I’d known this trip was a mistake, but I’d come anyway. Maybe I deserved this enormous pain in my gut? Last time I drove out of McAdenville, I was heartbroken over Rob and Ellie, but this pain was different. I couldn’t breathe, my air was gone—Piper was gone. I flashed to her sketch in the studio. “Breathing Space,” I think she called it. I understood it when I saw it, but now it was real. I was dying. I was sure of it. I couldn’t breathe without her. I didn’t care about Rob or Ellie or all the bad memories. I’d left something more important behind, something I was sure I’d die without. But she didn’t feel the same way. That look on her face when she said we needed to talk? I was sure she was ending things.
I pulled over and hopped out of my truck, trying to find the air, trying to breathe. It hit me like a ton of bricks. It took me leaving to finally realize—took me letting go. I loved her. I loved Piper.
I wasn’t sure how long I sat on the side of the road. I didn’t know what to do. I looked north—towards Raleigh, to my life, my business, my friends. Then I looked south—towards my family, towards the woman I loved. It should be an easy choice—Piper. But how do I go back there? Face all the chaos with Rob and Ellie? Face Piper not being in love with me? I never actually told her how I felt. Would it have made a difference?
I wasn’t sure what to do, but I was sure it was freezing out. I got in my truck to start up the heater and turned over the ignition, but it wouldn’t start. I tried again, no luck, and again with the same result. Picking up my cell phone from the passenger seat, I realized it was now dead and threw it down, staring at the seat. A few days ago, Piper was in that seat, beside me, wearing my baseball cap. I picked my cap up off the dash and held it to my nose, inhaling deeply, desperate to hold on to the only thing I had left of her.
I heard gravel skidding and looked up, seeing a car pulling in behind me. I would recognize that car anywhere—a red 1962 Ferrari. I saw Nana slamming the car door shut, and I hopped out of my truck. She marched over to me like a woman half her age. I stood up straighter, unsure why she was here. She looked really pissed off. She stood in front of me, her head only up to my chest, but I felt like a little boy caught stealing her cookies again.
“I thought I told you to be careful with Piper.” Her blue eyes bore into mine as she tapped my chest with her finger. “Didn’t I tell you that?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Then what are you doing?”
“I’m. . . .” I wasn’t quite sure what I was doing, but I didn’t want to get into my love life with my eighty-year-old grandmother.
“Why are you on the side of the road?” she asked, pulling her coat tighter to her body.
I pointed over my shoulder. “Truck broke down.”
She smiled. “I prayed to Pop to stop you. I guess he did.”
“Nana, my truck is just old.”
She grabbed my shirt collar and pulled me by the neck to her car. “Get in.” I knew better than to argue with Nana when she got this way, but I didn’t want to be kidnapped back to McAdenville. “I’m not asking you,” she said, getting into the driver’s side.
I slid into the passenger’s seat and put my hands in front of the heater, rubbing them together. “I’m sorry you saw me like that. You know, hitting Rob.”
She turned her eyes to me, a twinkle appearing. “I’m not sorry. He deserved it, and you should’ve done it years ago.”
“He did,” I agreed.
“It was hard to forgive him for that mess with Ellie, that little tramp.”
“Nana?”
“Don’t Nana me. Why lie about what she is? A self-absorbed, spoiled slut—I never liked her. I could just never put my finger on it when you dated her. Then she showed her true whore colors.”
Tramp, slut, whore? These weren’t words I thought were in my Nana’s vocabulary. “I don’t think Rob’s any better.”
“No, he’s actually worse. He betrayed his brother.”
She looked out the windshield, and I realized she was searching for some peace, some wisdom. I always thought she had all the answers, but for the first time, I realized she didn’t. She’d struggled to forgive him, just like I had. All these years, I thought Nana wanted me to come home to make peace with my brother, when really she just missed me. It was that simple. “Why did you come after me?”
“Same reason I came after you six years ago.” Nana smiled. “I love you.”
“Love you, too,” I said as she patted my cheek. “I don’t think I can forgive him, Nana.”
“Then don’t,” she said. My jaw dropped. I couldn’t believe my grandmother just supported me not forgiving my brother. “If you can’t forgive him, I understand that. But stop letting what happened steal your life.”
“He and Ellie stole my life.”
“Six years ago, maybe?” Nana turned towards me. “But you gave them all the power. What they did shouldn’t keep you from visiting when you want to. Shouldn’t keep you from the rest of us. They are the ones who should be ashamed, not you.”
I hadn’t really thought of it like that before. “But I think it’s easier on everyone if I just stay away.”
“It’s not easier on me. I miss you.” She smiled at me. “Do you think it will be easier on Piper?”
This is why she followed me. She didn’t want her matchmaking efforts to go to waste. “Nana, it’s complicated. We don’t even live in the same city.”
“Excuse.”
“We’ve only been seeing each other a week.”
“Another excuse.”
I was getting frustrated. “This wasn’t supposed to happen. I was supposed to come into town—visit and go. I wasn’t supposed to fall. . . .”
Nana finished my sentence. “Not fall in deep, crazy, blinding love with her?” I nodded. “Yet you drove out of town.”
