by Merry Farmer
“Kinn thinks I’m too young to screw,” Heather informed Stacey and continued chomping on her drumstick.
A few chuckles followed her comment, some nervous, others less so. Grace squeezed her eyes shut and rubbed them before taking in a breath and going on.
“Kinn and his people have a lot of advancements that we don’t have.” There was no use in keeping it a secret. Heather snorted a laugh, proving her point. “They’ve built cabins, dug a well, constructed an oven. A lot of things.”
A hum of whispered comments followed her words.
“Great.” Beth took it in a positive light. “If they’ve figured out how to do all these things then we can learn from them and do it too.”
“Yeah,” Stacey agreed. “I mean, you and Kinn seem to get along just fine, unlike him and Kutrosky, so maybe we can form an alliance with him.”
Danny stepped up to Grace’s side and brushed the small of her back. She couldn’t tell her people the full truth, but she wouldn’t be able to keep it a secret from them forever.
“Maybe,” she glossed over the issue. “But our first priority should be maintaining neutrality. Kinn and Kutrosky have started a war, but we can’t….” She sighed, her words ringing hollowly in her head. Did she even believe them anymore? “We have to find a way to do what’s best for everybody without conflict. Peace comes first.”
“What about the cabins?” Beth asked. “I, for one, am tired of living in a tent.”
The others agreed with her in chorus.
“You said they have a well?” Rhiannon asked. “Is there a way we could build our cabins around independent wells, come up with some sort of crude indoor plumbing?”
“We would need to fashion some kind of pumping mechanism.” Dave scratched his beard as he thought aloud. “We don’t have the tools for that.”
“But we could make some kind of open well system within each house,” Rhiannon argued.
“And it wouldn’t be that difficult to dig some sort of a drainage system connecting the houses and bleeding into the river,” Beth joined in, brimming with excitement.
“Ah, but then we risk the hazards of open sewers.” Dave stood from his seat, eyes alive with ideas. “Unless Kinn’s people have figured out how to make pipes. They could show us.”
Grace lowered her head as the mood around the campfire buzzed with promise. She wondered what they would all think if they knew what the price of the cabins would be.
With a twist in her gut she realized they might not care. They would probably think it was a more than fair trade. It was bittersweet to see them all so excited, committed to a common cause. It was what she had wanted from the beginning. She’d gotten exactly what she wanted and it made her sick.
She raised her eyes slowly to see what Danny thought. He stared at the flickering campfire, jaw tense, eyes sad. He knew what she knew. Whatever happened tomorrow, it was worth the sacrifice.
Chapter Twelve – The Explosion
Grace awoke to the sound of singing. She didn’t recognize the tune, but the happy, out-of-key rendition tickled her to consciousness. She kept her eyes shut and listened. Danny’s arm was draped heavily over her side, his hand curling near the top of her stomach. She felt the steady rise and fall of his chest against her back, the muscle of his thigh against her leg. A flock of birds twittered along with the singer. For one early-morning moment everything was all right. She was safe. The future was full of possibility.
Then she remembered.
She sucked in a breath. Peace fled under the crushing burden of responsibility. Her eyes opened to the dim light of the cave.
Danny stirred as she twisted in his arms and bumped him. He blinked, grunted, rubbed his eyes, and focused on her. He smiled.
“Did you sleep well?” He brushed her hair back over her bare shoulder, trying and failing to hold on to some sense of tranquil domesticity.
She nodded yes and pulled closer to kiss him. One tiny moment was all they could have and it was already over.
She turned away and crawled out of the fur that covered them as he reached for his glasses. A bowl half-filled with water sat near the bend in the cave. She edged around the ashes of the burnt-out fire to sit in front of it and scrub water over her face. All she could think as she wiped water from her eyes and scooped a few handfuls over her shoulders was that Kinn’s people had probably worked out how to construct showers.
“Say the word and I’ll make all of this go away,” Danny spoke with infinite tenderness. He climbed out of bed and reached for his clothes.
“You can’t,” Grace answered.
“I can and I will.” He pulled his pants on and attempted to shift into her line of sight.
She leaned away and took a chamois from the top of her mysterious wooden box. She should open it. Maybe it was a miracle that could save them all, save her. No. She pushed it under the bear skin. It was too late now for miracles, too late to dredge up mysteries of the past. Anything inside of that box would only hold her to a past too painful to remember.
Danny sighed beside her and went back to his clothes as she dipped the chamois in the water to wash her sore body. He finished dressing and knelt beside her.
“We can run.” He traced his fingers along the side of her face. “We should run. None of this is worth losing the one thing that matters.”
She shook her head, turning to kiss his palm. “This is the one thing that matters.”
Her declaration sent a dark edge of frustration through his tenderness.
“Grace, I don’t care about ‘our people’ or building cabins or the gender balance or wars or The Terra Project. I never have. The only thing I’ve ever cared about is you.”
“And the only thing I’ve ever cared about is building a world better than the one I was raised in,” she answered before he could go on. “I can still build that, even if it’s not for me.”
