by James Tayler
“Oh my god… I can’t believe that you just did that. You’re so brave and strong and that woman owes you her life.” I could tell that this little bitch wanted more than just a casual touch. She was swarming over Jasper, holding onto his muscular biceps and squeezing them. She was staring at him with wide eyed wonderment. “I think that you should let her go and get checked out at the emergency room.” It was evident that she was playing the game of seductress. “I think that I should help take care that cut on your hand.” He must’ve gotten injured by my zipper that had probably gotten caught in his hand.” I have a great bedside manner and I would love to show you the same kind of compassion that you showed her.” I almost grabbed her by the hair and forced her head into the toilet down the hallway.
She was really getting on my nerves and to slap her across the face would only confirm that my feelings for Jasper were stronger than I imagined. I wasn’t sure if I would call it love, but there was something between us that went beyond just saving my life.
“I would really like to take you up on that offer, but I have to get to work. Maybe I can take a rain check.” It was a good thing that she didn’t know that he lived with his mother across the street. Had she had any idea, then stalking him would become the order of the day. It wasn’t like her intentions weren’t clear, but you just had to look at her nipples that were, so hard that they were poking through the material of her red blouse to know that her excitement for this man was going above and beyond.
This blond headed bimbo stepped in front of him and placed her hands against his hard packed chest. “Are you sure that there isn’t anything that I can do to change your mind.” She looked at him coyly and then started to unbutton the first two buttons to give him a healthy look at her cleavage. To his credit, he did not look directly at the sight in front of him. It was a far cry from what other guys would do in this position. She had this animal magnetism that made it almost impossible for any man to walk away without sampling her wares.
“I think that I need to make sure that she’s safe. I appreciate the offer, but I will have to decline this one time.” His conviction and his faith had prevented him from jumping her bones and pinning her to the bed in obvious passion “You have done yourself a service here. If people were like you, then we wouldn’t have death and famine every time that I turn around. Your goodness helped me to save a life today. You should feel proud about that accomplishment. Not a lot of people can say that they were important enough to have somebody’s life in the palm of their hand.” His words made her blush and I could see the flush along her chest and this need to strip down to nothing and give him something to smile about.
“I don’t think that I’m a hero. The real hero is those of you that put your lives on the line every day for people like us. You deserve more than just a congratulatory hug.” I was getting a little short and I wanted to attack her and tear her blond locks out of her head. “You are the real hero and I hope that you never forget that.” We walked past her and she took that opportunity to grab onto a piece of heaven. She squeezed his ass with both hands and then reeled back and slapped it with a resounding smack that echoed in the room.
He jumped a little, but then he continued to move through the door and closed it behind him. We were walking down the hallway and I turned to him and he put his hand over his mouth and started to laugh. He went down into the stairwell, staying away from the elevator and then he stood on the next landing laughing his fool head off. “If I had a dollar for every time a woman threw themselves at me, I would probably be a billionaire by now.” I knew that was most likely an exaggeration, but I could see the reason why a woman would take liberties. “That girl didn’t even realize that I had been there before. Her kitchen got set on fire by an old boyfriend and we had to ride in to help her put out the flames. I was not the only one that she was all over. I do believe that Owen had the misfortune of getting together with her. He told us that she was crazy in the bedroom, but sometimes the crazy ones are the most adventurous and kinky.” He was laughing, so hard that he had to hold onto his knees with his head bowed and breathing heavy.
“It’s women like that that give women like me a bad name. They are just groupies and I wouldn’t exactly call me something like that. I’ve always had a fascination with men in uniform, but it’s mostly directed to those that walk into the heat of the kitchen with no regard for their own safety.” He glanced up at me and I could tell from his expression that he found my admiration something to his liking. “I would never try to take advantage of you. I would like to get to know more about you.” Every minute that passed got us closer and closer to the time that would make most people cringe at the very notion of 911.
Chapter four
There wasn’t anything that we had to say. I think the attraction between us was right there for the both of us to see. There was a part of me that wanted to grab him and do unspeakable things to him into the wee hours of the morning. I could never bring myself to do something like that, especially when giving my body was a privilege and not a god given right.
“I think that you will like my mother. She’s a little opinionated and I wouldn’t take that to heart if I were you. If it’s all the same, I really don’t think that we should tell her how we met. She might see you, as having some kind of nightingale syndrome and I wouldn’t blame her. It wouldn’t be the first time and I doubt that it’s going to be the last time.” His strength and character out weighed the fact that he was a hunk of burning love literally and figuratively. He had everything going for him and the entire package was something that I could truly sink my teeth into.
