It was hard to imagine himself as a father. The idea was going to take some getting used to. But the longer he thought about it the more it grew on him. A son and heir or a daughter who looked like Christy. He hadn’t mentioned in his letter to Julian that Lady Flora and Christy Macdonald were the same woman. He thought he’d save that for when he could tell Julian in person. Wouldn’t his brother be surprised? And Emma. She’d be ecstatic to learn she was going to be an aunt.
A knock on the door brought a smile to Sinjun’s sensuous lips. Christy. She’d come. His shaft gave an involuntary jerk, and he wondered how long it would take him to coax Christy into his bed.
“Come,” he called.
His smile faltered when Rory entered the chamber. “Where is Christy?”
“Entertaining Camerons. She sent me to tell ye they await ye in the hall.”
“Did they say what they wanted?”
“Nay. With Camerons ye can never tell. Christy invited them to share our meal.”
Sinjun spit out an oath. “Tell them I’ll be right down.”
Disgruntled at the untimely interruption, Sinjun entered the hall a short time later. Christy, Margot, and Rory were seated at the table with Calum, Donald, and an assortment of Camerons.
“I understand you wanted to speak with me,” Sinjun said, seating himself beside Christy.
“Aye,” Calum said. “We understand ye were nosing around Glenmoor village today.”
“If you call inspecting my property nosing around, then, aye, I was doing just that. I intend to visit the Cameron, Ranald, and Mackenzie strongholds in the coming weeks.”
Calum’s furious gaze rested on Christy a moment before returning to Sinjun. “’Tis true, then. We heard ye were settling in at Glenmoor for the winter.”
Knowing it would annoy Calum, he placed his hand over Christy’s. “Aye, ‘tis my intention to remain for the birth of my child.”
Calum’s ruddy features grew mottled, and Sinjun tensed, waiting for the expected outburst. Mary and her helpers chose that moment to carry in trays of food. Calum dismissed Sinjun with an angry glare and fell upon the food with gusto.
Ravenous, Sinjun devoted the next hour to his stomach. He sampled oyster soup, roasted mutton, poached trout, hare, boiled root vegetables drenched in butter, and the inevitable bannocks. Dessert consisted of pudding made from apples. Sinjun ate generous portions of everything set before him, amazed at his appetite. At this rate he’d lose the slim figure the ton so admired.
Replete at last, he sat back and waited for the Cameron chieftain to air his grievances. He didn’t have long to wait. Calum pushed to his feet and said, “Shall we continue our conversation in private, yer lordship?”
“Fine with me,” Sinjun replied, scraping his chair back.
Christy rose. “We can converse right here.” Immediately the hall cleared.
Calum sent Christy a disgruntled look. “What I have to say is for his lordship’s ears. ‘Tis no concern of yers.”
Christy squared her shoulders. “As laird of the clan, ‘tis my right to hear whatever it is you have to say to Lord Derby.”
“Christy, I’m going to speak to Calum alone,” Sinjun said, brooking no argument. “Let me handle this.”
He could tell from her expression that his words upset her, but it couldn’t be helped. She was pregnant; she didn’t need the aggravation of Calum’s anger. He was better equipped to handle Calum than a woman carrying a child.
“Don’t tell me what to do, my lord,” Christy hissed. “I have handled problems without your help before and will continue to do so after you’re gone. My condition makes me no less capable.”
“I’m here now, wife,” Sinjun said, putting starch into his words. “ Tis my understanding that our marriage gives me authority to handle clan matters.”
“I am still laird!” Christy charged. “You are here but one day and already you are trying to take over.”
“Nevertheless, I will speak to Calum privately,” he said, determined to persevere. “’Tis been a long day. Go to bed.”
He felt the scorching heat of her anger and tried to control his own. Didn’t she know he was trying to help? He had shirked his duty to her for years, and while he was here he intended to make himself useful. After he returned to London she could do what she damn well pleased.
Sinjun remembered the study from his visit to Glenmoor for his wedding and thought it a good place for privacy. “The study will do,” Sinjun said, motioning for Calum to follow.
