Bree scoffs. "Shut it, Rivers. Go get me a beer."
"Have your boyfriend get it for you."
"But then I'd miss him."
Holden rolls his eyes, then pats my side for me to stand up. "Do you want anything?"
"Water, please" I answer sweetly.
He nods and walks toward the back door. It isn't until I pay attention, that I notice Jason and Josephine aren't near the fire.
"Anyone seen Jo and Jason?" I ask, looking around the yard for them.
"Are you fucking kidding me?!” Holden screams from inside, and all of us freeze.
Dawson speaks first. "Well, there's your answer."
"Shit." Caleb and I say in unison, getting up and running toward the back door.
As soon as we get there, Jason and Holden are standing on opposite sides of the island. Holden looks as if he's going to attack him at any given moment. Meanwhile, Jason appears genuinely scared. Josephine is standing next to him, trying to get Holden to calm down.
"Holden, relax." She pleads. "It's not a big deal."
His face turns red in anger. "It's a huge fucking deal!" He turns his attention back to Jason and points at Jo. "She's my little sister!"
"I'm a grown woman!" Jo tries, but it doesn't do much good.
"Woman." Holden laughs dryly. "You're a mature child at best."
She gapes at him before reaching for Jason's hand. "I don't have to listen to this. Come on, Jay."
Jason allows Jo to pull him along, but Holden reacts. Within seconds, he's yanking him back by his shoulder. Caleb and I watch it play out in slow motion, both of us rushing to break up the impending fight before it happens. Caleb grabs Jason while I get in front of Holden.
"Baby, Babe!" I yell, putting my hands on his chest and trying to push him away. "Look at me!" I slide my hands up to his face and place each one on his cheeks. "Please, look at me."
He pulls his eyes away from Jason and down to me. I can see in his eyes how he softens. It's not a lot, but it's enough to get him somewhat under control.
"Let's just go up to your room, okay? We can talk there." I whisper, trying my best to keep his attention on me.
"Okay." He nods.
Caleb quickly moves Jason and Josephine out of the way, allowing Holden and I to leave the room and head for the stairs. I follow him up, not missing the way Josephine mouths a silent 'thank you' from the kitchen doorway.
Once we get into his bedroom, I close and lock the door. Holden paces, alternating between gripping his hair and rubbing his hands over his face.
"That douchebag was making out with my sister. My little fucking sister!" He exclaims.
I sigh. "I know, love. I know. But he's not a douchebag. He's one of your best friends."
He scoffs. "Not anymore."
"You don't mean that." I say as I get him to sit down on the bed. Once he's sitting, I climb onto his lap. "He's one of your best friends, Holden. Him liking your sister doesn't change that."
He wraps his arms around me and exhales. "What if he doesn't actually want her, though? What if they're just fooling around?"
I raise my eyebrows at him. "Well then Pot, meet Kettle."
His smiles slightly as he realizes the similarities, but still isn't himself. "That's different. I wanted to be with you, but you took extra convincing."
"And what if whatever they are is her choice?"
"I don't know. I still don't like the idea."
"I know." I murmur, running my fingers through his hair. "But she's a big girl. She needs to make decisions for herself. Just talk to her. See what she has to say, and then talk to Jason – calmly."
He moves one hand to my cheek and softly caresses it. "See? I need you. You're my sanity."
The butterflies erupt in my stomach as he leans in and kisses me. It's not rushed or with any intentions. It's just enough to show me how much I mean to him – just enough to make me fall for him a little bit more.
THREE DAYS LATER, I still can't stop thinking about Sunday. The way he kissed me in the dark laser tag arena, and how he couldn't keep his hands off me for the rest of the night. Just thinking about it ignites my nerve endings like wildfire.
"Thanks for the ride, Daws." I climb out of his car after a long day at work. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Count on it." He answers.
I enter the building and climb up the stairs to my dorm. Bree is at Carson's, so I have the place to myself tonight. I lock the door behind me and make quick work of changing out of my uniform and into sweats. Once I'm done, I get into bed and grab my phone, sending a quick text to Holden.
