by Katy Kaylee
Leaving the bathroom, I threw myself on my bed. I fiercely regretted everything that had just happened, but I told myself that I’d get through it.
After all, I always did.
I was just going to have to play the villain once again, just as I’d done when Krista had left. I hadn’t ever wanted Hollie to find out how selfish and callous her mother had been, so I’d let my ex-wife blame everything on me. I’d been strong enough to pull through that and rebuild my life then. I’d been younger, tougher, and fiercely protective of my daughter.
But now, I was not sure that I could ever survive the knowledge that I finally disappointed Paris Malone.
14
Paris – Sunday
I could hardly drive – other cars kept honking and swerving around me. No matter what I did, I couldn’t stop crying. I couldn’t stop the hot tears from falling down my face.
I’d managed to ruin everything, but I’d be lying if I said that I hadn’t expected that to happen when I’d joined Harrison in the shower. At first, it had been perfect. He’d looked at me with desire and love in his eyes and we’d joined together perfectly. It hadn’t just been sex, and it hadn’t just been raw fucking, either.
It had been making love, and I had never felt so happy as I did when Harrison had kissed me back.
We’d been getting closer. At least, I thought we had. Maybe, though, I’d been wrong all along. Maybe I’d only been seeing the things that I’d wanted to see, and I’d ignored all of the red flags and signs of danger.
I’d been wrong about something, that was for sure. When Harrison had thrown me out of his house, it had broken my heart. I’d never thought that I’d hear those words from his mouth, but he’d been as clear as day.
He didn’t want me, and maybe he never had from the beginning.
Maybe he wanted me gone because of what he had going on with Madison Maxx. Maybe I was nothing more than a side-piece, a cheap little thing to fuck while Madison was working. Maybe he had thought that I was too stupid to want anything more than his body.
Because I did want more than his body.
I wanted all of him: his mind, his heart, his emotions.
At least, I thought that I did.
It was hard for me to believe these horrible things about the man whom I’d worshipped for ten years. Harrison had been my savior and my saint, my champion and my rescuer. In my mind, there was no man on earth who could live up to his heroism. I’d been in love with him for so long that I felt like I had blinders on when it came to Harrison Hendricks.
Try as I might, I couldn’t think of any other reason why he would kick me out in such a heartless way. After he’d come deep inside of me, it was like a switch had flipped in his brain. It had to just be sex for him. If he truly loved and cared for me, there was no way he would have thrown me out like that.
It had to be because of Madison. If it wasn’t for her, there was no way Harrison would have ordered me to quit stripping at The Pink Diamond. He knew how badly I needed the money.
Was he just trying to punish me?
The idea was enough to make me cry even harder. By the time I pulled up at the club, I was a mess. I sat in my car and tried to take deep breaths and soothe my puffy eyes. At least I hadn’t been wearing any makeup, but it was fairly obvious that I’d just been sobbing my eyes out.
Anger began to fill me as I went over the events of the day in my head. Harrison thought he could control me, that I was still some dumb little girl in need of rescuing.
But I wasn’t. I was an adult woman, someone who could take care of herself.
Pressing my lips together in a firm line, I took a deep breath and left my car. The club was starting to fill up for the evening and instead of going to the dressing room to change, I made my way to Angel’s office and knocked on the door.
“It’s open,” Angel yelled.
When I opened the door, he was sitting at his desk with his feet kicked up and his phone in his hands. He looked at me and grinned.
“Hey, doll,” Angel said. “Feeling any better?”
I nodded, forcing a smile on my face. “Yes, much,” I lied. “Thanks so much for not minding that I took yesterday off.”
Angel nodded. “Anything to keep my girls happy,” he said. He flashed me another wide grin. “What can I do for you?”
I sat down in the chair across from his desk. “Actually,” I said, clearing my throat. “I’m here to talk about what you mentioned yesterday. You said there was a way for me to start making a lot more money, right?”
