Mistaken Hope

by Sarah Elizabeth

  “I’ll … I’ll … I just need a minute,” I say, my voice strained. “Where’s Holly?” I ask, and slowly glance over my shoulder to face her while lifting my hand, placing it gently over hers.

  “She’s dressed and I’m about to take her out onto the porch,” she answers, running the thumb of her other hand tenderly across my cheek, trying to wipe my sadness away.

  “Do you think that it’s really a good idea for her to be going there today? I mean, she doesn’t understand. She’s too young to understand any of this.” I say, and my voice cracks.

  She hesitates and takes a breath, “I think she should be there.” She squeezes my shoulder one more time, offering me a small, sad smile as she places a warm kiss on my cheek. Her brown eyes search mine for a moment before she makes her way back out of the room, leaving me standing here, alone with my thoughts. She knows that it’s gonna be a hard day for me today. It’s gonna be a hard day for everybody. You know, you think that they’re always gonna be around. That they’re always gonna be there. But, then they’re gone. Just like that. Leaving a huge void that will never ever be filled.

  When I bring my gaze back around to the window, I see Paul, Diane, and Alyssa making their way out of the house and down the pathway toward the cars. It’s in this very moment that it hits me. I guess that it really is the time to say goodbye. No. No, not goodbye. It’s never gonna be goodbye. I don’t do them. I never have and I never will. They say that funerals help a person to grieve, to come to terms with their loss, but I’m not gonna be grieving today. Nope. I’m never gonna get past this. Ever.

  Three deep breaths later, I slowly turn around and make my way toward the bedroom door, pausing when the wooden jewelry box over on the nightstand catches my eye. That’s what I bought Alexis for her birthday. Yeah, it’s small, but it’s a sentimental gift. That’s why I bought it. I knew that it would mean much more to her than anything else that money can buy. I knew that when she opened it up, I would see her bright, beaming smile light up her beautiful face, just like it lights up my whole world.

  I glance over to the door, then back toward the nightstand, making my way over to Alexis’ side of the bed before picking it up in the both of my hands. She once told me that her mom had one of these, and I guess that’s why I felt the need to gift it to her. She said that she would sit in the center of her mom’s bed while Rose was getting ready to start a nightshift, and that they used to open it up together and twist the key in the back. They would both hum away to the tune, and Rose would smile back at Alexis through the reflection in the mirror as the little ballerina on the inside would twirl around and around and around.

  A small smile starts playing over my lips when I open up the dark wooden box, and I close my eyes when I hear the delicate tune starting to play, breaking through the silence that was previously filling the room.

  “Brandon?” When I hear her speak again, I clench my eyes tightly closed as an indescribable pain shoots right across my chest and up through my heart. “It’s time.”

  I nod, rake a hand through my hair, and reopen my eyes while placing the box back down in its place, breathing heavily as I bring my gaze over to her.

  I see the tears brimming in her eyes, her lips quivering as she comes straight over to me, wrapping her arms around me as she holds me tight.

  “I loved her so so much, Rach. I loved her more than life itself.”

  Epilogue

  Six Months Later

  It’s been six months. A whole one hundred and eighty two days since she was taken away from us. I’m not gonna lie to you here. It still hurts. Most days it hurts just the same as it did on the night she was stolen away from us. The same night that I lost all of my hopes, dreams, my light, my soul mate, my best friend, my heart … my forever.

  The pain from the huge void that she’s left behind is excruciating. There are no words to describe the intense agony that I’ve been feeling and still feel inside. No words at all.

  I didn’t think that it would be possible to feel immense pain like this again, at least, I thought that it would’ve somehow eased over time, but it hasn’t. There isn’t a day that I don’t think about the life we once had, and there isn’t a single damn one that passes by when I don’t think about the life we should’ve been living together as a family.

  “Hey,” I kneel down on the ground just beside her headstone and reach over, stroking my fingers lightly across the letters of her name with my right hand, while resting the fresh bouquet of twenty-five red roses against the white marble stone with my left.

  It still doesn’t seem possible.

  IN LOVING MEMORY

  of

  Alexis Rose Taylor

  A loving daughter

  A doting mother

  A beautiful wife

  22nd February 1994 – 22nd February 2019

  Missed for eternity, forever in our hearts.

  “I wasn’t gonna come by here until later today, but I had to. I had to come. I can’t seem to stay away,” I swallow, hard, adjusting the flowers before resting back and sitting cross-legged right beside her.

  It’s true. I can’t. I’ve been coming here on each and every day since her funeral. “So, um … Holly enjoyed her first day in school yesterday. You would’ve been so proud of her, Alexis. You would’ve been so fucking proud.” My voice is strained, and more tears are threatening to fall as I reach inside my pocket to pull out the painting that Holly brought back home with her in her purple and pink satchel yesterday afternoon. “She um … she made this. It’s you, me, and Holly. See?” I turn the piece of paper around and hold it up, as though she’s right here and that she’s gonna be able to see what I’m showing her. “You see, even though we’re not together like this right now, we once were and we will be again, I know that we will be.”

