A. N. T. I. D. O. T. E.

by Malorie Blackman

  Think, Elliot! Think!

  I had to work out what the password was – I had to. How about ‘Nosh is nosy’! No, too short! How about ‘Nosh is very nosy’! No. Still too short! Maybe if I … Without warning, the door to Nosh’s bedroom burst open. I’m surprised it didn’t fly off the hinges or at least crash through the wall to fall to the landing on the other side.

  Halle stood in the doorway.

  And was she cheesed off, or what! She had a expression like a constipated elephant and her whole body was poised like a cobra about to strike.

  ‘You maggot-faced little ratbag!’ Completely ignoring me, Halle strode across the room and lifted Nosh bodily out of his bed by his pyjama lapels.

  ‘Dad! DAD!’ Nosh yelled at the top of his voice.

  ‘Julian told me what you said about me, you … you …’ Halle released Nosh suddenly and he fell back against his pillows.

  I moved cautiously back against the headboard of my own bed as I watched, grateful that I didn’t have any older sisters!

  ‘What’s the matter?’ Nosh’s dad called from down the stairs.

  ‘Dad, Halle’s trying to kill me!’ Nosh shouted.

  ‘Halle, leave your brother alone.’ Nosh’s dad ran up the stairs. From the sound of it he was taking them two and three at a time. This was obviously something that had happened before.

  ‘D’you know what he told Julian yesterday?’ Halle turned to her dad as he entered the room, her eyes still blazing. ‘He told Julian that I was trying to find a way to dump him because he had bad breath and BO, but I hadn’t told him yet because I wanted to break it to him gently, without hurting his feelings.’

  Nosh’s dad’s lips twitched.

  ‘It’s not funny, Dad!’ Halle was spitting nails by now.

  ‘No, it’s not. Nosh, why did you tell the poor boy that?’

  ‘He deserved it. He has got bad breath and BO,’ Nosh replied.

  Nosh’s dad moved like lightning to intercept Halle. Nosh, very wisely, cowered back against the wall. ‘Halle, go downstairs and calm down.’

  ‘Yeah, go on. You talk about helping and protecting all creatures? You call yourself green?’ Nosh taunted.

  ‘Not when it comes to you, you little brat! You’re the only exception!’ Halle bit out.

  ‘Halle …’ her dad began.

  ‘Call yourself an ANTIDOTE member? ’Cause I don’t.’

  ‘Harrison!’ Nosh’s dad had that look of ‘here we go again’ written all over his face. Between the two of them he was definitely fighting a losing battle.

  ‘I should tell ANTIDOTE about you. Get them to throw you out,’ Nosh continued.

  ‘ANTIDOTE already know all about you. I told them what a little oik you were when I worked there last summer,’ Halle said with satisfaction.

  ‘I bet they didn’t believe a word.’

  ‘You wanna bet?’

  ‘Halle, please go downstairs. I’ll deal with Nosh,’ her dad begged.

  ‘You’d better. If I get my hands on him …’ Halle threatened. ‘You just tell him to keep away from my boyfriend.’

  ‘Why’d I want to hang around your scabby boyfriend?’ Nosh asked indignantly. ‘I’d rather have my appendix out without an anaesthetic!’

  ‘Dad!’ Halle fumed.

  ‘Nosh, shut up – please!’ Nosh’s dad implored.

  Halle turned to flounce out of the room. Only then did she notice me.

  ‘Elliot, I don’t care if your mum says you are cute – you must be a moron to hang around with my brother!’ Halle said scathingly.

  A flame of shamed embarrassment shot from my head to my toenails and back up again. Now Halle wasn’t the only one who was annoyed!

  Just you wait till I see you next, Mum, I silently fumed. How many people had Mum said that to? I’d never be able to show my face in our street again!

  As Halle marched out of the room, Nosh’s dad sighed. ‘Nosh, why d’you keep teasing your sister? You know she always rises to the bait, so where’s the fun in it?’

  ‘I can’t help it, Dad,’ said Nosh. ‘Halle shouldn’t keep picking such dreggy boyfriends, then I’d have nothing to tease her about. And this latest one … He’s the dregs of the dregs!’

