by E. A. Copen
I was always a poor choice to be Death, I thought as I sank onto the bed. I never wanted the mantle in the first place. The only reason I’d accepted it was to help find a killer, and even then, I didn’t understand the full implications of what I’d just taken on. Samedi and Pony had both tricked me into it. Yet if I could go back in time and change it, I wouldn’t have. The Pale Horseman was as much who I was as my magic or the city I loved. I’d still be relieved to give it up when the time came.
There was a knock at the door. Emma was in the attached bathroom, getting cleaned up, so I knew it wasn’t her. Who else would come all the way back here to bother us on our wedding night? I plodded to the door, unlocked it, and pulled it open a crack. Guy, of course.
He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Can we talk for a second?”
I glanced at the bathroom door. The shower was still running, so Emma wasn’t coming out anytime soon. “Sure,” I said and slid through the door to stand in the hallway. “What’s up?”
“I know tonight’s all about celebrating and whatnot, but I don’t want you to lose sight of tomorrow. We’ll have to get started early.”
“I know.”
He nodded, seeming uneasy. “Do you…uh…Do you know how this is supposed to work?”
I shrugged. Last time, I’d just died and woke up in the right place, but there was no guarantee that’d happen again. I had no idea how to navigate the underworld, but I did know someone who could. “I’ll have to speak to Hades or Persephone before we go and one of them will meet us on the other side. Hopefully, Charon will be in a charitable mood and take us as far as Naraka. You ever been to Naraka?”
He shook his head.
“Not a fun place, but it’ll have to be our first stop.” If we could get Hades and Yama together, getting the rest of the gods to show up wouldn’t be too hard. At least I hoped that’d be the case. Yama was a hardcase, a real stickler for the rules. If I showed up there on my own, he’d just try to pass judgment on my soul again. Having Hades there with me would hopefully keep that from happening. He’d vouch for me as the Pale Horseman.
“You sure that’s still what you want to do?” Guy frowned. “Getting a bunch of gods to give up their fortunes isn’t going to be easy. Plus, none of them really have a reason to.”
“Not yet, but they will once I get there.”
His eyebrows shot up. “You have a plan?”
“More of one than usual anyway. No offense, Guy, but I think it’s best if I keep it to myself. I just need you to back me when I make my move, and make sure I get everyone together. If we don’t fix the soul crisis for Ereshkegal and Nergal, they aren’t going to open the door to the Nightlands for us. It’s as simple as that. We need that door open.”
He nodded. “True. I’ll let you worry about how all of that goes down. Once we get to the Nightlands, though, you’re going to have to trust me. Releasing Mask isn’t going to be a walk through the tulips if you catch my drift.”
I grunted in agreement. “Of course not. Why would anything be easy?” The shower shut off and I heard the shower curtain slide aside. “I’ve got to go.”
“Of course.” He patted my shoulder. “Meet you at five in the kitchen.” Guy turned to go back down the hall the way he’d come.
“Hey, Guy.”
He paused and looked back at me.
“You do P.I. work on the side, right? I mean, your card says Eldritch Investigator.”
“Sort of,” he said, turning back around. “Why? Did you have something in mind?”
“Friend of mine is missing. He goes off the grid pretty often, but I haven’t been able to reach him, not using conventional communication or magic. Haven’t been able to get ahold of his usual companions either. He didn’t come to my bachelor party, and that’s not like him. I was hoping you could help me track him down once this is all over. I don’t think it has anything to do with the Old Ones or the Outer Gods or whatever, though. He was pretty deep in with angels and demons.”
“Angels?” Guy snorted and shook his head. “If he was running with them, you’d have better luck bathing in a boiling tar pit than tracking him down. I can call in a few favors and see if anyone I know has seen him, but no guarantees.”
I nodded. “That’s better than nothing. I’ll take it. Thanks, Guy.”
“Sure, kid. Just need a name.”
“Josiah Quinn.”
Guy pulled a pad of paper from his pocket, thumbed to an empty page and jotted the name down. “I’ll see what I can do.”
