by Katy Kaylee
Harrison took a sip of his cocoa like it was cognac, letting it savor in his mouth before swallowing. Then, he leaned over and kissed my forehead with chocolate-scented lips.
“I’ll give it some thought, Paris,” Harrison said. “I can’t make any promises.”
I nodded slowly. It wasn’t the response that I’d hoped for.
But I could tell that it was the best response I was going to get for now.
19
Harrison – Thursday
In the days that passed since my last encounter with Paris – and our talk, about the future of ... well, whatever it was between us – I tried as hard as I could to do as I’d promised her, and think about it. I had been taking every possible opportunity to be around Paris. We hadn’t slept together since, but we’d managed to steal a few kisses here and there. Hollie was usually home – she’d mentioned something about breaking it off with the guy whom she’d been seeing – so we didn’t have nearly as much time together, but I took advantage of every chance.
It made me feel like a scoundrel, but I couldn’t stop. It was wrong and immoral: Paris wasn’t just young enough to be my daughter.
She also just happened to be my daughter’s best friend, even if things between them had been noticeably cooler over the summer. I didn’t want to do anything to further disrupt Hollie’s life. She’d already lost her mother and had no idea of the true reasoning behind that, and I wasn’t about to enlighten her.
The last thing she needed was to discover that her best friend and father were sleeping together. Hollie was an only child – it wasn’t like she’d have a sibling to run to when she learned the truth, and I couldn’t imagine the hurt and betrayal that my daughter would experience if she were to ever find out.
That being said, I was starting to realize that I couldn’t imagine a life without Paris. She had completely changed me, and for the first time in years, I could feel my heart beating again. She was so beautiful and kind and sweet, and I loved that about her. I never wanted to be without her – and now, I was sure that she felt the same way.
What Paris had said about me being her hero had made me feel awkward and a little disbelieving. I was an old man, getting older by the day, and I wasn’t some strapping young guy anymore.
Then again, I had saved her.
Twice.
Now, I just worried that she was building me up too much in her head. I worried that I’d never be able to live up to the likely unrealistic expectations that her twenty-year-old mind had of me.
It was killing me. I never wanted to let her down or disappoint her, but I had a feeling that that would be inevitable were we to become seriously involved with each other.
And my distraction was becoming evident to others, too. I was sitting at work, with Steve, going over some of the leads that Angel had given us but my heart wasn’t in it.
“Man, you gotta snap out of it,” Steve said. “Whatever it is.” He gave me a pointed, knowing look, and I shifted my ass in the hard wooden chair.
“I’m fine,” I said. “Just feeling under the weather.”
Steve gave me another look. “Look, I’ve known you for a long time,” he said. “And I’ve never seen you this distracted. Not even when that bitch left you, you kept your head in the game.”
I held my breath, suddenly sure that he’d guessed my dark, deep secret.
“We’ll have rounded up the entire drug ring soon,” Steve said. “And thanks to the hard work you put in, I’m pretty damn sure that the charges will stick.” He cleared his throat and raised an eyebrow at me. “There might even be a promotion in store for you. Or me, if you can’t get your head out of your ass.”
I sighed. “It won’t be a problem,” I said. “Trust me on that.”
But it was a problem. Work was taking a backseat to my life, something that hadn’t happened in my entire career, and it was like no matter how hard to push Paris Malone out of my head, I just couldn’t do it. Sometimes I even fantasized about running away with her.
During my entire drive home, I kept thinking about Steve, and what he’d said. For years, I’d wanted to be promoted to head detective. Now I wasn’t so sure. Now, I was starting to think that maybe I could prioritize other things in my life. Hollie would be graduating soon, and starting med school. She’d be so busy, she’d likely need a lot of help and a place to live rent-free while she worked on her dream of being a doctor.
And Paris? Well, I had no fucking idea. I couldn’t believe that she’d kept the scholarship thing from me ... had she been worried that I’d be disappointed? It didn’t seem like nearly enough of a good reason to go into a sordid summer of sex work, but then again, she was a young woman. She worried about a lot of things, and she clearly didn’t have a firm grasp of the world yet.
I just hoped we could figure something out, so that she could go back to school for her last year of undergrad. Becoming a counselor would take more schooling, but nothing like Hollie, and I was convinced that Paris could make it. She was smart, and tough.
I got home and let myself into the empty house, calling out for Hollie or Paris as I walked into the kitchen. The sink was full of dishes, and I rolled my eyes, remembering Hollie’s pleas to me at the beginning of the summer. Oh, Dad, we’ll be so good, we’ll clean up after ourselves all the time, everything will be awesome, oh Dad, thank you!
Kids. Hollie was still a kid. And Paris? Despite her naivete and sweetness, she’d always had a backbone of steel that Hollie lacked. I guessed that it came from growing up in such a traumatic environment until I’d first rescued her, but maybe it was just that she was one of those people who had been born an adult, never a naïve little kid.
I was still thinking about that as I loaded the dishes in the dishwasher. When I heard the sound of the garage door opening, I grinned.
“Hey girls,” I called over my shoulder.
“Girls?”