Once inside, he lit a brace of candles and turned to face Calum. Though nearly of the same height, Calum was broader and more muscular.
“What is it that cannot be said in front of others?” Sinjun challenged.
“We want ye to leave the Highlands.”
“Do you speak for the Ranalds, Mackenzies, and Macdonalds?”
“I believe they’ll fall in line with the Camerons.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Cameron. Not yet, anyway. This is my land. I’ve decided to take a hand in its management for as long as I’m here. I’ve already undertaken repairs in the Macdonald stronghold. What can I do to improve the Camerons’ lot?”
“We want nothing from English dogs.”
Sinjun’s eyes narrowed. “What else have you come to say? Spit it out, man.”
“Yer not wanted here. Christy should have wed a Highlander.”
“A man like you?” Sinjun scoffed.
“Aye, a man like me. Ye care nothing for Glenmoor, ye never have. Ye collected yer dues and lived like a king on our sweat. Things were different when old Angus was laird. Then he died and Christy became his heir. Many of us wanted Christy to annul her marriage and wed me. The marriage was unconsummated, it would not have been difficult to end it. She told us she was going to London for that purpose. Instead she returned with a bairn in her belly. She says the bairn is the answer to our future.”
“Perhaps she’s right,” Sinjun allowed. “One day my child will become the new laird.”
“Och! The bairn is a Thornton, not a true Scotsman.”
“Christy is a Macdonald,” Sinjun reminded him. “She carries my child; there can be no annulment.”
Calum’s cold smile and threatening words gave ominous warning of his intent. “There are other ways to get what I want.”
“You don’t frighten me, Cameron. Christy is mine, you’ll never have her.”
“Yer staying then?”
“Aye, for the time being.”
Calum’s eyes narrowed. “Dinna say ye weren’t warned, yer lordship. Highlanders havena forgotten their losses at Culloden. Tis a dangerous place for Englishmen. I’m giving ye fair warning. Protect yer back.”
“Are you threatening me, Cameron?”
“Take it any way ye like,” Calum growled. “Good night to ye, Lord Derby.” He stormed from the chamber.
Sinjun remained in the study, mulling over Calum’s threats, long after Calum collected his kinsmen and left Glenmoor. Calum was a dangerous man, one who bore watching.
“Sinjun, are you still in there? Calum left a long time ago.”
Sinjun started at the sound of Christy’s voice. “Aye.”
She walked into the chamber. “What are you doing?”
“Thinking.”
“What did Calum want?”
Sinjun chose his words carefully, so as not to upset Christy. “Nothing that would interest you.”
He could almost see the wheels in her brain working as she came to the correct conclusion. “He threatened you, didn’t he?”
“He doesn’t frighten me.”
“He should. Calum is a vindictive man. He’s never gotten over the fact that Grandfather chose a woman as his heir.”
Sinjun pulled Christy into his arms, gratified when she didn’t resist. “Don’t worry about it, Christy. I can take care of myself. I’ve not wasted my entire life in useless pursuits. I took fencing lessons and boxing lessons and know how to protect myself.”
“
Not against the Camerons. They don’t fight in gentlemanly ways. You’re not to go anywhere without Rory. He’ll protect your back.”
“You worry too much,” Sinjun said lightly as he grasped Christy’s hand and led her back to the hall. Rory and Margot were sitting beside the hearth, talking quietly, when they entered.
“What’s amiss?” Rory asked, glancing from Sinjun to Christy. “What did Calum want?”
“Nothing important,” Sinjun said.
“He threatened Sinjun,” Christy contended. “You’re not to let Lord Derby out of your sight, Rory. Do whatever is necessary to protect him. Calum is destroying the clan with his jealousy and threats.”
“Ye can depend on me, Christy,” Rory proclaimed. “I’ll keep yer husband alive for ye.”
“You are all taking Calum too seriously,” Sinjun argued. “But I’ll be glad for your company, Rory.”
