by Katy Kaylee
It was 10 a.m. I’d set my alarm as a reminder to get up out of bed before noon. Being inside the trailer every day was depressing and causing me to wallow too deeply inside my thoughts. The stench of old food and sweat were permeating the air. I couldn’t afford to buy any cleaning products with the little money in my account. I had a choice to either open a window to waft away the smell, or risk over-drafting my bank again. I cracked a window and slipped inside of a pair of gray sweat pants. With my favorite oversized tee-shirt comforting me, I picked up the broom and mop and started cleaning the trailer. I wanted to rid the space of any and everything that reminded me of Macon. I was finally ready to start over fresh. One by one, I filled the trash bags with garbage and tossed them out of the front door.
Within an hour, the trailer was half empty and sparse. Yet, it felt like a new beginning to create the life I wanted on my terms. That needed to start with a paycheck. With my hair in a low hanging ponytail and sneakers, I walked a few miles up the street from the trailer to the local coffee shop. With my laptop across my shoulders in a knapsack, I needed to borrow the wi-fi for my job search. I thought a change of scenery and other people would keep my spirits lifted. I knew I could probably only afford a bagel and small coffee. I stood patiently in the back of the line browsing the coffee shop.
There were men and women of all ages buzzing from the morning coffee. Some of them looked like college graduates chasing the job market with as much gusto as an Uber driver. While others were waiting anxiously for a business meeting that could lead to more opportunities. I fell somewhere at the end of the totem pole. I considered myself to be a neighborhood slum looking for a good bone and a leg to stand on.
I rubbed my debit card in my hand, nervously. I got used to the familiar feeling of not having hardly any money available and my card publicly declining. Today was going well. I just prayed silently that it would continue to do so. By the time it was my turn to order, the coffee shop was filling up quickly with patrons. A million conversations were going all at once, elevator pop music in the background, the sound of machines whirring, and the door chiming as people entered and exited every minute. My heart began to race nervously as the perky cashier greeted me with a smile.
“Welcome to Bumba Coffee! What can I get for you today?”I stared back at the dark, brown-eyed brunette with pearly white teeth. She looked all of twenty-two as her olive skin glowed in the fluorescent lights. Her bubbly personality caught me by surprise. She just smiled at me as I read her bold printed name tag that read “Amber.”
“Hi,” I uttered from the back of my throat.
Amber blinked continuously as her moist pink lips and smile flashed endlessly. Her petite frame and manicured nails reminded me of a girl I used to know in college. Her name was Sabrina. We’d shared a few classes together and formed a friendship over noodles and hot sauce. That was until she discovered she was six weeks pregnant and decided to move back home. Amber waited patiently as I browsed the extensive menu hanging overhead. Everything was either too hard to pronounce or too expensive for my budget. I squinted my eyes and studied the menu longer just to look like I had the budget for options. Just as I was about to make a choice, I heard someone clearing their throat and sucking their teeth. I took the hint and ordered quickly.
“One small coffee and bagel coming up. Will that complete your order today?” Amber smiled.
I nodded and passed her my debit card. Amber swiped my card swiftly, and I took a deep breath. I crossed my right hand and prayed that the transaction was approved. Within a minute, I could exhale, and Amber passed me a receipt and pointed to the pick-up area.
“Have a great day! “Amber bellowed.
I glanced over my shoulder and tossed her a warm smile. Somehow that brief interaction with Amber made my day. I grabbed my lukewarm coffee and bagel from the counter and found a seat. Unfortunately, the seat I wanted near the window was occupied by a guy and his belongings. I opted for a middle seat near the door, occupied by a young Asian girl. I waved politely and gestured to join her in the empty seat. She tossed me a thumbs-up quickly as she bobbled her head inside her headphones and darted her eyes back to her laptop. I smiled graciously as I propped up my laptop and comfortably placed my bagel on the table.