Me: Home safely and in bed.
His response is immediate.
Holden: Wrong bed.
I can't fight the smile that his words bring. However, I don't know what we are. We're definitely not friends with benefits like last year. It's more than that. Yet, we still haven't talked about it. Every time I'm near him, I can't manage to make the words come out of my mouth and he never mentions it either. It's frustrating, but at the same time, the way he acts around me feels like enough.
Lying in bed, I use my computer to watch a few episodes of Friends while I scroll through Twitter. When I come across a picture of a familiar face, my breath hitches. The picture is recent – posted yesterday. It's some girl with short blonde hair, but that's not what catches my attention. Holden is in the picture, and he's kissing her cheek. I scroll back up to see the tweet along with it.
"Saw this cutie today. I can't wait until Friday. See you at your game @Holden_Rivers!"
My chest tightens and the longer I look at it, the sicker I feel. I don't know what to say or do. Is this why we haven't gotten back together yet? Is he back to old habits? My heart rate starts to quicken and my breathing becomes labored – the telltale signs of an incoming anxiety attack.
I put my phone down and shut my computer before trying to fall asleep. No matter what I do though, the picture is burned into my mind. They both looked so happy and carefree. Meanwhile, he had been texting me that entire day. I'm such an idiot.
An hour passes and I'm still not able to fall asleep. When I can't take my thoughts anymore, I decide to try an old remedy – running. Even though it's almost one in the morning, I slip my sneakers on and pull a sweatshirt over my head. Once I'm ready, I head out the door.
The ground moves quickly beneath my feet. It feels like I'm running away from every negative thought and feeling. Every time my feet hit the pavement, it all gets further and further away. I've missed this.
After 20 minutes, I look up to find that I unknowingly ran to the exact place I need to be – Kappa Delta Phi. I stand on the sidewalk for a second to let myself breathe, wondering what I should do. Some of the lights are still on, but Holden's isn't. What if he's out with her?
'Go in there and figure all of this out, once and for all.' My subconscious tells me.
Before I can second guess myself, I start walking toward the front door. I go into the house and up the stairs, ignoring Caleb entirely when he asks me if everything's okay. I barge into Holden's room, only to find him in his bed, completely alone. The lights are off, but the moonlight is shining through the window.
He wakes, pushing himself up and looking back at the door to see the cause of the commotion. Once he sees me, he reaches over and turns on the lamp.
"Kayleigh?" He asks, rubbing his eyes sleepily. "What are you doing here? Is everything okay?"
"What are we?" I ask impatiently, not giving myself any time to change my mind. This needs to happen.
Holden leans on his arm and looks at me confused. "What?"
"You and I, what are we? Are we just having sex like last year?"
"We haven't had sex."
I roll my eyes and cross my arms. "Don't pay dumb with me. You know exactly what I mean. If we're just hooking up, then fine. It's not really what I want, but I guess I can learn to live with it. What I can't live with, though, is you being with other girls, too."
"Other girls? What ot
her girls?"
I open my phone and toss it onto his bed, showing him the picture I found on Twitter. He looks at it for half a second before smirking – and it angers me to whole different level.
"What are you smirking at? This isn't a fucking joke, Holden! I'm serious. This is driving me crazy. It's been over a month of not knowing what the hell is going on and neither of us ever bring it up. I'm done with it. Are we getting back together, or aren't we?"
Throughout my entire speech, he doesn't stop smirking even for a second. Just when I'm about to storm out, he speaks.
"Kayleigh, open the locket."
"What?!" I scoff. "What the hell does my locket have anything to do with this?! I'm not on drugs again if that's what you're asking."
"Just, open the locket."
Fed up with the games, I angrily unclip the necklace and take the small heart into my hands. It takes a couple seconds but I manage to get enough of a grip on it to open it. When I see what's inside, I freeze.
