by Barb Han
“Did your father and Rose ever go out?” she asked.
He shook his head.
“Why not?” Ella toyed with the fork.
“Honestly? I don’t know. Pop had feelings for her. I didn’t realize that until I was grown, but it’s obvious to me as a man.” Holden glanced up. “Guess the timing was never right.”
“Shame. He sounds like a wonderful man and Rose is amazing. Plus, you would’ve grown up eating her chalupas.” Ella smiled even though her heart dropped when he’d made the comment about timing. It applied to them, too.
“Her cooking skills would’ve been a definite plus.” Holden stood up and she figured that was his way of saying he was done sharing.
Ella had to admit she was surprised at the change in him since visiting Rose. He seemed calmer, more at peace. Rose would’ve made a great mother.
“Any chance we can go into Cattle Barge safely?” she asked as he offered to take her plate.
“It wouldn’t be a good idea,” he said as a hint of that earlier fear flashed in his eyes.
“This feels like a stalemate. How are we supposed to make progress if we can’t ask people questions or poke around?” Ella followed him inside.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about that. We could head to San Antonio before sunrise. Do a little digging online at an internet café,” he said. “I’d like to make a few calls, too. I might be able to get a little more information from your acquaintances.”
“What makes you think that’ll help?” she asked.
“I’ve been thinking about your charity work. We need to see if any of your projects could have had a negative impact on anyone,” he said.
“Sounds like looking for a needle in a haystack,” she stated.
“It is. But we have to start somewhere and talking about it might help you remember.” Holden stretched his long muscular legs. “Have you thought more about those last few days before you went hiking?”
“Yes, but it doesn’t seem to be helping. I end up with a headache.” She frowned. “Will it be safe for you in San Antonio? It’s a big city and people could be watching for you.”
“We’ll have to play it careful. The murders happened two years ago and in Virginia, so they shouldn’t be top of mind anymore. I’d go back to Rose’s but that would be too risky for her.” He turned on the water in the small sink and hand washed the pair of dishes.
“I know a place we can go in San Antonio,” she said. “It’s small but has high-speed internet and everything we’d need.”
“Any place familiar to you could put us in danger. Whoever is tracking you might know about it,” he said. “Since we don’t have a clue who is behind your attacks, we don’t truly know how close they are to you.”
“I could call in a favor from a friend,” she said. “I know people who would be loyal to me.”
“That may be true under normal circumstances, but believe me when I say a persistent person can break down pretty much every barrier.” He wiped water from the plates and stacked them. “Besides, you wouldn’t want to put your friends in danger by giving them information that could lead to you.”
“I hadn’t thought about it like that,” she said, realizing that was most likely all he’d thought about since being alone after his girlfriend and father had been killed. The past week had been hell for her being shut out from everything she cared about and disconnected from everyone she loved. She couldn’t imagine living like this for two years and especially after losing two people he cared so much about. Other than Rose, they were all he had.
“There’s something else,” he said. “While we’re there I thought it might be a good idea to do a little digging into my past. See what kinds of stories have been running about me since I disappeared. That might give me an idea of who’s trying to find me and why. I never could figure out why local police were involved but enough time has passed now that it should be safe for me to surface and dig around.”
“I think that’s a great idea.” Ella managed a smile. When she’d first met Holden, he seemed uninterested in trying to find the truth. His life had become about staying off the grid and surviving day to day. She saw this as progress, good progress toward him reclaiming life.
“We’ll grab a motel room in San Antonio,” he continued. “See what we can come up with on a computer. I have a few tricks up my sleeve and by the time anyone figures out the IP address, we’ll be long gone.”
Ella nodded. “When do we leave?”
“Now,” he said.
* * *
“MIND IF I stretch my legs before we sit on that bike for a few hours?” Ella asked, those cornflower blue eyes breaking down his walls.
“Not as long as I can go with you. I can use a walk,” he said. Food was done, dishes were handled and he’d wiped the place clean of fingerprints. He had no intention of letting her out of his sight again after the sedan incident.
“It feels like we’re a long way from answers.” Ella started toward the trees and he followed.
“Which is why we have to change our approach,” he said. Part of him wanted to hunker down right where they were and take a minute to catch his breath. Their luck wouldn’t last forever. Ella Butler was big news and it seemed like everyone had a camera and a social media account ready to post news in a few clicks. He couldn’t leave her alone and taking her with him to get supplies was risky. In the late-August Texas heat she wouldn’t survive for long, and if he took her completely off the grid, they wouldn’t know when it was safe for her to come home. Unlike him, she had a life worth returning to. Was that the reason he felt especially drawn to her? It had been so easy for him to disappear. There was no one counting on him, no one expecting him to come back. No one except Rose, Ella would argue. She’d be right, too. He hadn’t realized what this was doing to Rose until he’d seen the worry lines etched in her face.
