‘I was still groggy, and in shock. I wasn’t thinking straight. But then I think a part of me hoped they’d come around, that they’d actually come to see their beautiful granddaughter.’
‘It wouldn’t have made a difference.’ He gritted his teeth.
‘No, it didn’t,’ Evie acknowledged sadly. ‘They told me a family was the last thing you needed. And the last thing the baby and I would ultimately want. That we’d end up making each other feel trapped and miserable and that taking the money for my baby would be best for all of us, in the long term. They sounded so convincing.’
‘Because that’s truly what they would have believed.’ Max knitted his brows together, not sure how to explain it to someone who had grown up in such a loving, close-knit family unit.
‘They were so...calculated.’ She stopped abruptly. ‘Sorry.’
‘I told you, they don’t consult anyone else, they would have simply decided what they felt was in everyone’s best interests and then acted accordingly,’ he said flatly. ‘They will never be able to understand the indescribable pleasure I get from my daughter. Before I met Imogen, even I thought being a surgeon would always be the most important thing in my life but I was owed the right to make my own choices. You owed me that much.’
‘And you blame me for denying you that choice?’
‘Yes,’ he hissed. ‘You kept my daughter from me. You kept your kidney condition from me. You listened to me telling you about my childhood and the way I instigated fights just so that I had a label for the pain I was feeling growing up. And still you never said a word.’
‘Because I was frightened, Max.’
‘That’s it? Fear is your excuse for every decision you made?’
‘Yes, because I was frightened for my own future health and I was frightened for Imogen’s. I was frightened, I was desperate and I was exhausted. The dialysis had taken it out of me and I was staring mortality in the face whilst a tiny, helpless baby was relying on me to get her through her own life. I took the money because I knew it would provide for her if anything happened to me.’
She took a faltering step towards him, her hands outstretched before checking herself. ‘I never touched a penny of it, though. You have to believe that, Max. I set up a proper trust for Imogen. It’s all her money. It always would have been.’
‘I believe you,’ he bit out, the closest he could get to reassuring her.
The fact was, it didn’t even matter any more.
The white-hot anger that had initially coursed through him was already beginning to recede. It wasn’t about the cheque any more. It wasn’t about the money at all. Part of him even felt for Evie, how his parents’ reaction must have looked to her. But he still couldn’t forgive her for the fact that she’d lied to him.
She’d made every decision unilaterally, impacting on him without him even knowing about it, let alone having any say. And then she’d listened to him tell her about his childhood, about his parents, about his difficult relationship with them, and yet she’d never uttered a word. She’d known about them, met them for herself, and yet whilst he’d been confiding the secrets he’d never told another living soul she’d still kept such a huge secret from him.
That was why he couldn’t forgive her.
Max stood, his back to Evie, unable to move a muscle. Even his jaw was locked, preventing him from answering.
For years he’d told himself he would never allow anyone to get close enough to hurt him. The way his parents had.
Never letting himself get close to anyone had been the only way Max had known to protect himself, and to protect others. He’d become used to being alone, felt safe and protected with a buffer between himself and any other person. He’d had no reason to doubt that he’d be as cold a spouse and parent as his own parents had been.
And then Evangeline Parker had come along to sneak under his skin, bringing with her the most precious gift he had never imagined, in Imogen. He’d let her in, trusted her, been prepared to change his life for her. And now he felt more alone than he had in his life.
‘You have to understand why I took the money, Max.’ Evie’s quietly distraught voice dragged him back to the present.
Even the tears shining in rivers down her cheeks didn’t touch him now. He couldn’t afford to let them.
‘Believe it or not, I do understand why,’ Max grated out. The anger was receding now, leaving him with a dull ache.
And a void.
‘Then we can work through this?’ she breathed hopefully.
He shook his head.
‘I’m here for Imogen. I’ll always be here for her—she’s my daughter. But as for you and I, there is no longer any we.’
‘You just said you understood.’ She choked back a sob, and he could see her struggle to stay in control, refusing to break down in front of him.
Part of him could even admire her for it. A lesser woman might have cried and yelled and begged.
‘I understand you were frightened for your future. You had no idea if the transplant would be successful and you wanted to secure our daughter’s future in the event that you weren’t able to pull through.’
‘And I didn’t know you well enough. When your parents told me you wouldn’t want to know about a child, I had no reason to distrust them.’
‘I understand that, too. We had a week-long fling. Neither of us had any idea that Imogen would be the result of it.’
Evie bobbed her head, her hair bouncing wildly in her confusion.
‘So you understand why I did it, even if I didn’t go about it the right way?’
‘Yes. But what I don’t understand—what I can’t forgive—is that you continued to keep it from me.’
‘I was scared. I’m sorry,’ Evie cried. ‘I wanted to tell you. I tried so many times. But it never seemed like the right time.’
