He smiled instead. And her knees immediately weakened.
She wanted to bring up that night in the bar, but she knew he rarely thought about it. He’d made a promise to a stranger without even giving her his name or his communicator details. The matter was as ancient as Old Earth history to him.
Renaei resisted the urge to admire his sculpted form and forced herself to hold his gaze. ‘I need to tell you about the situation on New Sydney.’
His smile was gone now, replaced by intense focus. ‘Alright. Let’s hear it.’
‘The god of water is attempting to destroy me by sending his people to attack mine,’ she informed him and lowered herself into the co-pilot’s seat.
‘Makes sense,’ Lorne said, his leg sliding off the console as he straightened to face her. ‘It’s common knowledge that you physically appear when someone calls your name. He’s taking advantage of this. Doesn’t sound very brotherly to me. You all share a father in the Creator God, don’t you?’
‘The Watine, or Oceania as his followers know him, is…’ Renaei tried to think of a description that had less sting, but couldn’t. ‘He’s a cruel, vicious man eaten alive by his own jealousy.’
Lorne raised his eyebrows. ‘Sounds a lot like a mortal.’
‘Our mother was a mortal,’ she said patiently. ‘But I do not blame her for Oceania’s less-than-desirable traits.’
Renaei had never spoken so openly to a mortal about the Galactic Pantheon before. It should have been overwhelming. But Lorne had accepted everything she’d told him and was already devising ways to deal with the problem.
‘Cruel and vicious, that’s not surprising,’ he said at last. ‘I heard a lot about Oceania during my time at GLEA. He seems to punish his followers a lot more than he rewards them.’
Renaei nodded. ‘Exactly. Some of his people moved into a zone already inhabited by my followers — a stretch of land which borders the ocean. Things became very tense very quickly, especially when Oceania threatened to bring a tsunami to the shore to eradicate my people as well as his own. He said their shrill voices were annoying him.’
‘Why didn’t he kill everyone?’
‘I suggested that he wanted to murder my people simply because he was incapable of swaying them to his side. He has so few followers as it is.’
Lorne’s lips twitched. ‘You attacked his pride. Nice work. I’m assuming you didn’t take human form when you said this.’
‘I am capable of exercising some common sense,’ Renaei assured him, curtailing her laugh. ‘Though you will not agree when I tell you this next part. I offered to meet his followers in person, as a human, to discuss their cooperation or their withdrawal. My brother could not resist the opportunity.’
She felt Lorne brush her mind in his impatience to know more and she waited, waited for him to see how desperately she wanted —
‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,’ Lorne said, stricken.
‘It will save a lot of time if you use your abilities, Lorne. So read my mind. Please.’
He drew a deep, shuddering breath — and then he obeyed her. Renaei mentally stepped aside, allowing him full access. He came in as a glancing strike and retreated the moment he had the information he needed. She tempered her disappointment.
‘So Oceania has offered to give some pretty impressive water-based powers to whoever kills you,’ Lorne stated. ‘Not an unattractive award.’
Renaei sighed heavily. ‘Yes. I’m hoping that when my bodyguards arrive, already gifted with my powers, my brother’s people will think twice about killing me. And perhaps they may be interested in gaining my protection instead. I have a much better reputation than my brother.’
‘I can’t imagine how bad it’ll be once Oceania’s followers start setting off their own tsunamis,’ Lorne muttered, his thrill of foreboding matching the one that raced down her spine. ‘And if the wrong person gets those powers, they might think themselves a god — and they won’t have any of the restraint you guys have built up over the centuries.’
By the Ine, he’s amazing, Renaei reflected. He understood the mission she had given him and he was already translating it in his mind, to better explain it to his people. She’d tried her best to become friends with the Guards of the Goddess but they looked askance at her, never daring to speak to her unless she started a conversation. Lorne was still the only one who gazed directly into her eyes.
