She shrugged and took a small bite, thinking through what he said. She completely forgot about their psychic connection. She didn’t realize she was about to repeat herself to him. “I thought maybe I would be a priestess or something. I always wondered if there was a reason the dragons, or you, I guess, followed me around so much. I was just wondering.”
“That’s when I knew I loved you,” he whispered. She barely heard him say it.
“You honestly think that?”
“Yeah, I do.” His solemn stare was enough to convince her that he believed every word he said.
Tai chewed on her lower lip for a moment, and spoke before her mind could do it for her. “I think you’re a little delusional, Darien. We don’t know each other.” How could he honestly think this was true love and destiny? He nodded at her slowly, every second slouching more in his seat as if he were trying to hide from her. “I think you have a lot to learn about how to make a girl love you, and one of them isn’t marrying her and, and, well, you know, the first night you meet her.”
“I only went through with it because you wanted me to,” he explained. “And don’t even start with the whole, ‘you didn’t know what was going on’ thing. The spell I used on you doesn’t cloud or disrupt your judgment. It frees your mind so you can really...listen...to....” He trailed off and sighed, digging into his food more. It was obvious he was forcing himself to swallow it. He was only using it as an easy escape from talking. He must have known she wasn’t buying it from the glare she gave him. “Don’t worry about it. I don’t expect you to feel the same way yet. But you will. And I’ll prove to you that I’m not delusional. And what happened was what you asked for. Literally. I know you wanted last night to happen.”
On the one hand, she was furious over the whole thing. She was taken from home, against her will, forced into a marriage to a guy she’d never met before, and barely remembered consummating it. If she hadn’t felt so sore still, she probably would have blown it off as a dream entirely. A sweet dream, but a dream all the same. Yet there was something endearing about Darien, and every time she looked back at on the night she found herself having a small piece of fondness.
It had been sweet, romantic, and everything she had always wanted. She could even feel some of the love he claimed to have for her. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but every time she wanted to scream at him over the situation, she found herself giving him a more subdued piece of her mind.
So far he at least attempted to be respectful of her, and he didn’t question why she was so angry. His thoughts suggested he didn’t understand her feelings, but he had yet to tell her she was wrong for feeling them. Any guy from back home would have told her to shut up and deal with it by now – end of discussion, but not Darien. Even if she wanted to turn him away, it felt wrong. She didn’t understand why.
“I think someone is in denial,” he mumbled and quickly finished eating. He picked up his plate and looked down at her. His blue eyes stared right into hers, his brow furrowed. “I’d rather you yell at me. That was one of the things I liked most about you. So go ahead and tell me what you’re really thinking instead of walking around on these eggshells. I get enough of that from my family. Go ahead, call me a kidnapping psychopath. I can hear your thoughts, remember?”
“I at least gave you the courtesy of making your thoughts white noise,” she snapped at him. “You could do the same for me. I don’t want you hearing everything I’m thinking.”
“I don’t like you hearing everything I’m thinking, either. Maybe you should try not thinking so much.”
“So I can be a slave, too? A mindless puppet for you to play with?”
He put his plate aside and clapped his hands together mockingly. “There we go. We’ve got some anger now!”
“You really are sick! Do you know that?”
He laughed. He genuinely appeared to be amused. Which only made her even angrier.
“What is so funny?”
“You look kind of like a Muppet when you get mad,” he commented with a snicker and then left the room before she could say another word.
Tai clenched her fists at her side, trying to think of something to say back to him, anything, but she was drained. She was so angry, and while she was angry she felt a strange sort of tingle. She liked the fighting? What’s going on? This doesn’t feel right.
What’s wrong? Darien popped in immediately with concern. She wasn’t expecting him to care after everything she’d said to him. It was a complete change of heart.
None of your beeswax.
It is my business. I love you. What’s wrong? He thought. She could hear him cleaning the room. She risked a glance over at him, and his face turned towards hers and she once more saw those beautiful, sparkling eyes. They read with so much devotion and adoration, desperation even. Come on throw me a bone here. Let me try. All I want is a chance.
She put her hands in her hair and grunted in frustration. She didn’t want his love, and she definitely didn’t need it. He may have chosen her, but he’d change his mind and drop her. You loving me. Stop it.
Chapter Eleven
“I can’t believe you’re going,” Tai protested as Darien began to wheel out his bag of luggage for the two weeks he’d be gone. “I mean, you kidnap me from home, marry me, do ... things with me, and now you’re leaving me here with strangers that I feel less comfortable around than you? Just when I thought I’d start giving you a chance.”
“You can still give me a chance when I get back,” he shot at her. “Glad to know you’re going to miss me though. Don’t worry, I’ll be back to keep my side of the bed warm soon.”
“I knew you’d let it go to your head.” She rubbed her forehead as a deep frown formed on her face. “That kind of attitude will put you back on the couch.”
