“You don’t sound too sure.”
“I’m sure,” I said. “I’m sure I want to marry you. It’s just that…I’m not sure if I want to live here forever.”
He looked at me. “You,” he paused, “we could go to Boston anytime you want. It’s not that hard.”
“I know. I have to think about it some more, Drew.”
“So, should I not give you your ring?”
He’d gotten me a ring? This was so unromantic, by the way. It was as if he’d expected me to say yes so he’d just jury-rigged this off-the-cuff proposal. As if reading my mind, he said, “I hadn’t planned to do it this way. I was going to wait till this weekend and then take you out to dinner and all of that. But I just got too excited. Couldn’t wait.” He sounded rueful and I felt guilty. Romance is all subjective anyway.
“I want the ring. I mean, I want to wear it.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea if you’re not planning to go through…”
“I want to marry you. I want us to have kids. I want us to be together. But Dominica is still growing on me, okay? I’d probably feel the same way if you lived in Cleveland.”
“Really? So it’s not because this is a small, Third World country without all of the comforts you’re used to?”
Ouch!
“I have all the comforts I need right now,” I said.
Then he opened the glove compartment and pulled out a box. I couldn’t believe he kept the ring in the glove compartment. In the glove compartment?
He opened the box and a gorgeous marquis-cut diamond stared back at me. Oy! I let out a huge peal of laughter. I just couldn’t help it. “Oh my God! It’s…It’s so me!”
“I thought you’d like it,” he said, smiling. I put my hand out and he put it on my ring finger. And I let out another squeal.
Oh! I’m getting married! my mind exclaimed, but I tried to keep my excitement under control. Ma is gonna lose her mind!
We kissed for a long time. And then things began to get even hotter.
“Babe, do you think it’s okay to do it here? What if someone comes?”
“They won’t,” Drew said as he pulled off my panties.
It wasn’t working out well. He reclined my seat, the passenger seat, all the way back and climbed on top of me, and the seat creaked from both our weights.
“Drew, I don’t think this is going to work.”
He only groaned as things got hotter in the truck. It was good, but I tried not to move for fear that something would break. Then he swore. “Don’t move.”
“What?” I asked. “What is it?”
“Just don’t move.”
He eased himself up and then crouched down in a weird position. Then I heard voices. Female voices. There must have been at least four or five of them. They got closer and closer and closer.
“Oh, shoot! Who is it?”
“Just don’t move,” he said.
Thank goodness, he was still wearing his T-shirt.
But was the rest of him exposed, and would they be able to see?
“Hello. Good morning.” He smiled and I could hear the thin voices of the women through the glass greeting him. He continued to nod and say good morning for a few more seconds that felt like hours and then they were gone.
I exhaled. “Did they see anything?”
He grinned and shrugged. “Let’s pick up where we left off. I was almost there.”
“No way, Drew. That freaked me out.”
“Come on,” he said. “You’re going to be my wife. You’re supposed to do what I say.”
I didn’t laugh.
“I’m kidding!” he said, laughing. “You American women are so sensitive.”
“Whatever,” I said.
Then we went back to fooling around. It was good, for him anyway. I couldn’t focus because I was hearing voices. What in the world did I just do?
As we pulled up to the work site, he said, “Those guys like to flirt, so be careful.”
“Yes, husband, sir,” I teased.
“That’s what I’m talking about, woman,” he winked.
The work site was what I expected, messy with construction materials all about. The school was almost finished, from what I could see, except for the interior. I walked around with Drew and the foreman of the project, a white Australian who was a missionary as well as a businessman.
“Will you be teaching here?” he asked when I told him that I was an English teacher from America.
“I don’t know yet,” I said. If I were going to teach here I’d probably do it at the grammar school in town; it reminded me of my school back home.
I found a shady spot under a tree and spread out my towel. Drew had disappeared into the building with the foreman. I decided to reapply sunblock to my flaked-up skin. I needed to take better care of my skin else I was going to lose the top layer of my epidermis! I was doing my shoulders when a shadow darkened my little spot. I looked up. It was a young guy, probably in his late teens or early twenties.
“You need some help with that?” He looked at the bottle of sunblock in my hand; then his eyes traveled back to my face suggestively.
“I…No, but thanks.”
“You sure?”
He smiled again and I could tell that this kid was used to having his way with the ladies. He had a nice smile, he was tall and good-looking. But I wasn’t looking, and I was a bit too old for him.
“What are you doing sitting here all by yourself?”
“I…”
“Anthony!”
Drew appeared out of nowhere in front of the two of us.
“Get back to work!” Drew thundered.
Anthony, who was as tall as Drew, gave him a look that spelled pure hatred and resentment, and walked away.
“He was harmless,” I said.
“I warned you,” Drew said, still angry, but with whom, me or young Anthony? “I don’t like you sitting all the way back here. Why don’t you go sit in the office?”
“I’d rather stay here. It’s too noisy where you guys are working.”
“I need to be able to keep my eye on you.”