“So be it,” Rory said. “Come along, Margot, ‘tis late.”
“Do ye need me tonight, Christy?” Margot asked.
“No, go to bed, Margot. Rory is right. Tis late.”
“I’ll give Christy whatever help she needs,” Sinjun said. Margot gave him a startled look before she turned and accompanied her handfast husband from the hall.
“Good night, Sinjun,” Christy said. “I can manage just fine by myself.”
“It would please me to help you undress.”
“But not me,” Christy muttered beneath her breath.
Ignoring her, Sinjun swept her into his arms and strode up the stairs.
“Sinjun! Put me down.”
Christy could do little but cling to him as he negotiated the narrow stairs. When he finally did put her down, they were inside her chamber. He let her slide down his body, giving her the full benefit of his aroused body. Christy smothered a moan. Didn’t he know what he was doing to her? How could she possibly resist Sinjun’s seduction if he continued to batter her senses?
His hands went to the fastenings on the front of her gown. “I’m rather good at this, if you recall.”
She recalled every moment she’d ever spent with Sinjun. Too well, unfortunately. She shoved his hands aside. “I don’t need help.”
Sinjun’s heated gaze shifted from her face to her stomach. “I want to see you. I have a right. I am your husband.”
“How nice of you to remember.” Her words dripped with sarcasm. “Too bad you didn’t know that when you made me your mistress. Or when Lord Sin was having a grand time earning his reputation.”
Sinjun scowled. She made him sound like a man without any redeeming qualities, a man she didn’t admire. Hell, he didn’t even admire himself these days. What had happened? He had as much reason as Christy to be angry, if not more. “You should have told me who you were,” he shot back. “I want you, that hasn’t changed.”
“Are you offering me forever, Sinjun?” Christy challenged, her voice trembling with emotion. “Will you be around to guide our bairn to adulthood? Will you be faithful to me? Will I ever be more to you than a convenience? A woman to warm your bed until you return to London and your decadent ways?”
“I honestly don’t know,” Sinjun said bluntly. “I could say you’ll always be the only woman I’ll ever want, but, dammit, I don’t know. In fact, I feel that way right now, but Lord Sin doesn’t have the best reputation when it comes to matters of the heart. Can you accept me on those terms?”
Tears clogged Christy’s throat. Didn’t he know how much she wanted him, how she ached to hear him say he loved her? Why couldn’t he be the kind of man she needed?
“I thought you were angry with me.”
“I was, but ‘tis difficult to remain angry at the woman who is carrying my heir. Lying to me was wrong, we both know that. But after careful consideration, I see no reason why we should deny ourselves something we both want and enjoy.”
Christy stiffened. “How do you know what I want? You never so much as thought about me until I came to you in London.” She touched her stomach. “I already have what I wanted from you.” She turned away.
“Dammit, don’t turn away from me!”
He pulled her against him. He kissed her nape. His heat scorched her. She absorbed his musky scent through her pores and felt herself softening. She knew she shouldn’t, but when he touched her, her bones melted and her resistance wilted. Succumbing to Sinjun’s seduction would not be in her best interest, but sweet Virgin, the temptation was irresistible. She was not made of stone.
His hands were on her breasts, cupping them, stroking her nipples. She flushed when she felt them pebble against his palms and knew Sinjun felt it too, for she heard a chuckle rumble from his chest. His sex stirred against her bottom, and she had to forcibly restrain the urge to press backward into the hard ridge of his desire. When his hands splayed across her stomach, she went utterly still as he explored the mound where her bairn grew.
“I want to see you naked,” Sinjun whispered against her ear. “I want to see where my child is growing.”
His hands returned to the fastenings on her gown. He undid the first button, then a second. She watched his clever hands manipulate the fastenings and remembered how swiftly he had undressed her in the past … and how eager she had been to undress him.
“You can look,” she said, “but nothing more. I can’t risk having my heart torn from me when you leave.”
His hands stilled. “What about me? Did you ever consider what your leaving did to me?”