I was thirty minutes into my job search when I looked up to see the Asian beauty had left the coffee shop, without so much as a “goodbye” or “have a nice day.” I glanced and tossed a crooked smile to a teenage wannabe heartthrob sitting sideways in the chair laughing at his phone. His oversized headphones, tight black jeans, edgy graphic tee shirt, and neon sneakers gave me all of eighteen and moody. He reminded me of my kid cousin, Ralphie, who was always glued to YouTube and social media.
The pubescent-looking stranger rolled his eyes back at me. I shrugged my shoulders and took the hint he was not in the mood to be friendly. I minded my business and finished completing my application. My coffee was nearly gone, and my half-eaten bagel was almost stale. Before long, my battery was about to die, and my charger was at home in the nightstand. I sipped the last of my coffee and chucked the bagel into the trash. I closed my laptop and made a quick beeline to the bathroom. I held my breath and scurried out faster than I went inside. Just as I was about to walk out the door, I noticed the bulletin on the wall. Besides the usual ads, party options, and service promotions, I focused my eyes on the bright yellow flyer with a silhouette of a couple holding hands. Maybe the hopeless and cheesy romantic inside of me stirred awake from its slumber. Somehow the idea of meeting someone new appealed to me. Not for a romantic relationship, though. Preferably someone with a good-paying job that could help contribute to some bills. My back was literally against a wall, and I was out of options. Within a matter of minutes, I downloaded the app and created a profile on the walk back to the trailer.
Two weeks later.
Good morning beautiful
Morning! I can’t wait to see you today! We have reservations at Skytop Restaurant for 7.
Perfect! I’ve heard great things about the restaurant, can’t wait!
Enjoy your day, and I’ll see you later this evening
U do the same
His was name was Jackson Miller. Jackson, a thirty-something-year-old man with a passion for baseball, cigars, and fast cars. He’d moved from El Paso, Texas after graduating college with a master’s degree in communication. A few of his friends moved out west to Silicon Valley to launch their tech companies. Jackson found his fortune in creating a wealthy consulting firm for the rich and wealthy of Milwaukee. We’d matched on the online dating site, Mingle Milwaukee. I began to lose hope after being on the site for a while and no luck. Most guys just wanted to hookup. The girls were looking for a free meal ticket. I counted down the days of giving up on the app when I had matched with Jackson.
His bio made me laugh instantly. He joked about dying alone at 30, and his mom notifying all his potential matches of his untimely death. We had chemistry from the moment we started chatting. Jackson was a well-educated goofball who was looking for friendship in a city of cold, wounded hearts. I let him know that I was fresh out of a situation and wasn’t looking to rush into anything. Jackson understood and respected my boundaries. We eventually exchanged numbers and connected offline. I knew Jackson would want to meet sooner than later. I needed some cash, so I took a part-time job at the local diner working nights and weekend. I made just enough to pay the light bill and keep my cell phone on. My dream roommate hadn’t been discovered as of yet. So, I had to do what I had to do.
I purchased a cute dress from the local thrift store and made it home just in time to prepare for my date. I’d managed to paint my nails and toes hot pink with some drug store polish. I found my mother’s diamond-studded earrings to hide my big ears. By the time six o’clock arrived, I was spruced up and ready to meet Jackson at the restaurant. I called an Uber to drop me off at the location. The restaurant was absolutely breathtaking.
The doorman greeted every patron with a charming smile as
they stepped onto the red carpet. Walking up to the gold-encrusted glass doors made my heart skipped a few beats. I was surrounded by some of the ritziest and posh people in Milwaukee. People, young and old, entered the restaurant; pranced and galloped toward the doorman in their best designer clothes. They sparkled with diamonds dripping from ear to ear. The men looked like dapper gentlemen out of a movie or magazine. It was a glamorous affair as I modestly asked for directions to meet my date inside the restaurant.
“Excuse me, sir, I’m wondering if you could help me?” I asked innocently.
The doorman bent his back a little to meet me at eye level. My five-foot, two-inch frame felt much smaller when standing next to his six-foot body. He smiled at me with his broad shoulders and thick grey mustache. His pale skin and enchanting blue eyes reminded me of my father. He cleared his throat and straightened his back.