“Why?”
“Listen, just do what I say and stop asking questions!”
“No!” I said. Where did he get off talking to me that way? “I’m staying here because I like sitting under this tree, and it’s shady and quiet. Okay?”
He looked at me, exasperation on his face.
“Drew, I can take care of myself, okay?” I think this was the first time I’d ever raised my voice at him. “I’ll scream if I need you.”
He didn’t think that was funny; he shook his head and walked away.
I didn’t see him much for the rest of the day. We had planned to eat lunch together, but he never did come back to get me. I followed men’s voices and found him eating some kind of sandwich with some of the workers. The radio was turned up loud, zouk music was blaring, and the guys were laughing and being rowdy. I could smell beer. He didn’t even notice that I’d come in. A man nudged him.
“I’m busy,” he said, then turned away from me dismissively, immediately going back to talking and laughing with the guys, who also acted as though I didn’t exist.
I fumed all the way back to my spot on the blanket. We would have this out tonight. I ate my boring bologna alone and tried to concentrate on Cry, the Beloved Country.
A few hours later, I was bored with the book and tired of fighting away the mosquitoes that seemed to multiply in number the closer it got to dusk. Then a car pulled up. I craned my neck to see who it was but I couldn’t tell anything except that it was black and shiny. Then I heard voices, and then there she was.
“Oh, Amelia!” Vanessa said, almost running toward me. She wore a long white sleeveless dress, brown sandals, and big brown beaded jewelry around her neck and arms. Mother earth with accessories.
“Vanessa?”
What in the world was she doing here?
“I heard the news. Drew called me and t
old me this morning.”
The news? That I was going to kill him for acting like a jerk?
“I hope you’re not upset with me for coming here but I was just so excited!”
I stood to greet her, swatting a mosquito on my arm.
We embraced and did the four kisses on the cheek thing.
“You know, the moment I met you I just knew you’d become my daughter-in-law,” she gushed.
I said something equally gushy back and we embraced again.
It was a weird thing to be doing because right at this moment I was so angry with Drew that I could have given him his ring back. Had he called her this morning to tell her that I’d said yes? Does she always have to be there every time something important happens to him? To us?
“So, have you talked about a date?”
“Vanessa, he just asked me this morning.”
“I understand that, of course, Amelia. But you must have some idea of when…”
“Right now, it’s just kinda sinking in. I can’t think further than today.”
She grabbed my left hand. “What do you think of the ring?”
“It’s gorgeous.”
She smiled triumphantly. “I went with him to the jewelry store, but he picked this one out all by himself.”
Oh, geez! Did he pick out his underwear all by himself, too, Vanessa?
“Don’t tell him,” she whispered, “but I think I’ll give you two his father’s and my wedding bands. I still wear mine, but I guess I can part with it. Of course, my ring size is a bit smaller than yours….”
“It’s still early to be thinking about that, Vanessa.”
“I know, Amelia. But it never hurts to plan.”
“Right. So you drove all the way up here just to congratulate us?” I tried to sound as friendly as possible.
“I did! Besides, I was bored. My best friend, Jean, is in the States this weekend visiting her grandbabies. Her son just had twins. I’m so jealous.”
“But, Vanessa, you already have grandkids.”
“I know that, Amelia. But it’s different when they’re your son’s.”
Did I even want to ask how so? No. Drew was here.
“Mom, I can’t believe you let that old guy drive you all the way up here.”
“He’s not that old. Anyway, I was just about to leave.”
“You’d better get on the road before it gets dark and old boy goes blind.”
She kissed him on the cheek and looked at me. “Isn’t he awful, this son of mine?”
I waved to her as her 90-year-old driver took off at a raging fifteen miles per hour. The guy was really old. You could hardly see his little gray head over the steering wheel. The whole scene reminded me of Driving Miss Daisy.
“Ready to go?” Drew asked as I gathered up my things.
“I can’t believe she came all the way out here….”
“She’s really excited,” he said shortly.
And I took that to mean that she was obviously more excited than I was.
He was silent as we drove home, but I had a lot to think about. How would I tell Ma that I was now engaged? Whitney would definitely have a lot of questions. James and Kelly would be thrilled. Gerard would be skeptical. Ma, I just could not anticipate what her reaction would be.
“I don’t like what happened today,” he said out of the blue.
“What?” I knew full well that he meant the episode under the tree. Later we would call this our tree fight.
“You’re in a foreign country, a different culture. When I say you shouldn’t be in a certain place it’s because I know what can happen to you. I’m not trying to control you.”
“I didn’t say you were.”
“No, but you’re thinking it.”
“If you know me so well, then how come you didn’t know that I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”
“I do know that. But those guys up there don’t know that. The guys here…They’re always putting people to the test…especially foreigners. I had to go through hell when I came back from the States just to prove I was one of them and not some money-hungry Yankee. That kid who came up and talked to you today, that wasn’t just a coincidence. They’re using you to test me. To see how far I can go.”