The cold, feminine voice that replied to me made me freeze. Whirling around, I saw Krista, my ex-wife, standing there with the garage door opener in her hand.
“I’m surprised that you didn’t change this,” she said, waving it in the air and giving me a smile with a hint of guilt.
I rolled my eyes. “So, that’s where the other remote went,” I muttered. “I thought Hollie had lost it.”
Krista didn’t say anything. She looked around awkwardly, fiddling with the garage door remote in her hands.
“What are you doing here?” I asked finally. “New marriage finally break up? Or did your senior citizen husband die on you?”
Krista flushed angrily. She coughed and walked over to the kitchen table, the very table where I’d made love with Paris not a week before, and sat down.
“It’s about Hollie,” Krista said finally.
“Well?” I leaned against the counter and crossed my arms, like I was in the interrogation box at work. Krista had obviously been expecting me to join her at the table, but she didn’t say anything for a long moment.
“Well, she’s been talking to me about recommendations for med school and interning at the hospital where I work.”
I nodded. It was to be expected, although sometimes I forgot that both Hollie’s mother and stepfather worked in the medical field. I’d always assumed that Krista would quit working when she’d married the rich surgeon, and now I wondered if they’d signed a pre-nup.
“I’ve got a little problem,” Krista continued. “And I was really hoping you could help.”
I shrugged.
“My husband isn’t comfortable giving Hollie a recommendation,” Krista said. She flushed again and bit her lower lip. “He said that he barely knows Hollie, and well, that’s true. I mean, we didn’t get married until after Hollie went off to college. He’s really spent very little time with her.”
I narrowed my eyes.
“And he says that internships are reserved to people with the highest merit ... which Hollie doesn’t necessarily have. My husband doesn’t just hand things out to family mem
bers. He worked hard to get where he is.”
I felt a brief flash of anger. “Hollie worked hard, too. She is working hard.”
“My husband says that she should have been interning since before she went off to college,” Krista said. “And that she should have had an internship every summer, as well as taking a more active interest in extra-curricular activities.”
“With all those internships, how the hell would she have the time for any extra activities?” I asked.
Krista didn’t reply.
“I don’t understand what this has to do with me,” I said.
Krista got up from the table and walked closer, until I could smell the familiar perfume she’d always worn. It was a heavy, Oriental scent, and the smell of it took me back.
“I don’t want to hurt Hollie,” Krista said softly. “I don’t want to disappoint her. She’d be crushed if she knew. She thinks my husband is already going to help her ... she even told me about it last night.” She cleared her throat. “Could you help me, you know, like you did during the divorce?”
I frowned. “So ... you want me to play the bad guy again,” I said slowly. “And sugarcoat the real reason you left?”
Krista shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other.
“You want me to pretend that you weren’t interested in the money and status that marrying a rich surgeon came with?”
Krista pressed her lips together.
“I might have done that once, to save her relationship with you,” I said. “But I’m not going to do it every time you come running to me.”
Krista pouted. She came even closer, running a finger down my arm. “Please,” she said, batting her eyelashes and using the same cajoling tone that she’d used when we’d been married. Strangely, now Krista only reminded me of a slightly smarter version of Madison Maxx, my fake stripper ex-girlfriend who begged and pouted and pleaded with her feminine charms to get her way.
It suddenly hit me: she didn’t give a shit about me, she was only going to try seduction to convince me to help her, to convince me to help her spin how her new husband was rejecting Hollie.
Inwardly, I froze.
20
Paris – Thursday
“You’re so out of shape,” Hollie teased. We were standing to the side of the Lakefront Trail, watching the slow, placid waves of Lake Michigan beat against the concrete bulkhead. The sun was shining overhead and my whole body was drenched in sweat as my chest heaved from the effort of trying to keep up with my best friend. Hollie had asked me along on a run that morning, and I’d felt as if I couldn’t say no – I’d been feeling so guilty about keeping so many secrets from her, I’d really wanted to make an effort to renew as much of our friendship as possible.
“Not everyone can be you, Hol,” I teased back. I reached for my water bottle and took a long drink. The water was only lukewarm tap water, from Harrison’s kitchen faucet, but it tasted better than I’d ever thought possible.
Hollie grinned at me. She flipped her sweaty brown ponytail over her shoulder and put her hands on her hips. “We should keep this up during the year,” she said. “I know it’s hard at first, but it feels so good. I really think it’s gonna help me deal with all the stress of trying to get into a good med school, you know?”
I nodded as the sick feeling returned to my stomach.
“I mean, I’ve been talking to Mom, and I think she and her new husband can help me,” Hollie continued. “I mean, he’s like, a really good doctor, and he’s famous.” She pressed her lips together and frowned. “I hate the idea of asking him, since I don’t know him all that well, but Mom keeps saying that it’s going to be a good thing for me.”
I didn’t know what to say. The idea that Hollie’s mother, Krista, had voluntarily left Harrison for another man – an ancient surgeon, of all things! – was horrifying to me. Harrison was the best man on the planet.
Clearly, Krista was insane.
“What about you?” Hollie asked. “Are you looking into any grad programs for counseling? Oh, we should think about trying to go to the same school if we can ... that way, I don’t have to worry about finding a new roomie!”
