“Miriam is okay, but it’s going to take a while for her to recover. Some broken ribs and her jaw was fractured. Not to mention all the lacerations and bruises…and burns.” She rubbed her shoulder. “Thomas—I don’t really know. He was conscious, but his father—his real father—showed up. I didn’t want to push for information when they have no idea who I am. Do you think he’ll recover?”
“He should. Although I wouldn’t wish the dreams he’ll probably have on anyone. It’ll take some time.”
“That’s good. That he’ll get better. Kind of makes all of this feel like it had a purpose. Any word on Mateo?”
“Caleb helped Walker and Kevin search some of the property we’ve been able to connect to Thomas, but no luck so far.”
“Do you think they’ll find him?”
“If he can be found, they’ll find him.” Not likely, but I could tell by the way she rubbed her arms that she already knew that. “Are you okay?”
She shrugged and turned to look out the window. “Are you?”
Not in the mood for talking? That was fine—neither was I. I clicked on the radio and turned up the volume so the music and inane chatter filled the air and drowned out my thoughts. But the worries persisted.
“I don’t think Franklin will try to force me to work with the Venators again,” Ava said, as if reading my thoughts. “I mean, the only way his plan would have worked is if I thought Hugh had gotten through on his own, or with Miriam’s unwitting help when Hugh got into her head.”
“True enough. And the Venators, even the cold-hearted bastards most of us are, will shun him for this.” I cleared my throat. “Word will get around. I made sure of that.”
“What will happen to your cell?”
“I was due for my own, after exorcising Thomas. Guess I’ll just take this one.” The satisfaction at getting my own command felt hollow. Not only had Franklin betrayed me, but a victory without Ava at my side felt like no victory at all.
“I wonder if that necklace is really out there. Somewhere.”
I wondered that, too. Especially since Hugh and Thomas had been so keen on finding it. Was it possible that it existed? Of course, that might have been a ruse. Who knew why they might really want Ava? I could think of half a dozen reasons that had nothing to do with the necklace.
If Franklin hadn’t betrayed us, I would have guessed that the demons actually believed the necklace to be somewhere in Chicago, but it was hard to say now. They might have only acted open to the idea that it was in the freight tunnels because they knew that the trap waited there. Because Franklin had already contacted Hugh. Who knew if the demons actually would have followed Ava down there otherwise?
“I’m not sure,” I said finally. “But it’s something the demons seemed to believe in. Could be that it does exist.”
“I hope it’s buried somewhere deep, then. If they ever found it…” She shook her head.
“They haven’t found it in millennia. If the legend is true, then the Venators will be there to stop them from ever getting their hands on it.”
I parked near the entrance to her apartment building, taking a spot clearly marked “No Parking.” Silence overtook the car when I cut the engine, and Ava turned to look at the building in front of us, blinking at it as if she’d never seen it before.
“Let’s go,” I said, wishing I could pull her into a hug right then and there. She looked so vulnerable, so rundown. Like her world had just collapsed.
Which, of course, it had. Hell, I probably looked as bad as she did—a few fitful hours of forced sleep was nothing after performing an exorcism spell.
When we left the car, she hesitated, hand resting on the vehicle while her eyes searched the lot for monsters. I walked around the car and touched her shoulder, then backed off and let her lead. The building was still protected by my blood, so they would be safe for another day or two at least before the wards needed to be renewed. Besides, the demons who knew of the place, who knew of Ava and me, had been banished.
I still wanted her to move. Just in case.
She unlocked the door to her apartment with shaking hands, waving away my offer of help.
“You want something to drink?” she asked as I locked the door behind us.
“Go take a shower. I’m fine. I can find my own Cherry Coke.” I smiled at her to soften the order, and she gave me a halfhearted grin before disappearing down the hallway.
I double-checked the blinds in the living room and the bedroom, and then shoved a dining room chair under the front door handle. Sure, no one was hunting us, but it made me feel better. More important, it would make Ava feel safer.
