Both anger and fear start to rip through my veins when I look down to read what’s written on the inside of the small white envelope.
I said no cops.
Did I not make myself clear?
Now you are going to have to live with the consequences of your decision.
I warned you, Brandon. You should have listened!
So you have given me no other choice.
The next bunch …
R.I.P
“No!” I growl out, instantly spinning around until my eyes lock on Paul. He’s standing by the bottom step of the stairs and his eyes are wide, but mine are wider. “Where’s Holly?” I ask, my voice flat.
There’s a moment of silence.
“She’s upstairs playing in her room,” Rach answers when Paul still doesn’t respond.
My eyes narrow on him further, “I told you not to get the cops involved!” I take a step closer. “I specifically asked you to let me handle this, but would you listen? No! No, of course you wouldn’t! Paul knows best. Isn’t that right? You always know what’s for the best, don’t you Paul? Well, are you fucking happy now?” I ask, rage evident in my voice as I hiss my questions right up in his face.
“Mr. Taylor,” Detective Land tries to gain my attention and I feel Rach gripping at my shoulder, but I’m in no way done with the guy who’s standing in front of me yet. Not by a long shot.
I straighten my shoulders, keeping my gaze on his while pointing my finger against his chest, “He didn’t show because you went against him. You went against his demands and now this!” I jab the note against his chest harder and my jaw steels. “I told you, didn’t I? I know that guy. I know him more than anybody else in this goddamn room, and I know that he didn’t show his face because he knew that I was being followed! And, why was I being followed? Oh. Oh, yeah. That’s right. I was being followed because some crazy old guy didn’t take that fucking asshole’s note seriously enough! This? This is on you now! Congratulations, Paul. You could’ve just signed your own daughter’s life away!” I throw my hands in the air, my own words causing an overwhelming sharp pain to shoot straight through the center of my heart.
The piece of paper falls out of my hands and down to the floor as I inhale a sharp breath and make my way into the living room.
“You are delusional if you truly believe the words you have just spoken!”
I spin around, my eyes wide again, “Me? You think that I’m the delusional one here?” I ask, stepping closer to him as he makes his way in the room behind me.
“All I know is that he is out there somewhere and he has my daughter! I want my daughter brought home safe, not in a damn coffin!”
“Don’t you dare stand there and tell me that you’re the only one who wants her back home safe! I know what he’s capable of, Paul. He raped and killed my girlfriend all those years ago for crying out loud! Do you have any—?”
“And did it ever occur to you that he killed my wife? He killed my wife because she was doing what she could to help you! Alex is all I have left of her! She is all I have left …” Shit. “I … She …”
“Paul?” I lift my hand out, grabbing a hold of his shoulder to steady him when he stumbles to the side. What in the? “Paul?” His skin’s getting pale and his eyes are becoming dull.
“Get away from me!” His voice is quiet as he swipes his right hand out, pushing me away from him before clutching onto his left arm. Shit. This isn’t good.
My gaze darts all around me and Diane immediately steps to his side, with Rach coming over to mine, “Paul, honey? Are you okay?” She’s gripping his shoulders as he drops down to his knees.
“Brandon, do something,” Rach taps my arm when he falls onto his side, gasping for air. He’s struggling to breathe. His face is screwed up tight and he’s writhing around on the floor beneath me. He’s turning white. He’s … “Brandon!”
It didn’t take long for the ambulance to arrive after the detectives made the call, but he was already unconscious when the paramedics got inside the house. It was horrible. I was standing there motionless, watching as Alexis’ father collapsed in front of my very eyes. It was all because of me. What I did and the things that I said. If he doesn’t make it, then I don’t think that I’ll ever be able to forgive myself. I was angry. I was upset. I was a whole lot of things, but it shouldn’t have had to come to this. This is the last thing I wanted; the last thing we needed on top of everything else that’s going on.
They took him out of here on a stretcher, with an oxygen mask fixed over his face. Though they seemed optimistic that he’s gonna be okay, it doesn’t make this situation any easier to deal with. I did that to him. Me. I wanted to blame somebody for everything that’s been going on and for what’s happening now. I lashed out at somebody who’s in the same position as I am. Yeah, I’ve already lost somebody because of that monster, but I’ve gotta remember that so has Paul. He’s had to endure the same pain and suffering as I have in the past, and I just damn well hope that we’re never gonna have to go through the same thing again in our present or in the future.
Rach and Diane both followed behind the ambulance in Rach’s car, and she told me that she would call as soon as there was any news. Well, she just did. I initially thought that he was having a heart attack, but as it turns out, he wasn’t. He was having an anxiety attack.
“They’re keeping him in under observation,” I tell Rye as soon as I end the call. “This is getting way outta control.” I mumble, walking over toward the dining table to take the seat opposite to his.
“And Neil didn’t show?”
“No. No, he didn’t.” I rake my hands through my hair, resting my elbows on the table ahead of me. “If only I’d had the damn keys then I could’ve gotten out there right away. I would’ve been able to catch up to him. This could’ve all been over by now.” I shake my head, now resting my chin in my hands.