‘I’m going to get some sleep before we drop out of leapspace,’ Lorne said and shifted to the edge of his seat, about to rise. He froze when she cupped his face in her hands. ‘Renaei…’
‘I found you, just like I said I would,’ she whispered and showed him her memories of that night.
He blinked. ‘That was you?’
Before he could see her intentions in her thoughts, Renaei moved forward and kissed him, renewing that moment, that perfect memory. But his lips remained sealed. When she leaned back, his gaze was hard and full of betrayal.
‘Yes, fuck you, of course I have a problem with this,’ he said curtly, answering her unspoken question as he stood and retreated to the doorway. ‘I thought you chose me because I was the best man for the job — ’
‘You are!’ she said swiftly.
Lorne scowled. ‘Really, Renaei? It’s not because one night when you were lonely I spoke to you as though we were friends? I wouldn’t have let you kiss me if I’d known who you were! Do you get that? I only kissed you because I thought you were a mortal, like me!’
‘Lorne — ’
‘Stop talking, just stop,’ he pleaded. ‘And look into my mind. Really look.’
She didn’t. He would know that she hadn’t, but she just couldn’t.
‘There is mutual love and respect between us, Lorne,’ she said instead.
‘I don’t love you, not like that!’ he said, his voice throbbing with fury. ‘Adoration from far away isn’t the same thing. I can’t give you what you really deserve.’
‘If this is about the body you once wore — ’
‘It’s not!’ he snapped. ‘Don’t you dare assume that. You want to know what’s wrong with this? Fine. I’ll tell you so you don’t have to go digging around in my head. Sure, I find you attractive, you’d have to be blind not to. But I see you as a follower sees his goddess, not as a man sees his lover. I can’t fill that hole in your heart, I can’t hold you the way you want me to — and even if I tried it wouldn’t be fair to you, because I don’t…I don’t have the feelings you need me to have.’
He turned away from her, his hands braced on the octagonal frame of the cockpit opening. ‘I wish I felt that way about you. But I don’t. I’m sorry.’
His shoulders straightened and he stalked down the corridor without a backwards glance.
Renaei sank further into her seat, startled, baffled — and hurt. She drifted into his mind, trying to avoid detection as he retreated to the safety of his bunk and pulled the sheet over his head.
Surely he hadn’t meant what he’d said. But his thoughts were no different; he’d spoken the truth. He didn’t love her that way — and he believed that she didn’t love him that way either, that she had simply clung to the only mortal she’d ever had a real conversation with.
He’s not wrong, Renaei realised with regret.
She closed her eyes and vanished inside a swirl of rock-studded moss.
CHAPTER FOUR
‘Is Renaei planning a warm welcome for us, Captain?’ Merryn asked. ‘Or is she gonna make us wait?’
‘She’s already down there,’ Lorne answered in a toneless voice.
He had felt Renaei’s presence even before Merryn had begun to guide their ship past rings of debris and down to the surface of the planet below. Renaei had already flashed an apology into Lorne’s mind, one that was short and abrupt, but she was not able to conceal her embarrassment. He almost wished she’d smite him.
Anger he could have understood and dealt with, because she was a goddess. Her apologising and admitting that she had been wrong w
hen he, the mortal, had been right…it unsettled him. She shouldn’t be this human, this vulnerable, this easy to hurt.
‘Good thing we’re not any larger,’ Merryn observed while the ship pulled in its wings to squat on the rocky outcropping like a metallic bird of prey. ‘But check out that view!’
Lorne nodded and made vague noises of agreement, though privately he thought the waves were too blue and too bright beneath New Sydney’s cloudless sky. It looked as though someone had scrubbed the atmosphere until the planet had lost all traces of its unique personality. Another victim of terraforming, no doubt. Lorne directed his gaze to the dunes below and watched a group of people scatter back towards the shore, where they had parked their small sea-bound vessels.
He supposed the starship was the largest thing they’d ever seen drop out of the sky. It probably didn’t help that the ship was packed with more lascannons than was standard for its model.
