by TJ Klune
I said, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”
He put his hand over my mouth. My eyes felt like they were bulging.
“You have to mean it,” he said quietly. “You have to be sure.”
I didn’t understand. Mark was my friend, and I—
“Gordo,” he said, eyes still alight. “There’s—I can’t—”
He stood before I could blink. I fell back on my ass.
Then he was gone.
THOMAS FOUND me later. The sky above was streaked orange and pink and red.
He sat beside me.
He said, “I was seventeen when I met a girl who took my breath away.” He was smiling, staring off into the trees.
I waited.
He said, “There was… there wasn’t anything like her. She….” He chuckled as he shook his head. “I knew then. Elizabeth disliked me on sight, and Dad said I needed to respect that. Because women needed to be respected. Always. Regardless of what I thought, I could never force her into anything she didn’t want. And I knew that, of course. Because to even think otherwise was terrible. So I became her friend. Until one day, she smiled at me and I—it was everything. I’d never seen anyone smile at me like that before. She was my….”
“Mate,” I said.
Thomas shrugged. “I never really liked that word. It doesn’t encompass all that she is. She is the best part of me, Gordo. She loves me for who I am. She’s fierce and sharp and doesn’t let me get away with anything. She holds me up. She points out my faults. And honestly, if the world was fair, she would be the next Alpha and not me. She’d be better at it. Better than my father. Better than anyone. I’m very lucky to have her. The day I gave her my stone wolf was the most nerve-racking day of my life.”
“Because you thought she’d say no?”
“Because I thought she’d say yes,” he corrected gently. “And if she did, it would mean that I was going to have someone at my side for the rest of my days. I didn’t know if I deserved that. And Mark feels the same way. He’s been waiting for this moment for a long time. He’s… scared.”
I blinked. “Of what? What does that have to do with you and Elizabeth—”
It hit hard.
I said, “Wait.”
I said, “Hold up.”
I said, “Are you saying what I think you’re—”
I said, “What.”
I IGNORED Mark for three days.
Dead animals appeared on the front porch.
Elizabeth laughed at me, swaying with Carter in her arms.
“WHY DIDN’T you tell me?” I shouted at him.
“You’re thirteen,” he growled at me. “I’m three years older than you. It’s illegal.”
“That’s—okay, that’s actually a pretty good argument.”
He looked smug.
I narrowed my eyes at him.
He looked less smug.
“I’m not a child.”
“That’s probably not the best rebuttal since yes, you are.”
“Fine,” I said. “Then maybe I’ll just go kiss someone else.”
He growled.
“I NEED to find someone to kiss,” I demanded.
Rico and Tanner and Chris stared at me with wide eyes.
“Not it,” Tanner said.
“Not it,” Chris said.
“Not—goddammit.” Rico sighed. “I never say it fast enough. Fine. You know what? I don’t even care. Pucker up, lover boy.”
I stared at Rico in horror as he started walking toward me, arms outstretched.
“Not you.”
“Wow. Racist much? Puto.”
“I’m not racist—you’re my—god, I hate this so fucking much!”
“Mark?” Tanner asked sympathetically.
“Mark,” Chris agreed.
“If I was white, I bet you would have kissed me,” Rico said.
I grabbed him by the face and pressed my lips against his.
Tanner and Chris made matching sounds of extraordinary disgust.
I pulled away from Rico with a wet smack.
He looked dazed.
I felt better.
I TOLD Mark.
He shifted, clothes tearing as he fled into the woods.
“You’re kind of a dick, Gordo,” Abel said mildly. “When you’re old enough, know that I approve wholeheartedly.”
I WAS on front-desk duty when a young woman came into the shop.
She smiled at me.
She was pretty. Her hair was black as night and her eyes as green as the forest. She wore jeans and a low-cut blouse. She looked barely older than Mark.
The guys in the garage whistled.
Marty told them to shut the hell up, though his eyes lingered appreciatively too.
“Hello,” she said.
“Can I help you?” I asked, nervous for reasons I didn’t understand.
“I hope so,” she said. “My car’s making a funny noise. Just drove it across the country. Trying to get to Portland for school, but I don’t know if I’m going to make it.”
I nodded. “We can probably get you in quick enough.” I clicked on the old computer in front of me and opened the scheduling program.
She looked amused. “Aren’t you a little young to be working here?”
I shrugged. “I know what I’m doing.”
“Do you. How sweet.” Her smile widened. She leaned forward, elbows on the counter. Her nails were painted blue. They were chipped. She tapped them against the counter. A small silver cross hung on a thin chain around her neck. “Gordo, is it?”
I looked up at her sharply. “How did you know that?”
She laughed. It sounded sweet. “Your name’s stitched on your shirt.”
I flushed. “Oh, right.”
“You’re cute.”
“Thank you? Um, it looks like I have an opening in an hour. I could squeeze you in if you don’t mind waiting?”
“I don’t mind.” Her eyes were bright.
She reminded me of a wolf.
MARK CAME and brought me lunch.