“These?” I lift my gaze and see an apologetic look seeping into his eyes as he pushes the set across the table toward me. “Shit, man. I had no idea until this morning that I still had them.” He winces, and his lips start forming into a tight line.
My brow furrows in confusion, “You took the keys?”
He nods and blows out a breath, “Yeah, I slipped them inside my shirt pocket after what went down here yesterday, and I must have compl—” He stops explaining when his cell phone chimes out. His brow furrows and his eyes dart over on me again for a split second before he stands. “Sorry, I need to take this.” I nod, turning my head to the side, my gaze following him as he hastily makes his way out of the room and down the hallway.
Before the detectives left, they told me that they’re making good headway with the list I handed to them late last night. They said that they’re hoping for most of the results to come back over the weekend. A part of me was relieved to hear this, but the other part? Yeah, not so much. I’m hoping to God that they’re wrong because I don’t wanna have to accept that one of our friends is involved in any of this. If it turns out that they are, then I don’t think I’m gonna be able to handle it, knowing that they’ve betrayed me, Alexis … our beautiful daughter.
I push back in my seat and head through to the living room to check on Holly, “Hey,” I say, stuffing my hands inside my pants pockets as I head over to her.
She’s sitting in the window seat and looking out over the street. She doesn’t turn around when I speak and so I walk closer, though it isn’t until I’m right beside her that I see tears slowly running down both of her cheeks, “Holly?” I wrap my arm around her shoulders as I take the seat beside her, and watch her as she closes her eyes. “Hey, come on. What is it?”
“I miss my mommy,” she whispers quietly as fresh tears begin to fall. “Why isn’t she home yet? You promised that she will be home for her birthday.”
“Yeah, well. It isn’t her birthday yet, is it?” She shakes her head, and I know that I’ve just managed to put an end to this conversation. In a way, I’m feeling relieved. Am
I delaying the inevitable? Maybe I am. Maybe I’m not. Your guess is just as good as mine on this one.
I bring her into my arms, resting my chin on the top of her head, hoping and praying that something else happens and soon. We’re coming up to the forty-eight hours, and as more and more time passes by, I feel a little more of the hope I’ve been holding deep down inside of me starting to slowly drain away.
“Sorry about that,” I glance over my shoulder when I hear Rye. He steps inside the room and his gaze darts straight over to Holly. “Hey, what’s the matter Princess?” She shakes her head without speaking a word, and when he brings his attention over on me, I shake mine and drop my gaze to the floor. “Alright, well, if you’re not going to tell Uncle Ryan then maybe I can bribe it out of you with some ice-cream or something?” She whips her head around in a flash, and I notice a slight sparkle entering her eyes. See? I told you that he dotes on her, didn’t I? “Sound good to you?” He asks as he wiggles his eyebrows.
“Chocolate with sprinkles and sauce?” she asks, her voice sounding more hopeful as she hops off of the seat.
“Always with the sprinkles and the sauce,” he winks at her and crouches down until his eyes are level with hers. “Why don’t you go ahead and grab your shoes and a coat and me and your daddy over here will be right out?”
“You’re taking me to the store?” Her voice picks up a notch while a smile starts to display over her lips. “Really? We can go outside?”
His grin widens, “Yes.”
Yeah, no. It’s not gonna happen. I stand up from my seat, “No, man. I don’t think that that’s such a good id—”
“Daddy, please?” Holly pleads, and she grabs a hold of my hand. Shit. She’s gonna be really disappointed if I say no to her now, but what the hell else am I supposed to do here? We can’t go out there. It isn’t an option for us to go outside. I mean, he might come back. What if he comes back here and I’m not home? There have already been way too many missed opportunities up until now, and I sure as hell don’t wanna have to miss another one.
“Go and grab your coat and we’ll meet you in the hallway,” Rye intervenes before I have a chance to answer her, and I briefly close my eyes, dropping my head down low. When she opens the door to leave the room, he turns back around to face me, shrugging his shoulders.
“She needs a distraction,” he begins. “She knows something isn’t right. Let her have this, man.”
“What if—?”
“We’ll be no more than an hour, tops, and you’ll have your cell in case the cops or Rach need to get a hold of you,” he cuts me off. “Come on, Brandon. You could both do with getting out of here for a while. Let’s go and get some fresh air. It’ll help.”
Admitting defeat, I nod, “One hour.”
Holly’s holding onto my right hand with her left, and Rye’s left with her right, skipping along while singing the words out loud to one of her favorite Disney songs.
“Wow, I’m impressed, Holly,” Rye smiles down at her, which in turn makes me smile.
Alexis taught her the lyrics over the weekend. Well, she tried, anyways. I walked in on the both of them last Saturday. I’d just arrived home from the studio and they were both sitting by the fire in the living room. I paused in the doorway, watching them with amusement. Why was I amused? Well, they were pretty entertaining. In fact, they always are, but that particular time I had to try and contain my laughter so that it didn’t seem as though I was taking sides. You wanna know what was going on? Well, I’ll tell you.
