When I'm Gone

by Abbi Glines

  “I’m trying to be good, baby. But looking at you makes it hard,” I admitted.

  “Oh,” she said softly. Almost a whisper. Then her eyes dropped to my lap, and she sucked in a breath.

  There was no hiding the fact I was hard as a rock. I hadn’t dealt with this kind of shit since high school. I didn’t get boners anymore unless I was about to get some. One look at Reese, though, and my cock stood at attention.

  “It looks like it’s tight in there,” she said, still whispering as if someone other than me could hear her.

  “It is.”

  She took another quick breath, then reached down to touch my leg. I was real close to begging her to touch me. My brain was losing blood by the second, and it was all headed south. “Will you take it out and let me . . . I mean, can I touch it?”

  Hell, yes!

  My hands shot to my fly and got it undone in record time, then I tugged my jeans down my hips enough so that my cock sprang free. She was watching me so intently I swear I was about to explode from her just looking at it.

  Her fingertips slowly traced the hard ridge through my briefs. I hadn’t pulled those down. I wasn’t sure she was ready to actually see it.

  “Can you take it out?” she asked, her eyes looking up at me, then dropping back to my lap.

  This girl was asking me like I would tell her no. My dick had decided more than a month ago that it only wanted to perform for her. She owned it as much as she owned me.

  I paused and watched her face to make sure she was ready for this before pulling my briefs back and letting her see what it was she was asking for. I really did not want her jumping up and running off to splash water on her face from the sight of my cock. The idea of scaring her this way would wreck me.

  Her hand moved as if in slow motion until one finger-tip ran down the hard swollen head and the veins along the length. I couldn’t breathe. Oxygen refused to go into my lungs. “Tell me how to touch it,” she said, running a finger back up toward the head.

  She wanted me to fucking talk now? “Wrap—” I said, then gasped in some air. “Wrap your hand around it, and slide it up and down.”

  She did exactly as I said, and stars filled my vision. I had to blink several times to clear it. I stared down at her small hand around my dick, and I leaked fucking precome. She paused. Her eyes lifted to mine.

  “You like this?” she asked, her breathing heavy. This was exciting her. Fuck, her nipples were hard and poking through that thin top.

  “You have no idea,” I replied tightly.

  She tightened her grasp when she slid up, and her eyes widened as the clear fluid appeared at the tip.

  “Fuuuck,” I groaned, and laid my head back on the sofa. I was in some form of nirvana, and I didn’t want to come out of it.

  “Too tight?” she asked, innocently.

  “God, baby, no. So good,” I panted.

  Her grip stayed tight, and she began moving up and down my dick with more vigor. My mouth fell open once, and I grabbed the arm of the sofa to hold on.

  “Was that come, or will you . . . come more?” she asked as the precome coated my dick under her grasp. She hadn’t recoiled, but instead, she’d used it for lubrication.

  “You keep this up, and I’m going to . . . explode.”

  The little minx grinned. She was enjoying herself. Fuck me, but that was almost too much. I wanted to hold back and enjoy this longer. I wasn’t going to scare the hell out of her and come all over her hand. But making her let go so I could finish under my own hand didn’t sound appealing.

  I turned my head to look at her, and that was the mistake. She had her bottom lip pulled between her teeth, and with each move of her hand, her tits bounced. I was done.

  “I’m gonna come,” I said, taking her hand off me.

  “Wait, no,” she said, reaching for me again.

  “Baby, I’m gonna—”

  The upward tug and the smell of her hit me at once. I cried out her name as I did exactly as I’d warned her. She kept moving her hand on me, and I kept on fucking coming. Falling back against the sofa, I think I might have whimpered. I wasn’t sure anymore. My brain was fuzzy, and my body was humming with a pleasure so intense I wasn’t sure I’d walk again.

  Then her hand stopped moving, and I sucked in a deep breath.

  “Holy shit, that was . . . incredible,” I said, staring down at her small hand covered in my release.