She was sitting in the waiting room, flipping through an ancient magazine.
The bell rang overhead as he walked in.
“Hi,” he said, sounding shy. It was the first time he’d come in since the whole you-kissed-me-and-then-I-ran-because-of-wolfish-feelings-as-you’re-my-mate-and-I-neglected-to-tell-you fiasco.
“Look who decided to show up,” I said.
I barely remembered the woman was there.
“Shut up,” Mark mumbled, setting a brown paper bag on the counter.
“It’s not a dead rabbit, is it?” I asked him suspiciously. “Because I swear to god, Mark, if it’s another dead—”
“It’s ham and swiss.”
“Oh. Well, that’s better.”
“Dead rabbit?” the woman said.
Mark flinched. I jerked my head toward her.
She arched an eyebrow at us.
I said, “Inside joke.”
She said, “Huh.”
Mark’s nostrils flared.
I pinched his arm to remind him he was in public, for fuck’s sake. He couldn’t go around sniffing everyone.
He looked at her for a moment longer before turning back to me.
“Thank you,” I told him.
He preened just a little.
He was so predictable.
“TAKE ME a couple of days to get the parts in,” Marty told her. “Won’t take long to get it fixed once in, but your car is German-made. Don’t see those around here much. You could drive it, but I can’t guarantee you won’t make the problem worse and break down in the middle of nowhere. You’re in the country, girlie.”
“So I noticed,” she said slowly. “That’s… unfortunate. I did see a motel on my way into town.”
He nodded. “It’s clean. You tell Beth I sent you. She’ll give you a discount. Green Creek is small, but we’re good people. We’ll treat you right.”
She laughed, eyes twinkling. She
glanced at me again before looking back at Marty. “I suppose we’ll see.”
THAT NIGHT Abel sat on the porch, waving as members of his pack arrived for the full moon the next night. He looked content.
“Gordo,” he said as I came out to tell him dinner was almost ready, “come here for a moment.”
I went.
He put his hand on my shoulder.
And for a while, we just… were.
THE LAST supper.
We didn’t know it.
We gathered and laughed and shouted and stuffed ourselves full.
Mark pressed his foot against mine.
I thought of many things. My father. My mother. The wolves. The pack. Mark and Mark and Mark. It was a choice, I knew. I might have been born into this life, this world, but I had a choice. And no one would take that from me.
I wondered when Mark would offer me his wolf.
I wondered what I would say.
I felt weighted and real and tethered.
Thomas winked at me.
Elizabeth cooed over the child in her arms.
Abel smiled.
Mark leaned over and whispered, “This is us. This is our pack. This is our happiness. I want this. With you. One day, when we’ve both grown up.”
SHE WAS in the diner when I went in the next morning, my turn to get coffee for the guys. She was sitting in a booth alone, her head bowed in prayer, hands folded in front of her. She looked up the moment I stepped into the diner.
“Gordo,” she said. “Bright and early.”
“Hello,” I said. “How’re you….” I blanked on her name.
“Elli,” she said.
“Elli. How are you?”
She shrugged. “I’m okay. It’s… quiet here. It takes some getting used to.”
“Yeah,” I said, unsure of what else to say. “It’s always like that.”
“Always? I don’t know how you can stand it.”
“I’ve been here all my life.”
“Have you? Curious.”
A waitress waved at me from behind the lunch counter, moving to get the coffees ready.
I started to walk toward her when a hand closed around my wrist.
I looked down. The nails had been repainted. They were red.
“Gordo,” Elli said. “Can you do me a favor?”
I breathed in and out. “Sure.”
She smiled. It didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Can you pray with me? I have been trying all morning, and for the life of me, I can’t quite get it right. I think I need help.”
“I’m not the best person to—”
“Please.” Her grip on my arm loosened.
“Uh, sure.”
“Thank you,” she said. “Sit down, if you don’t mind.”
“I don’t have long. I gotta get to work.”
“Oh,” she said, “it won’t take long. I promise.”
I slid into the booth across from her. The diner was empty aside from the two of us. The breakfast rush had already passed, and lunch wouldn’t start for a few hours. Jimmy was behind the grill, and the waitress—Donna—was standing in front of the coffee machine.
Elli smiled. She brought her hands in front of her, folding them together. She looked down at mine as if encouraging me to do the same.
I slowly lifted my hands in front of me. The cuffs of my work shirt slid down my wrists a little.
“Dearest Father,” she said, eyes on me, “I am but your humble servant, and I seek your guidance. I have found myself in a moment of crisis. You see, Father, there are things in this world, things that take away from your natural order. Abominations that go against everything you stand for. I have been tasked under your will to strike these abominations down where they stand.
“By the power of your Holy Spirit, reveal to me, Father, any people I need to forgive and any areas of unconfessed sin. Reveal aspects of my life that are not pleasing to you, Father, ways that have given or could give Satan a foothold in my life. Father, I give to you any unforgiveness, I give to you my sins, and I give to you all ways that Satan has a hold of my life. Thank you for your forgiveness and your love.
