by London Casey
I grabbed his hand. “She’s going to be okay. And I want to be there with you. For you. I want to meet her.”
Maddox gritted his teeth. “I don’t want to be an asshole, sugar, but you’ve got a minute and then I’m leaving.”
“Okay.”
I opened the door and Maddox grabbed for me. “Hazel. Thank you.”
I dove out of the truck.
My heart was pounding.
One of his great aunt Ada’s friends had been trying to call her but couldn’t get a hold of her. So, she went to the house and found Ada on the floor. She called for an ambulance and was rushed to the hospital. Her friend that called Maddox said that she was breathing and that it didn’t appear to be a stroke or heart attack. Which was good, but the poor woman was still in the hospital.
I went into my apartment and grabbed two things.
A bag of clothes, which I always had packed. (Thanks to Mitch, I was already prepared to go on the run.) And then I grabbed my camera.
A little bit out of habit but mostly out of care. Maddox’s great aunt Ada had been the woman that raised him when nobody else would. If there were moments to capture, then I wanted to be the one to capture them. My gift to Maddox for listening to me and accepting who I was.
Even if I didn’t get a chance to tell him my darkest secret yet.
Maddox held my hand as we walked the halls to find her room. We were met by a doctor as he emerged from the hospital room. A tall man, Maddox’s height, but very skinny with dark hair, a clean cut face, and a pair of small, black glasses.
“Ada in there?” he asked.
“Yes. And you are?”
“Family,” Maddox said. “I’m her…she raised me. And this is Hazel. Family. Tell me what’s happening, Doc.”
“Right. Okay. Well, your…”
“Great aunt,” Maddox said.
“Great aunt,” the doctor repeated. “She has pneumonia. Pretty bad, too. It can be a very dangerous thing for a young, healthy person. The older we get, the worse it can be and the harder it can be to fight. Chances are, she’s been sick for a little while. Probably just thought it was a cold. Her friend found her on the floor. She was suffering from severe dehydration, confusion, weakness, and a fever.”
“Shit,” Maddox said. “What happens now?”
“Well, we have her somewhat stabilized.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“It means we gave her medicine to help her rest. She’s on an antibiotic but we have to make sure it doesn’t do harm to her body. We’d like to put her on more medication to ease everything but it’s up to her body to decide. I’m sorry, but there’s a lot of fluid in her lungs and based on her age…”
“She’s a fighter, Doc,” Maddox said. “Don’t you dare think for a second she’s not.”
“I would never,” the doctor said. “When we got her comfortable and alert to understand what was happening, the first thing she did was ask if she missed the ten o’clock news. And she demanded a cup of coffee.”
“Black, one small sugar,” Maddox said.
“Yes,” the doctor said.
I watched, taking it all in. I felt strange being there but Maddox hadn’t released his grip on my hand. I felt needed. Wanted. And I wasn’t going to let him down.
“You can go visit her but she’s sleeping. Heavily medicated. You’re more than welcome to stay the night. We’re going to closely monitor her vitals every hour. We’ll run more tests in the morning. As long as she responds to the medicines, that’s the key. She responds and her body can handle it. The last thing we want is to cause any further harm to her body.”
“But it’s just pneumonia? Nothing heart-related? Nothing?”
“Everything else seems okay,” the doctor said. “But, again, I cannot stress enough how serious pneumonia is for someone of her age. So, keep her in good spirits and let’s check on her in the morning again.”
“Thanks, Doc,” Maddox said.
They shook hands and Maddox moved to the door.
We entered the hospital room and chills went up and down my spine. I didn’t know anyone that liked hospitals. The room was quiet other than the machines beeping. There was a smell to it. Clean, yes, but something else. The lingering memories of what else happened in that hospital over the days, weeks, and years.
Maddox let my hand go when he saw his great aunt in the bed. He made fists and put them near his mouth. His version of shock, I supposed.
She was a beautiful woman, too.
She had thinned white hair that was puffy, probably against her own will at this point considering her condition. Her face was aged, kissed by time, but that was perfectly fine. I could see a faint resemblance to Maddox in her cheeks and ears, as strange as it was. She honestly looked peaceful, almost too peaceful.
I got the eerie feeling that I was at a funeral and not a hospital.
“She’s beautiful,” I whispered to Maddox.
“Yes, she is,” he said. He reached for his great aunt, touching her cheek. “Ada, it’s Maddox. I got here. Bev called me to let me know you weren’t feeling all that great. I’m glad you got here. Get some medicine and some rest. Doctor said you probably weren’t feeling good for a little while. I know you don't want me to tell you when you’re stubborn, but you’re stubborn. You can hit me with a hanger later.”
“Hit you with a hanger?” I asked.
Maddox looked back and smiled. “Yeah. That was her favorite thing. Well, a way to punish me. She would smack me with a metal hanger. Not that I didn’t deserve it every time she did it. But they’d always bend and then she’d get mad at me for that. I wasn’t the easiest person to deal with.”
“I can see that,” I said.