“She doesn’t feel the same way.”
Nana busted out laughing. “You can’t be that blind.”
“I asked her to come with me, and she said she couldn’t.”
“Piper was hysterical when you walked out.”
I almost got whiplash I turned to her so quickly. I felt sick to my stomach. I hated the thought of her crying without me there to comfort her. “No, she was ending things. She didn’t want to come to Raleigh. She was concerned about a long distance relationship. She. . . .”
“She was crying so hard we thought she might throw up or pass out.”
I looked out at my old truck. “She was probably upset about me hitting Rob. That scared her, I’m sure.”
“She was scared, but I don’t think that’s why.”
I flashed to Piper as a little girl, trembling in the darkness in her tent in the backyard. I hated thinking she was scared then, and I hated it now. “Fireflies,” I whispered to myself. I’d slept outside her tent all night because I loved her even then. I’d loved her most of my life.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
DECEMBER 29
DREW
Nana and I stayed on the side of the road for hours, mostly because we were waiting on a damn tow truck, but it gave me time to figure out a few things. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen with Piper, but I couldn’t leave things like that. I couldn’t have her thinking she meant nothing to me—when the fact was, she meant everything. I had to straighten things out with her. I had to get my life straight, period—with Piper, with my parents, with Rob and Ellie. And I was starting by getting rid of that damn truck. It was the only thing left of my old life in McAdenville, and it was time to leave that all behind.
I left Matt a message that I needed to talk to him. I needed to know what my options were. Then I strolled determinedly into the car dealership. This was the first step. I couldn’t go to Piper without having my shit together. That’s what she deserved, and that’s what she was going to get. I was fully prepared to beg if I had to.
The bright lights of the dealership hurt my swollen eyes. I hadn’t slept at all last night, but I didn’t want to waste time sleeping right now. I strolled
through the showroom, looking at the shining paint jobs. My pickup had never looked like these trucks. “Drew?”
Well, shit! “Hey, Davis,” I said, telling myself he wasn’t competition for Piper’s affection. I eyed his suit and name tag, realizing he worked here. Shit!
“Thought you left town.”
The only person who would have told him that was Piper. My blood started to boil. I couldn’t believe she’d go to Davis about our relationship. “Nope.” We stared at each other for a few awkward seconds. “Thought you were mayor or something.”
“I’m running, but I work here in the meantime. I guess you don’t remember, but my uncle owns the dealership.”
“Right.” I knew I wasn’t getting rid of him. I’d have to buy a new truck from this fucker. “Then I guess you can help me out. My truck finally died.”
“About time, that thing was ancient back in high school.” He started towards some SUV’s. “I guess you’ll be looking for a family car.”
“Um, no.”
“Oh,” he said, shuffling his feet. He looked so nervous, like maybe he saw me as his competition. “What are you looking for?”
I explained to him that I hauled lots of furniture and was always finding old wood and throwing it in the back of my pickup. “I need something with a lot of horsepower and plenty of room.”
“You get all that in an SUV as well. Might be beneficial to think more long term. My mom keeps telling me that marriage and kids are just around the corner.”
I wasn’t about to let Davis push me into buying something I didn’t need so he could get a bigger commission check. “A pickup.”
He forced a smile and started walking towards the pickups. The next couple of hours were downright painful. I’d rather have my left nut cut off than spend another minute with this guy. And based on the way he kept fiddling with his phone, I was sure he felt the same way. I’m also sure I paid too much for the damn truck, just because I was in too big a hurry to get away from Davis to fool with haggling over price.
I looked around his small office, trying to distract myself as he completed the paperwork. My eyes landed on a diploma on the back wall. “You went to Virginia Commonwealth?” He glanced up at the diploma, giving me a little nod. I knew Piper went there. Davis was a little older, so maybe they hadn’t been there at the same time? Maybe they didn’t know each other? My stomach churned. “So, what’s this thing you’re taking Piper to on New Year’s Eve?”
Davis pulled at his tie as he continued filling out some paperwork at his desk. “Political thing.”
“And Piper’s your date?”
“I wouldn’t call it a date,” Davis said. “We’re friends.”
They had their stories in line, for sure. “She makes good arm candy for you, I guess. Nice photo ops.”
“I’m not using her,” he said, his words biting. Shit! Another person who thought I was using Piper.
“Really? I see what you get from these dates, but what does Piper get out of it?”
“Sometimes people are just nice to each other without expecting anything in return.” Davis threw his pen down and tossed some keys across the desk. “All done, enjoy your new truck.”
“I will. And one more thing, no more of these friendly dates with Piper.”
Davis got to his feet and leaned over the desk. “That’s her decision. Maybe you should worry a little more about how you’re treating Piper.”
“My relationship with Piper is none of your business.”
“It is when I call her, and she’s crying because you’ve tossed her aside.”
Shit, he knew about how I left. “You’ve talked to her?”
“Of course, we talk almost every day. But not as much lately.” He threw me a look, clearly stating that I was the reason for that.
“Don’t think this is a chance for you to take advantage of her and get back in her bed.” I remembered my conversation with Piper in the shower. I’d been suspicious then that Davis was her ex. After all, she told me they were still friendly. Now the diploma, it all seemed too convenient.