  ‘Was it absolutely necessary to tell him that?’ Nosh’s dad asked patiently.

  ‘You wouldn’t want me to lie about it, would you?’

  ‘No … but that doesn’t mean you have to volunteer the information either. Just try to be a bit more tactful in future – in the cause of household harmony and my blood pressure, OK?’

  ‘OK, Dad!’ Nosh grinned.

  Nosh’s dad turned to me. ‘Are you all right, Elliot? Is there anything I can get you?’

  ‘No, I’m fine thanks,’ I replied.

  What a lie. I was far from fine. Mum was missing. Uncle Robert was locked up. And watching Nosh and his dad had made me … not exactly sad, but kind of wistful. Lots of people say that you can’t miss what you’ve never had – but it’s not true. I never really knew my dad. He went to live in Canada when I was less than three years old and I hadn’t seen him since. I always thought of him as a tall, shadowy figure whose face I could never quite remember. I’ve seen photos of course, but it was hard to equate the man in the photos to a real, living, breathing person. At Christmas and on my birthdays he used to phone me. He had a great, deep booming voice like an actor. I remember his voice more than his face and even that I haven’t heard in years. He and Mum had a huge, heated quarrel over the phone the last time he called on my birthday. It was all my fault really. When I handed the phone back to Mum, I was in tears. I couldn’t understand why he never came to visit me, or why we couldn’t go over to Canada to see him. Every time Dad phoned, he promised that next time … next time he’d be wishing me Happy Birthday or Merry Christmas in person – but it never happened. I guess Mum must’ve had enough the last time Dad phoned. She told him that the next time he spoke to me, it’d better be as he promised – in person. That was over two years ago. I hadn’t heard from my dad since she’d said that. My dad … It’s not that I wanted Nosh’s dad to be my father. It’s just that I sometimes thought how wonderful it would be to have a dad of my own. A dad who was here – especially now.

  As Nosh’s dad left the room, I buried my feelings before I turned to Nosh.

  ‘I thought you were a goner for sure when Halle leapt across the room at you,’ I told him.

  ‘You’re not the only one,’ Nosh replied dryly.

  ‘And just when did Halle pick up that thing about me being cute?’ I remembered, anger flaring through me again.

  ‘Oh, that. It’s a joke between your mum and my mum. My mum happened to pass it on, that’s all,’ said Nosh.

  ‘That was good of her,’ I said with disgust.

  ‘You know what mothers are like,’ Nosh shrugged.

  ‘Yeah, but your mum doesn’t go round showing you up,’ I pointed out.

  ‘Yes, she does. She just doesn’t tell everyone I’m cute, that’s all,’ Nosh grinned.

  I could see I wasn’t going to get much sympathy from him so I turned back to Mum’s phone. I was going to crack this password if it killed me.

  An hour later, my eyes felt like they were full of sand and my head kept nodding forwards.

  ‘Elliot, I’ve just thought of something.’ Nosh suddenly lifted his head from his comic. ‘According to Halle, ANTIDOTE are holding a protest against Shelby’s tomorrow afternoon. Why don’t we go and see if we can get to speak to one of the ANTIDOTE bosses? They might know something about your mum and uncle.’

  ‘But I’m going to meet up with Mum tomorrow morning – remember? She’ll tell me what’s going on.’

  ‘What if …?’ Nosh began.

  ‘What?’ I prompted when he didn’t continue.

  ‘Nothing.’ Nosh shook his head.

  I narrowed my eyes suspiciously but he didn’t say another word. With a shrug, I returned to Mum’s phone. Frustrated, I turned it off and buried it und
er my pillow. I snuggled down and decided to sleep on the problem!

  ‘Hurry up and switch off the light, Nosh,’ I said sleepily. ‘And good night, Mum – wherever you are.’

  The last bit I mouthed silently. It wasn’t that I was embarrassed about Nosh hearing me particularly. I just wanted to keep it to myself. As if that way, Mum would sense it or feel it more. ‘Take care, Mum,’ I whispered again – just to make sure.

  Wherever she was, whatever she was doing, I hoped that somehow she knew that I was thinking of her.