Angel’s smile grew even wider and he nodded.
“Of course, doll,” he said. “You know, a lot of girls come here and they don’t realize something.” He paused, and I wasn’t sure whether or not he had been asking me a rhetorical question.
“I don’t understand,” I said slowly.
Angel nodded. He was obviously pleased to be having this conversation with me, and I wondered how many women had been sitting in my very spot, listening to his words.
“Dancing, doll, well that’s just the stepping stone,” Angel continued. He put his phone down and raised an eyebrow at me. “The real money, you know, is in private events.”
I didn’t like the sound of that, but I nodded all the same.
“You’re new, sure, but I’ve seen you move,” Angel said. “Those men, they were really hot for you. Tonight, there’s a party happening and I bet you could walk away with a grand.”
I blinked at him. “A thousand dollars?” I repeated, feeling stupid.
Angel nodded. “If you tag along, I can all but guarantee it,” he said.
The amount was shocking. A thousand dollars? I’d made about seventy-five dollars dancing the other night, and I’d heard that girls could clear a couple hundred from doing lap dances all night.
But a thousand? This sounded too good to be true, and I felt the seeds of doubt beginning to creep in.
“It’s just for dancing?” I asked, unable to keep the skepticism from my voice.
Angel nodded. “You’ll have a good time,” he said. “Trust me, a lot of girls prefer doing this to dancing up on stage. You’re not under all those hot lights, hurting your knees while crawling around. These parties are always in really nice hotels. There’s food, and champagne, and a lot of rich men.”
It sounded seedy – somehow, even more seedy than dancing at the club did because of the trappings of wealth.
“And, you’ll make a boatload of cash,” Angel said. He grinned at me. “You’re gorgeous and you got a great body. You could probably clear even more than a thousand, easy.”
I didn’t really have the option to refuse. I needed cash, fast ... especially now that I needed to find a new place to stay.
“Okay,” I told him. “Sure. That sounds great.”
“Good,” Angel said. He smirked at me, then scribbled something down on a piece of paper. “Be there in an hour,” he said, passing me the address of a luxury hotel in Lincoln Park. “And make sure you look gorgeous,” he added.
An hour later, I held my breath as I walked into the lobby of The Pinnacle with Livvie and a couple of other dancers from the club. Madison wasn’t with us – thinking about her made me jealous and angry. I wondered if she was back at the club, dancing for Harrison.
But I couldn’t think about him, not now. I had to paste on a bright smile and shake my body and earn as much money as I possibly could.
Upstairs, Livvie led the way into a large suite. Angel was there, with three other men. The three other men were all wearing cowboy hats and ruddy suntans, but their clothing looked expensive. They looked nice enough, but they were all huge and suddenly I felt a flash of pity. I couldn’t imagine being so overweight that I’d have to pay someone to pretend to have a good time with me.
Then again, that was my job. I smiled brightly, trying to conceal my nervousness as Angel introduced us.
“I’ve never seen a prettier bunch of girls,” one of them drawled in a thick Texas accent. “Woul
d any of you girls like a drink?” With a grunt, he got to his feet and walked over to a small cart that was stocked with top-shelf liquor.
“Ooh, yes please,” Livvie squealed. “A seven and seven!”
The Texan nodded at her, then turned to me. “What about you, darlin’?”
I shook my head and blushed. “No, thank you,” said.
“Maybe you’d like this, instead?” Angel asked. He pulled a baggie of coke from his pocket and dangled it under my nose. My heart clanged with alarm, but I tried to smile and play it off.
“Oh, no thanks,” I said, as casually as I could manage.
One of the other men got up and put some music on. As if on cue, Livvie and the other girls started dancing, slowly swaying and making eye contact with the Texans while unbuttoning their tops. I felt awkward, but I joined in. The song was unfamiliar but I moved and undulated as best I could, running my hands over my fully-clothed body and shaking my ass to the beat.