“You will have to take the elevator to the third floor and check-in with the hostess. He or she will escort you to your party,” he confirmed.
“Oh my!” I responded. “Thanks so much, I’ll do just that.”
“Enjoy your evening, ma’am,” he suggested and pulled open the door for me with his white glove.
I nodded once more and smiled graciously in his direction. As soon as I entered the restaurant, I was hit with a sharp chill of cold air. A brief chill tingled my skin as I wiggled inside my high-heeled shoes. I’d stepped into a different world. The allure of success permeated the air as diamond-encrusted lighting hung from the ceiling. The marbled floor led me to the elevators in the far-right corner. I was intrigued by what type of environment I was walking into as each step became more cumbersome than the last. I stood at the elevator door, waiting patiently for it to open. As soon as the doors opened, I was greeted by a handsome brown skin man in a custom red blazer, white gloves, and black top hat.
He smiled and said, “Good evening, ma’am will you be dining with us today?” he asked eloquently.
“I do believe I am. Thank you,” I replied.
My simple black dress hugged my curves nicely as I entered the warm and stylish elevator. The ruffled feathers on the end of my dress complimented the light gold backdrop of the elevator. I didn’t know whether I should make conversation or stand quietly in the corner. I followed the elevator guy’s lead and stood silently in the corner to the right. I stared down at my shoes, counting my toes. It was the only thing I could think of doing besides feeling awkward.
The elevator dinged and announced the second floor. The doors opened, and a man with a peppered gray mane and beautiful dark brown eyes walked inside. Immediately his eyes drew me into him. He flashed a smile and greeted me, hello.
“Hello,” I mumbled and darted my eyes.
“You look magnificent tonight,” he said in a deep baritone.
I pulled on my dress a little nervously and began to blush.
“Oh, why thank you,” I responded. “You look rather dashing yourself this evening. Special occasion?
He chuckled a bit and ran his left hand through his thick mane.
“You could say that … The first date,” he confirmed with a light shrug.
I raised my eyebrow and nodded. I slowly took all of him in, from head to toe. He was dressed in black slacks, a crisp white-collared shirt, custom black blazer, and rusty, reddish-brown loafers completed his look. His oversized black watch and diamond cufflinks complimented his style and age. His woodsy aroma aroused my senses and tickled my nose as my juices started flowing between my thighs. I was attracted to him, but, wasn’t willing to say it out loud. I played it cool a little while longer.
“Ouch!” We both laughed.
“Agreed,” he said with a nod. “We’ll see how it goes … wish me luck.”
“Half the battle is showing up so ….” I retorted.
“True,” he nodded approvingly.
“Where did you meet?” I asked curiously.
Bashfully, he looked away and said, “Don’t judge me, ok?”
“I promise.”
“We met on Mingle Milwaukee, the online dating site.”
“Interesting.” I laughed.
“Are you laughing at me or with me? I can’t tell …” he questioned.
“Definitely with you,” I affirmed. “I’m on the site, too.”
“Oh yeah, wow! You’re so gorgeous. I’m sure guys are filling up your inbox,” he suggested.
“Maybe,” I smirked.
“We should connect. What’s your screen name?” he asked as he took out his phone.
“I’m LittleDebbiesSecret101.”
He cracked a smile, “Clever and original. I like that.”
“I’m Maverick1801… it’s a long story,” he laughed.
The elevator door chimed for the third floor.
“I’m Nathan by the way.” He extended his hand in my direction.
I stared back at his hand and walked out of the elevator. Shocked by my aloof behavior, Nathan watched me walk out of the elevator. Just as the doors closed, I turned around and looked back at his eyes and said, “Christina.”
The elevator doors closed, and I headed over to the hostess. I glanced at my phone to check the time. I was fifteen minutes early for my date. I gave the hostess my name, and she checked me in. She escorted me over to the bar until my date arrived. I was tempted to order a new drink with the little money in my pocket. I decided to hold off just in case I had an emergency. There were many men around in the restaurant. Many were much older than Macon. I could tell by their style of dress and conversation that those were men with money, power, and access to an elite world. I was immediately attracted to the endless possibilities of falling in love with someone who could give me the life and love I deserved without hassle. I waited patiently for my date, Jackson, to arrive. Somehow my mind kept going back to the handsome stranger in the elevator. I couldn’t deny the spark between us. There was almost something magical and perfect about it.
