I knew she had dressers backstage helping her make the change, but I couldn’t understand how they were able to unbutton her shirt in fifteen seconds let alone give her a whole new outfit. Well, at one point, she asked Peter if she could run offstage in a blackout. When he asked her why, she said, “So I can save time and do this on my way offstage without the audience seeing,” and at that moment she ripped open her shirt! First of all, I was shocked seeing her in just a bra (they say that being an actor means losing all modesty), but I was most shocked because her button-down shirt wasn’t really a button-down. The front of it had buttons all the way down, but the opening was Velcroed together! Turns out, she didn’t have to unbutton all of those buttons to open it; she just had to rip it apart. So cool! Doing it on her way offstage saved precious seconds, and after forty-five minutes, they finally got the quick change right…and then the next tedium began. Suffice it to say, I had no problem leaving the theater at six when they were on their second hour trying to get the turntable onstage to stop on an exact beat in the music. I walked up to the front of the stage, waved goodbye to Chase, and walked to the uptown subway. Tomorrow would be different, because no matter what, the Gypsy run-through is happening at 6:00 p.m. and Chase invited me!
Oh yeah, let me explain: The term “Broadway Gypsy” refers to a singer/dancer who goes from show to show, traveling like a Gypsy. Before a Broadway show begins official previews, there’s usually a final dress rehearsal on a day and time when most other Broadway shows aren’t performing, so actors who are working can come and see the show. That’s why it’s called a Gypsy run-through. Tomorrow, the whole audience would be filled with Broadway insiders…and me!
I left the theater excited about the upcoming dinner and decided to make a mental list of my goals as I traveled uptown. This was a really big deal and I didn’t want to blow it. Dear Self, tonight I will solidify my dating relationship with Devon and not bring up the splitting headache he caused me all day long by sending relentless idiotic texts in code. By the solidification, the closeness of our relationship will also serve to make Spencer jealous and his obvious jealousy will hopefully cause Scotty to break up with him. P.S.: It’s not that I want Spencer back. I just don’t necessarily want him dating someone.
Back to my list: I will also reconnect with Becky and, if necessary, ask her to help with my Spencer/Scotty breakup plan. Plus, I will use the smarts of Becky and Spencer (ignoring Scotty) to help with the Hubert/Phantom mystery. As well as figure out some way to stop Chase from giving the performance in public he’s been doing in rehearsals.
Hmm…maybe I should be my own version of the Phantom and leave Chase a list of things he needs to stop doing. Number 1: Don’t do half a scene while standing offstage. Number 2: Don’t add a Spanish accent halfway through a serious song. “That’s Why I Love You” ends with him singing, “Das a-why I luf…a-jooooooo.” Of course, when you hear it, it sounds like he loves a Jew. I know my rabbi will like it, but who else? As I was coming up with the list, I realized that eliminating those things wouldn’t make him suddenly have a good voice or know how to act onstage. He may simply be one of those people who should never, ever be in a musical. No matter what, though, I was determined to see the first performance tomorrow. I just might have to watch the whole thing through a tiny hole between my fingers as I cover my face with my hands.
Back to my plan for tonight. I also emphatically reminded myself that as I tell Becky and Spencer the update, I will not admit the reason why Hubert has a hold over me. They’ve already called me selfish. I don’t need to give them any new ammunition.
I arrived at Becky’s cousin’s apartment with four chocolate chip cookies from Levain Bakery. I had bought five, but something happened to one of them on the way over. Something that involved chewing and swallowing.
We had made plans for seven-thirty, but I wound up getting there a little early. Dare I go up and face Becky alone? The last time we spoke was a nightmare. It was too cold to wait downstairs, so I took a deep breath and buzzed her apartment. Soon a buzz answered me back. I took the elevator up to the twelfth floor and rang the bell, and Becky opened the door.
