She didn’t understand. “What do you mean?”
He looked away, as if what he had to tell her was too hard to say while staring into her eyes. “I mean, I know what you are. The kind of woman you are. I knew it the day you married my brother. It was like there was a light all around you. And when you smiled at him... Damn. I knew that even though I lived the life that the whole world envied, Jason Lee was the guy who had everything. And deep inside myself, I hated him for it.”
Heather’s chest felt tight. She had to draw in a long, slow breath before she could speak. “But, Lucas, you’re saying you—”
“I fell in love with you. On the day you married my brother. And sometimes, over the past few years, I used to imagine what it might be like, if you were mine. And then, after Jason Lee died, more than once I fantasized about coming back to town for a visit, maybe dropping in on you and seeing how you were doing.
“In fact, I was thinking about dropping in on you when I told Mark we could come here in June. And then those extra stops on my book tour came up. And I didn’t want to let Mark come alone, because then, if I got up the nerve to come later, he’d already have worn out his welcome.”
“Oh, Lucas. Mark could never wear out his welcome with me.”
He shook his head. “Whatever. The point is, I told him we weren’t coming. And he ran away to get here. And then, when he ran away again, it’s pretty obvious what I did.”
“Is it?”
“Hell, yes. I used my son’s disappearance to get a chance with you. It was a low-down, cheap trick. I know it. But I went with it. All the way.”
Heather had to argue. “Oh, Lucas, you will never convince me that your suffering while Mark was gone was only an act.”
“I didn’t say that. I said I used the situation, that’s all.”
“No. You were as...confused by the attraction between us as I was. And really, that first night we spent together was mostly my idea.”
He looked at her patiently. “Heather, one of the most effective ways to seduce a woman is to let her believe that it’s her idea. I spent two nights working on you, telling you my long, sad story, letting you know I was interested. And then, on the night it happened, I was careful to put up a little resistance, to let you do the convincing. I knew exactly what I was doing.”
“But then, the next day, you left. You went back to Monterey.”
“Come on. I told you I’d stay if you gave me a reason. But you didn’t want me to stay. You were thinking of Jason Lee. I could see it in your eyes.”
Heather thought back and knew he was right.
“And anyway.” Lucas went on. “I was only cutting my losses. It wasn’t the end for me. Even if your father and grandfather hadn’t brought you to my door and dropped you in my lap, I’d have been back around eventually to try again.”
“You would?”
“Beyond a shadow of a doubt.”
“Oh, Lucas.” To Heather, a soft glow seemed to have suffused the dim, dusty room. She got to her feet, went to him and slipped her hand in his.
He closed his eyes, as if her touch caused him pain. “Heather...” Her name was a plea.
She mustered all her courage and asked one more time, “Do you think it might be possible that we could build a house here, live here instead of Monterey? North Magdalene is my home, Lucas. I know you have bad memories of your years here, and that the town gossips drive you crazy, but maybe, if you gave it another chance...”
“No.” He pulled free of her grip.
Heather sighed. “All right. I understand.”
“No. I don’t think you do. I’d be willing to give this town another try, if that was really what you wanted. I can write my books anywhere. And Mark thinks this damn place is Heaven on Earth. I could live with moving back here. But having Jason Lee’s memory between us—I can’t live with that. Knowing that you’ll always love him is going to drive me nuts eventually. I think I’ve seen it from the first, but I just didn’t want to admit it.”
“But, Lucas—”
He lifted a hand to silence her protests. “Look. I saw you, the other day, crying over that photograph of him. And I realized then, I think, that I wasn’t going to be willing to settle for less than all of you. You were right to run away today. It just plain isn’t going to work.”
Heather smiled, a tender, knowing smile. “I can see what you mean, really. And it’s true. I will always love Jason Lee.”
Lucas made a low, pained sound. “That about says it all.” He started to turn away.
Heather grabbed his arm again and turned him back to her. “I’m not finished.”
“Damn it, Heather.”
“Listen. I’ve been trying to tell you something since yesterday and you wouldn’t let me. If you’d only listened, you could have saved us both a lot of misery.”
He said nothing, only looked at her, waiting for her to get it over with.
She began, “As I said, I’ll always love Jason Lee. I’ll remember him with...great affection. He was a good man. But he’s gone, Lucas. And sometimes now I can’t see his face in my mind. His face is...blotted out by another face. By your face.”
Beneath her palm, Lucas’s arm went rigid. “What are you saying?”
“That I’m in love with you.”
“Excuse me?”
“I thought I said it clearly. I’m—”
Before she could say it again, Lucas grabbed her, shoved his hands in her hair and brought her face up close to his own. “Don’t say things like that. Ever. Don’t say them unless you mean them.”
“Oh, I mean them. I mean them with all my heart. Lucas, I...admire you.”
He grunted in disbelief.
“Don’t do that,” she said. “Don’t make light of that. I mean it. I admire you. So much. You’re a wonderful man. Some men are born in goodness. And some never have a chance. That’s you, Lucas. You never had a chance. But still, somehow, you fought your way to a good life, so that Mark could have the start you never did. You’re the most courageous man I’ve ever known.
“And you did not take advantage of me that first night we made love. I was a full-grown woman, every bit as responsible for what happened as you were. That night was what we both wanted. I never blamed you for it. When you left, I missed you terribly. I tried to get over you. But I never did. The world was a gray, empty place until my dad made me track you down in Monterey. And it took me a while, it’s true, to understand what I feel for you. But now I do understand. I love you. With all my heart.”
Lucas stared down at her. “Would you say that once more?”
Her smile lit up the shadows. “Yes, I will. If you’ll only stand beside me, let me into your heart.”
“I will stand beside you,” he vowed fervently. “I swear it. And my heart, such as it is, is yours.”
“Then I’ll say it forever. I’ll say it all our lives.”
“Say it right now.”
“I love you, Lucas Drury.”
“Say it again.”
She did, slow and sweetly. Lucas pressed her close, sipped the words from her lips and gave them back in kind.
* * *
A little while later, they walked down the rickety front steps of Oggie’s ramshackle house. Hand in hand, they hobbled through the center of town, Heather leaning heavily on Lucas because of her tender feet.
It was nearly five when they arrived back at Heather’s aunt Regina’s once more. They went directly to the backyard. Though several of the guests had departed, all the family members were still there. And so was Reverend Johnson. Oggie had refused to allow the man to leave.
At the sight of Heather and Lucas, Mark cried out and ran to them, throwing his arms around them both.
“You guys look terrible.”
“We know,” they said in unison.
“But you look...happy.”
“We are,” they said, again with one voice.
“Is everything okay now?” the boy asked.
Heather
and Lucas gazed at each other, then down at Mark. They nodded.
“Er, then if you’ve worked out your...difficulties, do you think we could get started now?” inquired the reverend.
Aunt Regina took her seat at the piano again. The wedding march began.
Dressed in her grandmother’s torn and ragged wedding gown, Sunshine once more walked up the makeshift aisle toward the Shadowmaster, who stood waiting for her in his tattered tux. This time, when she reached his side, she put her hand in his and smiled up into his eyes.
And Lucas Drury learned at last what it meant to be the guy who had everything.
* * * * *
ISBN: 978-1-4592-8819-5
Sunshine and the Shadowmaster
Copyright © 1995 by Christine Rimmer
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