I pulled out my phone and looked up his profile on Mingle Milwaukee. His photogenic face popped up on my phone. Already I saw a request to connect pending in my inbox.
I wasn't quite ready to accept. I browsed through a few of his photos to learn more about him.
In his bio was a quote from Einstein. He went on to share that he was a single, divorced father and looking for love with the perfect woman. In his spare time, he enjoyed fine arts and cooking Italian food. There were only three photos of Nathan that you could see publicly. To see more, you had to accept the request to connect. I was intrigued by the last picture the most because it was a beautiful snapshot of him standing in front of a running 1958 Chevy fire engine red with sunglasses. He looked happy and at peace. I accepted the request to connect.
More time passed, and I realized I’d been stood up by Jackson. I darted my eyes around the room and took the courage to waltz out of the restaurant with my dignity intact. A part of me wanted to call and give him a good piece of my mind. If I had learned anything from dating Macon for years, it was that I shouldn’t waste my breath. I passed everyone I met coming up into the restaurant. I did my best to hide my face and disappointment.
“Have a good night, ma’am,” the doorman tossed in my direction. I nodded and picked up my pace to run toward my Lyft, waiting at the curb. As soon as I opened the car door, I released my frustration and drove down the road in tears.
1
Nathan
I don’t think Christina knew I was standing behind the doorman, waiting for my car. I wanted to talk to her once more; but decided another time might be better. I’d rehearsed what I was going to say to her at least ten times in my head. I couldn’t get the beautiful image of her smile flashing at me out of my head. It was like she’d put a spell on me the moment we exchanged words in the elevator. There was just something about her aura that I was immensely drawn to.
Later that night, I contacted the agency for her phone number. It took some persuading since it was against company policy. However, once I explained that I was
a highly respected and sought-after psychologist, conducting research, they gave me some wiggle room.
I held on to her phone number for a few hours. It was in black ink on my legal notepad sitting at my desk. I didn’t want to mess things up, again.
My date from the previous night had made it quite clear that we weren’t compatible, and that she was looking for an excuse to make her ex mad. I wasn’t familiar with being a pawn in someone’s agenda to light a fire underneath someone’s ass. Instead of bolting out of the restaurant as soon as her bullshit pierced my ears, I enjoyed my dinner and wine and advised the server we would be splitting the check. I left a hundred-dollar bill on the table and walked out. What happened after that was up to my date.
Her name was Kathleen, she went by Kat with a K. She had the legs of a goddess and the body of an Amazon princess. Although I was immensely attracted to her physically, my attraction grew by leaps and bounds by our conversations daily. She stimulated me with her in-depth and critical knowledge on foreign affairs and passion for philanthropy. Like me, she was divorced with adult children. Her husband had already remarried quickly after their divorce ended a few years earlier. Kat was in the dating pool scrambling for a helpmate with a deflating life jacket.
When I lost my wife, Cynthia, to breast cancer. I vowed I would never love another woman as deeply as I loved her. But, after our son, Macon, grew up and went off to college, I found an empty house more discomforting to live in alone. Macon was in grade school when his mother died. Cynthia and I never wanted Macon to grow up alone. When she got diagnosed, we were in the process of trying for baby number two. I knew what it was like to grow up in this world alone. I didn’t want the same for my son.
Macon and I lifted each other up after Cynthia died. He became my friend and my son. I knew my son would need me around at some point in his life to be there for his family. Someday.
I knew the only way I could get over my broken heart was to get back out and start dating again. Kat was the first woman I’d met online and with whom I thought I could see myself long-term. Imagine my disappointment when I discovered she was a wolf in sheep’s clothing like all the rest. I almost wanted to give up on dating, especially online.