“I’m not sure that it’s a good idea that I meet your mother. I don’t even know how long I’m going to be here in New York. My work, as a psychologist is mostly freelance and I go where I’m needed the most.” I was setting it up, so that he wouldn’t feel slighted if I were to disappear without even a notion of where I was going. “I swear that there are times and I don’t even know where I’m at. Maybe that is what happened to me today. Falling off that roof looking at the sunset was foolish, but I don’t regret any of it and I wouldn’t even change one thing.” He was shielding me from the traffic and we were basically playing frogger with metal pieces of machinery that could easily kill upon contact.
“I think my mother will be suspicious by how you damaged your coat, but I doubt very seriously that she’ll question you on it. She might make some passing comment, but there’s no reason to placate her. She believes that honesty is the best policy, but sometimes little white lies are made to prevent somebody from getting hurt. I don’t want to give her any ammunition or make her think that there’s anything more here than just a casual acquaintance. I want more than that, but I would never try to presume to place my will on any one. I know I might sound a little old fashioned, but that is how I was raised. I’ve always respected women and men that place their hands on them without permission makes me see red. I want more than anything to get each and every one of them into a dark room for a few minutes.” I could only imagine what he had in mind and the smirk on his face was a good way to know that he was serious about all of this.
“Your mother sounds like somebody that has your best interest at heart. You shouldn’t fault her for that and she’s just trying to look out for her little boy. You come from a broken home and for her to raise you on her own had to be a very challenging job. I doubt very seriously that you were a cordial child and I imagine that you got yourself into a lot of trouble trying to find a father figure to keep you from doing something stupid. There were probably plenty of fights and ones that you regret to this day. You make up for it by staying with her and giving her the company that will keep her from going crazy. You could easily move out, but I don’t see you doing that, unless of course you found a woman to spend your time with.”
It seemed a little cliché that he would be living at home over the age of 30, but I could see that the bond between mother and child was a deep one. There was no way that th
ey could separate from each other, unless they were forced to do so. I wasn’t going to be the one to stand in the way of their emotional tie.
“I’m sorry, but the elevator is broken and we’re going to have to take the stairs. I would suggest putting you over my back and carrying you the rest of the way.” I was feeling a little shaky from what I had gone through, but I was no wilted flower and I wasn’t going to pretend to be one for anyone. “Never mind. Forget I said that. It was only meant, as a joke, but I can tell from your face that you didn’t exactly like what I had to say. For that, I’m apologetic and I promise that I will never try to subjugate you in any way.” We went down the hallway and he knocked on the door.
It wasn’t long before the sound of footprints was soon followed by a small diminutive older woman that was now looking me up and down. “I was going to ask why you’re not at work, but I can see that something more important came up.” There was this icy feel and I could sense the tension like a knife in the air.
“Mother, I met this woman this morning and she has something that needs your undivided attention. I know that you haven’t done this in years, but I assume that it’s like riding a bicycle.” He had my jacket over his arm and was now presenting it to his mother to inspect. “I’ve seen you do some marvels in your day and I’m hoping that you can pull one of those miracles out of your bag of tricks.” I didn’t want to put her out, but it appeared that the challenge was too hard to resist. “I don’t expect you to make it new again, but I would hope that you would do everything in your power to make it, so that she doesn’t lose one of her prize possessions. We all have clothing like that and I’ve seen you wear this white tee shirt that holds a deep memory for you.” She was pulling at her collar and I noticed that the tee shirt in question was hidden underneath the white sweater that she was wearing.
“Most of my peers would say that this was ruined, but they do not speak for me. I can fix it, but I’m going to have to go into my room for at least 20 minutes. You can stay and wait for it, but I think that my son should get his ass to work.” She didn’t wait for him to say anything, before storming off with my jacket down into the hall and into a bedroom before slamming the door closed.
“I don’t think that she said two words to me the entire time that I was standing here. I can wait for my jacket, if you really need to go.” I knew what he was up against and I could have said something, but it was not my place. I didn’t even know if he was among those that had fallen. I could certainly look up his name after I got back, but that was not a research project that I was looking forward to. Seeing his name would kill me inside and make me lose a little part of myself along the way.
“They won’t expect me for another 15 minutes. If my mother doesn’t come out in that time, then I will have to make a hasty exit. It’s only going to take me a couple minutes to get down to the station from here.” I’d seen on our walk across the street that the towers were in the distance. They looked like they could stand up to anything, but that didn’t include a jumbo jet filled with fuel that was going to burn through the support beams and bring that building down to its knees. If that wasn’t bad enough, then the other one would follow suit shortly after leaving an open skyline that should never have been.
I could’ve called and made an anonymous warning. They would probably think that I was some kind of crackpot and by the time that they realized I wasn’t, then things would’ve been deadly. I had to play by the rules, but I didn’t have to be happy about it.
I sat down at the island in the kitchen, running my fingers over the butcher block and watching Jasper moved with relative ease to one corner or the other. He knew his way around and I was soon accosted with a warm cup. I looked down at the contents, thinking that it was going to be caffeine, but pleasantly surprised to see that it was something more to warm my insides and lower my inhibitions at the same time.
