by Addison Jane
I screwed up my nose.
“What’s wrong, Fay?” Braydon asked. “I bet you look hot as fuck in a swimsuit.”
“Braydon,” Heath warned.
Bray rolled his eyes. “Like you weren’t thinking it.”
“I can’t swim.” The words rushed out, and suddenly everyone’s attention was on me. “My parents didn’t exactly allow me to have any extracurricular activities when I was growing up. And we never went to the beach or did shit like other families.”
Braydon looked over at his brother, their eyes met briefly before Bray shook his head. “Fuck me,” he muttered as he stomped out the door. I heard his heavy footsteps on the staircase and cringed.
It still felt weird, talking about my life before. Sometimes, I wondered whether it had even happened. It was so long ago that sometimes it felt like a dream, or a nightmare, I guess. But I could remember every single detail of the smells and the sounds.
Heath stepped around beside me and brushed a stray hair back from my face. “You’ll be fine, the pool has a shallow end, so you don’t even have to swim.”
I nodded, forcing myself to smile up at him. He dipped his head and kissed me gently.
“Here girls, these should fit just fine.”
I jumped back, Helen had kicked off her heels so I hadn’t heard her coming. She smiled at me like there was nothing wrong, but I couldn’t help but wonder what must be going through her mind knowing that her son was kissing a homeless girl off the street.
I caught Heath smirk as he turned and walked out. “I’ll meet you out there.”
“Come on,” Helen urged, flicking her head for us to follow her. “You can get dressed in the pool house.” Layla and I jumped down off our stools and trailed along behind her. We looked at each other and Layla mouthed the words ‘pool house?’ with her eyes wide.
I just shook my head. We were out of our depths here, and I wasn’t talking about the pool.
Helen was right, the swimsuits she picked out did fit perfectly. Layla wore a beautiful emerald colored tank top with matching bottoms, trimmed with gold. It accentuated her generous bust and showed off her flat stomach.
Mine was much the same, but a deep velvet red with black accents. It was a halter neck so it pushed my boobs up and together, showing off some cleavage.
“Come on, Fay!” Layla pulled me from the pool house, and I couldn’t help but laugh. She was like a little kid, excited about a new toy.
The second we stepped into the pool area, though, we both froze.
“Holy shit,” Layla whispered.
Braydon and Heath both stood at the end of the pool, Braydon laughing and Heath smirking. “Bro, you know I’m not gonna race you. How ‘bout we grab a football and see who can throw it the furthest?”
Heath rolled his eyes and Bray laughed. “Exactly!”
I couldn’t help but stare as they threw shots at each other. Both their bodies were… amazing. Heath was taller and broader in the shoulders than Braydon, but he was a swimmer so I knew his upper body must be ridiculously strong, and it showed.
Both boys had the hint of abs that became more prominent as they flexed, with the indent of their hips showing off a ridiculously toned and attractive V-shape which disappeared under their swimming shorts.
“I’m sure teenage boys are supposed to be covered in acne and full of awkwardness,” Lay whispered.
“They obviously missed that memo,” I replied dryly.
Both their heads popped up when they heard us across the pool. Braydon grinned widely and put his fingers in his mouth, letting out a loud wolf whistle. “Hey baby, you come here often?” he called, followed by deep laughter.
Layla raised her middle finger at him. “Don’t be a pig, rich boy.”
Braydon pretended to grab his heart like she’d just broken it, and fell sideways into the pool, the water bursting around him. Layla threw herself in after him, pressing on his head as he attempted to come to the surface and laughing maniacally.
Heath walked around the pool, a rare smile on his face. “A couple of meetings and those two think they’re siblings,” I commented, trying to avoid looking at him, every time I did I just stared in awe.
Heath chuckled. “I don’t think Bray sees it that way.”
I wanted to ask him what he meant, but before I could he took my hand and led me to the steps that disappeared into the pool. I walked in beside him, the water was cool, but not cold—more like the warmth of a bath after you climb out. I gripped Heath’s hand tighter as he walked me further and further, the water rising to up around my waist and my feet beginning to float off the ground.