Not surprisingly, she looked beautiful. She had her hair in a French braid and was wearing just enough makeup to bring out her gorgeous features but not enough to look like she was wearing any makeup. She definitely picked up some high-fashion tips at GlitZ because she was not only in a gorgeous baby blue wool skirt with a white sweater, but she was also wearing super-high heels. I guess when you work with models, you gotta dress like them. Although GlitZ only has male models. Is there a drag department? Weird. I guess she just wanted to get dressed up tonight for some reason.
She stared at me.
I stared at her.
Could we be friends again?
I was about to find out.
Our staring lasted five seconds and then she broke into an enormous smile and grabbed me for a hug. We both said, “I’m sorry” at the exact same time. Wow! I didn’t wait for her to say it first. Thanks, Chase!
I followed Becky into the apartment as she talked. “Justin! It’s been so weird not calling you,” she said as we walked down the hallway and entered the small kitchen.
“For me, too,” I said. “If we have another fight, let’s not do it when I’m also trying to solve a mystery.”
“I know.” Then she stopped. “Huh?”
“I’ll explain it all over dinner,” I said. I started walking around and smelling the various pots and pans that were simmering on the stove.
“Spencer cooked last night,” Becky explained, “and I’m heating it all up.”
“Where is he?” I asked.
“I’m not sure,” she said while stirring something that looked like curry sauce. “But he knows when dinner is. He’ll be here.”
Yes, but will his precious boyfriend be here, too? I wanted to find out if Scotty was coming without being obvious.
“Is Scotty coming?” I asked.
Well, I tried.
“I guess…,” she said vaguely. “I mean, probably…” She turned away and opened the oven door, then closed it without checking anything. She turned and looked at me directly. “I mean, yes. Yes, he is coming.”
She obviously felt in the middle and I didn’t want to make her feel awkward.
But how dare Spencer be bringing Scotty? Just because I told him to?
Hmph. Two could play at that game.
“Well, the more the merrier,” I said breezily. “That’s why I invited my new boyfriend.”
I expected her to run to me and scream with delight. But instead she looked sad. “Do you really have a new boyfriend?” What was she sad about? She’s the one who helped Spencer nab Scotty.
“I certainly do!” I said haughtily. “And he’s really, really cute.” Perhaps I was laying it on a bit too thick.
She turned around and started stirring the saucepan again. “Well, tell me about Broadway! Is it everything we’ve dreamed of?”
Before I could answer, the buzzer rang. “Hold on,” she said as she scurried out of the kitchen. I continued stirring the saucepan. I soon heard a knock, so I gave the pan a few more stirs and left the kitchen. Standing in the living room was Devon.
Yay!
And Scotty.
Hmph.
It was weird seeing them together. The replacements. Well, we’ll see how long Scotty lasts. It’s not easy to put up with Spencer’s nonstop social causes. You have to have a pretty strong resolve to even read a newspaper in front of Spencer and not feel guilty for destroying so many trees. I walked up to Devon and, waiting till Becky was looking, gave him a kiss. I couldn’t wait for her to tell Spencer. Hopefully his seething jealousy will be so obvious that he and Scotty will break up before dessert. Not just to get rid of Scotty, but also because I saw the brownies Spencer baked and I want Scotty’s portion.
But then, I thought, were the brownies the only reason I was so intent on getting Spencer to break up with Scotty? I did feel a
little too obsessed, even for me. Why did it really matter?
I had a new boyfriend.
It’s not like I wanted Spencer back.
I reminded myself that I was the one who wanted to break up. Well, break(ish) up. So, yes, Spencer went a little further than I intended, but as soon as he said it, I knew it was for the best. Spencer and I are just too different to date. Devon is just like me and it’s perfect.
“Do you guys want anything to drink?” Becky asked.
“I’ll just have some water,” Devon said.
That’s exactly what I was in the mood for! It’s a sign! “Me too!” I said, way too enthusiastically.
“Me three,” said Scotty. I glared at his attempt at humor.
He started following Becky. “I’ll come help you get it in the kitchen.”