“I promised you that I would find you something a little stronger than coffee. I decided that a hot toddy is just what the Dr. ordered. It’ll help soothe your nerves and maybe make you give me some kind of insight to why you would be up on the roof. If you expect me to believe that you were there for the sunset, then you’re going to be waiting a long time. I know that you didn’t go up there to kill yourself. It may have looked like that at the time, but I can see that things are not exactly what they appear.” For him to know that made him astute and a little too much for me to handle.
Chapter five
I sat there in silence wondering if I could truly let him go. He just finished saying that everybody had a purpose and if his was to go to his destiny, then who was I to stand in his way. “I can see that there’s something bothering you, Carolina. There’s no reason to have secrets between us. I’d rather that you just be honest with me.” For some reason, this was bothering me and causing me to show it in a profound way. I touched his arm and ran my fingers along the length of it, while showing how I was feeling inside.
“I’m not usually…like this. I’m usually more…in control of myself.” I was blubbering like a little girl and I was trying to wipe away the tears with frustration. I didn’t want him to see this side of me. I’d always considered myself to be very adventurous. I was the one that liked to take risks and I would always take my sister along to force her to do something that was out of character. It didn’t matter if it was jumping our bikes over the gorge or setting our sights on a college student when we were still in high school. I was the devil and she was the angel.
“It’s OK and everybody has to have time to get in touch with their feelings. I don’t begrudge you crying. It shows that you are human. I’ve been known to shed a tear for those that I couldn’t save in my line of work. I don’t show weakness in front of others, but I do break down after the fact. I grieve for their loss and maybe I shouldn’t get so emotionally involved. I know that and I’m sure that you’re going to say that I need to separate my work life from my private life in order to really live for the first time. You’re not the first one to say that to me.” I hadn’t said a thing and he was doing all the talking.
I kept looking at the clock and dreading the days that would follow this one. It was such a profound moment in history that people would always remember, when they would most likely want to forget. I had several people come to me with anxiety over what terrorists would do. They were afraid to fly and I couldn’t blame them, but I needed to get past the walls that they had built up in self defense.
“I think for the first time in my life that I have gotten in touch with a part of myself that I didn’t want anyone to see.” I’d never grieved for those patients that I lost. I prided myself on being able to compartmentalize my feelings and not let them detract me from my duty as a psychologist. I knew going into the trade that not everybody could be saved, but it was those that I did that I took most pride in. “I’m not going to go into this, but I will say that today is a time that most people will never be able to look at the same way again.” He was confused and thinking that I was being a little strange.
“I’m not sure what you mean by that, but I guess you could take it many ways. I know that I will never forget this day, because I found a woman like you. I don’t normally get emotional about entanglements of the heart. I will say that I’ve never met a woman like you and you have this certain something that makes me want to delve underneath the exterior.” I was taking deep breaths and every so often I would take a slug of that hot toddy to keep myself from blurting out that he shouldn’t go.
“I don’t think that your mother is going to have that ready for me anytime soon. You may as well go and join your brethren. They will be waiting for you.” What I didn’t say and wanted to was that his life was over. I didn’t know if he was going to die, but a lot of firefighters did not survive and he might be one of them. I was going to have to allow him to do what he needed to do without question or hesitation on my part. “It would be best that you leave and maybe we can get together later.” I really wanted that, but I had a
feeling that he would either be 6 feet under or ensconced into something that would scar him for the rest of his life.
“I think that I do need to go.” When he got up and went to the door, I blocked his way with my hands over the threshold. He must’ve taken that for initiative. He grabbed me by the back of the neck and kissed me with a feverish passion that could not make me feel any lower. I wanted to tell him, but the kiss only cemented the fact that his destiny lied someplace else other than in my arms. “That was amazing. You made it feel like I was never going to see you again. If that’s the way that it’s going to be like to kiss you all the time, then where do I sign up.” This time, I kissed him and let him know that I wanted him in the worst way by wrapping my leg around his waist.
I felt his excitement and I opened the door and motioned for him to leave. “You have more where that came from. Just keep your head down and be careful for god’s sake. I would never try to tell you how to do your job. I doubt that you would allow anybody to suffer, even if it meant walking into the fray yourself.” I swallowed hard, closing the door behind me and leaning back against it with my hand to my heart.
“I heard what you had to say to my son and I don’t appreciate you filling his head with lies.” She walked over to me with the jacket. She lifted it in the air and turned it at a 360 degree angle, so that I could see what kind of expertise she had in her nimble fingers. I saw the seam, but it was so small that it was hard to register with the human eye. “I think that I am going to get myself a cup of coffee. Maybe you should have one yourself and stop being some kind of hussy that is getting too drunk to realize that she’s making a fool of herself.” I put on the jacket and looked into the mirror to see a reflection of a woman in my own time. This jacket had not been made yet and wouldn’t be for the next 15 years.