‘It would never have been the right time, Evie. But the closest right time would have been when I found out I had a daughter you’d been keeping from me. Or when I asked you and Imogen to move in with me here. Or when I told you everything my parents put me through as a kid.’
‘Stop. Please.’ Evie held up her hand, a distraught expression clouding her features. ‘You’re right and I’m so, so sorry I never said anything then.’
‘What I can’t accept is that you probably never would have told me.’
‘I would have. Somehow.’ She shook her head in despair. ‘I was intending to tonight. Remember?’
Yes, he remembered. But that didn’t mean anything.
He’d been ready to marry Evie. To make them a proper family, once and for all. Now it was all lost.
He turned for the door.
‘I’m going into the hospital after all. I’ll drop you off at the house and I’ll leave straight from there.’
‘Please, Max. Can’t we just talk about this?’
‘I don’t want to waste my time. Or yours. And I don’t want to risk saying something that either of us will regret.’
‘When will you be back?’
‘In a few days.’ That should give him enough time to think.
‘Fine,’ she said dully. ‘Then we’ll be gone by the time you get back.’
Max sucked in a breath and turned around.
‘Gone?’
‘If you can’t forgive me, then it’s the best thing, isn’t it?’
The last scars of his childhood, which had taken so long to heal but had finally knitted over, were ripped open by Evie’s words. He would never heal the same way again. He wanted to tell her no, that he wasn’t ready for that. But she was right, it was the only way, and he had to find a way to move past this in order to have a future with his daughter.
‘The best thing. We will need to discuss custody of Imogen, too,’ he bit out. ‘Shared custody. I won’t b
e just a weekend father to her, Evie.’
‘Fine.’ There was a desolation in that single syllable that cracked his heart. ‘Then I won’t be there by the time you get home.’
Max gave a curt nod, unable to speak.
Home? That house would never feel like a home to him again.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
‘IT’S HEALING NICELY.’ Max inspected Sally’s new graft. It was good work, maybe some of his best yet. The scars would always be there, but they were no longer the marks of her self-harming years. People wouldn’t look at her and judge her, condemn her.
‘What’s happened between you and the doc—why is she back staying with Annie, not you?’ Sally cut across him. ‘I saw her before she left and she looked worse than she ever did, even with her kidney and the baby, and that’s saying something.’
‘It’s private.’ Max glared at the young woman. The last thing he wanted to do was rake over the crippling pain he’d been fighting against ever since Evie and Imogen had left.
‘Which means you’re trying to pretend everything’s okay.’
Nothing was okay. But this wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have, even if he was getting the impression Sally didn’t care what he wanted. His heart plummeted into his new black trainers. Everything was new since Evie and Imogen had gone. Too many memories.
Sally pressed on regardless. ‘I think you ought to cut Evie some slack.’
‘She told you that, did she? Shouldn’t surprise me.’
‘No.’ The woman clicked her tongue disapprovingly. ‘Of course she didn’t. She won’t tell anyone a thing. But I know, whatever it is, she’s blaming herself entirely.’
Despite everything a shaft of pain lanced through him. Evie had already been through more than most people would ever have to endure. He couldn’t do anything about the failed situation between the two of them, she had hurt him more than he’d ever thought possible, but that didn’t mean he wished any more grief on Evie.
‘Well, then, there’s no more to say.’ Max tried to shut the conversation down but Sally wasn’t so easily deterred.
‘There is more to say. I’m guessing that, whatever it is, it’s something to do with that baby of yours. And the doc loves that little girl with all her heart. Whatever she did, she’ll have done with her child’s best interests at heart.’
‘Sally—’ Max began warningly. He might have known someone who’d been through all this young woman had wasn’t about to be intimidated.
‘I can see that you’re a posh boy, from a good family. I bet you’ve got parents who would have done anything for you. So isn’t it a good thing that Evie’s willing to fight for her daughter so that she gets the same chance in life to end up like her doctor mum or surgeon dad? And not someone who didn’t have anyone wanting or fighting for them and ends up like me?’
‘You had Evie fighting for you. And look at what you’ve managed to achieve for yourself,’ Max answered before his brain could kick into gear.
He didn’t need to see the smug look on Sally’s face to know he’d just stepped right into her cleverly laid trap.
‘See, deep down you really do know that the doc’s one of the good guys. And when I didn’t give you the chance to second-guess yourself, your instinct made you stand up for her.’
Max opened his mouth, wanting to tell Sally it was none of her business. Ironic that she should be so perceptive in how he felt about Evie, yet so wrong about his childhood being so different from her own. But he stopped.
She was right about one thing. It was better that Imogen had someone like Evie, who showered her with love and affection every single day, and was willing to risk everything to protect her. Two things. He had instinctively thought well of Evie.
When it came down to a straight choice between him and her daughter, Evie had protected Imogen. Her baby would always come first. Just as he now knew he would put Imogen first if it came down to a choice between his career, and his daughter.
