by Mignon Mykel
I unfolded the plain white computer paper, recognizing Asher’s handwriting. I moved to sit on my ass, my knees up and acting as a ledge for my arms as I focused on her words.
I love you.
I know you’re hurting. You and Brielle had a bond like no other. The way that little girl looked at you…Porter, she loved you as much as a little girl could.
Sydney asked me to give you the bear. I know you wanted Bri to keep it with her, but she has your bracelet. Besides, I couldn’t very well tell Sydney no.
Put the bear where you can see it, put it where you can’t. Just know that you have a piece of Bri with you always.
I love you.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
I just need time to clear my own head.
I’ll see you in a few weeks.
-Ash.
I rubbed at my eyes, surprised to find them damp.
Fuck, I loved her.
And God, I missed her. It hadn’t even been a day, and I missed her like crazy.
I looked at the bear then, picking it up. It was soft and one of those bears with the floppy extremities. Over one ear, was a bright pink bow secured to the bear’s ear by way of an elastic.
I lifted the brown bear to my nose and if I focused enough, I could still smell Bri’s bubble gum sweetness.
Standing, I took the bear and the note toward my bed, and propped both up on my nightstand.
Then I went to my laptop, finalizing plans.
I ignored Porter’s texts the first day.
The second morning, they went from worried, to simple messages of his love.
That almost hurt as bad as him shutting me out.
I still needed time though.
I came from a world where I’d been unwanted, but then to watch as a little girl who was wanted—so very much so—was taken from her family? I fucking didn’t understand it.
Running from home, from Porter, was cowardly, but I needed to be away, and I needed the person who saw my first steps toward change.
The drive was long, even if it was only five hours, but the time I spent with Carter was needed. Arriving to Cherry Point, I was surprised at the initial wave of failure that rushed through me.
It was a feeling I hadn’t felt in a long time.
But within hours of re-meeting the girl who was my first true friend, everything started to feel right again.
It was the fifth night now. Carter still had to work while I was here, but I spent the days driving around and finding beautiful landscapes to shoot. Maybe I’d put them up in the rental someday.
I arrived back to her apartment to see her car was already in the drive. I let myself in, confused when I heard her talking to someone.
She threatened a Douglas brother on me, but I really didn’t think it was plausible.
Hunter, who had been stationed at Cherry Point when Carter and I were in boot, was now stationed in California, but was overseas. Her other brothers, who she introduced me to by way of photographs, were all over, with the eldest, Tucker, back home in Montana, working on putting together his own military-type group.
With them all over, who could she—
And then I heard the familiar timbre.
My pace slowed as I neared the voices, not believing my ears.
“…been good to her. I know she’s sad right now, but she’s almost a different person,” Carter was saying. I stepped into the room and my eyes landed on—
“Porter?”
He was sitting on Carter’s couch, at the edge of his seat, as he spoke to Carter. She glanced up from her perch on the fireplace, smiling at me.
“I like him, Spence.”
I shook my head, still not completely believing.
“What are you—”
“Hey, beautiful,” was what he responded with, standing and moving toward me. I was frozen to my spot.
My eyes followed him as he neared, my chin lifting on its own accord as he stepped right up to me. When he put his hand on my face, I bit my lip.
When he leaned in, I closed my eyes.
His lips pressed to just between my brows. “I love you,” he whispered gently.
“I’m sorry,” he added, pressing a kiss in front of my ear.
“And thank you.” This kiss was lightly to my lips.
“For?” He didn’t move back and my words caused my lips to brush his.
“Being you. The bear.” He shrugged. “Being you.” He kissed me once more and grabbed my hand. “I was supposed to meet Carter earlier this summer. I didn’t want to miss the chance. She told me stories.”
I let him pull me to the couch, casting a frown at my friend. “Stories?”
“Oh yes.” She smiled over at me. “Like the time you took too many carbs at chow, so the next meal you didn’t take nearly enough, and almost passed out on course.” Well, yeah, because you had thirty-seconds to eat. I thought carbs were the way to go.
I quickly learned protein was the answer.
Porter sat and pulled me into his lap. I went willingly, but only because I was still a little lost and confused.
“And about the time you nearly wet yourself when your Drill Instructor yelled at you the first time,” Porter said with a squeeze of his hand on my thigh. I looked over my shoulder at him.
I was scared shitless that day. It was the first time any of the DIs had been literally in my face, spitting mad at me. I was embarrassed to say that, even though my foster father never raised his voice at me, I was quickly fearful of what was happening.
So yes.
I almost pissed my pants.
“Well,” Carter said, slapping her hands on her thighs and standing, “you guys want to order in? I can continue grilling your guy over food.”
I felt Porter’s chest move behind me as he chuckled. “Sure. But let me pay.”
“Nope. You are a guest, my friend. And she is family.” Then Carter pointed at me, her eyes narrowing. “Even if you did fucking ghost on me like I knew you would.”
