined in every now and then. And I watched my family begin to get to know the woman I’d let into my life. It was the oddest fucking night of my life and yet one of the best.
* * *
“Marilyn is so reserved,” Tatum said later that night as she lay next to me, her fingers drawing patterns on my chest. “I couldn’t work out whether she liked me or not.”
I tightened my arm around her. “She liked you.”
She pushed up so she was resting on her elbow. “Really? How could you tell?”
I took in Tatum’s questions, her tone and the expression on her face. Smoothing her hair, I said, “You really want her to like you, don’t you?”
She hesitated for a brief moment before nodding. “Yeah, I do.”
