by Martha Carr
“Start with this,” said Ruth, pulling a tall, thin hard-back book off of a shelf and handing it to Wallis. “Hello, Stanley. I didn’t see you come in. Finding everything?”
Stanley startled, the book in his hands momentarily shaking. “Yes, Ruth, I’m fine. I know my way around.”
“You okay Stanley? You’re not normally the nervous type.” said Ruth, all of the r’s rolling. She didn’t wait for an answer and was turning the corner before her sentence was finished.
Stanley glanced up at Wallis, quickly looking back down at the book cradled open in his hands. “Thanks for coming. Wasn’t sure you would.”
Wallis reached into her pocket and pulled out the list of names she’d been keeping close since she found it.
“You left this behind in my driveway.”
“Oh, thank goodness,” said Stanley in a breathy whisper, reaching out for the paper, momentary relief crossing his face. “I couldn’t find it. I was worried someone might have taken it.”
Wallis moved the paper just out of his reach. Stanley pulled his hand back, looking hurt.
“First we talk,” said Wallis. “I know some of these boys on this list, know their families. Why does a list of names of nine and ten year old boys have you so frightened?”
“Because people are willing to kill to get that list.” Stanley looked ready to cry. “Ray died trying to figure out what it all meant. He was my best friend since childhood.” Stanley’s lip quivered, the last words coming out in starts and stops. “You know Richmond, not too many of us leave. Moving to Hanover, the next county over, is moving away for these parts.”
“Are you saying he didn’t know? What made him even care?” Wallis felt a wave of anger go through her.
“I had almost the same reaction.” Stanley gave a half-smile, his face relaxing for a moment into deep lines. “Does everything have to be our business? That’s what I said to Ray. We had good lives going for us. Families, jobs, church, running. It was a nice list.” A long sigh escaped Stanley. “It pissed me off, Ray messing with all of that.” Stanley brushed the tears off of his face with the back of his hand. “Sorry ‘bout that. Not usually much of a crier. Haven’t slept much in awhile.” He let out a small snort.
“What made him care, Stanley?” Wallis leaned in, whispering to Stanley, her hand firmly on his arm. Stanley looked down at her hand and sighed again.
“Makes me wonder if this is the way it gets played out all the time. Each new person that gets pulled in. First you’re surprised and a little scared, then mad as hell, then frustrated. I’ll let you know now, it’s a cycle. This is pretty much it, except each stage gets a little more intense.” He pulled his arm away from her grip. “Okay, okay, I know I’m rambling. So what. Blast! You know, I didn’t want to know any of this either!” He threw the book into an old red velvet wingback chair set up in the corner for customers to pause, get absorbed in an expensive travel book.
Stanley started pacing in the small space, his hands laced together, pressing down on the top of his head.
“Ray came to me with these lists. This pile of papers that had charts of all of these boys. Some of the boys were from good families, a lot of them we knew, and said there was a problem. One of the boys on the list, Jimmy McDonough, his mother was complaining to anyone who would listen that her son was getting the short shrift.”
“Jimmy McDonough? I know that name,” said Wallis.
“Yeah, you would. He’s the kid that took a neighbor’s car for a drunken joy ride through the front doors of Midlothian High school. Remember? Right at the beginning of the year. Left it parked right inside the door. His parents paid the damages and got him community service. You’d think the woman would be grateful and be quiet, but Kristen was so mad.”
“At what?”
“She said she was promised Jimmy would be taken care of. He’d get into a decent college, get a good job, have a career and now it was all gone. Jimmy’s last stunt had sealed it.”
“Promised by whom? You’re still not telling me anything, Stanley. Do you not know anything?”
“You don’t read the paper all the time, do you?” He shrugged. “Yeah, I figured. That’s the way it is. Gossip on one side of the James River doesn’t really travel to the other. Got to watch the news, read the paper.”
“I’m going to go,” said Wallis, looking at her watch. “When you get your thoughts together call me at the office,” she said sternly. “I don’t have this much time to throw away.”
“There aren’t any more McDonoughs.” Stanley blurted it out. “All dead, killed in a freak accident crushed between two large semis. Happened just after St. Patrick’s Day.”
“Are you trying to be funny, Stanley? Because it’s not really working for you,” said Wallis, spitting out the words.
“The driver of the second semi said he had reached down to change the stations on the radio and didn’t realize the semi in front was slowing down. The paper said you couldn’t even tell there was a minivan in there somewhere until they pulled the two trucks apart. Nothing left, no survivors. No more McDonoughs.”
“And that’s part of a plan? That’s an awfully elaborate plan for the suburbs. You’re making no sense.” Wallis did remember the news story on the television and remembered switching the television off when they started talking about the family. Too much misery that had nothing to do with her.
“Just before that so called accident Kristen cornered Ray, told him what she knew. They worked together at the utilities department, down in the city. Better pay there and great benefits. I gotta sit down.”
Stanley sunk into the old chair that still clung to some of its lost elegance and picked up the book on Paris, letting it rest in his lap. He pulled a starched white handkerchief out of his back pocket and wiped his face and neck. For a moment it made Wallis think of her dad, of Walter, trying to unwind after a week on the road selling brocade and seersucker further south. Seersucker had always been big further south.
