by Diana Nixon
She was right. With so much work to do at the magazine and my constant thinking about Cole, I could hardly see anything happening around me, not to mention calling mom several times a day, like I used to do. I felt a little guilty for missing the news from her.
Jazmin and I went to the kitchen that smelled like chicken lasagna.
“Did mom make it?” I opened the stove and took a deep breath. “Uh, smells delicious!”
“She thought we needed to eat well before going to the airport.”
I made a mental note to spend one of the next weekends at home - with my family. I really needed some time with them that would last longer than one dinner.
I took two plates and served the table for Jazmine and myself.
“God, I really miss you doing it for us,” she said, taking a seat.
I smiled. “Can’t say it’s mutual. By the way, you never told me about what’s going on between you and Romeo. Is there anything I should be worried about?”
“No sex, drugs or alcohol, if this is what you are referring to. We are taking things…slow.”
“Slow is good.”
“You sound just like mom. Did you follow the same rule with Cole? Or did you skip slow and switched to fast and hot?”
With my mouth full of lasagna, I mumbled, “Eat your meal, lady. You are too young to talk about fast and hot with me.”
“Am I? Most of my classmates lost their virginity a long time ago.”
“So? It doesn’t mean you need to throw yourself at the first guy you see to show them that you are ‘cool’ too.”
“I’m not throwing myself at anyone. I remember what happened to my big sister…” It was a wrong thing to say.
I put my fork on the table and swallowed hard. “It was a long time ago. And it doesn’t mean the same thing will happen to you as well.”
The story of my first time wasn’t romantic. Well, it was romantic, until it was over the morning I woke up all alone, in a hotel room, with a long bill to pay for the room service lying on my bedside table.
“Craig was a pig,” Jaz said. “And I’m sure he still is. I saw him a few weeks ago.”
“Where?”
“At school. He’s seeing one of our teachers and she’s totally into him. One of my friends said she would gladly date him, too. Though I have no idea why everyone thinks he’s hot. He’s not to me.”
My story with Craig Nelson started when he came to study in our school, many years ago. He looked like a prince from a fairy tale, with a bunch of golden hair and bright blue eyes that looked like the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. He was two years older than me and I knew he would never look my way. That’s why the day he asked me out I felt like I grew a pair wings on my back. I was beyond happy and didn’t see what was hidden behind his sudden desire to get to know me.
And the truth was – he did it for a dare. He made his friends believe he would make me sleep with him in less than a week, and he succeeded. Only he didn’t know he would be my first. By the time he realized what was going on, there was a nasty red spot on a hotel bed sheet, and he couldn’t change a damn thing or take his dare back. He pretended it was nothing, like he expected me to be a virgin. But he got scared. And ran away right after I fell asleep.
This is how my prince charming turned into a bastard.
“Have you ever thought he could be the reason for your failed relationships after him?” Jasmine’s question brought me back to reality.
“What? No, of course not. It wasn’t his fault.” Or maybe it was, but I just couldn’t say it out loud and let everyone see how ruined I was after him, both mentally and physically.
The day the police came to investigate what happened in the hotel – thanks to my father who wanted to punish whoever did this to his girl – there was nothing to tell them, or no one to blame. Because I went to the hotel voluntary, Craig didn’t make me do anything, I wanted it as much as he did, and the only person I could blame for everything was I myself.
Jaz touched my hand and rubbed it slightly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. Bringing this topic up again was a shitty idea. Sorry, Harlee.”
I sighed. “Don’t be. What happens in the past, stays in the past.”
Since that terrible night, I never once went to school proms or let guys take me out. Until a few years later, when the memories of Craig faded and I could breathe freely again, without being scared of letting my dreams crash in front of my eyes because of my stupidity and naivety.
Needless to say, Craig never mentioned to anyone what happened back in the hotel. He said he lost his bet, because that way no one could blame him for what he did. I pretended I didn’t know him at all, which was much easier to do than I expected. It was as if he vanished from my life forever. I never turned my head when he passed by or when I heard him talk to one of his classmates. He was dead to me.
Unlike that dreadful feeling of insecurity that followed me since then.
I learned how to wear a mask of indifference; I learned how to stand up for myself, as well as to never show any man what I really felt. Not that I ever let myself feel things.
Until Cole…
He awoke what had been sleeping in my heart for years. He brought up the vulnerability that I was sure was long dead and forgotten. He made my heart beat for him, as well as my whole life spin around him.
There was nothing I could do to stop it. No matter how scared I was to let things go too far with him…
“I think it’s time to call a taxi,” my sister said, taking my plate away. “Mom told me to text her when we land in L.A.”
“Okay.” Absentminded, I went to the bathroom and splashed some cold water on my face.
Who would have thought that talking about Craig, after all this time, would be so painful?
Or maybe it wasn’t about him, but the fact that there was a man in my life now who I really wanted to trust with all my heart, but just couldn’t let my defense go. And it was all Craig’s fault.
