“Stop that,” she hissed.
“You know you shouldn’t be out in the middle of the night, asleep in a car––even with the door locked. Anything could happen.” He looked at his watch. “Tell you what. I’ll let you young ladies go this time if you promise to go right on home and stay out of trouble. Otherwise I’ll have to take you down to the station.”
“Oh, we will, officer, You know it’s the first time we’ve ever gotten into trouble,” I said. This elicited a sarcastic “Ha,” from Flo who now seemed wide awake.
That night I dreamed of being in the lockup, tied up on a four poster bed while a police officer named Martini, who looked surprisingly like Officer Martinelli, plied me with gin as he removed my clothes. Slowly. One piece at a time.
“Do with me what you will,” I said.
Unfortunately he was interrupted by the ringing of his cell phone.
Only it was my phone. And it wouldn’t stop.
Though I was not in the mood to hear from Merv, or Flo, or anyone else for that matter, my curiosity got the better of me and, in the off-chance it might be Officer Martinelli-Martini calling to come over and ravish me, I rolled to the edge of the bed and picked up.
“It’s late. Why are you in bed?” Flo asked.
“Oh, it’s you.”
“Listen, Izzy, today’s the day we put my master weight loss plan into action. I’ll meet you at the Bump and Grind trail in about an hour. At 10:30. I have to stop by the bank first to see why I’m overdrawn. And, Izzy––10:30 sharp. Don’t be late.”
“Wait,” I said, “don’t hang up. You can’t possibly expect me to walk on some narrow, curving…”
Before I could finish my sentence, Flo had clicked off. I dialed her back but it went to her answering machine so I dialed her cell. Voicemail again.
It was clear Flo meant business––even if it killed me. Which was exactly what I feared. When she called back I planned to tell her that she would have to come up with an alternate plan for losing weight––preferably something more civilized.
I headed for the shower but made the mistake of first stepping on the scale. Pretending indifference, I glanced at the number. Ha, it mocked, and you thought you lost weight. I shifted my feet on the scale, hoping for a lower number. Instead the number edged even higher. Flo was right––it would take a more drastic approach to get in shape. And with Sondra Sockerman in the wings, there was no time to waste.
I closed my eyes and reveled in the soothing warmth of the water as it cascaded over my naked body. Then Merv’s image intruded into my watery paradise. He hadn’t checked in for three days and I contemplated the possibility that he might have actually suffered a heart attack. He could be lying helpless on the floor right now. Hoping I’d call 911.
I was working myself into a a frenzy of guilt and fear, when the phone rang. I ran out of the shower and into the bedroom, almost killing myself as I dove for the phone.
“Merv,” I exclaimed breathlessly as the water pooled around my feet.
“You’ve broken another Palm Springs Sun Villas rule.” It was Pat, the Palm Springs Sun Villas secretary from hell.
“Which one now?” I asked.
“Garbage.”
“Garbage?”
“You put your garbage out for collection the evening before pick-up. That’s a no-no. You are to put it out only in the morning. It’s another infringement of our rules.”
“Firing squad or burning at the stake?” I asked.
Pat didn’t answer.
“Okay, I promise it won’t happen again.”
“The $75 fine will be added to your next homeowner’s bill.”
I glanced at my list of condo infringements tacked to the refrigerator door and added a fourth: Garbage.
Chapter 8
I parked my car and looked around and, not seeing Flo or her car, I walked over to the foot of the trail to study the narrow path winding upward to heaven-only-knew where.
“No way,” I said out loud. No way was I going to hike up some inch wide path of loose rock with a sheer drop on one side. Not even in the cause of losing weight. I’d sooner give up chocolate, in a manner of speaking.
I’d always had a terrible fear of heights. You name it: climbing Mount Everest, being carried across the threshold on my wedding night, hiking the Bump and Grind––all were equally terrifying to me.
I pulled out my cell and dialed Flo again. She still didn’t pick up. So in the spirit of the occasion I pulled the energy bar from my fanny pack and munched on it while I watched the hikers running down the trail. A proud lot, covered with well-earned sweat, they nodded and waved as they ran past me to their cars. I waved back and stretched my calves, pretending to be of them.