“What do I do right now, Hazel?”
“You stay and wait for her to wake up and go home,” I said.
“Sleep in a hospital room,” he said. “With you here? You should head back. I’ll give you my truck. Go get some real rest.”
I stepped forward and touched Maddox’s arm. “Maddox, I want to be here. For you. This means something to me. I want you to know that. I care about you.”
Maddox slipped an arm around me. He pulled me close and kissed me. “Tell you what. Let me check with the nurses and then we’ll go to her house. I’ll show you my old bedroom and we can get some rest. Come back in the morning.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. She’s resting. I don’t want to be in the way. I just want to make sure they have my number in case something happens. Her house is only a few minutes away.”
“Okay. If you say so, Maddox.”
“Can I get a minute here?” he asked.
“Of course,” I said. “Please don’t rush for me. Okay?”
He nodded.
I slipped out of the hospital room and waited in the hallway. I casually strolled to the end where there was a large window. Outside everything was black except for the occasional flash of red from a cell phone tower.
I took it all in. What was happening between myself and Maddox.
It was real.
Deeply real.
I looked over my shoulder just in time to see him coming out of the hospital room.
Pinching the bridge of his nose.
Then he looked at me.
He was vulnerable. And something told me that’s why he didn’t like his picture taken. Because something happened to him that made him vulnerable.
I smiled and gave a wave.
Maddox waved and then turned away to go find the nurses’ station.
I watched him walk away with one thought in my head.
There goes the man I love, and I hope he loves me after he finds out who I really am.
32
MADDOX
YEARS AGO
I remembered standing on the front porch and watching the door open slowly. Great Aunt Ada probably thought she was going to look down at me but I was already taller than her.
“You got some respect, son?” she
asked me.
“Yes,” I said.
“Good. I’ll give it to you once this time. After that, you earn it.”
She was far too old to be taking care of me. But she worked her ass to make it happen. It was weird for me. To have someone care. To have someone check in on me, ask me about life, yell at me when I got out of line. And she wasn’t afraid to give me a little smack when I needed it here and there.
She popped into my mind as I washed my hands in a sink at a local dive bar. I watched the blood gush from my knuckles. It had been a minute now and I was still bleeding. Leave it to Night to pick a damn fight when we snuck into a bar and didn’t get carded. We had free range to play. Sit at the bar, order a drink, hit on women. Real women. See where the night would go.
Something happened and I didn’t get a chance to figure it out. One second I was sitting there sipping a beer and the next second I heard a commotion and turned to see Night throwing a guy over a pool table. I charged the scene to help him only to get sucker punched in the jaw. My fuse was short to begin with. So, I turned and swung. I wasn’t sure if I hit the guy that hit me.
Then it became a brawl.
Me and Night taking on four guys.
Punch after punch, working our way out of a big jam, but coming out on top.
We chased the four guys away. We looked to the bar and saw everyone looking at us. That’s when Night reached into his pocket and took out a hundred-dollar bill.
“Drinks on me and my friend!” he called out.
Half the bar cheered, the other half didn’t.
I saw then my knuckles were really ripped up. Night told me that happened when you hit someone’s tooth. But that was good because if you were bleeding, they were bleeding and would probably lose the tooth.
That’s what it all had come down to for me.
Fighting for no reason.
Drinking in a bar where I didn’t belong.
Washing blood off my hands.
When my hands were finally clean, I had the urge to call her. She was home, asleep, protected by the last few strands of innocence her mother and stepfather demanded of her.
But I wanted to hear her voice. She could sooth me. She could make me feel less guilty about the damn fight.
I exited the bathroom and Night was leaning against the bar, sharing his new war story. He looked at me and waved for me, motioning to the women surrounding him.
I had no interest.
I wasn’t that kind of guy. I had someone in my life and that was that. No way I was going to cheat and mess up what I had.
So, I left the bar.
I walked home, alone, in the dark, a little after one in the morning. I probably should have been in jail. Fighting. Underage drinking. A nice list of charges to deal with.
But I got away. Until I got home.
I opened the door as slowly and quietly as it would allow. It took me damn near five minutes to get into the house. Five seconds later, a lamp flicked on. There sat Great Aunt Ada, a bottle of whiskey next to her.
“Holy shit,” I whispered.
“You use those two words together again, son, and I’ll make you eat a bar of damn soap.”
“Sorry.”
“One in the morning.”
“I’m not a kid.”
“You’re under my roof still.”
“I’m saving to get my own place. Soon.”
“You’re under my roof still.”
“Right. Sorry.”
“You stink like a bar. And you’ve got blood on your hands. Let me ask you, Maddox, are you proud?”
“Proud?”
“Look at yourself. Are you proud?”
I swallowed hard.
Great Aunt Ada could take few words and really cut into someone. But she did it with heart.
“Not really,” I said.
“Well, good. Hopping around town like a damn fool isn’t going to get you anywhere. You think a real woman wants that kind of man?”
“I have someone.”