“You’ve lost it,” Davis said. “Piper and I are only friends.”
“You can quit the act. She told me all about how you couldn’t satisfy her, you selfish little prick.”
“I think you’ve confused some things.” Davis folded his hands in front of him. “Can you close the door? I think I might need to explain a few things about my and Piper’s relationship.”
Was he fucking kidding me? If he thought I was going to sit here and listen to him spout his affection or devotion to her, he was delusional, and I’d be damned if I listened to one word about their physical relationship. I’d rather have my dick chopped off with a dull knife. “No, thanks.”
I grabbed the keys to my new truck and stormed out of the dealership. I didn’t care what Davis thought, but I wondered if that’s what Piper believed—that I was just using her? Is that why she wouldn’t come with me? Damn, I really needed some answers. I hopped in my new truck but didn’t pull away. I wasn’t sure what my next move should be. I wanted to have my life settled and plans in place before I went to Piper, but knowing she was crying, knowing she was upset, was eating me up.
I picked up my cell phone to call her. I had to at least tell her I was still in town and wanted to see her in a few days when I settled things with my family. I couldn’t have her moving on with Davis or shedding any more tears over me. I couldn’t have her thinking I’d just given up on her—on us. I promised her I wouldn’t do that again.
I looked out the windshield, taking a moment before I dialed to make sure this was the right move. But then suddenly Piper was there, walking right towards the car dealership. Her blonde hair was down, so I couldn’t see her face, but she looked incredibly sexy in her jeans, cowboy boots, and sweater. There was no way I could be so close to her and not go to her. I got out of my truck then froze.
Davis was walking towards her. I saw her start to walk faster towards him, like she couldn’t wait a second longer to be with him. He opened up his arms and engulfed her. She cuddled into him, and he kissed the top of her head. I couldn’t believe it—my chest hurt. I couldn’t breathe again. This was going to kill me.
*
PIPER
It felt so good to be hugged, held, to cry into his chest and know he wouldn’t judge me. “Are you sure it was Drew?”
Davis pulled back and stroked my cheek. “I sold him a truck, sweetie. It was him.”
“Why did he come back?” I couldn’t believe Drew was back, or perhaps he hadn’t really left. Davis had texted me not long ago, letting me know that Drew was at the dealership. At first, I was determined not to come over here, but I lasted only about an hour before I couldn’t take it anymore.
“He didn’t say. At first, I thought he came back for you and the baby. I tried to sell him an SUV.”
“You what?”
“Don’t worry, I covered. He doesn’t know you might be pregnant.”
“Hush!”
“You’re coming over tonight and taking that damn test. Stop stalling. You need to know. Hell, I need to know.”
“I’m not ready, Davis. I need a little time.” He put his arm around me and started walking. “How’d Drew seem? Did he ask about me?”
“He seemed like he wanted to kill me. He’s not buying that we’re just friends, that’s for sure. He thought I was the ex you told him about.” Davis hugged me again. “I was going to tell him the truth, but he stormed off.”
“I don’t think it would have mattered, anyway.” It was hopeless, and I knew it. He hadn’t left me because of what he might think about Davis. He left because I didn’t mean anything to him. “How could I have been so blind?”
“I tried to tell you he has issues with his family.”
“Do you think that’s why he left me?”
“I don’t know, but don’t grasp at straws. He’s back in town. Has he called? Tried to see you?”
I shook my head as a few mor
e tears fell down my cheeks. “I love him.”
“I know you do. Maybe give him a few days. He was jealous when he thought we were together. He wouldn’t be that way if he didn’t care.”
I kissed his cheek. “I think you better find another date for New Year’s Eve. I won’t be good company.” Davis nodded his head, and I walked away alone. My worst fears were true. I was nothing to Drew. I had meant nothing. He hadn’t left town. He just left me.
I wandered around the small shops of McAdenville—a zombie. I’m sure people said “hi” or nodded at me, but my heart was too crushed to engage. I knew Davis was right, and I needed to take the pregnancy test, but I wasn’t strong enough for the result yet. I needed to be strong if the answer was yes. I needed to be able to tell Drew and not fall back into his arms if he came back to me because of the baby. I didn’t need or want a sympathy relationship.
I looked across the street towards the pond, all the Christmas decorations now gone. Scanning the grass, I looked for our bench, the bench we made out on for hours just a few nights ago. I was shocked to find Drew sitting there, staring out into the water. He really was still in town. He really hadn’t tried to see me. I really didn’t mean anything to him.
Suddenly, he turned towards me, like he felt my stare on him. I turned quickly. There was no way I could look into his blue eyes without falling to pieces. If he thought I was nothing, then I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of seeing he meant everything to me.
*
DREW
Piper? I leapt off the bench, tilting my head, trying to see if that was really her. I think I was in shock. Seeing her in Davis’s arms not long ago—God, that hurt like hell. Watching her with another man, her lips on his cheek, his arms cradling her, them walking arm in arm was the worst kind of pain imaginable. I’d taken for granted all the times she’d walked towards me and flew into my arms, the moments I’d held her hand as she walked beside me.
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