“Stanley,” she said more softly, “I can see that you’re upset and because of Ray it’s understandable, but you have five minutes to pull some of this together or I’m out of here and we don’t speak again, on any topic, ever.” Wallis saw the small shake in her hands.
“She claimed she’d been recruited,” he said, waving his hands around, raising his voice for a moment, before taking a deep breath. “She said she was invited into this group but Ray called it recruited. Kristen had gone to a tea in her neighborhood that was supposed to be a kind of welcoming party for a new neighbor, Faye something. This was all years ago when Jimmy was still in elementary school, but he was having problems even then. Not drinking, not yet, but he wasn’t exactly doing well in school. Kristen had to miss a lot of work to meet with the school or specialists trying to do something about Jimmy. She was a little desperate. She went to this tea and they all started talking about their kids and of course, Kristen started complaining about Jimmy, saying she wasn’t sure what she was going to do. Someone told her about a therapist who was supposed to work wonders and gave her a name and number. You know how parents are always a little desperate when it comes to their kids.”
“I’ve seen it a few times in my profession,” said Wallis.
“Yeah, right,” said Stanley, snorting again. “Black widow, I forgot. Sorry, no offense.” Stanley shifted uneasily in the chair, the sharp lines of his arms and legs moving around, trying to find a comfortable position.
“Keep going, Stanley.”
“Kristen said the therapist offered her a plan. A kind of civil service plan. The way she explained it was the therapist had given Jimmy a lot of tests and interviewed the entire family and said Jimmy had a lot of untapped potential. Boy, don’t you know Kristen bit at that one.” Stanley’s voice came out in a whine. “She said there was an opportunity for Jimmy, a long-term opportunity, but it was a little unusual. Kristen claimed it was a secret society, you know, like the Masons, to help young men and women from good families who were
n’t getting what they needed. But they had a few conditions.”
“Like what?” said Wallis, feeling her stomach sour.
“Like keeping it secret, for starters. And sticking with the plan they laid out, no veering, no grilling. They apparently never actually said making a public nuisance of yourself was grounds for dismissal, and maybe it wouldn’t have been if Jimmy hadn’t managed to make the newspapers.”
“Who exactly are they?”
“I’m not sure I know that.”
“How can you be sure your friend didn’t kill himself? How can you be sure this isn’t all paranoia on his part? How can you be sure he didn’t draw up this list?”
“For one thing, Ray was afraid of guns. He had been all his life. His uncle used to take the two of us out hunting when we were small boys. He said it was to toughen us up. But all it did to Ray was turn him against guns of any kind, forever. That’s unusual for most men who grew up around here. Not everybody would realize that unless they really knew Ray, like me.” Tears ran down in slow streaks across Stanley’s cheeks, pooling in the corners of his mouth. “And I was with Ray when he first looked at the list.”
Wallis felt it, knew it was the tipping point over onto the other side. The moment she knew what he was saying was true and even if she walked away and refused to do anything about any of it, she’d carry the weight of the secrets.
“Do you know who killed Ray Billings?” Wallis’ body shuddered. I don’t really want to know, she thought. Then I’ll have to do something about it. I can still stop and walk away.
“No, not really. But I know they’re there. They leave nasty little messages everywhere to let me know.”
“Know what?”
“That I could end up like Ray.” Stanley was shaking. He put one hand over the other against his belly, pushing hard enough to make the knuckles white. “I sound crazy, don’t I?”
“A little.” Wallis watched Stanley slowly creeping toward a breakdown, struggling to hold it off for as long as possible. Wallis had seen this before. Mothers or fathers on the stand who knew the person they had pledged their life to, created a household, children, an entire life with, had turned out to be a monster. The betrayal was laid bare, but too late, the children were harmed. Desperation would come over their faces as they realized strangers would decide the fate of their children. They were helpless and were realizing that what came next depended on who told the most convincing story to the judge, a stranger, and not whether it was the truth or a lie.
Clients were forever asking Wallis for reassurance, insisting the judge had to at least follow the rules.
“Not really,” Wallis would reply casually. Better they get used to being treated this way. All that awaited them was indifference. Wallis had seen too many cases with too many people dripping with venom and emotion. Often the clerks looked sleepy. “He can do what he wants to do. In family court the laws end up being guidelines,” she would say.
A controlled look of horror was a common response, thought Wallis, and appropriate. Better they understand and let go of any ideas of fair play. He who played the game well always won.
Maybe it was the same here, thought Wallis.
“What are you really afraid of Stanley?”
“Not knowing anything. Who they are, what they’re really doing and when they might decide I’m too much trouble.” He grasped his hands tightly to his chest, letting the book slide out of his lap to the ground.
She knew if she pushed him there was a good chance he was going over. She took a deep breath and made herself relax. Courtroom mode.
“Are all of these names on here recruits? I only know some of them.”
“I don’t know,” said Stanley, shaking his head. “Ray mentioned something about all of those other names. He said they were an answer of some sort to an old problem, hiding in plain sight, but he didn’t get to tell me more before they...” His voice trailed off as his chin sunk into his chest.