‘Look at that, we’ve already got Oceania’s followers on the run,’ Merryn noted, squinting through the viewport. ‘Think they’ll fuck off entirely?’
Lorne grimaced. ‘They have a compelling reason to stay.’
‘So they’re not just here for the view then? That’s a shame.’ Merryn flopped back in the pilot’s seat and turned her head towards him. ‘I’ve seen Oceania drown his own followers by filling up their lungs with sea water. Must be a really compelling reason.’
Lorne gave her an even stare.
Merryn smirked. ‘Oh, I get it. This is one of those little secrets between you and the goddess. And you’ve got a compelling reason not to share this one.’
‘Get yourself to the armoury and put your starking gear on,’ Lorne ordered her.
He definitely didn’t imagine the wink she threw at him as she bounded out of the cockpit.
• • •
Renaei ceased pacing the moment the ship landed and clenched her hands behind her back. She had to show him that she was fine. That it didn’t matter. Their working relationship was unaffected. Maybe if she believed this strongly enough then it would become true.
She couldn’t afford to lose Lorne. This would all fall apart without him.
Lorne was the first one down the boarding ramp, flanked by his people — hers, after a fashion. The Guards of the Goddess. His name for them, his idea, and it was his protection and judgement that she was relying on. Renaei remained where she was, regal and unmoving, even as the previously gentle sea breeze whipped itself into a frenzy. With her golden hair swept back behind her like a banner, she was sure she was an impressive sight — her guards’ thoughts confirmed it.
Smiling, Renaei greeted them individually, then stepped back as they all bowed to her. Lorne bent over hastily when she arched an eyebrow at him. He’d been standing there with his arms crossed, stubbornly rigid and upright. Renaei regretted that she had forced the issue because she’d enjoyed the defiance in those deep hazel eyes.
She glanced across the hilly terrain, towards the village populated by mortals who still worshipped her despite their doubt that she could do anything to help them. How could she convince them otherwise? How? Would they think her a fool for being unable to kill those that threatened them? She abhorred the thought of ending anyone’s life, no matter how cruel they were. But she knew Fayay had no such reservations. Not even their shared blood would save her.
Renaei fought the shivers. They threatened to overwhelm her, but then she felt Lorne’s heat at her side and his hand circling her arm, as familiar to her as one of the golden bangles she always wore. Except his touch was softer, more comforting.
Lorne’s voice slid into her thoughts. Don’t show any fear. You are a goddess. They won’t expect fear from you or respect it.
But I am afraid! she snapped.
His laugh in her mind was dark, bitter. Do you think I’ve never been afraid? I was terrified every single day of my childhood because my brothers might go too far and beat me to death. I was afraid when I was an agent of GLEA that I’d run out of luck and get myself killed. And I’m afraid every time a beautiful woman sits next to me, since she might be the one who rejects me just because of the way I was born.
Renaei met his gaze, her breaths quickening when she saw his eyes darken. Their close proximity wasn’t just affecting her.
I am often afraid, Lorne said. I just don’t show it.
I won’t feel afraid so long as I have you to protect me, she decided.
His hand dropped away from her and he took a step back. Good. That confidence in my abilities will help mask your fear.
Shouldn’t you tell me not to have misplaced confidence in those abilities of yours?
She saw the corner of his lips twitch as he replied, You didn’t just choose me because of a long conversation we had one night.
His humour warred with hers until Renaei was uncertain who stopped feeling it first.
She turned on her heel and started down the winding cliff track that cut towards the sliver of grassy land beside the dunes. Renaei’s guards fell in around her as she approached Blashi, a village that looked more like a bunch of misshapen mounds than a home to hundreds. The Blashians had chosen to dig into the earth to create their dwellings, a smart move given the lack of trees in the area and how icy the ocean-born wind could become in the colder months. The same method had been used to build the school, the shelters for the herd animals and the garages that contained amphibious vehicles.
The people living in Blashi had suffered a recent attack which had scoured moss from the rocks that fortified their homes and destroyed their heavy lasgun mounts. Those that were brave enough to come forward and greet the newcomers cradled both weapons and injured limbs, eyes narrowed to slits as though they were expecting another fight.