  Just the sight of it had my dick stirring to life again. Dammit, she was turning me into an animal. I’d just had the best orgasm of my life from her hand.

  “Let me clean you up,” I said, tugging up my underwear and standing to pull my jeans up on my hips. “I’ll get a wash-cloth.” I started, but she stood up, smiling.

  “I’ll go wash it off,” she assured me. Then she shoved me back down. “You seem like you need a moment.”

  My girl had jokes. I laughed, and she threw a glance back and winked at me. She motherfucking winked at me.

  Reese

  I washed my hands under the warm water and looked at the silly smile on my face. I had done that. I had made Mase groan and cry out and even grab the sofa like his life depended on it until he got off. Me. I did it. And not one time had I gone to that dark place. I had been all wrapped up in watching Mase and knowing I was the one giving him that pleasure. It was a high. I had gotten some crazy high from it.

  Then the way he’d looked at me, in awe, like I was some wonderful gift. He always made me feel special, but in that moment, I felt like a goddess. His goddess.

  “You are entirely too pleased with yourself,” his deep voice said, and I watched through the mirror as he walked up behind me. He had a lazy, satisfied grin on his face, and I had put it there. I was pleased with myself.

  “I am,” I admitted.

  He pulled my hair back away from my neck and pressed a kiss there. “Mmm-hmm, it’s cute and sexy,” he said in a whisper. “But it’s also fucking hot.”

  I felt goose bumps cover my skin when his tongue darted out and licked my neck. “I just have one small problem with it,” he said, then nipped at my ear.

  “Yeah?”

  His hand pressed against my stomach and pulled me back against him. “Yeah. I do. You got to see me come all over your hand. Now I want to see you come all over mine,” he said, as his fingers teased the waistline of my shorts.

  We had tried that before. I’d panicked. I didn’t want to mess this morning up. “What if I’m not ready?” I asked, unable to deny how the way his fingertips slipped into the top of my bottoms made me tremble with excitement.

  He paused a moment, and then his mouth trailed kisses back down my neck and across my shoulder. “I thought about that. I’ve been thinking about it. I need to keep you with me when I touch you. So I want to try it again, but I won’t stop talking to you. I will reassure you the whole time and make sure you know it’s me. Can we try?”

  My breasts were aching, but the space between my legs felt like it was on fire. I wanted this. My body wanted it. And I loved Mase. He wanted this. “OK,” I replied.

  “Thank fuck,” he growled. He picked me up like a child and carried me to the bed and lay down beside me. “You smell so good. When I’m back home, I lie in my bed at night, and I can smell a hint of you. It teases me. I want you there. With me,” he whispered in my ear, as he slowly began easing his hand inside my shorts. I didn’t have on panties underneath, and he was about to find that out.

  When he slid down far enough to realize it, he stopped. “Baby, you aren’t wearing panties,” he said in a deep voice.

  I turned my head so I could see him.

  His eyes looked much like they did when I was touching him. This excited him that much. The wetness between my legs got worse, and I was embarrassed for him to discover how turned-on I was.

  “Open your legs. Please, for me. Let me touch you. I want to see you come for me. Feel your wetness on my hand. Can you give me that, Reese? I want it so bad.”

  I swa
llowed nervously. “I’m wet now,” I said, feeling mortified at even having to say it.

  His eyes flashed something so intense it made my heart skip a beat. His fingers slid down over my mound and into the folds below. The needy ache I’d had down there all morning was now a throb, and I had to grab his arm to keep from shooting off the bed.

  “Oh, fuck,” he said in a low groan, and he buried his head in my neck. “Sweetest pussy in the world is soaking wet for me.”

  He was happy about it. I would have breathed a sigh of relief, but his fingers began to move, and all I could do was make noises and hold on to his arm and a fistful of the sheet.

  “That’s all me. My hand between your legs. My fingers touching your little pussy. Me, baby. Me. It’s all mine. I’ll always take care of you. Nothing or no one will hurt you.” His voice was low and at my ear. I was shivering and clinging to him.