She shook her head. She hadn’t thought it would have mattered to Lord Sin. She assumed he would have had another woman waiting to take her place.
“Damn you!” he cursed, turning her roughly in his arms. “I wondered if you were carrying my child and didn’t like the idea of another man claiming him. I drank to forget, lost money in the seediest gambling hells in London and haunted Covent Gardens for a woman I hoped could make me forget you. Nothing helped.” He gave her a gentle shake. “Nothing, do you hear me? Julian carped at me constantly about my excesses. You did that to me, Christy. You! What do you think of that?”
Christy blanched. It hadn’t occurred to her that Sinjun would miss her as much as she missed him. Not Lord Sin, a man who avoided commitment and shunned responsibility.
“I … had no idea. I didn’t like myself much for what I did to you, but I feared you’d avoid me like the plague if you knew I was your wife. You forget, Sinjun, I was privy to your thoughts during our time together. You didn’t mind being married as long as your wife remained where she couldn’t interfere in your private affairs. You weren’t about to mend your wicked ways.”
“Did you care for me at all? Or was everything about our affair a lie?” Sinjun asked.
How can he be so dense? Christy wondered. Were all his experiences with women so shallow that he couldn’t tell when a woman truly cared? “I cared, Sinjun, too much. ‘Tis why I can’t let you seduce me. Were I to care for you more than I do now, ‘twould tear me apart when you leave me. That’s why I asked if you were ready to settle down and be a husband to me and a father to our bairn. Without assurances, I cannot let myself love you.”
Something inside Sinjun stirred. Conscience? Suddenly he wanted to become the kind of man Christy needed. “I can try, sweetheart. We have all winter. Give me a reason to change my ways. Let me love you. Give me a chance to be what you want.”
She stared into his eyes. They were utterly black, utterly determined. With a cry of exultation, he swept her into his arms.
The feel of her warm flesh forced the tightening in his groin into full erection. The front of her dress was gaping open, and he jerked it down over her shoulders, then yanked the tape holding her shift. Her breasts were larger, her nipples darker. He lowered her to the bed and followed her down.
He kissed her eyelids and the tip of her nose, while he caressed the smooth white flesh of her breasts. Moments before his mouth claimed hers, he looked into her eyes and read eagerness and mounting desire. He prodded her mouth open and wrote love notes with
his tongue. He was starved for her taste, her sweetness. He kissed her until she was trembling beneath him. When he lifted his mouth and stared into her eyes, he saw his own reflection, and something else. Something he’d never seen, nor looked for, in the eyes of women he’d bedded. It was so stunning, so unexpected, that he feared to give it a name.
“Christy…” There was something he wanted to say, but he couldn’t find the words.
He groaned when she dug her hands in his scalp and brought his mouth down to hers again. He kissed her long and passionately, sucking her tongue into his mouth and then giving her his. She sighed when he broke off the loss. Sinjun merely smiled and slid his mouth down to her breasts. He licked her sensitive nipples, and she whispered his name, arching her back to offer more of herself.
“Too damn many clothes,” he whispered as he raised his head from her breasts and made swift work of her clothing. When she was naked, he sat back on his heels and stared at her.
She tried to cover her stomach with her hands, but he pushed them aside. “No, don’t try to hide yourself from me.” Reverently he ran his fingertips over her distended stomach. She wasn’t large enough, he thought, and vowed to make her eat more for the sake of their child.
“The bairn is small yet,” she said shyly. “She will grow during the next four and a half months.”
Sinjun’s elegant brows shot upward. “She?”
“I’m hoping for a daughter.”
Did he detect a hint of challenge in her voice? He spanned her hipbones, shaking his head in dismay. “You’re too narrow. I’m a big man. Are you sure you’re capable of birthing this child?”
“ Tis rather late to question my ability to deliver. I’m determined to have this child.”
“Aye, I know. You’re beautiful. More beautiful than the first time I saw you.” He lowered his head and kissed her stomach.
A Taste of Sin Page 11