"You have got to be kidding me."
Chapter 15
Istay completely still, looking down at the small locket in my hands and gawking. On one side is a picture of Holden and I from a party last year. On the other, is a piece of paper with tiny lettering – Be Mine Again?
"You mean, I've had the answer all along?" I ask, causing him to smile brightly.
"Mhm."
"Is that what you whispered in Jo's ear at the arcade?"
He gets up from the bed, wearing only his boxers, and takes a step closer. "Mhm."
"Who else knew?"
"Everyone. Well, except Dawson and Skylar. They would have told you, and I wanted to see how long you would go without knowing."
My eyes narrow. "It was a test?"
"No. My plan was for you to open it at dinner, but you didn't so I decided to wait until you did."
Looking back down at the locket, I shake my head in disbelief. For almost a week now, I've been trying to figure out what all this means. Meanwhile, what I needed was hanging around my neck. I don't know if I want to kiss him, or slap him.
"You're an ass, you know that?"
He smirks. "Is that a no?"
"No, it's not a no."
He closes the distance between us and gently takes the necklace from my hands, closing and clipping it back in place. I find myself just staring up at him, unable to move. Once he's done, he moves one hand to my cheek and the other slides down my arm. My heart starts to pound.
"Kayleigh, being without you this summer was the hardest thing I’ve had to do in a very long time. You are so much more important to me than you realize. So, I'm asking you, please be my girlfriend again?"
I can't help but get emotional, knowing this is all I've wanted since two weeks after he dropped me off at rehab – when I finally came to my senses. No matter how strong of a guard I put up, it's never mattered when it comes to him. He's my favorite person.
"Of course." I reply.
The widest smile spreads across his face, causing his dimples to show and his eyes light up. It only lasts for a second, before he's pulling me into him and kissing me passionately. His hand grips the lower part of my back, while his other slides to the back of my neck. I wrap my arms around him, realizing that no matter how tightly I squeeze, it's still not close enough.
Our tongues move together in an intricate dance, fighting for dominance and control – a fight he always manages to win. He breaks the kiss just long enough to pull my shirt and hoodie over my head and toss them behind him onto the floor. Slowly, he drags his hands over my bra and down my stomach, all the way to the waistline of my sweatpants. Teasing and tantalizing, he moves slowly – giving me every opportunity to stop him, but I don't dare.
"Jump." He murmurs against my mouth.
My body obeys like it was made to do whatever he wants. I wrap my legs tightly around his waist as he carries me over to the wall like it's nothing. Once he places my back against it, he grinds himself against me. His hardening length is straining beneath the thin material of his boxers. Despite it only being our underwear, there is way too much clothing between us.
Holden kisses his way across my cheek, stopping and nibbling lightly on my earlobe before moving down to my neck. His lips and tongue work together to massage my sweet spot. It's as if he remembers every single thing about my body.
Taking one hand off my ass, he reaches for the door and slams it shut, locking it in the process. He pushes off the wall, carries me to the bed, and lays me down gently beneath him. I run my nails down his back, just enough for him to feel it. The moan that escapes him reminds me of all the other times we've been in this exact position.
Kissing down my chest, he stops just before removing my bra. His eyes look to me for any indication that I don't want this, but all he finds is a look of both want and need staring back at him. He undoes each of the three hooks, before carefully sliding it down my arms and leaving it to join the rest of my clothes on the floor.
"You're so beautiful." He breathes as he gazes down at me from above.
I can't help but squirm under his stare. "Shut up and kiss me."
He listens without hesitation, moving one of his hands from my side, up to my breast. Cupping it lightly, he begins twisting and teasing my nipple. I moan into his mouth, reveling in the way it feels.
I reach down and slip my hand beneath his boxers, taking his member into my hand. His breath hitches and all his movements freeze as he bites down on his bottom lip. I slide my hand up and down his shaft, applying just enough pressure to drive him wild. When he finally reopens his eyes, his pupils are completely blown.