“Thanks,” I said and went back into the darkened room.
My night spent with Emma was bittersweet. We’d planned on hopping a plane to Hawaii after exchanging vows. I’d promised her sun, sand, and endless sparkling ocean away from all our troubles, and I felt bad that I couldn’t make good on that promise. Still, there was something special about being where we were, huddled together under blankets, knowing most of the rest of the world was thousands of miles away.
“We’ll have to go back eventually,” I said, pulling her tighter against me. “Getting used to normal life is going to be hard. Cleaning house, paying bills, going to work on a regular schedule…”
“I’ll have to explain to mom and dad why we eloped.” She sighed and snuggled in more. “But not for a while. I fully intend to put that off as long as I can.”
I couldn’t help but laugh and kiss her on the top of her head. “Like you said, we’ll throw something else together for them. Just promise me one thing. No seating charts.”
“Done.” She tilted her head up, and we shared another passionate kiss.
My heart sank as the alarm on Emma’s cellphone interrupted us. Four A.M. If we got up now, we’d have just enough time to shower, dress, and have a quiet cup of coffee together before I had to go.
Emma picked up her phone and frowned at the screen, harsh blue light flooding over her tired features. Her thumb slid across the screen and the alarm silenced, but she didn’t lower the phone from her field of view. “What would you say if I told you I didn’t want you to go?”
I put my hand over the phone and guided it back to the end table on her side of the bed. “I’d remind you that this isn’t optional. Remember what Mask is capable of. He’s fighting me, trying to gain control. It’s taking everything I’ve got to keep him from surfacing most of the time, and even still, I can feel him gaining ground.”
She closed her eyes and sighed, shaking her head. “It’s just so hard to believe. You’ve seemed fine.”
Of course, I had. I’d been doing my damnedest to hide that anything was wrong, but things had been getting worse by the hour. The cravings were becoming more common, and I could hear Mask chatting in my head if I stopped to listen. Nothing I did would shut him up for more than a half-hour at a time. Every time I went into the bathroom, I had to avoid looking into the mirror, or I would see his ugly face staring back at me. Trust me when I say that doesn’t do wonders for a guy’s confidence.
Emma shifted in bed, sitting up to get a better look at me. “How bad is it, really?”
I ran my fingers over her arm. “Bad and getting worse. If I don’t go now, I don’t know what he’ll do. He’s in my head, Emma. He’s got his claws in me like a big, angry cat, and I don’t know how to shake him.”
She shook her head. “It doesn’t seem fair. You did everything right. Why does this keep happening to you?”
I sat up and planted a kiss on her cheek. “This is the end of that. Once this is all over, I’m giving up being the Pale Horseman. I know that doesn’t necessarily mean our lives are going to be drama-free going forward, but I think getting out of the Horseman gig will help.”
Emma sighed and let the back of her head fall to the headboard. “And if you don’t come back?”
“Then you promise me you’ll be happy. No matter what, Emma, you deserve happiness.”
“I don’t know how to be happy without you. You made me remember what that feels like. What it feels like to believe in so
mething.” The look she gave me made me want to call Guy back into the room and cancel everything. She was hurting because of me, but there was nothing I could do to take away the pain but get through it.
Still, I made myself smile for her. “Guess I’d better come back then.”
Prepping for the day was a somber affair. We showered together and took our time doing it. Emma worried we’d be late for my appointment with Guy, but I just shrugged it off. What was he going to do? Get started without me?
I hesitated when it came time to step in front of the mirror for a shave. Come on, Laz. How bad can it be? We both know it’s just an illusion. Mask is going to mess with you. I sucked in a deep breath and stepped in front of the mirror.
My heart jumped into my mouth, and I immediately backed away from the mirror.
“What’s the matter?” rasped the black writhing mass in place of my reflection. White fangs appeared and spread into a smile. “Don’t like what you see?”
I squeezed my eyes shut. “It’s not real. It’s just an illusion, Lazarus. Get hold of yourself.”