Water splashed around us, and the air was filled with laughter as Bray and Layla continued their epic battle for dominance.
I took a step back, but he wound his arms around my waist and held me still.
“It’s fine. I’m right here.” He smiled down at me, it was comforting, and I couldn’t help but smile back.
“You’re always so serious, but that grin hasn’t left your mouth since you got out here.”
I squeaked when he lifted me off my feet and pressed my legs so they wound around his waist. My arms went straight to his neck, and I clung to him like a monkey. He waded further into the water.
“Heath, stop,” I warned as his feet left the ground and he kept us afloat purely by his own strength. The water made me feel weightless, and soon he didn’t even need to hold me up, using his arms as well to tread the water.
“Heath…” The warning was harsher now as I stared at him in shock, realizing just how far we were from the side of the pool.
“Are you scared?” he asked, only slightly breathless even as he worked to keep us afloat.
Was I scared?
“Not really.”
“Why not?”
I knew the answer he was looking for, I could see it in his eyes and his face. He wanted me to say it. He knew it was already true.
“Because I trust you.”
I sat on the edge of the pool, my feet dangling in the water. It was starting to get late now, and I knew we would have to go home.
Bayward Street had become my home. The tent I slept in, and the people that surrounded me were a comfort that I enjoyed. But for the first time in a long time, I dreaded returning there.
Heath popped out of the water beside me and hooked his elbows onto the concrete. “This is my place, in the water.” I tilted my head, looking down at him in question. He chuckled. “You mentioned me not being able to stop smiling since we got to the pool. It’s because here in the water is what I love.”
Nodding in understanding, I reached out and pushed a wet piece of hair away from his forehead. “You’re amazing at it, I see why you love it.”
“Fay?” Looking over my shoulder, I saw Layla with a towel wrapped around her. Bray stood behind her scowling. “We probably should get going.”
I nodded, pushing off the concrete. Heath hefted himself out of the pool just using his arms, and for a moment, I just watched and appreciated the way his muscles bulged at the effort.
“Get changed and I’ll give you girls a ride.”
“We can—”
Heath hit me with a sharp look, and I closed my mouth, mumbling a quiet, “Okay,” as I followed Layla back to the pool house to get dressed. The room was silent as we dried off and pulled on our clothes.
“You don’t want to go back, do you?” Layla asked quietly as she watched me wring the water out of my hair. It wasn’t an accusation, it was almost as if she was hoping I would tell her that we could stay. Maybe forever.
Layla had been on the streets longer than I had. She’d lived the life for so long that I wondered whether she would ever leave it. But now I could see that she felt just like I did.
“Eazy told me he knew Braydon and Heath would be at that party,” I told her. “He said he hoped that it would make me see that there was something better out there. He wanted me to fight for something more than just being comfortable with what
we had.”
She looked down at her feet, tying the laces on her shoes slowly. “It’s not like we don’t all want to have a home, and be able to work and earn money to support ourselves, but at this point, it’s all I know, Fay.”
“But it doesn’t have to be.” Exhaustion was hitting me now. I’d cried my eyes out for my friend and now I was just done, I was over it all. “We are there every single day, risking our lives just to live.”
She shook her head. “I know, but can you really see yourself walking away from the others? They need us. We need them. We survive because we stick together. We protect each other, and we lift each other up when it feels like we want to just give up.”
She was right. I couldn’t walk away from the people who’d stuck by me for so long and just forget them. They’d been there for me, and I wouldn’t just give up and leave them out in the cold just so I could think about myself.
I walked over and wrapped my arms around her neck, giving her a tight hug. “Come on. Let’s go home.”
The drive back to the city was slow and quiet. I lay my head on Layla’s shoulder in the back seat, and the boys sat up front. There was tension in the car, I could feel it. I wasn’t exactly sure why, though.
