by Gail Barrett
Knowing Pedro would expect him to do something rebellious for old-time’s sake, he roared out of the airstrip, pulling a wheelie, then hurtled down the dusty road. Damn, he loved that man.
But as the miles flew by and Pedro’s words sank in, his smile disappeared. Was Pedro right? Was he still running away from the past?
The viselike pressure in his chest increased. He forced his mind back to that run-down town, the power it had once wielded over his life, and the desperate need he’d had to escape.
Flying had filled that need, given him a way to flee the pain and forget the misery of his life.
He’d put most of that past behind him, but maybe Pedro was right. Maybe he hadn’t gotten rid of it all. Maybe he was still running, still avoiding getting hurt, still trying to escape a threat that didn’t exist. Like a hamster in a wheel, he was spinning around and around, trapped in the pain of the past.
And maybe it was time to find his way out.
Chapter 16
Five days had straggled past since she’d seen Coop, and Zoe could no longer ignore the truth. She missed him. Desperately. More than she could have dreamed.
She tossed the day’s mail on the mountain of letters on her kitchen table, and officially gave up the charade. She didn’t care about the mail. She didn’t care about finding another job. She didn’t care about much of anything these days except seeing Coop. It didn’t matter that she had a right to feel angry, or that he’d injured her pride. She just wanted him back. He had hurt her. She couldn’t deny that. But she’d done some heavy-duty soul searching during the past few days and made herself face some harsh facts. And truth number one was that no matter what he’d done, she wanted him in her life.
Abandoning the unopened envelopes, she left the kitchen, crossed the sunny living room to the window, and peered out. There was a small park on this side of the building, and she watched a group of mothers chatting, children playing and riding their bikes, a toddler running through a sprinkler swishing over the grass.
The corner of her mouth slid up. It was such a normal summer scene—ironic given how her life had fallen apart. But the changes hadn’t all been bad.
Because she’d realized something else during those sleepless nights. For years she’d suffered the fear that her world might collapse—that she might lose her grandfather, that she might discover that her parents had been traitors, that she might end up alone. The fear hadn’t been conscious, but she’d felt it pressing on her mind, molding the way she’d led her life.
And now the worst had happened. Her dreaded fears had come true. She’d had all her illusions shattered. She’d lost everyone she’d loved—her parents, her grandfather, Coop.
And she’d survived.
In fact, she felt strangely liberated. Even though she was alone now, even though she frantically missed Coop, an enormous burden had been lifted from her mind. She had faced down her fears and won.
Well, almost. She lowered herself to her sofa, rested her head against the cushions, and let out a sigh. She still had some issues to work through—the recurrent nightmares about those terrorists, the horror of how close they’d come to making that bomb, her conflicted feelings about her grandfather…
Whenever she thought of her grandfather, her emotions bounced from fury to pity to pain. What angered her most wasn’t that he’d stolen her work and committed crimes, but that he’d covered up her parents’ murder and blackened their names. And he’d let her shoulder that stigma for years, knowing that the charges were false.
Still, she’d loved him once, and it was hard to turn that feeling off. And while she doubted she’d ever forgive him, she hoped she’d eventually find a measure of peace.
Which brought her back to Coop.
She closed her eyes, the yearning for him aching inside. Because to be honest, she couldn’t blame him anymore. Sure, he could have told her the truth about his mission earlier, but she could understand why he’d lied. At first he didn’t know if he could trust her. He’d had his beloved career on the line. And later…
Frankly, when push came to shove, he’d helped her. Repeatedly. He’d risked his life again and again to save hers. What more could she possibly ask?
She loved him. She’d adored him eight years ago and was even crazier about him now. And no matter what she decided to do with her life, she wanted to share it with him.
But she would have to make the first move. She’d pushed him away and refused to talk—just as he once had done to her. So it was up to her to get him back.
She pressed her hand to her abdomen, a bundle of nerves breaking loose at the thought of baring her soul to Coop. The old insecurities reared up, kicking off a firestorm of doubts. What if he didn’t love her? What if she’d misjudged what he’d felt? What if she ended up looking like a fool?
But that was silly. She knew he loved her. She’d seen it in his eyes, felt it in his touch, even if he hadn’t said the words. Eight years ago, she’d let her grandfather drive him away. She wasn’t about to let her pride or insecurities ruin her chance for happiness now.
Her mind made up, she rose from the couch, tucked a loose strand of hair into her braid, and smoothed down her freshly ironed shorts. And then she realized she had no idea where he was. But Rider would know. Or Pedro. She suspected Coop would pay the old pilot a visit before he left town.
She picked up her purse and headed toward the door, anticipation fueling her steps. But then the doorbell rang, and she groaned. Now that she’d decided to go after Coop, she couldn’t bear the delay.
The bell rang again, her visitor’s impatience clear. “I’m coming,” she grumbled. Who could be in such a rush? She sure hoped that reporter wasn’t hounding her again. She’d given her statement to the press and had nothing more to say. The government would handle the rest.
She set down her purse and peered through the security peephole. Coop.