He leans back and slowly runs his fingers down to my panties.
"Is this okay?" He asks hesitantly. I don't think I've ever seen him so nervous for something we've done before. "Shit. I don't have any condoms."
Needing this just as bad as he does, I quickly rack my brain for an alternative solution. "Just pull out."
"Are you sure?"
"Holden." I demand, getting his full attention. "Fuck me."
A broad smile appears on his face, with dimples fully on display. "Yes ma'am."
Within seconds, the two of us are completely naked and his hand is rubbing over my sex. I arch my hips up in attempt to gain some friction but it doesn't work. He takes his hand away entirely until I relax my body. It's driving me crazy, and he knows it.
After teasing me enough, he lines his cock up at my entrance. He looks at me one last time, and it’s clear how much we've both been wanting this. In fluid motion, he sinks inside me – my wet heat encasing him completely. God, I have missed this.
His pace starts out slow, but the more I run my nails up and down his back, the more he loses control. He squeezes my right breast and kisses me feverishly as his momentum builds. Before I know it, he's sitting up and grabbing my legs as he pounds into me. I watch his expression change as he chases his high. It only builds me up further. The sounds of our moans and labored breathing fill the room.
"Please don't stop." I beg.
He smirks deviously and reaches his hand down to my clit. Just a small amount of pressure is all it takes and I'm sent over the edge. My orgasm rips through me, making cry out. Holden reacts quickly and places a hand over my mouth to mask the sound.
One, two, three more thrusts and he quickly pulls out just before he spills onto my stomach. I wrap my hand around his length, pushing him through his climax and causing him to moan my name like a prayer.
"Fuck, I've missed you." He pants as he collapses down beside me.
"I've missed you too." I respond honestly.
He grabs his phone to check the time, seeing that it's nearly two in the morning. Getting up, he goes and grabs a towel to clean me off with. I lay still, being way too tired to move. Once he's done, he tosses the towel into the laundry basket and climbs into bed next to me - draping the blanket over us before pulling me close.
"Please tell me you're sleeping over."
I turn my head and
kiss him once. "I can."
"Good." He mumbles sleepily. "Because I don't want to let you go."
NO MATTER HOW MUCH time passes, Dawson cannot manage to stop laughing. Every time he does, Skylar giggles as well.
"Really, guys. It's not that funny." I remark humorously.
Dawson laughs harder while Skylar nods. "But it is. It really is."
Holden starts chuckling as well, but I instantly turn in his lap to face him. "Shush. Don't encourage them."
He sucks in his lips and puts his hands up in surrender, but then smiles and kisses me softly. I don't think I will ever tire of the things he makes me feel.
"I mean, I watched you try so hard to be patient but you were so conflicted. Knowing you could have known on Friday is hilarious to me." Dawson remarks once he's composed himself.
Bree coos and pets my head. "She's just our oblivious little Kayleighkins."
I playfully smack her hand away and snuggle deeper into Holden. In all actuality, they're right. The fact that everything I wanted to know was right there in front of me for days, is comical. Looking back on it now, I can't believe I didn't even think to open the locket. The way it was in a special box and we were at a fancy dinner – I should have known.
"Okay, I have something for the two of you." Skylar tells Bree and me.
She gets up and walks to the back room of the coffee shop before coming out with two medium sized boxes, handing one to each of us. I look slightly confused, but when I open it, it all becomes clear.
Inside is a wine glass with my name on it, a ring pop, and a small card. I pick up the card to see what it says.
I got my ring. Let's do this thing.Will you be my bridesmaid?
Bree and I both squeal simultaneously, placing the boxes to the side and jumping up to hug her.
"Yes, yes, yes! A million times, YES!" I tell her as Bree agrees.
Holden pouts from the couch. "I didn't get that kind of reaction when I asked you out."
All of us laugh as I turn to him. "Aww, are you jealous?"
"Maybe."
Endless December (Sleepless November Saga Book 2) Page 9