A few streets from home I tapped on Heath’s shoulder. “Just let us out here, we can walk.” He glanced at me in the rear vision mirror. I pleaded with my eyes for him to just stop and let us out. I prayed he wouldn’t push the point.
Showing up at Bayward Street with them was an unnecessary stress that I wasn’t sure I was ready for. Kyle was still upset about things with Eazy, and with him already feeling angry and fed up, I knew seeing Braydon and Heath would just fuel the fire that we were fighting so hard to keep control of.
He pulled the vehicle into a bus stop, it worked in my favor as I knew this would have to be quick so he could move on. Layla jumped out with her guitar in hand and Braydon wound down his window, talking with her quietly.
“Thank you,” I whispered, reaching my arms around the seat in front of me in an awkward attempt at a hug. Leaning forward, I kissed Heath on the cheek. “You saved me again today. You might have to start wearing a cape and some spandex.”
I hoped that he would laugh or at least give me a smile, but he was back to the straight-faced Heath I’d first met.
“Be safe,” was all he said.
“I will.”
Watching them drive off hurt more than I’d imagined it would. We didn’t talk about ever seeing each other again, even though we’d never planned it before. I just had to hope that the universe had a plan, I guess.
Layla smiled sadly as I looked over at her. “Come on.”
When we turned onto Bayward Street, I knew something was wrong instantly. Layla and I both started walking a little faster, raised voices filling the darkening street.
“Leave me the fuck alone, Lee,” Kyle shouted as we slipped through the fence.
“Fuck man, just chill out.”
“What’s going on? We can hear you yelling from the end of the street,” I asked as we jumped in between two tents. Kyle’s chest was heaving up and down, and Lee was standing in front of him with his hands raised in surrender. The rest of the group were scattered around, Andre and Coop looking between the twins with wide eyes, Sketch sitting quietly at the edge of everything with his pad and pencil. I could hear crying as Phee crawled out of Daisy’s tent with a furious look on her face.
“Are you happy? She’s upset now, thanks to you.” She folded her arms across her chest protectively. “That poor girl has spent her whole life being yelled at, she came here for sanctuary. But right now, she’s right back in that house that she thought she’d escaped from because you wanted to throw a fucking tantrum. Congratulations Kyle, you’re a fucking asshole.”
I was stunned and simply stared in silence. Nobody said a word. Kyle didn’t even bother to defend himself, and Lee just shook his head at his brother in disappointment. Kyle growled and kicked at the dirt before turning and taking off down further under the motorway.
Layla placed her guitar on the ground. “I’ll go.” She gave Lee’s arm a squeeze before jumping through the tents and jogging after him. Lee dropped onto the ground and hung his head between his knees, pulling at his hair.
Phee let out a slow breath and let her arms hang to the side. I walked around to her and touched her arm, gaining her attention. “What happened?”
Daisy’s quiet sniffles broke my heart, she was the youngest of us all at only thirteen. We were all protective of her. She’d been dealt a bad hand, just like me—like all of us.
Her parents were the kind of Christians that you didn’t want to meet at church on a Sunday. Their beliefs of right and wrong were all kinds of crazy, and it seemed like Daisy could never do anything right. Her parents found the oddest reasons for her to be punished. Not brushing her teeth before she went to bed, kicking her blankets off in her sleep because she was too hot. They would make her repent her sins from the previous week every Sunday in front of their whole procession, and apparently she wasn’t the only one. All the other children there took the same punishment, their parents believing it would make them into better people.
It made me sick.
I ducked into the tent behind Phee. “Daisy, honey. Are you okay?”
She was lying on her side with her legs tucked up and her arms wrapped around her knees. She relaxed slightly when she saw me and gave me a small nod. “I didn’t mean to freak out,” she apologized. “All I did was mention Eazy, and he started yelling at me.” She started to tense, and I began making a shushing noise with my mouth, hoping it would ease her.
I scooted up, so I was sitting beside her head. “It’s okay. It wasn’t your fault.”