I heard the shower kick on as I grabbed a can from the refrigerator, and images of her standing in all that steam, hot water running down her sleek body, formed in my mind.
“Shit,” I muttered and flipped on the television.
The desire to ask her to stay by my side was almost overwhelming. She’d shown that she could handle some serious Venator shit, but that was the problem. Who would want to be involved in that kind of life after seeing the gut-wrenching bowels of my world?
Ava reappeared a few minutes later, hair still damp from the shower, wearing a soft cotton camisole that hid nothing of her frame, and matching shorts that offered me an excellent view of her long legs.
I stifled the groan that formed in my throat at the sight of her, and I did what I could to keep from raking my gaze across her body. This wasn’t the time. She was still in shock, still recovering from what had happened. Besides, I couldn’t offer her anything but a life filled with hunting and fear. And if I made love to her again, I might never be able to let her go.
Made love. Hell. For once in my life that was the right term for it. Sex wasn’t just sex with Ava. And it never would be again.
I loved her.
“I put a towel on the counter for you, and I’ll grab you a blanket. I hope you don’t mind the couch?” Her eyes met mine and she licked her lips nervously.
Fuck. I damn well minded the couch. “Couch is fine. Thanks.”
“But you were hurt—”
“I’m fine. Really,” I insisted.
She crossed her arms and frowned at me, but I kept my expression firm. Finally, she nodded and disappeared into the kitchen. I ignored my protesting body and headed for the shower.
I scrubbed myself clean, pushing the memories of her body from my mind, trying to wipe them away with the washcloth, but even that betrayed me. All I could see when I used it was Ava’s body on the couch as I had drawn protective symbols on her back with the charcoal. And that reminded me of our time together. The most wonderful days of my life. Her body, so willing and ready beneath mine. Her sighs of ecstasy. Her shudders of pleasure, gasping my name.
Fuck.
I finished the shower more frustrated than refreshed, and then went to the ugly but comfortable couch. A blanket and pillow were laid out for me.
“So what’s going to happen tomorrow, exactly?” Arms crossed, and a serious expression on her face, Ava showed no sign of the innocent, happy girl I’d met in the hospital. Dammit. She’d changed, even if she didn’t realize it yet.
I just hoped she hadn’t changed too much.
“We’ll figure that out tomorrow. You should be safe now with Thomas and Hugh banished. Any of their leftover human servants will no longer be tied to them by blood, which should make them scatter.” But it would probably be better if she did leave town, until I could make sure none of the demons’ humans would attempt some sort of misguided vengeance. And if she were here, I might not be able to resist seeing her. “Although, it might be best if you do for a few months. Just in case. Only until I make sure the leftover humans are gone.”
Her foot tapped the carpet, silent but hypnotic all the same. She wasn’t happy about the situation, and I could hardly blame her. From her point of view, I’d used her. A short affair that could never be anything else. But she’d known that going in.
“So, worst-case scen
ario, I go live in one of your…”
“Cells,” I provided.
“Okay, one of your cells.” Her arms uncrossed and she ticked off her questions by touching her index finger to the fingers of her other hand as she went down her mental list. “Then what? How long do I live there? Should I get a new apartment? What’s going to happen to Miriam? She’s going to need some kind of protection, too.”
“I get it.”
“Do you? Are you sure I don’t need to keep going with this?”
“No. I mean yes. I mean—” I cleared my throat and glanced at her now-closed curtains, suddenly wishing I could see the night beyond their plain beige cover. I glanced at her reddening face before looking away again. “What do you want to do?”
She laughed, a short and bitter sound that was so unlike her that it drew my gaze back to her. Her eyes were bright and her jaw tense. “Does that matter?”
I flinched and looked down at my hands. Like a goddamned spineless wimp.