I opened my mouth to say something, but she was out of the room before I could.
Then, before I could say anything to Porter, he stood, depositing me on the couch. He took my knees in his hands, separating them, before kneeling so we were nearly eye to eye.
“Can you forgive me?” he asked. “I know I was an ass. I didn’t…I don’t have an excuse.”
“You were hurting.”
“But so were you.”
I shrugged. “She was your niece.”
“If you think for a moment, that she wasn’t also yours…”
My eyes filled with tears and I gave him a watery half-smile. In my heart, I knew she was. I just sometimes had a hard time believing it with my head.
“I’m sorry for being an ass. I didn’t mean to make you feel like I was pushing you away,” he continued. “I need you, Asher. Please come home with me at the end of the weekend.”
I nodded, my eyes still teary. “And we can talk on the drive. You can’t shut me out, Porter.” My nodding turned into a left-right motion as my words faded whisper soft. I wasn’t going to cry again, I wasn’t going to cry again.
“Never again.”
Carter was a pretty cool chick.
I quickly saw the friendship she had with Asher, even though they’d been apart for, fuck, three years? I’d compare their relationship to mine and Logan’s, best buds even though we only saw each other once a year, but theirs withstood even more time.
Our last day, it rained. We stayed in, playing board games.
The woman was ruthless.
I thought I was bad when it came to Monopoly, but Carter brought it to a whole new level. Asher was quickly in debt, ending her game. She now leaned into my side, acting as my sidekick.
“You know, whatever you land on in that strip is going to have you selling back your hotels,” Carter said smugly from the other side.
I looked down the row in questi
on.
Carter had hotels on Pennsylvania, North Click, and Pacific; she owned all four railroads; and she had two houses on Park Place and Boardwalk.
Those were her only properties, but she made bank on them.
The orange bills splayed in her hand were the indication.
I owned nearly everything else, but my only hotels were on those damned light blues.
You didn’t make money unless you put real estate on them.
But if I rolled a twelve, I’d land on Go.
I picked up the die, shaking them between my hands, before bringing my cupped hands to Ash. “Blow.”
She lifted a brow but grinned, blowing on my hands all the same.
As I moved my hands to release the die, Carter lifted both hands toward her face, her fingers crossed.
I dropped the die.
They clacked to the board. Rolled.
And stopped.
“Twelve!” Asher yelled, throwing her hands in the air and jumping against me.
Grinning, I moved the car piece from Water Works, all the way down to Go.
“Must be nice having your own good luck charm with you,” Carter groaned, although with a smile, making it good-hearted.
I chuckled, throwing my arm around Asher’s shoulders and pulling her close, smacking my lips to her temple. “Yeah. I certainly play better when she’s in the stands, too.”
Asher laughed and pushed at my chest. “Stop. You do not.”
“Oh, I do. Just ask Nico. He doesn’t have to harp on me so much.”
“Whatever,” Asher said, shaking her head and smiling. I rubbed my hand over her shoulder right before she stood. “I’m getting water. You two want anything?”
“I’m good,” Carter said, reaching for the die.
“I’ll just sip off yours,” I told her, winking up at her.
“Yeah, I’ll get you your own. My definition of sip, and yours, are very different,” Asher replied, heading out of the room. I watched as she walked away.
God, I loved her.
And I really loved seeing this side of her.
How she was with Carter, was nearly identical to how she was with Ace, so knowing that the moment she left foster care and her thoughts of being unwanted, she found a friendship in Carter?
I couldn’t even begin to thank Carter for her role in molding the woman I was going to marry.
“So.” Carter shook the die between a cupped hand, her eyes on mine. “I saw the rock, and I know she agreed to marry you, but I want to know if you’re good for her.”
My brows raised. I wasn’t expecting this conversation.
It was the end of the trip. Not only that, but Carter had an opportunity to talk to me one-on-one when I first arrived.
Yet she waited until the day Ash and I were due to leave.
“I love her. I’m pretty sure I have since the moment I met her.” I kept my eyes locked on Carter’s. I wasn’t going to give her a reason to not believe me. “I’ve wanted nothing more than to keep the ghosts from her eyes, and seeing her happy, makes me happy. She’s come a long way since the day I met her.”
Carter nodded, still shuffling the die in her hand. “I don’t doubt that. What I have a hard time with though, is my friend showing up four days early with a tear-streaked face. Even in boot, when everything was taken from her, she didn’t cry.”
I shifted, slightly uncomfortable now. “It was a bad few weeks. Months.”
“I know. She told me.”
I had nothing to add, so I just stared over the board game at the blonde with incredible skills. She could probably get just about anybody to talk, with the way her blue eyes lasered in on mine.
“I know everyone has their own way of getting over tough shit. I just didn’t think Asher had it in her to cry. And you made her cry.”
My heart felt too big for my chest. “I know,” I managed to get out. “And I won’t do it again.” I wouldn’t.
Never again, would I be the cause of her tears.