  “Dammit, Alexis! This is so fucking hard that I can’t bear it. I hate that I can’t hear you, or see you. I hate that I can’t feel you anymore.” I take a breath and lift my hand up to my face, wiping the fresh warm tears away from my eyes.

  “I resent knowing that I have to live the rest of my life without you by my side.”

  I didn’t come here to do this. I didn’t. I came here to tell her about the dream that I had last night. I needed to come here and tell her because this morning was the first time since she left me here alone that I actually woke up with a smile over my face. At least, I felt it there until I reached out for her. When I opened my eyes, the reality hit me like nothing else because then I remembered. When my hand touched the cold side of the bed, I realized that it was only a dream; that it wasn’t real. She wasn’t lying right beside me like I’d imagined she had been at all.

  “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I had to bring you into all of this. If I could turn back the clock. If I could … no. You know what? I don’t know what to think or feel anymore. Some days I would change everything, but others? I wouldn’t change a thing. I wouldn’t. Some mornings I wake up and I think to myself … I think to myself that I’m glad that I asked you to dance with me that night. I’m glad that I asked you because that was the night you made all of my dreams come true. What we had together was real. It was so fucking special. My life was incredible when I was with you and I was the happiest goddamn guy in the whole damn world. We weren’t given long enough. We didn’t have enough time and it was never supposed to end this way!” I rake my hands through my hair and inhale a couple of breaths.

  “We were supposed to live the rest of our lives side by side. We were supposed to live out the rest of our days as one. We were always meant to grow old together, Alexis.” I lift my gaze and stare up at the sky, trying to stay calm and keep my emotions under control. My heart’s thrashing inside my chest, my tears flowing freely now because I’m not strong enough to hold them in anymore.

  “I know something, though. I know that we’re gonna be together again. We will be someday, I know we will. You gave me the happiest six years of my goddamn life and there’s nothing or nobody in this e
ntire world that will ever be able to steal that time or those memories away from me. There isn’t,” I swipe my hand over my face as I stand, inhaling and exhaling deep, shaky breaths, summoning for myself to hold it together. “The thought of never being able to kiss you, hold you, or make love to you again … I can’t … I won’t accept that. I can’t accept any of those things, Alexis.” I crouch down beside her this time, dropping my gaze to the ground as I lean in closer. I don’t want anybody else around us to hear this but her. The words that I’m about to say are only for her to hear.

  “”I … I need you to promise me something. I need you to promise me that you’ll wait for me. That you’ll be there waiting when the time comes and that we’ll be together again. We’ve gotta be, Alexis, because believing that I’ll see you again someday is the only thing that’s helping me get through each and every goddamn day here without you.”

  I stay with her for a little while longer, in silence, before slowly getting back up onto my feet and stuffing my hands inside my pants pockets, “I’d better get going. Holly’s only in school until lunch today and then we’re gonna head over to see Alyssa and Rye. We’re gonna drop some of Holly’s old things over there for them. They’re … they’re calling him Alex, Alexis. They’re naming their baby son after you. Holly’s real excited. I um … Listen, I … I promise you that I’m doing the best I can for her; for Holly. It’s hard sometimes, trying to be a mommy and a daddy, but I’m gonna make sure that she makes you real proud of her.” I take a couple of steps away. “There will never be anybody else but you. You were my everything and it’s always gonna be you. I’m gonna love you forever, beautiful. I’m gonna love you forever.”

  ***

  Brandon went on to raise Holly in the same home that he and Alexis both shared together before her untimely death. He made a promise to her. He promised Alexis that she was all that he ever needed, and all that he ever wanted. He vowed to never fall in love again; he swore that his heart would only ever belong to her.

  He never broke his word.

  Through his daughter, he was reminded each and every day of the two loves of his life, Holly and Alexis. The two women who tragically lost their lives to the hands of his best friend; his nemesis.

  Over time, he began to accept that the six years he and his beautiful wife shared together was something to be thankful for, that though their time together was cut heartbreakingly short, he understood that he needed to be grateful that their paths had crossed on the night of the college ball, not something that should ever be regretted. He told himself every day that they were both fortunate to have had the chance to experience the love they both shared for each other. Brandon believed that his heart only remained beating through knowing that he would always have and hold the precious memories of what they once had together. He knew that every sacred one would remain close to his heart for the rest of his living days, and he finally accepted that it was better to have had her in his life for even just a short while, than to never have had her in his life at all.

  She was his best friend, his soul mate, the mother of his only child, his lover, the love of his life, his forever.

  ‘Keep the people you love close, and never fail to tell them how you feel, that you love them, cherish them, worship the ground they walk on. Tell them every single day and never take them for granted, because in this life, there are no guarantees that you’ll get another chance.’

  ‘The day I met Alexis, was the beginning of the end.

  And in the end,

  I lost my forever.’