He clenched his jaw, breathing out through his nose and glancing down. Then he raised his eyes to meet hers with steely determination. “I will never stop fighting for you, Grace, but don’t make me fight against you.”
She turned away from him with a bitter laugh. “I can’t imagine you fighting against me.”
“I do what I have to do.”
Every word he spoke warmed her heart and shattered it. She shoved her feet into her worn and faded boots. “One of us is a fool and a failure,” she murmured.
“You’re no fool, Grace.” He rested his hand over hers as she tied her laces.
Weak with worry, she glanced up to him. “But I am a failure.”
“Not yet. We still have this meeting with Kutrosky. It’s time we change tactics with him, time we switched to something he will understand. You have to trust me. It can all end today and you can have the world you want.”
In spite of the confidence in his words, Grace’s heart sank. She’d seen too much, fallen for too many tricks, to believe him anymore.
“I just want to get as many women as possible across the river and into Kinn’s village,” she said, standing. “Everyone would be better off on the other side of the river.”
“Not everyone,” Danny insisted, standing to face her. The dim cave light cast sharp shadows on his face. His eyes were nearly invisible behind his glasses.
“Almost everyone,” she told him. “You haven’t seen what I’ve seen.”
“I’ve seen enough.”
She loved him. She trusted him. It was all she had to go on.
It wasn’t enough.
She took his hand and kissed him before stepping out into the sunlight of the camp.
Well over half of her people were already up, sharing a breakfast of fruit from their orchard and porridge that had been made with wild grains. Grace received the usual good mornings as she helped herself to a plum and went to sit on a log by the fire pit, but there was something new in the way people greeted her and Danny. Their smiles were broader, their voices supportive. They expected something. They knew their lives were about to cha
nge. She wondered how they would greet her if they knew the price.
“We got everything we need?” Carrie plunked down on the log by Grace’s side, buzzing with energy.
Sean handed her a bowl of porridge and settled himself on the far end of the log.
Grace shrugged. “We’ve got everything we’re going to get.”
“Good.” She nodded. “I don’t want to spend any more time up there today than we have to. I hate that man.”
“Brian?”
“Yes.” Carrie’s expression darkened.
Grace frowned. “He’s an egotistical, bald adolescent with delusions of grandeur, but he’s not the one who deserves your hate.”
“You don’t know what I—”
Carrie stopped. She shoveled a spoonful of porridge in her mouth.
Grace waited, but Carrie chewed as though she had no intention of finishing her thought. Her cheeks burned red. Grace glanced past her to Sean, puzzled. Sean shrugged, as in the dark as she was.
“Anyone who would divvy up women between a bunch of men, keeping the most for himself is a creep,” Carrie finished.
“We’re going out there to put an end to that,” Grace told her.
Danny walked up to the log, handing Grace a cup of tea. His mouth was set in a small, hard line, his eyes equally cold. When he turned those eyes on Carrie, she met them with veiled understanding.
“I won’t let him hurt you, Grace,” Carrie vowed, glancing from Danny to her.
“Of course you won’t.” Grace took the tea from Danny.
“I mean it,” Carrie went on. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, the only friend I’ve had.”
Danny sat by Grace’s side, his thigh touching hers.
“I doubt that.” Grace smiled at her. It was the least she could do.
“It’s true. Your friendship means everything to me.” Carrie chewed her porridge as though her life depended on it. Tension radiated from her. “We can end this, you know. We can end all of it.”
“That’s what we intend to do,” Danny answered before Grace could say the same thing.
Carrie shifted closer. “It’s more than that.”
“That’s quite enough,” Danny cut her off.
Grace was startled by how harsh he was. He had every right to be upset about the situation they found themselves in, but she’d only ever known him to control his anger.
“However things go with Brian today, just remember why we’re doing this,” she said.
“Why are we doing this?” Sean grumbled from the end of the log.
“For each other.” Grace squeezed Danny’s thigh. He took her hand. “To bring peace and to create the world we wanted to see when we joined The Terra Project.”
They were silent. Not one of them smiled. No one believed her pretty words, least of all herself.
“You guys ready?” Stacey strolled up to them, Gil at her side.
Grace swallowed a gulp of tea and stood. “As I’ll ever be.”
Danny stood with her. “Let’s be sure to bring the white flag this time,” he said. “I don’t want them shooting at us before we get a chance to speak.”
Grace’s stomach churned.
Stacey laughed. “Already got it taken care of, Boss.”
She motioned to Gil, who held up a long stick with passably white cloth wrapped around one end. Against the white background someone had painted a branch with leaves like the trees surrounding their camp, the trees that reminded her of maples about to burst into fall color.
“Great, so we’re Canada now?” Carrie smirked.
As the tension cracked, Grace burst into giggles. They were the kind of giggles created by disaster.
“There’s nothing wrong with Canada,” she said.
“Yeah,” Sean agreed. “I’m from Canada, remember?”
“Oh yeah? Then you should carry the flag.” Stacey brightened.
Grace took a last bite of her plum and tossed the rest aside. If only the flag wasn’t a clear sign that they had disintegrated into their own nation.