“The car will be here in twenty.” Jaz stood in the doorway with the most troubled expression on her face. “Are you okay, Harlee? I feel like crap for awakening those damn memories in you.”
She didn’t know anything about my story with Craig, until one day she heard mom talk about it. Then she came to me and asked if it was true. There was no point in lying to her. She was old enough to know the truth and I told her everything, because I knew if I didn’t, she would find a way to find out everything on her own. I didn’t want anyone who knew about it to add dirty colors to that story, so it was better to hear it from me.
“Ready for your first flight across the country?”
Jazmine nodded, excited. “I would have flown across the world if needed.”
“What? Are you that crazy about that guy?”
“Maybe. But I don’t want to lie to myself about his feelings for me. I want to be sure what I feel for him is mutual.”
I wrapped one arm around her shoulders and said, “Then I think it’s time to find it out.”
***
I can’t say I missed L.A. so much I couldn’t wait to feel the heat and sweat rolling down my spine again. I had been here just once, on a business trip, and it was a one-day trip so I didn’t have time to see anything but the airport and the office where my scheduled meeting was supposed to take place.
Today, everything was different. I wasn’t here for work and my staying in the city was going to last a whole day longer than my first time here.
Jazmine dragged her enormous suitcase to the taxi and swore under her breath.
“I told you to leave a good part of it at home.”
“Oh, yeah? Why do I never listen to you? Sometimes you give really good advice.”
The driver helped her push her luggage into the trunk and we were ready to go to Cole’s.
“Do you still think it’s a good idea to surprise him?” It was early morning in the city and considering it was Saturday, I knew Cole would most likely be still asleep. De
spite the fact that he was an early riser, he made exceptions for the weekends and let himself stay in bed as long as he wanted.
“Trust me, he’ll be super thrilled to see you earlier than planned.”
I wish I had Jazmine’s assurance. Cole and I were not as close as to pay each other unannounced early morning visits. Well, the first time we met didn’t count. It was an accident that neither he nor I could foresee happening.
“Get in!” Jaz waved for me to get into the car.
She and I took the back seat and the driver pushed the gas pedal, taking us away from the overcrowded airport and into the unknown.
Because this is exactly what this trip felt like to me – the unknown.
I didn’t know what to expect from it, not to mention I was really scared I’d regret it when I returned to New York. I spent a good part of the flight thinking about what this trip really meant to me. And to Cole. As far as I knew, he never let any of his dates into his apartment, as well as I knew that inviting me for the weekend was a huge step ahead.
The driver asked for Cole’s address and I gave it to him.
“You look nervous,” Jazmine said, watching me.
“Because I am nervous.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know where the roots of this nervousness are.”
“You mean you can’t figure out if they are in your heart or in between your legs?”
The driver gave me a curious look through the rear-view mirror.
“Pipe down,” I hissed at Jaz. “For someone who isn’t here for sexual pleasures, you think too much about it.”
“I didn’t say I wasn’t here for it…” She smiled at me.
“You better be joking, or I’ll tell the driver to take you back to the airport.”
“Relax, sis, you can be so boring at times.” She looked out of the window and added, “Enjoy the sun while you can. New York weather can be a real bitch at this time of the year.”
“Tell me again about the place where Romeo’s party will take place?”
“It’s his parents’ house. No one lives there anymore because his family resides in New York.”
“Cole promised to give you a lift, right?”
“Yep.”
“Good. At least I will know where to find you if anything goes wrong. Though I hope I wouldn’t need to go look for you in the middle of the night. Understood?”
“Yes, mommy.”
“And you promise to text me every half an hour.”
“Every hour.”
“If you don’t text me every half an hour, I’ll start calling you. Every five minutes.”
She rolled her eyes. “What if I pass out?”
“Pass out? Like from drinking too much orange juice?”
Another roll of the eyes followed. “Boring, like I said.”
“I agreed to this trip only because you promised to behave, remember?”
“Fine. I’ll be texting you every half an hour. Happy now?”
“I will be. When I see you back at home, safe and sound. I should ask Cole to talk to your Romeo. If he cares about his life, he’d better keep an eye on you and makes sure nothing happens to you while you are with him.”
“Last I checked, Romeo doesn’t trust Cole.”
“Why?”
“He thinks Cole has a crush on me.”
“Now that’s interesting…” Not that I believed it was true, of course.
Jasmine giggled. “Romeo said Cole was too old for me and he was not kidding. He was jealous to see Cole driving me to the party the other night. And since I didn’t go into the details of meeting Cole, he thought Cole had a crush on me, because he doesn’t believe in a friendship between boys and girls, not to mention between a grown-up man and a naïve girl.”
“Doesn’t Romeo know that you have never been naïve?”
She punched my side slightly. “He thinks I’m a good girl and I don’t want to ruin this image.”
“Just don’t tell me the dress that you have prepared for tonight is pink. I will never believe it.”