  Saturday

  Chapter Seven

  Wipe-out

  THE MOMENT I woke up, I knew it was going to be a good day. I could feel it. The sun was already shining bright and warm through my window and the moment my eyes were open, I felt wide awake and alive with the feeling that things were going to happen today. Smells of bacon and toast wafted up from downstairs. Another reason to get up! I sprang out of bed, only slowing down slightly when I saw that Nosh was still fast asleep. I dug out my watch which was under my pillow next to Mum’s phone. Eight-thirty. I had forty-five minutes before Mum was going to call. Today this whole business would get sorted out once and for all, and Mum would come home. I felt as if just by thinking it, I could make it happen. The power of positive thinking! Mum would come home and I might even crack her password – just for good measure.

  I crept out of the room, deciding to have a shower before doing anything else. After that, I got dressed, then had another crack at Mum’s password before going down for my breakfast – and Nosh was still asleep!

  When Nosh’s mum saw me, she said, ‘You and Nosh are alike in a lot of things – but not when it comes to getting up in the mornings! I have to scream at him until I’m green, then blue, then purple in the face before he shifts!’

  ‘Nosh and me are alike?’ I said, surprised. ‘In what way?’

  ‘Just a minute.’ Nosh’s mum went out into the hall and yelled at the top of her lungs. ‘Nosh, out the bed now or you can make your own breakfast.’ Then she came back into the room.

  I sat down at the breakfast table waiting for her to explain. I didn’t think Nosh and I were alike at all. In fact, sometimes it surprised me just how well we got on considering that we had so little in common.

  ‘You and Nosh think about things in a similar way. And you both tend to let things get on top of you and then think there’s not an awful lot you can do about it. You both give up far too easily.’

  I could feel myself getting hotter with every word she spoke. What a load of rubbish!

  ‘That’s not true. I don’t give up on things …’

  ‘I’m not talking about things. I’m talking about giving up on yourself. Your mum says …’

  ‘What does my mum say?’ I prompted icily when Nosh’s mum trailed off.

  ‘Never mind.’ Nosh’s mum shook her head. ‘It was tactless of me to bring up the subject now. I’m sure you’ve got a lot of other things on your mind. Don’t worry about your mum, Elliot. She’s just the person to straighten this whole mess out.’

  It’s amazing how rapidly you can go off some people. Until that moment, I’d always quite liked Nosh’s mum. Now she’d plummeted like a lead balloon in my estimation. I glared at her, wondering just what she and Mum had said about me and Nosh.

  ‘Now don’t get your boxer shorts in a bunch!’ Nosh’s mum laughed. ‘You look like you’re about ready to pounce down my throat.’

  I smiled reluctantly, then not so reluctantly when she put a plate of toast, scrambled eggs and bacon in front of me and a huge glass of orange juice.

  Nosh didn’t put in an appearance until I’d finished my breakfast and my second glass of orange juice. He was in the middle of the longest yawn I’d ever seen. I glanced down at my watch. Ten past nine. I stood up and moved past him.

  ‘See ya, Nosh. I’m popping home for a while,’ I told him.

  ‘Why?’ Nosh frowned.

  ‘I’ve got a phone call to … make – remember,’ I told him pointedly.

  ‘Oh, yeah!’ Nosh’s eyes opened wide. ‘I forgot about that. Hang on a minute. I’ll come with you.’

  ‘You can’t. You’re still in your pyjamas.’

  ‘It’ll only take me a minute to change,’ Nosh replied.

  ‘Not until you’ve had a shower, Harrison,’ his mum said firmly. ‘And Elliot, if you want to make a phone call, you can make it from here. You don’t have to go to your house to do it.’

  ‘No, I’d rather. I mean, I want to. I mean …’ I began to get embarrassed, wondering if I was giving the game away.

  ‘Ah!’ Nosh’s mum nodded with grown-up under-standing. ‘Are you going to phone your girlfriend?’

  ‘What girlfriend?’ I frowned.

  ‘Don’t come over all coy with me.’ Nosh’s mum wagged her finger. ‘I’m sure a cute boy like you has a girlfriend for every day of the week.’

  If I heard that word – cute! – one more time …

  ‘I’ll be back soon,’ I told Nosh’s mum firmly. And I walked out of the kitchen.