But that didn’t stop it from being painful thinking about the way Evie had hurt him.
Although, thanks to Sally’s interference, he was starting to wonder if he was looking at it all wrong.
‘Thank you, Sally. Most enlightening,’ he managed dryly, before stepping around her to open his consulting-room door. ‘Now, if you don’t have any more questions about your own post-op progress, I’ll see you at your next appointment.’
‘Fine.’ Sally clicked her tongue again. ‘Just think about it, okay? I think you and the doc made a great couple. And I don’t like to see her so miserable.’
‘Goodbye, Sally,’ Max said firmly, ushering her out and closing the door behind her with relief. But the thoughts still crowded into his head, as if Sally had jimmied the floodgates open and now he couldn’t secure them back again.
When it was time to scrub in for his next surgery, he’d never felt so relieved. He desperately needed something else on which to focus all his energy.
* * *
He was a first-class jackass.
It was Max’s first thought as he walked out of the OR to scrub out several hours later. The operation had gone better than he could have planned, yet the only thing on his mind was getting out of here, climbing into his car and going to win Evie back.
Sally was right, even though she didn’t know it.
He’d been prepared to forgive his parents for the way they had approached Evie because they assumed he was like them—that his career would be more important to him than his daughter ever could.
They couldn’t have been more wrong, and yet he was prepared to forgive them.
Yet Evie, who had tried to protect her own daughter in exactly the same way, was bearing the brunt of his anger. Because he loved her, and so she had an ability to hurt him far more than anyone else ever would.
He was punishing her for being the kind of mother, the kind of partner, he most wanted her to be. The kind who was passionate about those she cared for, and wasn’t afraid to show it.
Now he had to show her that he could be the same way. Because Evie—and indeed Imogen—were integral to his happiness, and it was time to bring them home. If they’d let him.
Grabbing the quickest shower of his life, Max dressed and headed to his office.
His phone rang as he slung his bag over his shoulder and headed for his car, but he ignored it. It didn’t matter who it was, he couldn’t afford to be distracted. All that mattered was getting to Evie, as fast and as safely as he possibly could.
It was only when he was outside Annie’s house, plunged into pitch-blackness, when he retrieved his phone to call Evie and find out just where she was, that he saw the missed call was from Annie.
With uncharacteristically shaky hands, he punched the redial button and waited for the call to pick up.
As he listened to the calm but concise voice on the other end, he felt his whole world fall apart.
‘I only saw Evie a few days ago, how can she be showing signs of B-cell rejection?’
* * *
Evie heard his voice, thick with emotion, through Annie’s speakerphone.
‘How can she be showing signs of B-cell rejection?’
Evie shifted in the hospital chair, trying not to let herself react to the tone of his voice. His evident concern was heartening but it was only natural given how much he had grown to care for his daughter and therefore, by extension, Evie as Imogen’s mother. Such concern didn’t mean he forgave her, or that he loved her.
‘Overnight she started coming down with flu-like symptoms, aching around the kidney site, and she had increased urine output.’
Evie heard Annie try to deliver the information in as clipped a tone as she could over the phone, trying to control her emotions in order to stay businesslike. It was so un-Annie-like that Evie couldn’t help a weak smile
of affection at the effort her sister-in-law was trying to go to, just to keep Max informed without asking the question she was clearly dying to ask.
Are you going to come down and see her?
A part of Evie longed to ask the same question herself, but she knew what Max’s answer would be and she didn’t think she could take another rejection.
‘Do they know for sure it’s rejection?’ he demanded sharply over the speakerphone.
‘They performed some tests and the creatinine test showed rejection was likely so they’ve performed a core biopsy.’
‘Is she on bed rest in the outpatients whilst they wait for the results?’
‘Yes.’
‘And if it’s confirmed, what’s the procedure?’
‘What?’
‘Annie,’ Max snapped, his voice cracking over the line, ‘if they determine that it is rejection, what will they opt for? Additional plasmapheresis and IVIG sessions?’
‘I’m not sure.’ Annie glanced desperately at her.
Evie clenched her hands around the covers, trying to calm the lurch of her heart that Max should sound so frantic and un-surgeon-like. Almost like any other relative of a patient, concerned for their loved one.
She shook her head. Now she was just being foolish.
‘No,’ Annie said as Evie realised her sister-in-law had mistaken her headshake for rebuttal.
‘Sorry, sorry,’ Evie cried. ‘Yes, they’ll probably look at additional plasmapheresis and IVIG as a first port of call.’
‘Evie?’ Max’s voice reverberated around the room. ‘Can you hear me? Just hold on, I’m going to end this call so I can phone your Transfer team down there and get some more information. Okay?’
Evie couldn’t meet Annie’s gaze as she tried not to let her emotions show, but she was sure the whole hospital could hear her heart hammering a military drum tattoo inside her chest.
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