  He wanted to keep me in the moment with him, and he was doing a wonderful job. I wasn’t sure I could be anywhere else.

  “When you’re ready, I’m going to put my mouth right here,” he said, as he ran his finger over my most sensitive spot. “I’m going to lick this button until you scream and claw at my back while you come on my face. You’ll love it. I swear you will. You will hold my head there and beg me not to stop. Because it will be me.”

  The building feeling inside of me was growing, and I knew what this was. I’d once brought myself to release before things . . . happened. I had played fantasies in my head with boys at school while in bed at night. But this was something stronger. It was similar, but it was bigger. I wanted it. I wanted it with Mase.

  “That’s it, baby. Let me have your pleasure. Give it to me. I want to see you fall apart for me. I want to see my girl feel good in my arms. You’re so beautiful.”

  With those words, I broke apart, screaming his name as my body shook and he held me tight. His hand stayed on me, cupping me and riding through the waves of ecstasy with me. I was chanting his name. I heard it in the distance.

  He was calling me baby and telling me I was incredible.

  I didn’t want to come back. This trip was one I could live on.

  But eventually, it eased, and I slowly descended back to earth. Mase’s arms were still around me, holding me close, and his hand remained on me. His breathing was hard, and his eyes were dark and heated as he stared down at me. “God, you’re gorgeous,” he breathed, as I blinked and finally focused on him.

  I couldn’t talk just yet. That hadn’t been at all what I’d experienced in my bed when I was younger. My fingers did not make me do that. Was that even healthy? It was so good it had to be dangerous. And I wanted to do it again. Now.

  “I don’t want to move my hand. It’s coated with you, and I want to keep it that way,” he said, moving his head to press a kiss to my nose. “That was the most erotic thing I’ve ever seen. I swear to God, you’ve got me so wrapped around you I can’t see straight. I’d stay in this bed and make you come over and over if you’d let me.”

  I would let him. I was liking that idea. A lot.

  Mase

  I could die a happy man. I felt sorry for the other men in the world, because they’d never know what Reese looked like when she came. I did. She was mine. The urge to pound on my chest was strong. I fought it off. But God, I wanted to.

  Reese came out of the bedroom dressed in blue jeans shorts and a pale yellow blouse that tied at the waist. She looked young and fresh. I wanted to take her back to bed and sink into all of it. Watch her get naughty and ride my hand like her life depended on it.

  But she’d given me enough today. I wasn’t pushing her again. Not when we’d been so successful this morning. My talking to her and keeping her with me the whole time had not only worked, but it had excited her more. The more I talked, the more turned-on she got.

  It was enough for now.

  “When do you have to leave?” she asked, breaking into my thoughts and reminding me that I had to leave her.

  “I wanted to talk to you about that,” I said, wondering how to ask her to move in with me several states away. It sounded a little crazy, but honestly, I didn’t care. She was my one.

  Her brow puckered up, and she tilted her head as if waiting for me.

  “I want you to move to . . . Texas . . . with me . . . into . . . my house.”

  That hadn’t been smooth at all.

  The way her jaw dropped open and her eyes turned into saucers proved I had gone about this all wrong. Shit.

  “Wh-what?” she sputtered.

  I ran my hands over my face and bit back a growl of frustration. She made me just say shit. I got so worked up around her I couldn’t think straight. I just blurted things out. I had never wanted anything as badly as I wanted this woman in my bed every night for the rest of my life.

  “You don’t have a job except for your gig at Harlow’s, and you don’t have family here. There’s no reason to stay. I can get another reading teacher to work with you in Fort Worth. That would be the only thing holding you here. I want you with me, Reese. I hate not having you close.”

  Those expressive eyes of hers gave her away. She liked the idea, but it also scared her. We were new. Our friendship was almost two months old now, but as a couple, we were new.

  “You want me there . . . with you,” she said, sounding like she was lost in a daze.

  “Yes,” I replied firmly.

  She fisted a section of her hair and looked around the room nervously. Then she began walking back and forth in a little circle. Almost as if she was pacing.