  I could hear her laughing behind me. That made me walk faster. By the time I was at the front gate I was running to get to my own house. Cute! I really really hated that word. I walked up our garden path, still arguing with myself as to whether or not I should shout down the phone at Mum after she’d explained about this Shelby business. I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts that my front door key was in my hand and my hand was reaching out towards the door before I realized something.

  Our front door was slightly ajar.

  I stared at it, my hand frozen centimetres away from the lock. I pushed it open and ran in.

  ‘Mum? Mum, it’s me! MUM!’

  I dashed into the living room and stopped abruptly. It was as if I’d been kicked in the stomach by a mule. There was no sound but a strange thud-thudding in my ears as I stared around. Then I realized what that strange noise was. It was my blood, roaring like thunder through my body. The living room was in chaos.

  We’d been burgled.

  The DVD player was gone, the telly lay on its side and the whole room had been trashed. The sofa and armchair cushions were littered over the floor. All our CDs and DVDs were strewn across the carpet like a whirlwind had entered the room. The bookcase had been tipped over and all the books lay in haphazard heaps beneath it. Like a zombie I wandered from the room.

  My throat felt as if it was being strangled from the inside out and my eyes began to burn with stinging tears which I couldn’t stop running down my cheeks. The kitchen looked relatively untouched although the fridge door was wide open and the fridge motor was whirring loudly in protest. The recharger for my mobile still sat on the kitchen table – but my phone was gone.

  So much for waking up and feeling it was going to be a brilliant day, I thought bitterly.

  We’d been burgled. When had it happened? When had they arrived? How had the thieves known that the house was empty? Why now? Why us? I felt sick. I wiped the back of my hand across my eyes but I couldn’t stop my eyes from leaking – which made me feel worse. I hadn’t cried when the police had arrived saying they wanted to arrest Mum, so why cry now?

  I went out into the hall and looked up the stairs. What was waiting for me up there? Had they taken the mini hi-fi Mum bought me for my last birthday? But then I remembered the most important thing of all – Mum’s computer … I didn’t so much run as leap up the stairs.

  Please don’t let them have taken it – please …

  I raced into the back bedroom. It was still there. I couldn’t believe it. I would’ve thought Mum’s computer was the first thing the thieves would’ve taken. It had definitely been moved – the monitor was on the floor, the processor was by the door with the printer and scanner sitting on top of it. It was as if the thieves had planned to take it but they’d been interrupted before they could get very far. All the cables and wires were disconnected but it was still there. I lifted up the printer to put it back on the table before it occurred t
o me that maybe I shouldn’t. I didn’t want to smudge the burglars’ fingerprints. I put it back down on the monitor and went to see what exactly had been taken from the other rooms.

  The bathroom was untouched. In my bedroom, all my things had been moved, my books and CDs were scattered across the floor, they’d even tipped my mattress off the base of my bed, but nothing seemed to be missing and it was the same story in Mum’s bedroom – as far as I could see. Were our DVD player and my mobile really the only things that had been taken? The thieves had to have been interrupted, there was no other explanation. But then, they seemed to have had time to turn the place into a tip … I didn’t understand why they hadn’t taken lots of portable things – like my mini hi-fi, or the hi-fi downstairs or the expensive digital camera in Mum’s bedroom. OK, so Mum’s computer with all its gear was too heavy and cumbersome to shift but there was plenty of other stuff in the house worth taking. Not that I was complaining or anything, but it was bizarre. I ran downstairs to phone the police. It was only when I got to the phone that I remembered something else. Mum. I looked down at my watch. Nine-twenty-five. Mum said she’d phone at nine-fifteen and she was a stickler for things like that.

  Was she all right? Had something happened?

  I closed my eyes and clenched my fists against all the feelings threatening to overwhelm me. It was as if I was at the bottom of the sea, desperately swimming upwards, but no matter how hard I kicked I never got to the surface. What next, for goodness’ sake? What next?

  ‘Emergency. Which service do you require?’

  ‘We’ve been burgled,’ I told the anonymous voice at the other end of the phone.

  ‘I’ll connect you through to the police,’ the woman’s voice told me.

  Moments later I was explaining what had happened to the policeman who answered. He started off by asking my name and address, then my age.