This sounded like some caveman, male-posturing stuff to me.
“I don’t know why I should get caught up in that. How was I supposed to know…”
“You don’t get it,” he said testily. “They’re going to measure me based on how they see us interact.”
Clarity was dawning. “Ohhhh,” I said. “So if your little woman doesn’t obey you, then they won’t respect you?”
“Sarcasm.” He shook his head. “We’ll talk about this later.”
“No, let’s talk about it now. Just because those guys hold antiquated ideas about women doesn’t mean that I should change who I am to…” I stopped as the full force of my words hit me.
“To make me look good?” He glanced at me. “That’s not what I’m asking you to do. But if I were, would that be a huge problem?”
I gulped. I didn’t know what to say. He was my man and I loved him, and of course I wanted him to look good. But…
“It wouldn’t be a problem. I just wish you’d explain things to me instead of just ordering me…”
“When did I order you to do anything?”
“When you told me to move earlier today…”
“Come on! I didn’t order you to go into the office.”
“You sort of did,” I said. “And you were really rude at lunchtime when I came in to speak with you and you said you were busy.”
“I was busy!”
“You were laughing and talking with those guys!”
“That’s what it looked like to you, but it’s more than that.”
“Oh, please.”
He sighed and muttered under his breath. “Do you know what those guys think of me?” I didn’t answer because I didn’t care.
“They think I’m some rich foreigner who thinks I’m better than they are. If I have to get them to think otherwise I have to work as hard as they do, talk like them and with them, okay? Do you think I need to be out here every day doing this work?”
“This is what I don’t understand, Drew. Why is it so important that everybody likes you? It’s like you’re running for president or something.”
“I might want to do that someday. I told you that. And it’s not about people liking me. It’s about me doing something good for my country and gaining other people’s respect.”
What could I say to that? He was the noble statesman and I was just a whining woman.
“I don’t expect you to understand,” he said.
“Why, because I’m American?”
“No, because you’re a little spoiled and selfish.”
“Excuse me?”
It went further downhill from there.
“You think everything’s about you…. The whole world revolves around your needs, Amelia.”
“That is not true! I’m not the one who grew up with a maid at my beck and call.”
“You think that’s what makes a person spoiled? Try being so self-centered that you feel threatened by a housekeeper doing her job!”
The housekeeper? Celeste? Why was he bringing that up?
“She…I’m not threatened by her. I told you I could do the cleaning while I’m here.”
“You said you didn’t feel comfortable around her.”
“Sorry, but I don’t. She’s weird.”
“She’s weird? She needs that job, Amelia. Did you ever think about that?”
Actually, I had. Once I’d met Celestine and George I’d stopped asking him that he give Celeste the rest of the summer off.
“That’s the thing, Amelia. You don’t feel comfortable around her and other Dominicans. What do you think they’re gonna do to you? You don’t even like Jimmy Wilkes and he’s only seven! And you never talk to the neighbors.”
“What are you
talking about, Drew? I never even see your neighbors!”
“That’s because you never leave the house. It’s like you came down here to watch CNN and read.”
“I went out yesterday and I came out today, didn’t I?”
“And look what happened. Maybe you should have stayed in….”
That really hurt. I shut up then. I wanted to cry, and I wouldn’t do it in front of him. He would only think me even more self-centered and narcissistic. Ugh! Where did he get off? Mister-I-have-to-run-thirty-miles-a-week-else-I’ll-go-insane?”
We drove the rest of the way home in silence. That fight had been like a hurricane—forceful, loud, and destructive. The eye passed over during dinner; he ate, but I didn’t. Then the winds started up again when Vanessa called and he spent a half hour on the phone with her, outside on the porch, where I couldn’t hear him vilifying me.
“What did Vanessa say about me?” I asked.
“Just go to bed, Amelia. I don’t want to deal with this anymore.”
“Mama’s boy,” I muttered and walked off to the bedroom.
He snickered. “That’s funny coming from you. You can’t even take a vacation without worrying about who’ll buy your mom’s groceries.”
“My mother’s none of your business!”
“You have some serious issues, Amelia.” And the way he said that made me want to hit him. I ran to the room instead. How could he be so mean? Didn’t he just propose to me this morning? Did he want his ring back?
I heard him leave a few minutes later. He probably spent the night at Vanessa’s, probably cradled in her arms. Mama’s boy.
Chapter 26
“So you got engaged and then promptly got into a huge fight,” Whitney said. “How romantic.”
“I hope I’m not making a huge mistake,” I said.
“Ah well. He might be a good starter husband,” she said.
“Whitney, I’m being serious. He might want his ring back after last night anyway. I can’t believe I called him a mama’s boy.”
“You’ve been thinking it for a good few months now.”
“It’s just that he can be so dense sometimes. I mean, like the way he was keeping the ring in his glove compartment. And then he’s so…. Ugh! It’s like he needs adoration from everyone he comes in contact with.”
Letting Loose Page 18