“My Father, in your Holy Name, I bind all evil spirits of the air, water, ground, underground, and netherworld. I further bind, in Jesus’s name, any and all emissaries of the satanic headquarters and claim the precious blood of Jesus on the air, atmosphere, water, ground, and their fruits around us, the underground and the netherworld below.”
I moved to stand.
Her hand snatched out and grabbed my wrist again.
“Don’t,” she said. “You would do well, Gordo Livingstone, to stay where you are.”
“Okay, Gordo?” Donna asked as she brought a tray of coffees over to me.
I nodded slowly. “Just a prayer.”
The woman across from me smiled.
Donna looked unsure, but she set the tray down. “It’s already on the tab. You tell Marty he needs to square up by the end of the month, okay?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I’ll tell him.”
Donna turned and walked away.
“Elijah,” I said quietly.
“Good,” she said. “That’s real good, Gordo. You’re so young.” She took my hand and pressed her lips against it. I felt the quick flick of her tongue against my skin. “You know only the ways of the beast. They have indoctrinated you early. It’s a shame, really. I don’t know if you can yet be saved. I suppose only time will tell if there can be a cleansing. A baptism in the waters of salvation.”
“He’ll know,” I said quietly. “That you’re here. In his territory.”
“You see, that’s where you’re wrong,” she said. “I am not an Alpha. Or a Beta. Or an Omega.” She cocked her head at me. “I am not you.”
“You know what I am.”
“Yes.”
“Then you should know what I’m capable of.”
She chuckled. “You are nothing but a child. What could you possibly—”
I reached up with my free hand and pulled back my sleeve.
She stared down at the raven surrounded by roses with something akin to awe. “I had heard, but—” She shook her head. “I am sorry for what has happened to you. That you didn’t have a choice in the matter.”
“I could scream,” I told her. “I could scream right now. A woman grabbing a boy like you are. You wouldn’t get far.”
“Aren’t you a feisty one. Tell me, Gordo, do you really think you can outsmart me?”
“I know what you are.”
She leaned forward. “And what am I?”
“A hunter.”
“Of? Say it, Gordo.”
“Wolves.”
She stroked my arm. “Good. That’s good, Gordo. Scream if you want. Scream as loud as you can. In the end, it won’t matter. Not this close to the full moon. Because even now, a pack of wolves has gathered in the woods to revel in their bloodlust. Monsters, Gordo. They are nothing but monsters who have sunk their teeth and claws deep into you. I will free you from them.”
My head felt stuffed, my skin hot. “You won’t get close.”
She grinned. She looked like a shark. She let go of my arm and reached down into her lap. She pulled up a small walkie-talkie and set it on the table between us. She pressed the button. It beeped once. “Carrow,” she said.
She let the button go.
There was a crackle of static.
Then, “Carrow here, over.”
She said, “Are you in position? Over.”
“Yes, ma’am. Ready. Over.”
“And the wolves? Over.”
“Here. Gathered in the clearing. Over.”
“And you have them surrounded? Over.”
“Yes. Ah—there’s, ah. Children. Over.”
She nodded slowly. “All of age,” she said. “They have been lost to their wolves.”
“Don’t do this,” I said. “Please don’t do this.”
Meredith King said, “It is my duty. By the grace of God, I shall wipe th
em from this earth. Tell me, Gordo. Do you love him?”
“Who?” There were tears in my eyes.
“That boy. The one who came to see you yesterday. The wolf. I thought he would smell it on me. The blood of the others. But you distracted him quite nicely. Do you love him?”
“Fuck you.”
She shook her head. “The other packs. They didn’t have a witch. They were… easy. But I have been building toward this moment. This day. Here. Now. Because if you cut off the head, the body dies. The king. The prince. You will thank me. In the end.”
I placed my hands on the table, palms up.
She shifted in her seat and—
A sharp pain in my wrist, like a bee sting in the middle of summer.
I looked down.
She withdrew her hand, the syringe already hidden away.
I said, “No, you can’t do this, you canna do thissss pleassse it’s not—”
The colors of the world around me began to bleed.
Everything slowed down.
I heard words of concern coming from somewhere far, far away.
“Oh now,” the hunter Elijah said in response. “He was jusssst feeling a little sssssick. I’ll help him. I’ll get himmmmmmm—”
It was dark, after.
I DREAMED I was with the wolves.
We ran, and the trees were tall and the moon was bright, and I belonged to them and with them, and I tilted my head back and sang.
But the wolves didn’t sing with me.
No.
They screamed.
I WOKE slowly.
My tongue felt thick in my mouth.
I opened my eyes.
I was lying in the forest.
The canopy above me gave way to the stars in the sky. The moon was fat and full.
I pushed myself up.
My head ached. I could barely think through it.
A whimper off to my left.
I turned.
A large brown wolf was crawling toward me. Its back legs had been broken. Its coat was matted with blood. It was in obvious pain, but still it dragged itself toward me in the dirt and the grass.
I said, “Mark.”