Angel was right – it wasn’t like being in the club. It was weirder, in a way. Livvie and the other girls were really getting into it, dancing with each other and kissing on the lips sometimes, grinding and bumping on each other. The alcohol was flowing now and I began to wonder if I shouldn’t have had something to drink, just to loosen me up. As the room grew hotter and the music grew louder, the party became rowdy.
The hair on the back of my neck stood up and I swallowed, trying to look like I was having a fun and sexy time dancing in front of the seated Texans. I kept telling myself how much I needed the money, how much I needed safety and security that cash brought. The floor below my feet was littered with dollar bills – even though I was there with Livvie and one other girl, I could tell that it was already going to be a lucrative night.
I just hoped I wouldn’t have to do anything else. Livvie and the other stripper were fully naked by now, crawling around on the floor and teasing each other, causing the Texans to holler with excitement. Watching them made me feel strangely voyeuristic, but not in a good way. This is so seedy, I thought, biting my lower lip and forcing myself to keep dancing. God, I wish I didn’t have to to do this! Noticing that the Texans and Angel were staring at me expectantly, I smiled as confidently as I could. A shiver of nervousness ran down my spine as I fumbled with the strings of my bikini top and began lowering it down over my breasts.
“She’s really pretty,” one of the Texans drawled. He was the biggest, clad in jeans and a button-down shirt and a cowboy hat.
“She is,” Angel said. He gave me a smirk and I blinked nervously.
“I like how she moves,” the Texan continued. “She available for a private dance?”
Angel nodded. His smirk turned into a grin. “Yeah,” he said. “But it costs extra.”
The Texan beamed. He pulled a wad of cash out of his pocket and handed it over to Angel. As I watched him, I felt sick to my stomach. I realized that I’d never actually given a lap dance before – the club had shut down that night before I could make the rounds – and I wondered how on earth I was going to do it. And watching Angel take the guy’s money in exchange for me, well, I felt subhuman.
I felt like a piece of meat.
“Follow me,” Angel said. He got to his feet and jerked his head to the side. The Texan was grinning at me as he rose from the bed and lumbered after Angel, in the direction of a bedroom within the suite.
I felt rooted to the spot, but I knew I had to go. I wondered if this would be like the club – if I’d get to keep some of the money from the private dance I was about to give, or would Angel just divvy it up between all three of us?
Swallowing hard, I forced myself to walk after Angel and my new client.
After all, it wasn’t like I had a choice.
15
Harrison – Saturday
By the time I got to The Pink Diamond, the place was throbbing and pulsing with music. Girls were gyrating on stage, and I took my usual place at the bar.
The bartender grinned at me. “You’re getting to be a familiar face,” she said, looking down as she poured me a drink.
I’d never noticed it before, but she was young. Maybe even as young as Hollie, or Paris. How long had she been working here? I’d seen her get treated like shit by various patrons, and she put up with all of it with a smile.
It made me think of Krista, and how young she’d been when we’d first gotten together. Back then, girls had seemed so young and naïve.
But the bartender at The Pink Diamond was hardened, tough.
It made me almost sad, to be honest ... but deep down, I knew that was because of Paris.
“Yeah, well,” I said with a shrug. “I gotta come somewhere, don’t I?”
The bartender gave me a strange look – I realized that she’d been expecting me to say something about Madison Maxx, my fake girlfriend.
“And Madison’s great,” I lied. “She’s really something.”
The bartender nodded. She slipped me my drink and patted the back of my hand, in a way that made it seem like I was the young kid and she was the old one.
“This one’s on the house,” she said. “Have fun.”
Just as she turned away, I felt a hand tap my on the shoulder. Turning to the side, I saw Madison. Her face was caked in foundation and glitter and she smiled sweetly at me, batting her eyelashes and tilting her face in an attempt to be demure.
“Hi, baaaaay,” Madison cooed. She leaned in and kissed me on the cheek, leaving sticky lip gloss residue behind. “I missed you!”