“You know what I want, Karson. I want you.” Her voice broke, and she drew in a long breath, then let it out slowly. “I can help your cause, I really can. I’m not afraid anymore. Scratch that—I’m scared as hell of demons. But I’m more afraid of going back to my purposeless life than I am of them. And way more afraid of losing you than I am of using my abilities.”
I looked up at her, words refusing to form in my mind or in my mouth.
“I realized something today. It’s not my powers that I should have been afraid of—because they are what they are. If I’d used them that night at Miriam’s, I might have seen a vision of her being kidnapped. I’m certain to my core that we could have prevented that if I hadn’t been such a chicken shit.”
I started to speak, but she waved me off. “And if I hadn’t gotten that vision from touching Hugh,” she continued, “I never would have known to stop Miriam when I saw her heading for the salt line. I would have dismissed her movements until it was too late. We never would have found out that Franklin was working with Hugh. Their plan would have worked.”
“For the demons, maybe,” I said. “No way Hugh would have let Franklin leave there with you. Of course, knowing Franklin, he had a plan in mind for that, too.” Fucking Franklin. I was glad that Ava had stopped me from killing him, but a small part of me—the part fueled by demon blood—still wanted to crush his windpipe with my bare hands.
“Either way, it would have sucked.” She sighed. “You know, when you first told me about the tattoos blocking my power from working on you, I got super excited. I thought, damn, maybe this is my way out. Maybe this is how I get rid of this stupid curse. But it isn’t a curse, Karson. It’s a gift that’s meant to be used.” She hesitated, and for a moment I thought she was going to continue, but instead she shook her head. “Good night, Karson.”
“’Night,” I managed, mind still reeling.
The idea of Ava at my side—working with me to bring down demons—was heady stuff. Fear still clutched my chest at the thought of her working so close to the creatures, but it wasn’t oppressive. If I handled things smart—with my head driving me, not my need for revenge—then she would be as safe as she was ever likely to be in this world. Because no matter how she tried to blend in, she wasn’t a normal woman. And now that she knew about demons, had experienced the things she had the last few days, she was even more removed from the rest of the so-called normal world.
My mind wrestled with her words, my hopes. Questions. Was inviting her to stay with the Venators, begging her to stay by my side, for her benefit? Or was I just seeing things how I wanted to see them, simply because the idea of letting her go made me feel like something was being ripped from my chest?
Certain I wouldn’t be able to sleep with her so close, yet too far away to touch, I was confused when the mumbling roused me. Small sounds, but I always slept on the edge of waking. I rubbed my eyes and sat up from the couch. The sounds were coming from her room.
I stalked silently down the hall, intent on telling Ava that she should have let Miriam sleep through the night instead of calling her and waking her, but paused at her open door. She wasn’t on the phone. She was talking in her sleep. A slick sheen of sweat covered her skin, and her head tossed back and forth. Although her words were indistinct, her distress was obvious.
I sat on the bed next to her and touched her shoulder. Her eyes flew open and she gasped.
“Shhhh…it’s just a dream, beautiful. Just a dream.”
“Karson?” She blinked, tears threatening to spill over her eyelids, and she glanced around the room.
“It’s me. Don’t worry, you’re safe.”
“Did I wake you? I’m sorry. I just—” Her voice broke and she crossed her arms, running her hands up and down her skin as if she were cold.
I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close, unable to help myself. She just looked so damn scared and alone. She stiffened in my embrace before a long sigh escaped her and she relaxed.
So soft in my arms, she stayed there for nearly a minute before wiggling free. I let go, thinking she needed space, and then felt her hands on my shoulders. I couldn’t make out her expression in the darkness, but her upturned face was clearly outlined against the lighter shadows behind her.
Carefully, I lowered my mouth to hers, touching her lips ever so gently, hoping desperately that I wasn’t misinterpreting her signal. Part of my mind insisted that I leave right now. Before things progressed. But the rest of me wanted to stay—had to stay—if only to make love to her one more time.