“Never mind all that.” Carrie jumped to her feet. “It’s time to settle this hash, once and for all. Grace, before we go, I need to talk to you.”
“There isn’t time,” Danny stepped between them. He held out his hand to collect Grace’s teacup.
“Sorry, Carrie. We’ll talk when we get back.” Grace finished her tea, mourning the loss of the normal moment. “My compliments to the chef.” She passed the cup back to Danny as she stood.
“I’ve been working on a few new brews,” he told her. “Some a little more potent than others.” He shot a look at Carrie before taking Grace’s cup and several bowls away to be cleaned.
Carrie watched him go, chewing her lip. It was too much for Grace to see her brave friend so scared.
“Everything will be all right,” Grace told her, giving her a hug.
Carrie hugged her back with surprising strength. “I mean it, Grace. I won’t let anything happen to you. Whatever you were up to yesterday—”
“—is for the benefit of us all,” she ended Carrie’s sentence. She stepped back. “I’m doing all this for you, you know. I want you and Sean and your children, to live a good life.”
“I want that too,” Carrie continued to chew her lip, “but, Grace, are you sure?”
“Sure about what?”
“Are you sure that you want to start over here? Do you really want to scrape up something new on this moon? Because it’s not going to be easy.”
“Of course it’s not going to be easy.” Grace rubbed her friend’s arm, sending her an ironic grin. “But what choice do we have?”
“There’s always a choice.”
She looked as though she would say more but stopped when Danny strode back to them. Sean stood from the log and joined them.
“Are you ready?” Danny asked.
“Can I come with you?” Heather scurried up to them, eyes bright, bow ready.
“No,” Danny answered with one firm word.
“Oh, come on.” Heather followed when they walked away. “Please? I promise I won’t try to run away or cross the river or anything like that.”
Danny turned to arch an eyebrow at her and Heather’s large, hopeful eyes dropped. “The thought never crossed my mind.”
He glanced across the camp to the table where breakfast was laid out, catching Jonah’s eye. He tipped his head toward Heather. Jonah nodded subtly back. Sean witnessed the exchange, his expression falling to a bitter scowl as he slunk off to grab his pack.
“What was that all about?” Grace asked as she and Danny collected their backpack from the mouth of their cave.
“She needs a boyfriend,” he told her with a humorless drawl.
Grace didn’t know whether to laugh or tell him off. “Some father you are.”
He sent her a teasing grin. She hadn’t seen that expression from him in ages. It lightened her heart in spite of the weight of the world on it.
“She’ll be trouble until she’s found someone to keep her busy,” he explained as they hurried toward the path leading out of the camp where the others waited. “And contrary to what some people think, she’s not too young to screw.”
“Danny.” Grace’s eyes widened at the suggestion and she stopped. “She’s fifteen.”
He paused and turned back to her. “She’s precocious,” he said, then continued on to join the others.
Dread hit Grace as she fell in step behind him. “Daniel Thorne, so help me God, after all I’ve been through, if you tell that me you—”
“I walked in on her in flagrante,” he answered quickly, his tone switching from indignation to amusement and ending in a wry grin. “When I was called to her father’s office. The day before the explosion.”
Grace gaped. “Who on earth…with a fifteen-year-old girl….” She shut her mouth and shook her head. “I can’t think about that now. I really don’t want to think about that now.”
“No, you don’t.” He grinned and
took her hand. “And neither do I.”
Their party consisted of the three couples—Danny and Grace, Sean and Carrie, and Gil and Stacey—along with half a dozen of the men from their settlement who carried guns from the ship. Never mind that half the guns were out of ammunition. Grace had been dead set against going in armed, but she had been out-voted. Stacey in particular had been adamant that they show every bit as much strength as Kutrosky had tried to conceal from them last time they had entered his camp. He had stalked them from the shadows, this time they would come right out and let him know they meant business.
All of it filled Grace with a sense of imminent failure that went deeper than the surface of the mission. Brian needed to listen, to see reason and make concessions. His future depended on building a healthy civilization as much as anyone else’s. Why couldn’t he see that?
When they reached the last hill before the rocky field, they paused to rest and regroup at the stand of stones and trees where they had stopped on their first exploration.
“We all know what we’re doing?” Sean asked, still eager to assume the role of leader.
Grace spared him half a wary glance as Danny sat on the boulder by her side and handed her their canteen.
So many things would have been different if Sean had become the leader at the beginning. If she had let him. So many things would have changed if she hadn’t spoken up, contradicted him at the sentencing, and saved Brian’s life. So much would have been easier if she had let practicality instead of her ideals guide her. It was her own fault when all was said and done and she knew it now. Ideals got you killed, or worse. Only the selfish survived. What was keeping her from being selfish?
“Let Grace and Sean do the talking.” Danny was in the middle of speaking, repeating their strategy, when her attention shifted back to the moment. Her people stood watching him, looks of determination on their faces. He radiated command. “If he doesn’t take the bait right away, Gil, you explain the science of the situation to him.”
“Right.” Gil nodded, more focused than Grace for a change.
“Meanwhile, Carrie and Stacey will slip aside to talk to the women. Carefully. Don’t get caught.”