As for Ella, she deserved to get back to her ranch and the land she loved so much. She was doing important work whereas he’d felt like a drifter since returning to the United States from the action overseas. Time had provided perspective and, looking back, he could see that he’d kept everyone at arm’s length. Maybe his and Karen’s relationship could’ve gone somewhere if he’d let her in. But that only made the guilt worse. She’d died because she’d been in his home at the wrong time. Holden knew there’d been a cover-up, but why? Questions he hadn’t allowed himself to ask in two years started surfacing.
“Where are you from originally? You don’t have an accent, so I can’t place you,” Ella said, breaking into his heavy thoughts as they walked.
“I’m from everywhere,” he supplied.
She shot him a look.
“Military brat,” he said.
“I already know that. You had to have been born somewhere,” she countered.
“Colorado Springs,” he said.
She responded by cocking an eyebrow.
“It’s the truth,” he said, holding his hands up in the universal sign of surrender.
She increased her pace, moving farther from the tiny house that had felt like a temporary home. A little voice said it felt like that because of Ella.
“What?” he asked. “Am I doing it again?”
“Doing what?”
“I already told you that it’s been a while since I’ve had a real conversation with another human being. I also plainly stated that I’m no good at it to begin with—”
This time her hands came up to stop him.
“You’re doing better than you think,” she said. “I wouldn’t even be alive right now if it wasn’t for you. Thank you for everything you’re doing for me. I can see that it’s taking you out of your comfort zone and putting you in danger and I just want you to know that I appreciate it.”
Holden stayed quiet for a long time. A thousand thoughts raced through his head. He finally settled on “Yo
u’re welcome.”
Ella swatted at a bug as she stomped ahead with a smile. “Did you spend much time in Colorado?”
“Not really. We moved every couple of years, so I never really got attached to one place,” he continued.
“That must’ve been hard in high school.” She glanced at him.
“I managed to get out with a diploma. Although I’m not sure how. I got into trouble. Guess you could say I was a brat.” Holden grinned.
“I doubt it,” she said, rewarding him with another small smile that was sweet and sexy at the same time. “At least this partly explains why you’re so self-reliant.”
“All my self-reliance can make me difficult to get along with,” he warned, and she immediately made a sound.
“I have noticed that you can be—”
“Stubborn.”
“Determined,” she corrected. “But your skills and knowledge have been useful in keeping me alive, so I’m not about to complain. Even if you can be a little blunt at times.”
Holden grunted. “Say what you mean. I’m a jerk.”
Ella stopped and turned to look at him. She fisted her right hand and rested it on her hip as she seemed to study his features.
“Are you always this hard on yourself?” She stared into his eyes when he didn’t respond. “Never mind. I can already tell the answer to that question. Yes.”
“We should get on the road,” Holden said. Talking about himself, opening up to another person, was foreign. Especially since it was so easy to do with Ella.
“Okay,” she responded. “But first you should know that you always change the subject when I try to talk about you.”
“There really isn’t much to tell,” he said, and she made another one of those harrumph noises that sounded like it tore straight from her throat.
“I could probably write a book about your experiences,” she said. “And I’m pretty sure the least exciting thing in your life would be more thrilling than anything I’ve ever done.”
Holden caught her stare and intensified his gaze. “I could tell you everything about my past. But then I’d have to kill you.”
Silence stretched on between them in a checkmate. Until Holden burst out laughing and then she did, too.
“You didn’t believe that load of nonsense, did you?” he teased as she swatted his arm.
“Only because I know you were in the military and I assume most of what you did there is classified,” she said.
She reached out to swat him again and he caught her hand in his, ignoring her delicate, silky skin.
“At least you know I have a sense of humor now,” he said, figuring touching her had been another mistake. His were racking up. He hoped it wasn’t a mistake to dig into the past, too. This was the first time in two years he could let himself hope to find answers and bring justice to the person behind the murders.
“You call that funny?” She withdrew her hand.
“I thought it was,” he said.
“You really have been alone for a long time.” She looked indignant right before her face broke into a wide smile. “See. I can do it, too.”
Holden didn’t hold back his laugh. “We should head back and then get on the road.”
“Think I can check in with my family again?” she asked. “Might be able to fill in the gaps in my memory.”
His first response would be hell no. But the sorrow mixed with hope in her eyes made him think twice.
“We’ll look online first. If anything happened to one of your family members, it would be news,” he said. “And then we’ll play it by ear.”
He wasn’t exactly promising her contact but knowing everyone was okay would ease some of her stress. He wanted to give her that much.
She twined their fingers and he didn’t stop her even though alarm bells sounded off at her touch.
The campsite wasn’t more than twenty yards away. As they neared the clearing, Holden heard noises. He stopped and listened, squeezing Ella’s hand to catch her attention. He motioned for her to crouch down and then bit back a curse.