“Oh, I’m very real. I’m in every thought you think, every word you whisper, every breath you take. I’m as much a part of you as your own skin, and nothing you do will change that.”
I swallowed my fear and opened my eyes, steeling my nerves to confront Mask’s image. “Your days are numbered, asshole. You just wait.”
Mask’s dark chuckle made the hair on my arms and the back of my neck stand on end. “That’s precious. You actually believe simply walking into the Nightlands will free your soul of me. How rich! He’s leading you to your annihilation and you don’t even see it!”
A cold chill slithered down my spine. “He?”
“The Voidwalker. The one you know as Guy Smith. Do you really think he’s helping you out of the goodness of his own heart? Come on, Lazarus. Surely even you know better. He’s a creature from the Nightlands just like me. Just like Lucifer Morningstar. Has anything good ever come from that accursed place?”
“No, he’s on our side.”
“Don’t be an idiot,” Mask sneered. “What do you think is going to happen to you as soon as you get to the Nightlands? How much do you really know about Guy Smith? For all you know, he’s one of my remaining avatars. You know I still have some out there. What proof do you have that he’s not leading you right to me, or to my masters for them to devour you?”
I swallowed. He had a point. I didn’t know Guy hardly at all. He’d just showed up and stepped in. Though he’d saved my life a few times already, that didn’t mean we were on the same side. He did know exactly when and where those Christmas monsters were attacking. Maybe he’d led them there, or maybe they were really there for him and not me. I had no proof at all, yet I was about to put my soul in his hands on the assumption that he was telling the truth.
I pushed away from the wall. “I know he’s not working for you. The fact that you’re trying to turn me against him is all the proof I need. You wouldn’t try to do that if you were winning.”
“Believe what you want,” Mask snapped. “Your plan changes nothing. Going to the Nightlands won’t help you. All it will do is open the way for my masters to come through, which is exactly what I’ve been working toward all this time. So go ahead. Don’t listen to me. I’ve won either way.”
“Lazarus?” Emma cracked open the door and peered in.
I swiped a hand through the steam gathering on the mirror, banishing my vision of Mask. “I’m fine.”
She glanced at the mirror. “I thought I heard you talking to someone. Is everything okay?”
I turned back to the mirror with a sigh. Mask’s reflection was gone, replaced by mine. “Do you think it’d be okay if I skipped shaving for a day?”
Emma shrugged. “I don’t think anyone is going to yell at you for skipping a day, Lazarus.”
“Good.” I turned away from the mirror. “Because I think that’s going to have to wait until I get back.”
Chapter Fourteen
Guy was already in the kitchen when Emma and I went in for our morning coffee. I hesitated at the sight of him, remembering Mask’s warning. It was probably untrue, but the seeds of doubt had been planted. I hoped I was right about him and he was one of the good guys.
Emma went straight to the coffee pot without even acknowledging him.
Guy met my eyes and lowered his cup of black coffee. “Mornin’.”
“Did you even sleep?” I asked, sliding into the seat across from him.
“Did you?”
I shook my head. “Too worried about what will happen if I do.”
Emma slid a cup of coffee in front of me. “I’ll have to make another pot. There was only enough for one.” She kissed my cheek and went back to search the cupboards for coffee, humming Jingle Bells as she did.
“Well, there’ll be plenty of time to sleep when you’re dead.” He opened his coat and produced a flask. “Jazz up your coffee for you?”
“It’s five in the morning,” I said.
Guy shrugged. “It’s five in the afternoon somewhere.”
I wasn’t going to accept, especially considering I didn’t know how alcohol would affect my control over Mask, but it probably didn’t matter. I’d be dead on a slab soon enough. “What the hell?” I said and slid the cup toward him.
“That’s the spirit.” Guy upended the flask over my cup, dumping in a generous helping before lifting the flask. “Cheers,” he said and chugged the rest.