“Believe it or not, but it’s true. Well, it’s not of a girly-girly pink, it’s deep pink. But still pink.”
“What the hell have you done to my pain-in-the-ass sister?”
“She’s still here, getting ready to wrap herself in a deep pink dress.”
We laughed.
“What about your outfit for tonight?” She asked a few moments later. “Have you prepared anything special for Cole?”
“No.” It was true. Despite everything he expected me to wear tonight, I intentionally packed a few oversized shirts and sweatpants, a pair of shorts and a few T-shirts. If he thought I was here to seduce him or entertain him for the rest of the day and night, he was wrong. I was fully intended to show him that my arrival was all about supporting Jazmine’s plans for the weekend, and not because I couldn’t wait to burn the sheets with Mr. Yummy.
No matter how wrong my body’s reaction to the thought of doing just that was. For the rest of the day and night.
“Thank you,” I said to the driver about an hour later, when he helped Jazmine and me take our luggage from the car. I paid for the ride and checked the address that Cole texted me a few days ago. “We are here,” I said, looking at the ten-story building where Cole’s apartment was. As far as I knew, it took the entire top floor.
“Nice,” Jasmine said, looking around. There were a lot of trees and flowers everywhere. It was as if the street dived in green. I liked it. No wonder Cole’s house I rented was surrounded by so much green.
“How far is the ocean?” My sister asked.
“Have no idea. But Cole said he likes swimming in the ocean. He said he would take us to the beach later today.”
“Too bad we are here for only two days. I already like it here. Maybe I lived in L.A. in my past life.”
“Who knows, right?”
We took our bags and went to the massive glass door that opened to the lobby.
The clerk asked for the number of the apartment we were going and gave us a key to a private elevator that was supposed to take us directly to Cole’s.
“Wow, everything is so stylish here.” Jaz readjusted her jeans, shirt and hair. “I feel like I should be wearing a skirt and a blouse to walk around this building.”
“Cole doesn’t wear blouses or skirts. So there’s nothing to worry about.”
“At least I’ll be wearing a dress when leaving it tonight.”
When the elevator stopped at the top floor, the door opened, and Jazmine and I found ourselves standing in the middle of a long hall with floor-length windows on both ends of it.
There was only one apartment on the floor, so we headed for the door.
With my trembling finger, I pressed the doorbell button, counting every small heartbeat my racing heart made while waiting for Cole to answer the door. I felt like I might faint at any moment.
But to our surprise it wasn’t him we saw when the door finally opened…
***
CHAPTER 14
The blood froze in my veins and for a second, I thought I was seeing things, because I refused to believe what I saw was real.
“Can I help you?” A cute brunette, wearing what looked like one of Cole’s white shirts, switched her questioning gaze between Jazmine and me. An unhidden curiosity glowed in her green eyes.
“Is Cole at home?” My sister asked. I was still too shocked to say a word.
I swear, the stranger’s legs were the longest I had ever seen. I suddenly felt like a hobbit compared to her. A hobbit who had spent almost six hours in a plane, hoping to have the best weekend ever, and then faced the truth of being a bed toy for the man who knew no boundaries when it came to changing dates on a nightly basis.
Fucking great…
“Cole!” The girl shouted, still watching us. “You have guests!” She stepped aside and motioned for us to come in.
But my legs refused to move.
And then I saw Cole walking t
o the door. He was shirtless, with his white shorts hanging dangerously low on his hips.
I wanted to die. Right there and then. And I didn’t care if my lifeless body would ruin their perfect morning.
“Harlee, Jazmine… You are here!” He smiled with the most genuine smile ever.
But not even when I felt his strong arms around me did I feel less shocked from meeting his long-legged guest.
“Come on in.” He took Jazmine’s suitcase as if it were a feather and carried it inside. Then he did the same with my bag. “April, dear, help Jazmine find her room.”
“Sure,” the brunette said and smiled at my sister.
I watched the two of them leave, thinking about why the stranger’s name sounded so familiar.
“You are absolutely stunning when jealous.”
“What?”
Judging by a very self-satisfied smile on Cole’s lips, I was the only person in the room who was missing something important.
“April is my cousin. I told you about her, remember?”
Oh, a cousin.
“Right.” Do I need to say how much better I felt after he cleared this for me?
“And you thought she was my…”
“Housekeeper.”
He burst into laughter. “Of course. Now come on, I’ll show you to your room. Which happens to be mine as well.”
“I thought I would be staying in a guest room.”
“Jazmine took it. And you are staying with me.” He took my hand in his and pulled me to one of the doors on the opposite side of the enormous living room that consisted of several sitting zones, dining room and a kitchen with a long bar stand that also served as a table, with bright red bar stools standing next to it.
The bedroom was also big and full of light. There was a king-size bed in the middle of the room, a desk at one of the windows and a bookcase that took the longest wall of the room.
“Do you like reading in bed?” I asked, ignoring my desire to check if the bed was as comfortable as he described it in one of his messages a few days ago.