I would be the one to hold her through her tears, to wipe them away.
But they would never be because of my words or actions. Never again.
“Better not,” Carter said offhandedly, her gaze dropping to the board. She let go of the die finally.
And she passed all my properties, without landing on a single one.
She had ninja skills when it came to Monopoly.
And probably with her friends too.
I liked her all the more for it.
We got back to the house at eleven that night.
Asher’s Kia was uncomfortable as fuck for a guy of my stature, and I’d like nothing more than to get her in a different car. But that was battle for a different day.
“We’re home,” I said, after shutting down the car, turning toward her sleeping form. She didn’t stir with my words.
With the back of her seat reclined slightly, she had turned so she was nearly on her side facing me, and fell asleep sometime around nine. It had been a long two hours to drive in silence, but I was just thankful she was going home with me.
I reached out to run my hand down her hair. “Asher.”
Her sigh was really damn cute, and I found myself grinning in the dark. “Asher. Beautiful, we’re home.”
And it was a home.
Almost.
It just needed Asher.
It also just needed a dog barking happily near the fence—white picket, I’d like to add—but I was hoping to have that accomplished tomorrow after practice.
Her sigh was heavy, but when her eyes opened, her smile was full—even if half-asleep.
“Ok,” was her quiet reply.
I leaned over the console to press a kiss to the corner of her lips. I straightened, saying, “I’ll grab the bags.” She had her big suitcase but I only had a medium duffle. I’d been in a hurry to get to North Carolina, and didn’t need a whole lot for a weekend.
Asher met me at the back of the car, just as I was closing the trunk. I shouldered the duffle and lifted her suitcase by the handle, taking her hand in my free hand.
“I did some things,” I told her, walking with her toward the door that would lead into the house.
I let go of her suitcase so I could hit the garage button, then swung the door open so Asher could step in before me.
After grabbing her suitcase, I followed her in. The garage door brought us into the mudroom, which Asher walked through in the dark.
It was okay. I hadn’t done anything in there other than add some funky baskets that my teammate’s girlfriend swore were the key to organization.
After Nico and my attempt to making the place homier with oversized vases with stick things inside, and candles, I studied the internet, only to realize what I wanted to do with the house, was well over my abilities.
Thankfully, we had a new kid on the team who did have the ability.
At least, the connection.
Jordy Popps was the kid of an internet Susie Homemaker. He came over with Nico and the three of us men did a video chat with his mom, who gave me all sorts of ideas for the space. With his mom’s ideas listed, the three of us hit up every single home goods store in the area, and then Popps’s girlfriend came to join the fun, too, adding that last feminine touch.
I was pretty damn proud of the mudroom, but I guessed that could wait until the next time Ash did laundry.
Because my luck, the next time she’d leave the house, she’d do it through the front door and completely bypass that freaking awesome mud room.
Asher hit the light switch in the hall that led to our bedroom, and to the main living space.
And she gasped.
This wall wasn’t my number one favorite in the place, but it was definitely up there. This one had multi-sized canvas black and white prints of our family—because, as much as she sometimes tried to deny it, my family was hers, even without the wedding.
Over the weekend, I was sure to
snap a few pictures of Ash with Carter, too, because it was evident that Carter was her family, as well. I’d have to get those printed and on the wall soon.
“Oh, my gosh,” Asher said, bringing her fingers to her mouth.
I dropped our bags in the doorway of the mudroom, and went to her, taking her free hand. “There’s more.” I took her into the living space where, to the right of the front door, there was now a foyer table and a roman numeral clock built into the already shiplap wall.
That was my favorite wall in the rental.
Putting those numbers in place just perfectly, though, was a pain in my left nut, but it looked pretty damn good, taking up the entire space. On the table was a bowl with those twig ball things, and a few candles.
“I don’t…” she started, but faltered, shaking her head. “Why?” She turned toward me but her eyes snagged behind me at the fireplace.
The boys and I white washed it, and stained the mantle a deep cherry. I was afraid the contrast would be too much, but it looked good. “Jesus, Porter,” she mumbled, stepping around me and the couch, moving to the fireplace. I followed like the puppy dog I was with her, and watched as she gently brushed her hand along the mantle.
“I talked to the landlord before I did anything major, and she was cool with the plans Popps’s mom sent me. I wanted the place to be home, Ash. We moved in, sure, but Nico had done everything else. We were busy. I wanted you to be able to come back here, and recognize it as home. It’s our home.”
She turned toward me, the smile on her face small, tears in her eyes.
Shit. What did I do now?
“It’s beautiful,” she said, stepping to me and wrapping her arms around my hips.
I let out a breath of relief as I wrapped my arms around her shoulders. “I love you.”
She nodded against my chest and tightened her arms around my body.
I dropped my head to hers, brushing a kiss to her hair. I wasn’t doing a damn thing that would push her away.
Not again.
When I woke in the morning, I was alone, but I figured I would be.