I put my arm around her lean waist. “I missed you, too,” I lied. “Let me get you a drink.”
“No need,” Madison said. She took my glass in her hand and kept her eyes locked with mine before taking a sip. “I have yours,” she giggled.
Shit. I’d been hoping that she’d take the bait, that she’d sit with me for a while and I could start grilling her about the color-coded notes that Steve had found in Angel’s hard drive. And speaking of Angel, I hadn’t seen him once since arriving.
That was strange. Most of the time, he made an appearance or two on the floor, making sure that no one was abusing his precious property.
I frowned.
“Baaaby,” Madison whined. “What’s wrong? You look so sad,” she added, pouting and batting her eyes at me.
“Uh, nothing,” I said. “Hey, you know of anyone who works here named Mr. Orange?”
Madison made a weird face. “Um, is that like, foreign?” She asked, biting her plump lower lip.
“Sort of,” I said. “It’s like ... a nickname,” I added, nodding my head for emphasis. “You know. Like a game.”
“I like games,” Madison said with a girlish giggle. “You wanna play a game with me, baby?”
Yeah, I thought in exasperation. Like, tell me about your fucking boss and his fucking drug ring. That would be a real fun game.
“Yes,” I said, leaning in close and raising an eyebrow at her. “Are you free to talk for a while?”
Madison wrinkled her brow and sighed dramatically, pursing her lips and blowing a steady stream of smoke-scented air into my face.
“I wish,” she groaned. “But I have to dance double tonight.”
“Why?”
“I have to fill in for that new girl, Boston,” Madison replied sourly.
“Paris?” I asked.
“Oh, yeah,” Madison said. “That’s her. Whatever.”
Despite my frustration with Madison Maxx in that moment, I felt a rush of cool relief. Thank god – Paris had followed my orders and quit.
She was safe.
I already missed her like hell, but knowing that she wasn’t dancing anymore made all of this much easier to bear. Someday, I knew that she’d make the right man very happy with her, and that she’d live a wonderful life.
Damn, I just wish that it could have been with me.
“So, she quit,” I said, reaching for my drink and taking a long sip.
Madison narrowed her eyes at me. “Did I say that? I’m no
t retarded,” she said, an angry look flashing over her face. She rolled her eyes. “She got really greedy. She’s only been here for like, a week, and she’s already out doing special jobs.”
My heart lurched violently to the side and I felt the blood drain from my face.
“Special jobs?” I asked.
Madison nodded, leaning in like she was about to give me some confidential information.
“Yeah, special jobs,” she said, giggling. “You know. The kind where you can make like, a thousand a night.”
In that moment, I completely lost control. I grabbed Madison by the arms, squeezing her toned biceps with my hands.
“What the fuck is a special job?” I hissed. “What is she doing?”
“God, relax!” Madison cried. “It’s hooking. Nothing special, okay? Angel takes a few girls to meet with private clients. They dance, and then the guys pick a girl. It happens all the time.”
“Where?” I growled.
“Some suite at the Luxury Towers Hotel,” Madison said. She yanked herself out of my grip and scowled at me, rubbing her arms. “Why the hell do you care so much about that whore, Paris, anyway?”
I didn’t answer. The blood was pounding in my ears and all I could do was swallow. Paris, my beloved Paris, was hooking? Did she know what she had gotten herself into?
Or had Angel tricked her?
“If you want to mess around with her, we’re done,” Madison scowled. She slapped me across the face, then turned on her platform heel and stalked away.
I knew I should run after her and beg her forgiveness, if only to save the operation. But right now, the only important thing on my mind was Paris.
I had to find her, had to save her. I wasn’t going to let her do something that she’d regret for the rest of her life. With my heart pounding, I ran out of the club and got into my car. The tires screeched as I pulled out of the parking lot and I prayed that I wouldn’t hit traffic as I drove from the outskirts of the city towards downtown.