“Where is she now?”
“Home. Sleeping.”
“Not out with you?”
“She’s not allowed out with me.”
“Because you act like…”
“A damn fool,” I whispered.
Great Aunt Ada reached for the whiskey bottle and drank right from it. I’d never seen her do that. Then she pointed to the couch.
I took a seat.
“Today is twenty-three years since I lost my husband. My William.”
“Oh, damn,” I said. “I’m sorry…”
“No. This is my day. Not a day for everyone to come and hug me and tell it’ll be okay. This is my day. This was his favorite drink. And he always drank from the bottle. Twenty years, Maddox. I could still smell him. I could still taste his lips as though we just kissed. That’s what real is, Maddox. The realness of the world is waiting for you. You’re right. You’re not a kid. You’re a legal adult. I can’t do a damn thing anymore. And I couldn’t do a damn thing back then either. But I love you, Maddox. I want you to be happy. Not to force yourself through life. Or a career. Or money and debt. Or even in love. I want you to be happy. Now, you’re not happy right now. Fighting in a bar. Fighting over what, I bet you don’t even know.”
“I don’t know,” I said. “My friend got into a fight and I was helping him out.”
“See where that gets you when someone gets hurt for real. Hmm?”
“I know. It was dumb.”
Great Aunt Ada handed me the whiskey bottle. “Drink to your great uncle William.”
That was the first time I ever drank whiskey with Great Aunt Ada. And the only other times I did the same was on the anniversary of Great Uncle William’s death. She showed me some pictures, told me stories about their crazy love, forever depicting the notion that whatever they show on TV and in movies is all bullshit. That love is hard. Love isn’t always kind. But if you find the right kind of love it’s worth anything that happens.
When it was three in the morning, I was a little drunk and Great Aunt Ada started to get giddy.
She grabbed the arms of the chair and forced herself to stand. I saw her body instantly sway to the left as she had no balance at all.
I jumped to her rescue and grabbed her.
“I guess I honored too much this year,” she said.
“That’s okay,” I said. “I’m really sorry about making you worried all the time. Life hasn’t been easy for me. And sometimes I get mad about that. You see other people…”
“To hell with other people, Maddox,” she said. “You never ever compare yourself to other people. You hear me? You are who you are for a reason.”
“All that talk about love, is that because of me and-”
“You really think you love that girl?”
“I think I do.”
“Thinking means you’re not ready yet. That’s okay, too. Your great uncle William, oh, he drove me crazy. In today’s terms, I guess it would have been considered stalking. But he was always there when I needed someone there. And finally, I realized that man was always going to be there. I guess what I mean, Maddox, is that you’re at a bar, drinking, getting into a fight, coming back here, forever talking about this girl, but never actually doing something.”
Great Aunt Ada cut deep and then I helped her to her room.
I sat in my room until the sun came up, sipping whiskey, keeping my buzz alive.
I did love her. I had a connection with her. I didn’t think about the rest of my life. I didn’t want to. I didn’t need to. Fine, maybe she and I weren’t meant to be together forever, but I wasn’t asking for forever.
Even still, I couldn’t imagine not having her.
So, I told myself I would be there.
Always be there.
Until the end.
I just didn’t know the end would include her jumping to her death…
33
MADDOX
PRESENT DAY
It was a whirlwind of a week.
Traveling from St. Skin to my place for a change of clothes then back over to the old hometown to either visit Great Aunt Ada at the hospital or check on her house. She was insistent that something was going to go wrong at the house. She was the kind of woman who grew up with the understanding that what was yours needed to be yours. Meaning you didn’t give things up. She hid money in places in the house you’d never expect. A random coffee mug in the glass case. Money sewed into the curtains. Envelopes under the mattress in the guest room filled with thousands of dollars.
So, she had a point about being nervous about someone coming into her house.
Just the fact that she was obsessed with that and knew where the money was told me she was going to be just fine. Which she was. She woke up like a ball of energy and demanded to go home. But she wasn’t in the clear that quickly. There was still fluid in her lungs and doctors weren’t going to let her go home until that was cleared up. And in fact, the doctors were talking about transferring her to an assisted living facility just to monitor her for months.
Months.
There was no way Great Aunt Ada could live in a different place like that for months.
No matter where I went, Hazel was with me.
Standing next to me, holding my hand, touching my back, most of the time not even talking, but just there. Finally, for some reason, walking down the hallway one afternoon, I stopped and realized it. I was tired, hungry, wanted a damn drink, and just needed a fucking break. Tate was up everyone’s ass about the new shop, looking at blueprints, getting ideas, and just being fucking annoying. I was on edge, but in that moment when I stopped and looked at Hazel, I thought back to that one night Great Aunt Ada had me shooting whiskey with her, talking about love.
I had been on the verge of nineteen, on the verge of spiraling out of control, and that night Great Aunt Ada saved my ass again.
I realized that Hazel had been by my side no matter what. Not quite stalking me, but face it, she had been the one taking pictures of me without my consent.