She went stock-still with her eye to the peephole. Her heart made a crazy lurch. He was here. He’d come to see her. Maybe she had a chance.
She stepped back, struggling to hold on to reason. He might be here on business. He might have come to say goodbye. But her heart refused to listen to her scolding head. No matter why he’d shown up, she wasn’t letting him leave until she’d asked him to stay.
She jerked open the door, and his granite eyes slammed into hers, the sensual jolt making her sway. She clung to the door, riveted by the intensity of his eyes, her mind wiped totally blank.
She stared at his slashing brows, his sexy mouth, the way the sunlight burnished his copper skin. He’d shaved, reducing his beard to an enticing shadow, and she curled her hands to keep from reaching for him.
And he gazed back at her, his expression somber, looked so virile, so sexy, so much like everything she’d ever dreamed of that she longed to hurl herself into his arms.
“Can I come in?” His husky voice rumbled through her nerves.
She shook herself free from her trance. “Yes, of course. I was just…”
Dreaming of you.
She moved away from the door. He strode past her into her apartment, his nearness stealing her breath. She shut the door and turned around, trying to get a grip on her scattered thoughts.
But his eyes held her spellbound, and she couldn’t rip her gaze from his face. Her heart kept flinging itself against her chest, like a prisoner trying to break free. “Do you want—”
“You.”
She blinked. “What?”
“I want you,” he said, his voice gravelly. He moved in close, erasing every thought in her head, the warmth of his body sapping her strength. Then he pulled her hard against him, weakening her even more.
“I need you,” he continued. “I know I lied about why I was at the airstrip. I know I screwed up and failed you again. And you probably don’t want me now…”
Not want him? Only more than she wanted to breathe.
She gazed into his eyes, saw everything she’d ever need. And a profound sense of
rightness filled her heart. “I love you, Coop.”
He expelled his breath, swept her even closer, and his mouth slanted over hers. His kiss was tender, gentle. And any doubts that might have lingered fled. This was love—real, abiding love—the kind she could count on to last.
The kiss heated, threatened to consume them both, but he eased away before it got out of hand. He pulled her head against his shoulder, his breath sawing in her ear, and the feeling of rightness in her heart ballooned.
“I was just about to go find you,” she admitted. “I wanted to ask you to give me a chance.”
He pulled back slightly, his eyes searching hers. And then he reached into his pocket, tugged out a ring, and her heart refused to beat.
“Marry me,” he rasped. “Love me forever.”
“Oh, Coop.” She blinked back tears. “I already do.”
He swallowed, making his Adam’s apple dip. “Are you sure? I can’t offer you much. You deserve someone better than me.”
She slipped the diamond ring on her finger, fisted her hand to hold it tight, knowing she’d found her perfect mate. “I want you, Coop. Only you. I always have.”
He kissed her again, until her head spun. She never wanted to stop.
But eventually he broke the kiss. “Wait. I need to tell you. I’m transferring to the Navy base at Fallon, teaching at the flight school there. They gave me my choice of tours.”
“You’ll be in Nevada?”
“For now.” His eyes stayed on hers. “But later on… I’ll get out of the Navy if you don’t want to move.”
She stared at him, dumbfounded. He would give up his career for her? “But you love to fly.”
He gave her a crooked smile, so honest and warm that it brought another rush of tears to her eyes. “Yeah, I love to fly, but I love you more. Flying was an escape for me, Zoe. And I don’t have anything to run from anymore. But I have every reason to stay.”
She couldn’t speak, stunned by the sacrifice he was willing to make. “I don’t want you to quit,” she whispered. “I resigned my job at the lab. There were too many ghosts there, and I couldn’t go back.”
He stroked her hair. “I’m sorry, Zoe.”
“Don’t be. I’ve received a lot of offers. You should see the pile of mail. I’ve been offered speaking engagements, teaching positions—even a place on a nuclear advisory board. That’s the job I’ll probably take. It might involve some travel, but I won’t be tied to a lab.”
“As long as you won’t be around terrorists. I couldn’t survive that again.” His eyes darkened. His hand trembled on her cheek. “God, Zoe. When I saw that gun pointed at your head… I was so damned scared.”
“I know. I have nightmares about that.” She shuddered and hugged him hard. “I’m so glad you found me there.”
For a moment, neither spoke. Zoe fought down the gruesome memories, hoping time would help them fade. “I’ve finally been cleared of all suspicion,” she added. “They found records in Ruegg’s home of his transactions. It was clear that I wasn’t involved.”
Coop nodded. “What did you do with the flash drive?”
“I drove to Lake Tahoe and tossed it in. It’s buried in the silt for eternity now.”
“Good.”
She searched his eyes. “That means it’s over, right?”
“Yeah. It’s finally over.”
But not their lives together. She gazed into his eyes, her heart full, drowning in love for this man. They’d suffered her grandfather’s manipulations, a plane crash, terrorists trying to kill them—and they’d survived.
And their love would endure, too. She didn’t have a single doubt.
She kissed him then, knowing that her happiness had just begun.
ISBN: 978-1-4268-5542-9
MELTDOWN
Copyright © 2010 by Gail Ellen Barrett
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