Hmph. Of course Spencer found someone just as considerate as himself. Unfortunately, that made me start feeling guilty for lying to Big Noise Media. As a matter of fact, I just read on Playbill.com that they’ve disbanded. I’m not crazy enough to think that my interning for them would have saved an entire business, but maybe I could have helped keep them afloat a little longer.
Your guilt is eating away at you. Admit what you did, apologize, and you’ll feel free.
Argh! Why is everyone always trying to make me apologize? I’ve already done it twice! Isn’t that enough? I decided that silence from me is what makes Spencer’s voice so loud in my head, so I turned toward Devon and plunged into telling him what I found out today about the Phantom messenger. I left out the info about Chase being gay because it seemed like he didn’t want that to be public knowledge. And besides, it made me feel more like an insider keeping that to myself.
I then asked him for Hubert details.
“Well,” he said, lowering his voice and looking over both shoulders like he was being spied upon, “as you know, I saw the perp at nine in the a.m.”
My head immediately started to hurt from the bad cop/spy movie talk.
“Wait,” I interrupted. “Is Hubert the perp? I thought he was the subject. Doesn’t ‘perp’ mean perpetrator?”
“You are correct.”
“But—” I began.
“Has he or has he not perpetrated rude behavior?” he asked me. Oy! That’s the same kind of response I’d give Spencer when he’d try to rain on my parade. I gave a barely perceptible nod, which I based on the barely perceptible nods I’d get from Spencer when I pulled a verbal fast one. Devon ran his fingers through his hair (I couldn’t help wondering if the dryness hurt his hands) and continued.
“I followed him all over town. As you know, I texted you the locales using a shorthand I developed.”
He paused. I knew what he wanted.
“Nice job,” I reluctantly said. This was wearing me out. I was used to being the needy one.
“At thirteen hundred hours, I sent you an email with a single subject line saying he was having lunch and he was not alone.” Oh! That’s what “Dining. N/A” meant. I thought it meant he was eating and was not having an appetizer.
“I, of course, took a photo of both subjects.”
Wait! I remembered that red-mustached guy I saw with Hubert the one time I followed him. Was that the guy? Maybe Hubert really was cheating! I took out my phone, clicked on photos, and found the pic I took.
“Was this who Hubert was with?” I asked, holding up my phone in triumph.
“No, it wasn’t,” said Devon, smirking.
Was he happy that I had a photo of the wrong guy? He seems to have a deep need to be right. Even more than me.
“All right,” I reluctantly said, “let me see the photo you took.”
He blinked. “I emailed it to you.”
“You did?”
I got so many moronic texts and emails from him throughout the day that it’s very possible I missed one.
“Well, I don’t remember seeing any email with a photo. Show it to me on your phone.”
“I can’t,” he said matter-of-factly. “I deleted it.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because,” he said, sounding annoyed, “what if the perp confiscated my phone? I didn’t want any proof that I was tracking him.”
I’d had it.
“The perp? Do you mean Hubert?”
“Yes, Justin, I answered that already,” he said in measured tones. “You know I mean Hubert.”
I was getting very irritated and started muttering as I scrolled through my emails. “I’ll find it myself, then.” I scrolled all the way back to yesterday and didn’t see it. “What was the subject line of the email?” I asked.
“It was ‘delete immediately.’ ”
“Wait, what?” I asked.
He let out a frustrated sigh. “I wanted you to look at it and then delete it immediately. In case the perp confiscated your phone.”
“The perp?” I yelled. “Do you mean Hubert?”
“Yes!” he yelled back. “Stop asking!”
“Why the hell would you write delete immediately as a subject?”
“I told you why! What are you angry about?”
“Because I did what you told me and deleted the email immediately.”
“So?” he asked.
“Without looking at it!”
“Why would you do that?”
“Because you wrote delete immediately! I thought it was a virus or something.”
“Now what do we do?”
“We? You mean you! Look for it in your sent mail.”
“I can’t!”
“Why not?”