“He was so angry,” she whispered so quietly I could hardly make out the words.
“Kyle is just stressed, honey. He didn’t mean—”
“Not Kyle, my dad,” she corrected. “He was always angry. He used to yell at me so much that it just became normal. It was weird to hear him at church, talking normally to other people. I sometimes wondered whether I’d love him more if he just talked to me like that.”
“Oh, Daisy.” Lying down next to her, I began to brush her hair with my fingers, her body relaxing as I smoothed it down and gently tugged away any tiny knots.
“Aren’t you supposed to love your parents?” she asked, looking up at me with shimmering eyes. “I mean, they gave us life, shouldn’t we be thankful for that?”
Smiling gently, I tucked her hair behind her ear. “My dad hurt me, too, Daisy. Just because they made us, it doesn’t give them the right to hurt us. Love is earned, through loyalty and caring. You and the rest of them out there aren’t my blood, but I love you more than any real family I had.”
“Don’t they say blood is thicker than water?”
I laughed lightly. “That’s true. But when a thousand tiny streams come together, they form a mighty river.”
Daisy smiled over at me. “We are the tiny streams?”
I grinned back. “Hell no, baby, we are the river.”
“You ready?”
Andre and Coop stood outside my tent waiting patiently. I zipped up my full backpack and tossed it over my shoulder, before grabbing my rollerblades and following the boys over to the fence. Sitting at the curb, I pulled them on and tightened them up. Andre gave me a hand to pull me to my feet, and we headed down the street.
“Daisy didn’t want to come?” I asked the boys as I skated slowly beside them.
“She needs some food, Fay. Have you seen how skinny she’s gotten?” Coop sighed.
Andre shook his head. “Sometimes I wonder if she’d be better off taking her chances with the cops and the foster care system.”
I nodded, somewhat agreeing with his observation. Daisy was at an age where she needed a lot of nourishment, and because she was already tiny, the lack of food had almost turned her to skin and bones. “We’ll find something and take it back with us. That’s all we can
do at the moment.”
It had been a week since I’d last seen Heath. My mind hadn’t stopped thinking about him, and every time I heard a noise or saw a car that looked like his, my heart would start to race. But it was never him.
We were headed to the mall, Layla was with Phee busking outside, so we were going to meet them there. By the time we got there, it would be just after lunch time, which meant people would be leaving the food court and heading back to work. The plates of half eaten food were never cleared right away, so it was our best chance for a meal at the moment.
Feeding nine of us took its toll on any type of money that we were given. Even with Eazy gone, it didn’t make things better. If anything, we struggled even more than we did before, because he wasn’t there to push us along with his it’s going to be okay attitude.
I had empty plastic bottles in my bag that I would fill with water from the bathrooms, which would keep us going for a while, and at least we knew it was good water and wasn’t going to make us sick.
The walk to the mall took us just over an hour. I heard Layla’s voice and the strum of her guitar before I spotted her. Phee sat at her feet, holding a cardboard sign that asked for money or food. We didn’t care which it was. Sometimes people preferred to buy us food rather than give us money, simply because they feared the money would just go on drugs or alcohol.
Layla finished her song as we approached and started to pack her guitar away. I spotted a few dollars inside her case, and she smiled at me sadly as we both knew it wasn’t much. Phee was the same, tossing her few coins and a couple of dollar notes inside the case before Lay zipped it shut.
“Let’s hit the buffet,” Andre said enthusiastically as we walked inside.
I rolled my eyes, but he wasn’t wrong. That was basically what it was. We would gather the leftovers from people’s plates, forming a mixture of all the different types of eateries that were in the food court, then we would just sit down and pick at what we wanted, packing the rest away to take back for the others.
It was a long walk to just get a little bit of food in our stomachs, but when your options are slim you have to do what you have to do. We tried to be discreet as we walked around and filled our trays with the leftover food, so security wouldn’t notice and try to throw us out.