He bit his lip, shutting up immediately. The one night she allowed him to lie next to her made it worth biting his tongue. It’d been four long days of him trying to give her as much space as possible so she could cope with her feelings better. For four days he’d done nothing but do his best to please her, and for four days all she did was try and push him further away. He just didn’t get it. He’d seen enough movies to know that most women would give anything for a man who respected them and was so attentive to their needs. Why wasn’t Tai? She was so determined to be on her own. What was he doing wrong? When he gave her the space she wanted, she got mad at him for ditching her. When he gave her his company, she complained about him knowing nothing about her. When he tried to get to know her better, she completely stonewalled on him and hardly said a word.
He put up with it for four days, and finally last night she had invited him to sleep next to her in the bed. Something about her wanting to get used to it? He didn’t understand her thinking, but he would take every little bit he could get. He finally made progress, and now he was back at the first step all over again.
“I know it sucks.” He said and put his hands in his pockets. “I don’t want to leave, but I didn’t get much say in the matter. My dad’s making me go. It’s some kind of stupid political thing. I know you understand politics. You’re smart; you pick up on this stuff all the time. My dad is an important figure for my people. I guess you could say he’s the head honcho or whatever, and because he’s in charge of all of my kind, I’m expected to follow in his footsteps.”
She stared at him, not quite sure what to think. Her brow furrowed slightly and then she shook her head. “You should have planned this better. It’s not right. I wanted to be able to talk to you more so we can at least come to some kind of civil terms. I can’t get away from you, and I’m growing tired of feeling so alone here. I thought if we could get along, it’d be less frustrating. I feel like I can’t win.”
I can’t win either. He thought. “I didn’t plan on any of this.” Darien said. “I’m being forced. Trust me, I’d rather stay here and fight with you all day than go there.” He shook his head and rolled his eyes slightly. “Instead, you can continue
to hate me for another two weeks or so and we can work on the civil thing whenever I get back.”
“I don’t hate you,” Tai said quietly. He barely heard her say it, but he couldn’t ignore it.
“What was that?” He smirked.
“Nothing,” Tai folded her arms in front of her and raised an eyebrow. “What if I’m not here in two weeks for you to be civil with?”
Darien stopped immediately and turned to her. “Look, I know you want to go home and pretend none of this ever happened. I get it. You miss your mom, your family, everything about your life before, but it’s dangerous for you to just leave. The city is a lot different than your home island. Don’t try it. If you leave, I’ll find you. I’ll know.”
“Then stay.”
“That’s not fair!”
“And what you did to me is?”
Touché. He sighed deeply. “I’ll make it up to you when I come home somehow. I’ll do whatever you want me to.”
“You act like I can’t take care of myself.” she said as she sat down on the bed.
She was beginning to become more accustomed to the room. Little by little she was staking her claim on the various objects in it. The bed was one of them. He definitely was irritated by the fact that she purposefully stole all of the covers for her to use. Up until last night, all he had was a thin and small blanket, which forced him to sleep in more clothes than he was normally comfortable. It was strange, sharing a bed with her. He was paranoid of doing something like accidentally touching her and having her kick him back to the couch again. Thankfully the bed was large enough for them to sleep in without bumping into each other.
“Can you focus please?” Tai asked impatiently, catching all of his thoughts about her and the bed. She pursed her lips angrily at him.
“I know you can take care of yourself,” Darien said, returning his attention to the proper topic. “There are going to be even more changes soon. Your body is going to start changing now because we’re, well, we’re one.” He looked at her sadly, wishing she would listen to him more. If only he could find a way to explain to her just how close they really were. “And because we’re one now, you’re going to start gaining some of my attributes. Some abilities. I don’t want you to be alone when this happens. You might get really sick. The transition has been known to be incapacitating, even fatal.”
“Great,” she grumbled. “So I’m going to get deathly ill while you’re away? Is this really what you think love is? What is wrong with you? You don’t kill people you love. Do you care about me at all?”
“I didn’t say that was going to happen,” he said. “It probably won’t. I’ve been told the transition correlates to the emotions we have towards each other. The stronger the bond, the faster and more intense the transition occurs. Since you obviously don’t love me, I think you’ll have it pretty easy. What I’m saying is it’s a possibility to start parts of it. I just want you to be safe.”
“Why did you do this to me....” she whispered.
“I could tell you, but I don’t think you’d believe a word of it.” Darien said. “Like I said, I’ll find a way to make this all up to you. Give me a chance to think things through and make this better for both of us.” He wasn’t sure how this was going to work if she wasn’t willing to try too. She was such a pain sometimes. Maybe going away on this trip would be good for both of them.
Tai sighed deeply. Her body language filled with frustration and anger. “I can try, but I can’t make any promises. If you weren’t so understanding over my being so pissed off, I’d have slapped you by now. You acknowledging this was a crummy thing to do to me is a start at least. I wouldn’t be expecting anything serious though. You may love me, but I definitely don’t love you.”
He nodded slowly. “I was never expecting that to happen.” Not right away. “I have lots of time. We both have lots of time. I’m not going to rush anything. We’ll do things at the speed you want to do them. Just like our first night together.”