  ~ Brandon Taylor

  The End

  A GIFT FOR MY READERS

  It is an impossibility for me to thank each and every one of my readers personally, so I’ve made the decision to gift you all something special this Christmas time, my way of saying thank you all so very much for your amazing support, encouragement, and patience while you waited so graciously for the delayed releases of the latter few books in The Misjudged Series.

  I’m so overwhelmed that so many of you have grown to love the characters of this series just as much as I have, and I want to be able to give something back to show my appreciation.

  This means that I will be releasing a novella on Christmas Eve, 2014, and it will include some of the characters from The Misjudged Series, though please note that this is not a continuation as such because Mistaken Hope is/was the final book in the series.

  Coming 24th December 2014

  HOLLY

  A Novella

  Much love,

  Sarah Elizabeth

  xXxXx

  UPCOMING RELEASES

  Bliss

  Date to be announced (2014)

  Bliss on Goodreads

  This is a standalone & full length novel (80’000+ words)

  Upping the Ante

  Date to be announced (2014)

  Upping the Ante on Goodreads

  This is a standalone & full length novel (80’000+ words)

  Love @ First Site

  Date to be announced (2015)

  Love @ First Site on Goodreads

  This is a standalone & full length novel (80’000+ words)

  The Lost Summer

  Date to be announced (2015)

  The Lost Summer on Goodreads

  This is a standalone & full length novel (80’000+ words)

  The Prologue for Bliss

  Releasing 2014

  It was five minutes after five in the afternoon and I knew what was about to happen. I crept slowly down the stairs and tried my hardest not to make a sound as the front door slammed closed.

  He was home.

  I peeked through the wooden railing, watched as he removed his black office shoes, and held my breath while I waited for him to make his way through to the kitchen, like he did every time he arrived home from work. The sound of the whiskey bottle being opened could be heard from where I was standing, midway between the ground floor and the first.

  “Kate!” I closed my eyes and my hands began to shake by my sides. I wanted her for once to not answer him. “Kate! Get in here!” He called for her again as he made his way inside his office. It was time to leave. I couldn’t stand being in the house anymore. I didn’t want to see or hear it ever again.

  My mom appeared from the living room and I could see the look in her eyes as she briefly glanced up at me. She was just as afraid as I was. I shook my head and tears began to brim in my eyes when I saw her taking a deep breath. In that moment, I knew that she was preparing herself for what was coming next. She headed straight toward his office, and that’s when I bolted down the stairs and straight through the front door. I ran out the front gate and across the street without even checking for oncoming traffic. I didn’t care. I just wanted to be away from them.

  The front door to my family home was ajar, and I could hear his voice as I slid down the wall opposite, until I was sitting on the ground. It was quieter at first, but when I heard my mom trying to answer him back and make him see reason, that’s when it grew louder. Word for word I could hear the vile accusations he kept taunting her with.

  One time, I’d tried to stop them. I tried to stop him from hurting my mom, but he didn’t. He wouldn’t. Instead, he lashed out at me, too. In fact, it was so bad that I had to stay off school for a whole week until the bruising went away. My mom kept telling me how sorry she was and that it would stop soon, but it never did. I wanted this day to be the last. I prayed that I’d never again have to hear her piercing screams and cries when he did what he did to her. She was a good person, and he used to be, until he started drinking. The alcohol made him paranoid. It made him angry. In the end, it made me hate my own father.

  The sound of glass shattering against the wall was next, and then came her screams. My tears fell harder and faster, and I pulled my knees up so that I could bury my head in my lap. I wanted him to stop. I wanted them to be like the other parents I saw all the time; the ones who were happy. I wanted the three of us to be like that again.
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  “Hey, are you okay?” I heard a voice close to me, but I didn’t look up. I didn’t want to see or hear anything until it was over. “Hey, what’s wrong?” I heard that same voice again, but it was closer the second time, and then I felt a hand resting on my shoulder.

  I lifted my face and saw a boy I didn’t recognize. He had blonde hair and was bending over me. He looked worried. His green eyes were flickering over my face, and when he turned to look across the street, I glanced back to the house and saw my dad shoving my mom out onto the porch, “Stop!” I squeezed my eyes closed and shook my head when I heard my mom pleading with him again. “Richard, please?” He never did this. He never let her outside once he’d started.

  “Hey,” the boy said again, and I began to cry harder. “Hey, it’s going to be okay.” He didn’t sound like he believed a single word that he’d said, but he nodded at me with a smile and wrapped his arms around me until my face was tucked into his chest. I heard my dad mutter something unintelligible, and when I eventually dared to peek through my hands, I saw my mom with a case. She was looking across the street and directly at me. Even from where I was sitting, I could see the blood streaming down her face and she was crying as she waved to me. No. She couldn’t leave. She couldn’t leave me alone with him.

  “Mom?” I got back up on my feet and stepped away from the boy as I called out for her. “Mom!” I cried out again, but she didn’t answer me. I went to cross the street at the same time my father staggered back inside, slamming the door firmly closed behind him. I tried to get to her, but the boy caught a hold of my hand as soon as I went to step out the second time.