Pleased to see that no lives had been lost, Renaei beamed at them. ‘I, Renaei, heard you call my name and have come to you in your time of need!’
Despite their surprise and lingering suspicion, more and more of the Blashians began filing out of their homes, their faces slack with relief. But others weren’t so cowed.
‘If you’re Renaei, why do you have bodyguards?’ someone demanded. ‘And why do they carry personal shields? Can’t you shield them yourself?’
‘Yeah!’ another Blashian cried. ‘If you can’t protect your guards, how can you protect us?’
Renaei wavered. She didn’t dare glance back at Lorne, mindful of what it would look like to her people if she deferred to a mortal. She could not let them know how afraid she was. She had to give them a show of strength.
And she would rather die than disappoint Lorne.
Renaei drew a breath.
CHAPTER FIVE
‘Steady, everyone,’ Lorne ordered when he sensed the build up of power inside Renaei.
The Guards of the Goddess braced themselves and softened their stances. The Blashians weren’t so prepared.
Beneath their feet the ground writhed. Rocks danced and bounced, finding new positions and gouging tracks into the grass. The villagers fell to their knees, though not because they had lost their balance. When the tumult finally died, they all had their heads bowed and were whispering praises that Renaei accepted with a smile before pleading her people to stand up again.
Lorne tensed, suddenly aware of nearby minds that weren’t full of respect and awe — there, a handful of Oceania worshippers creeping in from the shore, weapons at the ready. Warning everyone would take too long.
He spun towards the attackers, hoping to face them before they fired, and threw up his hands. The abilities Renaei had given Lorne didn’t require accompanying gestures, but as a Chipper he had always needed to use them to focus his power output. Old habits died hard. And so did he.
The lasbolts struck. His telekinetic shield easily deflected them, causing the energy beams to slam into a nearby earthen wall instead of flesh.
‘Merryn,’ Lorne said calmly. ‘Can you deal with our uninvited guests, please?’
His Second nodded once and began advancing, fl
anked by six of his guards. Their personal shields hummed into life, forming faint orange spheres around each member. Unbothered by the lasbolts flying at their faces, they created tracts of slippery red lichen to encircle those who tried to flee, tripping them into undignified sprawls. The ground then swallowed the attackers’ arms long enough for the Guards of the Goddess to confiscate their weapons.
Lorne stowed his proud grin. He’d congratulate them later.
‘As you can see,’ Renaei said, her voice cutting through the silence, ‘my guards are quite capable of defending you with the powers I have granted them.’
A woman with a curved back shuffled forward, supporting herself on a staff. She looked over a century old but the hand she used to gesture at Lorne and the other guards remained steady. ‘You need bodyguards now, do you, Renaei? It must be true, that even the gods can die.’
Renaei inclined her head towards the woman. ‘Yes, it’s true, Silvia. It’s also true that I could kill you all in a heartbeat. But I won’t. Because you have my love and protection. Forever.’
‘I once called your name as a child, when a great storm came,’ Silvia mused, her dark eyes distant. ‘I lived with my parents in a house on stilts. The floor fell away and I went with it, but you caught me and took me back to my parents.’
‘I always help those who call my name,’ Renaei said firmly.
Silvia laughed. ‘Perhaps you saved my life because you knew that one day I would become an elder with sway here on New Sydney. Just the sort of person you need on your side.’
‘It would certainly suit my purposes if you believed I had such foresight.’ Renaei’s answering smile faded. ‘Gather your people in your meeting space. I must speak to all of you.’
‘And the Driftwood?’ Silvia asked, indicating the shore with the tip of her staff.
Lorne figured she must be referring to Oceania’s followers.
‘I’ll need to speak to them as well,’ Renaei said, her green eyes narrow. ‘I will release those who attacked us just now so that they can arrange their own meeting for me.’
The Galactic Pantheon Novellas Page 21