I blew steam from the cup and took a sip. I hadn’t asked what was in the flask, but it didn’t taste like any bourbon or whiskey I’d ever drunk. It was pungent, slightly sour with a bitter edge. Something about it blended well with the coffee, though, turning it into a more palatable version of itself. “Not half bad.”
“You’re welcome,” he grunted.
“So,” said Emma, sitting next to me and crossing her arms on the table, “how is this going to work exactly?”
“Nate is going to get me hooked up to some equipment so he can better monitor me,” I explained. “Hopefully, I wind up right where we need to be and don’t have to go through Osiris’ domain. There’s always a long line of souls waiting to be processed there.”
“Not a short walk from Osiris’ temple to Irkalla,” Guy said.
I nodded in agreement. “But that’s the trek we have to make. I’m hoping we can hitch a ride quickly if we run into Charon. By the way, how are you planning to get to the underworld? Do you…die?”
He shrugged. “Not by conventional means. Don’t get me wrong, my body can be destroyed even if I can heal better and faster than any human. Walking into a nuclear blast would still vaporize me.”
“But a gunshot? Strangulation? Poison?”
“Nope.” He took a big gulp of his coffee. “Afraid I’ve tried most of those already. Ricin is rough on my insides and put me down for a week while I regrew most of them, but didn’t kill me. My cells regenerate too fast. Gift of being a Voidwalker.”
“But the man you’re in isn’t a Voidwalker,” Emma pointed out. “He’s just a regular human.”
Guy leveled his gaze at her. “Not anymore. Just like Lazarus won’t be if he continues to let Mask nest in his soul. That’s why this is so important. Time is of the essence. The longer we wait, the more potential damage he’s doing.”
“No one’s explained to me exactly what a Voidwalker is.” I swallowed another mouthful of my spiked coffee.
“Simple.” Guy shrugged. “I can move between planes of existence as easily as you can move from one room to the next. It’ll make more sense once we get going.”
“So you’ll literally just…step to the other side?” Emma asked.
Guy nodded. “That’s one way of putting it—a very simple way of explaining a much more complex journey. There’s a little space between this existence and the next where I could get stuck if I’m not careful. Nasty place. Do not recommend.” He chugged the rest of his coffee. “Anyway, that’s unlikely. I�
�ve been doing this for a long time. I like to think I know what I’m doing.”
My throat felt tight. I tried to clear it, but that didn’t do any good. Maybe I just needed another drink. With the third sip, however, my tongue felt numb and I started to wonder if something might be wrong. I peered into the inky blackness of my cup. “What did you say you spiked my coffee with?”
“I didn’t.”
I met Guy’s eyes. “Guy, what did you put in my coffee?”
“Just a little vanilla extract, laced with a hefty dose of cyanide.”
“Cyanide?” Emma’s back stiffened.
I pushed up from the table, but my legs weren’t working quite right and I stumbled, falling to the floor. The tightness in my throat worsened, making every breath painful. “What the hell, man?”
Guy opened his mouth to speak, but before he could get a single word out, Emma had a gun in her hands, pointed at him. Why had she brought a gun to breakfast? I guess we were in a potential war zone.
“Sweetheart—”
Emma pulled the trigger. The gun barked three times in quick succession, punching three holes in Guy, one to the head and two to the chest. Perfect marksmanship.
The force of the bullets striking him sent Guy stumbling back a few steps, but he remained upright. Guy sighed and fished around the hole in his head for the bullet. “I already told you that won’t work.” He brought out the smashed bit of lead and dropped it to the kitchen floor.
Remy slid into the doorway, her blade naked. Finn was at her side, grasping a shadow. They surveyed the situation, and Remy charged in to kneel next to me. “What happened?”
Emma kept her gun steady on Guy. “He poisoned Lazarus with cyanide.”
“What?” Nate pushed past Finn and slid to his knees on the floor on my other side. “We have to start treatment right away!”
“Everybody, just calm down.” Guy raised his hands. “Give me a chance to explain.”
Remy stood and brought her sword to his neck. “Start talking. Now.”