Her lips were warm against mine—wet, like she’d just run her tongue over them. She didn’t pull away, but I kept my lips soft on hers, testing. Mint and lavender spiced the air, filling my nose and mouth, surrounding me with her. I rubbed my tongue against hers, tasting her, then I deepened the kiss.
A small sigh escaped her when I pulled back to look at her. I wanted to see her so badly, in more detail than my enhanced night vision offered. But I didn’t dare turn on the lights and ruin the moment. This was wrong. And it would only make things harder for us in the morning. But I couldn’t not touch her, not kiss her, not show her how much I loved her with my body, since I couldn’t say it with my lips. Silk slid between my fingers as I ran my hands over her hair, pushing it behind her ear.
Fuck it. Why couldn’t I say it? Just once.
“I love you, Ava,” I murmured.
I could feel her smile, her mouth only a hairsbreadth away from mine. “I love you, too.”
My heart thundered in my chest, threatening to burst out at her words. Her hands snaked behind me, urging me closer, and I kissed her again. Unable to hold back, I slid my tongue between her lips and pulled her against me, cradling her against my chest. She kissed me back, and pressed her body into mine. I could feel the softness of her breasts against me, and I hardened painfully in my jeans.
“I wish you could see yourself the way I see you,” she said.
Something had changed in me in that tunnel. Something real, even if it was just in my perception. I was a demon hunter, not a murderer. I wasn’t sure about the path I might have ended up on without Ava, but I knew the path I was firmly on now.
A path that would be empty without her. Without my savage little demon hunter. Ava was an adult, and a woman who had seen the worst side of the life I led. If she wanted to follow the path with me, who was I to stop her?
“Maybe I can.”
She whispered my name again, and I growled and pulled her even closer. Realization hit me.
I was never going to be able to let her go.
Epilogue
The sun shone brightly, making the day almost too warm for the guests, let alone the robe-adorned graduates, who were lined up in imperfect formation to receive their diplomas. I watched carefully for Miriam, and when my friend’s name was called, I screamed and cheered and made a general spectacle of myself. And when people craned their necks to see who was making such a racket, it didn’t bother me one bit.
I
t didn’t seem to bother Karson, either.
My Venator stood by my side and cheered along with me, if with a bit less gusto. And when Miriam trotted over to meet us after quickly greeting her mother and the family members who’d been dragged to the long day by her mother, I was practically vibrating with excitement.
The bruises and bandages still covering much of Miriam’s face and arms dampened my enjoyment a bit, but Miriam’s bright smile brought it back.
“Oh my God, Ava. I think they heard you in Iowa.” Miriam gave Karson a tight smile and a nod. “Thanks for the cheers. Made me feel like a rock star.”
“You’re practically a doctor. Much cooler than a rock star,” I said. Then in a lower voice, I asked, “How are you feeling?”
Miriam touched the bandage stretching down from her temple to her jaw self-consciously. “I’m fine,” she said, but her enthusiasm seemed a little forced. “Really. I’m getting lots of extra attention from my teachers. For being so brave to attend today, less than a week after such a terrible car accident.”
If a ghost of something worse than bruises passed behind Miriam’s eyes as she smiled for my sake, I wasn’t about to call her on it. We all had scars, far worse than the ones carried on our skin, and Miriam had to deal with hers in her own way. And when she was ready, I would be there to help.
“So you guys aren’t going to believe this, but my mom is throwing yet another party today for my graduation. Just a small thing. Basically us and you guys and a couple of my aunts and uncles. You in?”
I didn’t have to glance at Karson, but I did, and the warm smile on his face revealed his vote. “Sounds like fun.”
“All right. Well, let’s do some pictures. My mom is getting antsy.”
“Miriam, wait—”
Miriam stopped in her tracks and turned back around. “What?”
I pulled her into a hug, conscious of our skin-to-skin contact. For once, it wasn’t me who stiffened at the contact—it was Miriam. But after a moment’s hesitation, my friend melted into the hug, too.
No vision assailed me. And for once, I didn’t dread the idea that one might.
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