  I waited. She was thinking, and I wanted her to think about this hard. Then I wanted her to say yes and pack her bags.

  “You don’t . . . there’s so much. I need time. We need time. I’m settled here, and I do have friends. I have Jimmy. I have a place that is mine. You can’t . . . we can’t just move in together like this. I hate when you leave, too, but . . . but Mase.” She stopped walking and dropped her hands to her sides as if she was carrying the world on her shoulders. “There is so much you don’t know. And I’m not ready to tell you. So much that is inside me. It’s dark, and it’s . . . not a place I want to take you. But I need time. We need time. Like this. When you come into town, we can spend time together. And our nightly talks and my reading to you. And I like Dr. Munroe. He’s helping me, and I’m comfortable with him. I can’t just go with you because I want to be near you.”

  Arguing with her was my knee-jerk reaction. I was good at debate. I could come up with a reason that all that didn’t matter.

  What stopped me was the pleading look in her eyes. She didn’t want me to argue. She wanted me to let this go.

  I would. For her. For now.

  “OK. Then know that when you’re ready, I will be, too,” I finally said.

  She let out a heavy sigh, then smiled weakly at me. “Thank you for wanting me.”

  Words I would take back to Texas with me, that I would carry like an ache in my chest every time I thought of them.

  My girl should never have to thank anyone for wanting her. Somewhere in her mind, she thought she wasn’t worthy That was what hurt the most.

  Standing at her door after taking her to lunch and kissing her for more than an hour, I knew I had to leave her. Again. My world back home was calling. I had to go handle the ranch and the life I’d made for myself.

  I held her tightly one more time and whispered in her ear. “Be safe. Take care of yourself. And miss me when I’m gone.”

  Reese

  I took the spoon Jimmy handed me and dove into the caramel swirl ice cream with a vengeance. I needed depression food. I’d been in the dumps since Mase had left that morning. I could have gone with him. He’d asked me to.

  If I had said yes, I would have lost him much sooner. He hadn’t been with me long enough to really know me. He’d only gotten small doses of me. What about when the memories leaked through and I stood under the hot water of the shower screaming and scrubbing myself? He hadn’t seen that. He wo
uld think I was crazy. Because I was sure I was.

  Sometimes the past broke through, and when it did, I went a little crazy.

  I kept all that from him. He knew what was on the surface, and not even all of that. He knew just enough. My past had marked me.

  It had ruined my ability to be close to anyone.

  Except Mase. I was letting him in. Today proved just how much.

  “You wanna talk about it? Or just eat it out?” Jimmy asked with a pinched frown.

  “Don’t want to talk about it,” I replied, and stuffed my mouth full of ice cream.

  “The man came from Texas on a Tuesday night to get your money back from the wicked witch and make sure you were OK before heading back home the next day to work. Seems to me like you should be all smiles and giggles. Not pissy and trying to eat your way through this whole pint of ice cream.”

  I wasn’t telling Jimmy. If I did, I’d have to tell him more, and I wasn’t letting my past in. Not tonight. “I just hate it when he leaves,” I said instead.

  “Mmm-hmm, girl, so does the rest of the world. He’s something to look at,” Jimmy agreed.

  That got a laugh out of me that died almost instantly. The girls in Fort Worth didn’t have to see him leave. He was there. With them. They could see him and talk to him. He didn’t have to fly over state borders to fix their problems.

  “Wherever your head just went, bring it back, please,” Jimmy said, pointing his spoon at me. “The man flew his ass over here for you last night. He ain’t giving anyone else nothing. Hell, I doubt he even smiles in Texas. He’s smiling too much for you. He’s gotta rest his sexy mouth sometime.”

  I laughed. Loudly.

  Jimmy sat back and smirked. He was pleased with himself.

  The sound of my phone ringing had him standing up and saluting me. “That’s your piece of hot Texas ass now. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  I glanced down at the phone, expecting to see cowboy boots, but it was an unknown caller. I didn’t let Jimmy know.