She opened her mouth to fight him. He knew exactly what she was going to say. She didn’t understand his magic, but he’d find a way to teach her and show her nothing wrong had been done. One step at a time.
“Have a safe trip then,” she said at last.
“Thank you.” He gave her a genuine smile. “I’ll be home again as soon as I can.” He sighed before once more picking up his bag and heading out the door. “Call me if you need me. For anything. I’ll come home as soon as I hear the word. I’ll drop it all for you.”
She actually smiled at that, and appeared to be happy for a change. He smiled back and the knots in his stomach started to turn into tingles. The moments where she was happy were the ones he lived for, especially when he was the reason for it. White noise like thoughts poured into his mind, but he was trying to learn how to not invade her privacy and pick up everything as it came into her head. It was difficult to ignore when they were praising him.
“Try not to be too long,” she mumbled. “This place is kind of creepy.” And big, and lonely.
Darien thought about taking a step closer to her, wanting to reach out and touch her gently in an effort to be reassuring. Instead, he held himself back. She wouldn’t want it. He opened his mouth to say something else to her, but stopped short when his cell phone started to go off. “It’s my dad probably wondering where I am. He’s waiting upstairs on the roof for our ride. By the way, I left something for you on the bed.”
He turned to leave, stopping once in the doorway to get a good look at her before he exited the room. He stared at her for a few, brief, precious, seconds. She was beautiful even though her hair was a mess and her eyes were filled with angry tears. He wished she’d let him kiss them away. Even her frown was sexy, but he still preferred her smile.
I love you. Don’t forget that.
When she didn’t turn or speak, he turned his back and walked away.
Chapter Twelve
Darien was gone, and now, Tai was at a loss of what to do. The second the bedroom door had closed behind him, she felt lost and even more afraid. When she was alone before, just knowing he was in the house provided some kind of strange security - if only because he was willing to help ease her confusion by providing information. He was a sweet man, and this made it hard to be repulsed by him. In fact, he was nothing like any other guy she’d ever met, and this through her for a complete loop.
All of the guys from school were arrogant and stuck up. As her fellow classmates had always put it, the island, because it was so small provided slim pickings for a future spouse. Everyone knew this, and the young men her age made sure the women were aware of how lucky they were to be chosen by them. Few men where she was from were mature.
Darien himself had some growing up to do, but he was willing to listen and despite her circumstances behind arriving in his company she didn’t get the impression he only wanted her barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. He treated her as more than a bed companion, and hadn’t tried to advance on her again. She didn’t believe he was in ‘one true love’ with her though either.
Still, Tai could at least thank him for saving her from a boring life. She was off her island, which was something she’d always wanted to do, but few people from home achieved this because it cost too much money to go to the main continent. She was also married to a dragon, and this boggled her mind.
Now she was left with strangers, strange women, who were trying to persuade her that this life was in fact okay. Maybe it was, but she would decide that on her own terms. Why did she miss him?
“This is stupid,” she mumbled as she went to the bed. He had said he left something for her on it, and her curiosity was nagging. What kind of a gift did he leave her, and what did he hope to accomplish with it? She walked to the bed curiously. It was made and looked absolutely perfect without a wrinkle in the comforter. He must have done that while she ate breakfast. In the middle of the bed rested a small, black leather bound journal, and a set of gel pens; a small blue flower rested on top
of them. Now she was definitely curious. She opened the journal and read a letter from Darien in a neat, well practiced, manuscript.
Tai,
I’m not going to try to say I understand what you’re going through or what you’re feeling anymore. I’m sorry I’ve hurt you, and I wish I hadn’t. I know you must feel alone. I don’t need to be able to read your mind to see it in your eyes. I never meant to make you feel so sad. I gave you this journal so you could keep your thoughts in a safe place and not feel so invaded. I’ve done some experimenting, and I’ve found that putting things to paper don’t pass through my mind to yours (unless of course you were just ignoring me while I was testing this theory out, in which case I apologize and I’m really embarrassed now.). Write what you feel. Write to make yourself feel well again.
I really hope I can come home sooner than two weeks. I haven’t even gone yet, and I’m already missing you. I’m sure this seems pathetic to you, but I can’t help it. I love you, and I’m already counting the days until I get to see you again. I’ll spare page space by not going into everything. I’ll be home soon. I will make it all up to you.
Love,
Darien
“I wonder if it really works,” she mused as she read over the part where he said he couldn’t hear what she wrote. She hoped so. It would make her feel like she could at least keep a few things secret and safe. As much as she wanted to, it was impossible for her to turn her mind off completely. Why was he so good at it, and she failed miserably when neither of them could ever do this before? He had strong magic, he’d proven this through his demonstrations, but from the beginning he was just as surprised as she was by the telepathy. Maybe because he had magic, he was able to find a solution easier than her.
Legend of the Oceina Dragon (The Dragons Saga) Page 5