Moving stealthily along the tree line, Holden kept diligent watch ahead. Had the teens been a cover, or had they alerted someone to his and Ella’s presence? His friend who owned the place wasn’t coming back. As they neared, he heard banging on the door.
“David?” an unfamiliar male voice said. “Are you home?”
Holden navigated him and Ella around the woods so that they could get a look at the front door. Branches snapped as Ella moved and that would give them away to a trained ear. No way was he separating the two of them no matter how much noise she made. As it was his heart pounded his rib cage and all his muscles chorded, thinking someone might’ve found them.
Moving through the underbrush, Holden positioned them so that they could see the front door. A male figure, thin, wearing dress slacks and a collared shirt with short sleeves stood there. He was holding something in his hands and had to reposition it, balancing the bundle against his arm and side in order to free his hand and knock.
The situation looked innocent enough but Holden wasn’t taking any chances when it came to Ella. He held her hand and watched for suspicious activity from the intruder.
After a few more rounds of knocking without an answer, the older man set down the bundle and reclaimed the driver’s seat of his vintage Ford pickup. A minute later, there was only dust settling along the drive.
Holden waited just in case the old man returned.
When enough time had passed, he stood. “Stay right here until I give a signal.”
“Who was that?” she whispered, her eyes wide.
“Probably a neighbor thinking that David had come home, but I need to check the contents of that package before you get anywhere near it.” His tone was emphatic.
“What if something happens to you, Holden? Where does that leave me?” She made a good point. Without him, she had little chance of survival.
“Okay. Together.” He linked their fingers and realized immediately that she was trembling. He never would’ve known she was scared based on her calm exterior. Ella Butler knew how to put on a brave face.
Holden picked up a branch and moved slowly toward the package, measuring his steps carefully. “We treat this like a ticking bomb, okay?”
“Got it,” Ella replied. Her palm was sweaty, so he gave her hand a squeeze for reassurance.
“We’ll be fine.” He moved with precision toward the object. As he neared, he saw the small box filled with what looked like produce. Brightly colored apples, bananas and zucchinis peeked over the rim.
Holden maintained as safe a distance as he could. He didn’t specialize in bombs but it didn’t take a specialist to know being this close to one wasn’t the smartest idea. He tossed a stick at the box.
Thankfully, nothing happened.
“We’re good,” he said. But they weren’t. Just because they’d dodged a bullet this time didn’t mean they would the next.
Holden needed to keep that thought close to his heart as they moved into a more densely populated area.
Nowhere was safe.
Chapter Thirteen
The motel not too far from State Highway 151 was sparse but had all the basics—two beds and a decent shower. The best part was that they could pay with cash and Holden seemed to have more than enough to cover the bill.
“I hope you’ll let me repay you for all of this,” Ella said, grateful for clean clothes, hard walls and a shower. With Holden, she never knew what to expect, and she could admit there was an excitement about that.
He shot her a look that said he wouldn’t.
She started to argue but he brought his hand up.
“I haven’t done much of anything for anyone for the past twenty-five months, so no arguments,” he said with a tone that said it wouldn’t do any good to protes
t.
And on some level, she understood. She would figure out a way to thank him because he’d gone above and beyond anything she could ever expect. It was a foreign feeling being on the other end of someone’s kindness. Ella had always been the one taking charge and thinking of everyone else. Maybe she could take what she was learning back to the ranch with her and allow others to do more to pitch in. It had felt like the weight of the world rested on her shoulders her entire life.
“The guy at the front desk said there’s an internet café a couple of miles from here open until 2:00 a.m.,” he said.
“What kind of place is open that late?” she asked almost to herself as she pulled her hair off her face and into a ponytail. It was barely dark, so without looking at the clock Ella knew that it must be after eight o’clock.
“We’ll see.”
* * *
THE PLACE WAS actually a hookah lounge. The atmosphere was perfect for going unnoticed. It was dark inside and surprisingly not as smoky as she’d expected. There were small round tables with pillows on the floor. And the place was filled with what looked like college-aged kids who were chatting in between taking puffs off the hookahs positioned in the center of their tables. Ella had never been to one before but she knew others who frequented them in college. Come to think of it, Ella hadn’t done much socializing in the four years she’d attended university, and she’d gone to a state school legendary for its parties. She’d never once thought about letting loose and having a good time. Her life had been filled with purpose and she’d always been an overachiever. A thought struck. Had she been trying to find her worth in being the perfect student? The perfect daughter? The perfect sister?
The revelation caught her off guard. She loved the ranch but had she thrown herself into her job so that she could win approval from her dad? The realization knocked her back a step mentally.
“How many?” the hostess said with a smile, interrupting Ella’s thoughts. The young woman, maybe twenty, had beautiful dark hair and wore a jeweled dot on her forehead. She batted long dark lashes at Holden and Ella bristled.