Holly was sitting on Alexis’ lap, and they both started to laugh when Alexis messed up some of the words. Yeah, it was pretty funny the first time, but when she did it for the fifth? Well, then Holly didn’t find it so amusing anymore. She stood up on her feet and turned around to face her as she placed her hands on her hips, the way Alyssa does with Rye when she doesn’t get her own way over something; mainly her credit card bill at the end of each month. Anyways, apparently Alexis wasn’t allowed to join in with her again until she knew all of the lyrics, word for word, from the beginning right the way through to the end. Boy, did she look mad at her mommy. She told her that it was a good job that her daddy was the one who wrote the songs, and when Holly spotted me spying on the both of them, Alexis twisted around and pulled a face, like she’d just been well and truly put in her place, though her eyes were still holding that same warm sparkle that’s ever present within them.
My eyes start glazing over just from having that one small, yet precious memory flash into my mind.
“You alright, bro?” Rye steals me away from my thoughts and I nod, inhaling some more of the fresh air in my lungs as we round the corner back onto our street.
“Yeah,” I answer with a tight smile, increasing my pace when I see Rach climbing out of the driver’s side of her car just ahead of us.
“Auntie Rachael!” Holly lets go of the both of our hands and starts running toward her when Rach spreads her arms out wide, embracing her.
The two of them wait by the front gate for me and Rye to catch up to them, “What’s going on?” I ask her, noticing that Diane didn’t come back with her. “What did the doctors say?”
“They are monitoring him and he should be able to come home tomorrow,” she answers. “Diane is staying with him tonight and I told her that I would take some things over for them in a little while.” See what I mean? She’s incredible. Even after being in the room and hearing all of the things he said about her, the way he spoke to her when he and Diane both got here, she’s still willing to help out whenever and wherever she can. She’s truly an amazing person.
We head down the pathway and toward the house, but as soon as I notice that Rye’s no longer beside me, I pause and turn around to see him tapping anxiously into his cell phone.
“Everything okay, buddy?” I ask, and I feel my brow furrow. I slowly walk back toward him as Rach and Holly go inside, cocking my head to the side when I both see and hear him exhaling a long breath.
“Yeah,” he answers, and I notice that his lips start turning up at the sides, his eyes still fixated on the screen. “Yeah, it is.”
“Brandon!” I swing back around to face the house when I hear Rach calling out for me. “Brandon!” Her voice is louder the second time and she’s sounding anxious.
I sprint toward the house, pausing when I see her appear in the doorway. Her face is white, her eyes wide, her hands vigorously shaking, “Rach? Rach, what the fuck?”
She shakes her head, struggling to catch a breath. I grab her by the shoulders, shaking her to try and get her to snap back away from wherever the hell she is so that she’ll look at me. I immediately regret it, though. I wish I hadn’t just made her look at me. It’s there again. It’s visible in her eyes. That same grave look that I never wanted to see ever again.
“B-B-Brandon,” she’s struggling to speak, and I bend my knees until my eyes are searching hers. “A-A-A-l-Alexis called.”
Brandon?
Pick up.
Please?
Brandon, please?
He’s back.
He ... Neil …
He’s …
Bran ...
I …
I don’t know where I am.
I…
I’m scared.
I’m so scared.
Brandon?
I need …
I …
I got away.
He left and I …
I want …
I want to come home.
No.
No, please?
Oh God!
No!
Please no!
No! Please?
NO!
I’m sitting on the hallway floor with my head in-between my knees, yanking my hair so goddamn hard, trying to numb away all of the pain that I’m feeling inside. My whole body is shaking and I’m rocking back and forth, waiting for somebody to tell me that this didn’t happen. That she didn’t call. That she wasn’t begging for me to help her. I’
m trying to pretend that I didn’t hear her pleading for me to pick up the phone. She called. She called. She … needed me.
She sounded so scared; so afraid. Her voice was shaky and a pitch higher than it usually is. Then? Then came here cries, her screams before her voice began to fade away into the distance, until there was no sound at all.
I can only barely hear their voices because of the loud, torturous thumping sound that’s raging inside my head, “Brandon?” I shake my head. I don’t wanna hear them. I don’t wanna have to believe that this is all real anymore. I wanna go back. I wanna go back to last week; to when we were together as one. “Brandon?”
She was pleading, begging for me, but I wasn’t here. I wasn’t … I wasn’t here for her.
I try and stand, resting my hand against the wall to steady myself as I go to get back up on my feet. My eyes are sore, and my breaths are coming out hard and fast. When I lift my gaze, I see Rye and Rach both looking right at me, waiting for me to say something; to say anything. I can’t. I can’t because it hurts to even think; to feel.
I’ve listened to it over and over and over again until I can’t bear to hear the desperation within her voice anymore. I reach out, swiping the answering machine off of the table and across the hallway, from my frustration, anger … my guilt.
The cops managed to trace the call. They traced it to some secluded area on the outskirts of the city. They went there. They headed straight over to the location where the call was made from. They have search teams in place and there’s a whole bunch of them out there looking for her. I should be out there looking for her. Hell! I should’ve been here for her.
She made the call not long after we left the house to go and fetch the ice-cream for Holly. If I’d been home then I might’ve been able to get over to her in time. If … I wasn’t here for her.
Mistaken Hope Page 8