“Because I deleted the email account! I told you I wanted to clear any evidence in case the perp and/or accomplice confiscated my phone.”
I had had it. “Perp! Accomplice! This isn’t a spy movie!” I bellowed. “And if it were, you’d be fired from the agency for being a terrible, terrible spy.”
“How dare you!”
Becky and Scotty came out of the kitchen.
I put on a big smile even though I knew they must have heard us yelling. I didn’t want them to report anything to Spencer when he got here.
“We have to make a decision,” Becky said. “Spencer can’t come.”
“Why?” I asked, completely thrown.
“He’s at GlitZ.”
“That makes no sense,” I said. “His internship ended yesterday.”
Becky pursed her lips and shook her head. “I know. But that’s where he called me from. He’s been there for the past few hours.”
“Why?”
“You know him and commitments. He probably had some project he promised to finish.”
“I understand,” said Scotty.
Typical. “I completely understand as well,” I quickly, and possibly desperately, added.
“So,” Becky said to everyone, “should we all eat without Spencer?”
“But, Becky,” I whined, “can’t we wait for him to get back? I was so looking forward to catching up with you and Spencer.”
Translation: What is the point of eating here with Devon if Spencer isn’t here to get jealous?
“Look, why don’t we all take a rain check?” Scotty asked.
“Great idea,” Becky piped in.
A rain check? I planned out this whole evening!
I decided to suggest we continue with the dinner and Skype with Spencer. I knew I could position the computer at a perfect angle so he’d have a close-up of me giving Devon a big smackeroo. Before I could offer my idea, however, I saw Devon putting his coat on.
He was leaving? I guess I was a little harsh with the “terrible, terrible spy” comment. And everything else I said.
“Well…,” Devon said without making eye contact, “I should probably spend some time with my family tonight anyway.” He should? His baby sister and cockney nanny? “Maybe a rain check is best.” He looked at me. “I can see you’re disappointed Spencer isn’t here.”
I guess I didn’t hide it very well. But I just wanted Spencer here to throw Devon in h
is face.
“You and Scotty can come over to Spencer’s house on Long Island next Sunday,” Becky offered.
“Thanks, Becky,” Devon said without committing to anything, and then left.
Ouch.
If Devon and I broke up, then I’d have no ammunition against Scotty. I gave him a once-over. This isn’t finished, I thought.
“Are you looking at Scotty’s outfit?” Becky asked. “Isn’t it great?”
Uh-oh. Was I that obvious? “Yes! I love it! I want it! Where’d you get it?”
Scotty gave an embarrassed smile. “I get lots of my clothes made by a tailor in Italy. It’s hard to find pants that fit because I have long legs but a really small waist.”
“Me too,” I said without thinking. Uh-oh. Long legs and a really small waist? “I mean ‘me too’…as in I, too, find it hard to find pants that fit. But…for other reasons.”
I knew all pairs of eyes were on my short legs and opposite-of-small waist.
“Well, if you’ll excuse me,” I said, slowly backing away from them, “I’m going to try to catch Devon.” I grabbed my coat and fled into the hallway. I exited Becky’s lobby into the cold night air and put my coat on as I neared the corner of Amsterdam Avenue.
So now what? None of my planning paid off. Devon and I were not getting along, to put it mildly, and we spent no time figuring out why Hubert lied about leaving New York. I was supposedly friends with Spencer again, but he didn’t even care enough to come to dinner. Becky and I barely got a chance to talk because Spencer’s new boyfriend was so busy sucking up to her. And Chase, the one person who’s been nice to me consistently, was about to humiliate himself in public and I couldn’t do anything to stop it.
I remembered that my stress level went down if I ate, so I made an emergency stop at Delicious Dairy and bought an everything bagel with cream cheese that I ate as I walked. I finally calmed down as I got nearer to Grandma Sally’s. But then I felt my heart start racing again when I looked at the front door. There was something waiting for me. This time it wasn’t a letter.
The Rise and Fall of a Theater Geek Page 15