“Stanley, look at me. What kind of messages are these people leaving?”
“They broke Alice’s windshield. Left the crowbar behind. I think someone’s been in my house, gone through all of my things.” His voice trailed off.
“Stanley? Stanley, look up. Look at me. You seem to want help, but you’re making it harder for me. Who’s Alice? Why did someone break her windshield? How do you know it wasn’t just stupid kids? How do you know all of this is connected to anything?” Wallis was talking too fast, trying to argue a different outcome.
“Alice works in the Utility Department too, or at least she did.”
Wallis remembered Lilly’s description of Ray’s meeting with the woman.
“She left me some crazy message last night,” said Stanley, “saying she was leaving town and starting over and not to call her. Man, she practically screamed that part. She worked in the accounting department and was helping Ray with the paper trail. You know, follow the money.”
“They found a trail? Connect some of these dots, Stanley.”
“I’m doing the best I can here. Look, my main purpose is to honor what Ray told me to do. After I’ve done that, I’m out of it. I’ve had enough,” he said, waving his arms like an umpire signaling the runner was out. He was quietly crying. “I have things to live for and bottom line, I don’t give a damn what’s going on around me. Not anymore. Perfectly happy to go back to being ignorant.”
“So, why not do that now?”
Stanley looked up at Wallis. “Because Ray mattered that much to me,” he whispered. “Because he deserved better than this and because as much as I’d like to ditch all of this and go back to what’s left of my life, I get the uneasy feeling the sons of bitches aren’t going to let me.”
Stanley pulled out a file that had been hidden under the chair and held it out to Wallis.
“How did you get this in the first place?” she asked.
“It was off of a thumb drive Kristen gave to Ray. She stole it from her Watcher. At first we thought it was just music downloaded off the net. That’s what it looked like. But Ray was good with computers, it was his thing. He knew how to find the files, said people did it all the time. Hid files in with the audio tracks.”
“Do you have the drive?”
Stanley pulled out the little race car thumb drive with the small ‘3’ on the side. He looked relieved to let go of the burden.
She looked at Stanley. “Were these lists the only files you found?”
“As far as I know. I wasn’t too eager to learn everything.”
Wallis took the file reluctantly and flipped it open. Inside were more of the same flow charts broken down into categories with groups of ten boys per column. Each group was separated by two years in age with a short series of numbers under each name in different three number combinations. Other pages had a list for each boy of accomplishments and goals still to be met. It was a careful, orderly mapped out plan to ensure success in life.
“Everybody should have one of these, Stanley,” said Wallis, turning over pages. “This isn’t a plot. This is an old boy network. Clubby, snobby maybe, but not diabolical. Of course they knocked Jimmy McDonough out of this club. His career path was to become an even better alcoholic.”
“Yeah, well there’s a pretty nasty catch,” said Stanley, his head sinking toward his chest. “There’s no out clause. Once you’re in, you’re in for life. That’s what Kristen had been screaming about. That’s why she had been desperate and gone to Ray. The dumb bitch was so desperate about Jimmy she talked herself into believing it would all be alright, until it wasn’t.”
“No out clause.”
“Well, unless you consider death a way out. That’s it, that’s what I’m saying. You can’t sign up for the program one year and then decide you’ve had enough the next. Once in, you’re in forever. No alternative career plans, no dropping out and becoming some lame artist or joining the Peace Corps. They tell you what you’ll be, where you’ll live and occasionally, what you’ll do for them. It’s a very o
rderly system, alright.”
“They were planning to kill Jimmy McDonough?”
“They were planning to give him very limited career options. To contain him and keep him from becoming a problem. Sales in some dead-end company had been mentioned as an option. Jimmy wouldn’t have amounted to more than middle class, but maybe that was higher than he would have made it on his own, anyway. Death was the other alternative, and the one that won out. You see, until the very end, Kristen still believed in her young Jimmy and was unwilling to let them suddenly limit what he might become. She wasn’t having any of their ideas and kept pleading with the Watchers to come up with some other way. She told Ray that Jimmy was young and could sober up, but the Watcher had said they’d been doing this for a long time and knew the outcome. There was no place to go for an appeal.”
“Who is it that cares so much what happens to a bunch of boys? The Watchers? What’s a Watcher?” The more Wallis learned the less she felt she knew and the more she knew she would have to find out.
“That’s what I don’t know. I told you, I tried not to ask too many questions. I don’t know, maybe I should have. Ray said he’d found something out and we had plans to meet the next morning when he turned up dead. They must have found out. I tried going through his things but there was nothing left but the thumb drive. Somebody had beaten me to it. I wouldn’t have that if he hadn’t told me where to look, just… just in case. I’m surprised they didn’t find it.”
“So why me?”
“That was one of the last things he told me on the phone. To find you if something happened. You and only you because as much as he was sorry you were Lilly’s lawyer he admired what you could do, but that was only part of it. Ray said you knew someone they were trying to recruit. He’d found the name on a list and saw you with her. He thought you might have a chance to find out what was going on. That and you’re from here too. You have the right kind of roots. People might trust you enough to talk.” Stanley was talking faster, getting lost in the knots of what had happened to him.