As she talked on, I felt my stomach twist into knots of uncertainty. All of this time, I’d been trying to avoid thinking about what I’d do when it came time to return to school. I hadn’t been able to get another job, not even a minimum wage retail gig, and I had no idea how I was supposed to break the news to Hollie. Now that Harrison knew, it felt as if a large weight had been lifted from my shoulders, but I still dreaded telling my best friend.
“Hey,” Hollie said, her grin fading. “You okay? You’re being really quiet.”
I nodded. “I think the heat is just making me sick, to be honest,” I told her. “I should probably go home and take a cold shower.”
Hollie nodded. “You mind if I go on ahead?” She asked.
“Of course not,” I told her. “Why would I?”
Hollie flushed, and I suddenly had the suspicion that she hadn’t just dragged me running because it was helping with her stress. She had broken things off with the guy she’d been seeing, and I wondered if she’d already found someone new, some fit athletic guy who loved to run. In a way, I envied her. Hollie hadn’t been held back by a deep, unabiding love for one man for ten years. She was free and young, and men loved her.
She didn’t have to worry about her fate hinging on rejection.
But ever since Harrison and I had talked, I’d been feeling cautiously optimistic. We hadn’t slept together since, but we’d shared a few, tender moments that had almost felt more intimate than sex. Harrison was my world, and I desperately hoped that he’d come to realize the depth of my feelings for him ... and return them.
“I’m going to head back,” I told her. “See you later, okay? Be safe.”
Hollie grinned and stuck out her tongue at me. “Like, duh,” she said, nodding her head at me before breaking into a jog and continuing along the concrete trail.
I could have taken the bus back to Harrison’s Lakeview house, but instead I walked along the trail. Gulls squawked and cawed overhead, and I watched as groups of fit, young housewives pushed expensive strollers while they speed-walked along. They looked so happy and polished and secure.
I wondered if I’d ever find that. I knew Harrison was much older, but I wanted to give him a second chance at love, at life. I wanted him to know that no matter what, I’d always be there for him.
By the time I got back to the house, I was feeling hotter than ever. Sweat kept dripping into my mouth from my upper lip and my sunglasses slid down my face no matter how much I pushed them back up against the bridge of my nose. I let myself into the house and paused in the foyer to reach down and unlace my trainers.
When I heard the voices in the kitchen, I stopped cold. I recognized Harrison’s voice right away, and there was another voice – a sultry, older female voice.
I froze when I recognized it: it was the voice of Krista, Hollie’s mother. I frowned, wiping my brow as I wondered what on earth she was doing there. Deciding that I shouldn’t be eavesdropping on a private conversation, I attempted to sneak up the stairs.
Then I heard Hollie’s name, and stopped mid-way up the stairs.
“I don’t want my relationship with my baby girl to suffer,” Krista said, almost flirtatiously. “Won’t you help me? You don’t want her to hate me, do you?”
Harrison snorted. “Look, Krista,” he said. “I might’ve taken a bullet for you during the divorce, but I can’t let you manipulate me any longer.”
I couldn’t help myself – turning around, I snuck back downstairs and peered into the kitchen. Krista was standing close to Harrison, her tanned hand resting on his brawny arm. As she leaned in for a kiss, I felt something pierce my heart.
“You shouldn’t think that way,” Krista murmured. “It’s not manipulation, Harrison. It’s just good parenting. I don’t want to lose my daughter.”
My stomach churned. Was that wha
t Krista wanted, to rekindle something with Harrison?
And did he feel the same way?
Krista pressed her painted lips to Harrison, and my heart leapt into my throat. But after just a second, Harrison put both of his hands on Krista’s arms and moved her away from him.
“If you’re worried about your daughter’s opinion of you, maybe you should consider what you’ve done,” Harrison said coldly. “I helped you before. I played down how badly you wanted to be rich, and I didn’t mention how you cheated on me before you even told me that you wanted to leave.”
Krista didn’t reply, but I saw her pouting.
“And you were the one who dragged our daughter into this. You told her that you felt neglected and unhappy and ignored. I didn’t correct her when she came to me and told me that. I’m not going to do that again. You made your choices, Krista.”
“That’s not fair,” Krista said accusingly. I saw tears spring into her eyes.
“If your asshole husband doesn’t want to give Hollie a recommendation, so be it. I’ll do my best to help her out, despite being a lowly detective,” Harrison added sarcastically.
Krista’s shoulders slumped, and she scowled and turned away from Harrison. She walked over to the garage door and put her hand on the knob. Just as she was about to open the door, she turned back to face her ex-husband.
“You’re not the man I married, Harrison,” she said, narrowing her eyes at him.
“You’re right,” Harrison bellowed loudly. “I’m not. And I’ll never be that man again, thank god. I’m never going to marry again, I’m not some toy to be manipulated by a woman. You never meant your vows to me, and you fucking know it.”
Krista scoffed. She opened the door, went into the garage, and slammed it behind her. As quickly and quietly as I could, I jogged up the stairs and let myself into the guest room, closing the door behind me.