Maybe it’s time you grew up, Izzy. I told myself. Everyone does the Bump and Grind. Well, almost everyone.
No, I can’t. I’m a mess. Maybe it’s because my crib was too high. Who knows? But I can’t do it.
Oh, yes, you can. You can do it. Repeat after me. I can do it. I can do it, I ca…
“…n’t do it,” I cried out as two women came racing down the path, knocking into me. “Hey watch it,” I yelled after them, feeling like the ninety pound (I should be so lucky) weakling in the old Charles Atlas ads. “Show offs!” I added for good measure.
That did it…
“I can do this!” I told myself. I finished off the energy bar, stuffed the empty wrapper into my fanny pack and took three baby steps up the path. Then eight more. Eleven steps in all. I paused to orient myself and revel in the fresh air at this higher elevation. I even managed to peer over the edge which even I had to admit wasn’t very high. But why push my luck? I was about to head back down when I spotted her coming up the path toward me. I couldn’t believe it.
Her! Again!
Sondra Sockerman with long, confident strides, brushed past, throwing me off balance.
Could I be mistaken? Despite the oversized sunglasses and pink baseball cap pulled low over her eyes, it had to be her. My nemesis. Who else had such a tight butt, such bouncy 38D’s and such extra long, perfect legs?
Oh, what the hell. If Sondra Sockerman could do the Bump and Grind Trail…
I started up the path after her. My eyes stayed glued to the small heart tattoo that was peeking out above the waistband of her tan micro shorts as she charged ahead. Her silky blonde pony tail bounced up and down with each step. Her gold ankle chain glittered in the sun, urging me on. Panting, I ran after her. I was determined to keep up.
The distance between us widened as we raced up the path. My breathing grew louder. Then as if to taunt me, Sondra glanced over her shoulder and gave me a small smile.
Feeling a renewed sense of purpose, I doubled my speed. Well, not really––actually I doubled over from the stitch in my side.
When the pain passed and I was able to straighten up, I made the mistake of glancing over the edge. I came face to face with a drop of at least two stories. Terrified, I staggered away from the edge and tried to reorient myself. When I was finally able to regain my balance, I saw the flash of Sondra’s ankle chain as she disappeared around the curve up ahead.
Was I out of my mind? I couldn’t believe how high I’d gone. I was paralyzed with fear. I had to get down. Perhaps if I took it slow and avoided looking over the edge, I might…
Just then, a hiker shoved me out of the way as he ran past.
“Aaaah!” I screamed, nearly falling over. I scrambled to regain my footing. “What the…. Are you crazy?” I yelled after him. To add insult to injury, he continued to race up the path without even acknowledging my terrified existence. “Hey,” I screamed. “You could have killed me!”
No sooner had the words left my mouth when––to my horror––he stopped.
Now you did it, Izzy. Can’t ever leave well enough alone, can you?
He was dressed all in black––black pants, black windbreaker––a strange choice for a summer hike. He hadn’t moved nor did I take my eyes off him. Despite h
is loose windbreaker I could see the tension in his upper back as I waited, terrified that any moment he would turn around. To do what? Head back down and knock me over the edge?
His arms hung at his side. His hands were balled into tight fists. Was I about to become a victim of trail rage?
I broke into a sweat––a combination of the rapidly rising desert temperature and my even more rapidly growing fear. I stood frozen in place, terrified that he’d shove me over the edge and I’d end up as some coyote’s pancake lunch. And no one would ever know.
But then––as suddenly as he’d stopped––he took off running up the mountain again.
I waited until he disappeared around the curve. Then, finally, I could breathe again. There was no time to waste. I had to get down off the trail. I turned and began inching my way down the path, pausing every few feet to catch my breath and glance over my shoulder to make sure he wasn’t coming after me.
Then I heard it.
A scream!
I stopped.
Another scream, then another––this one accompanied by the sound of rocks tumbling down the side of the incline.
I was shaking but I didn’t know whether it was from an earthquake or from fear. Whatever it was––I had to keep moving. I started inching my way down the trail again. I hadn’t made much progress when I heard footsteps crunching over the gravel. I spun around and saw the same dark figure emerge from around the curve.
I ducked into an area of dried brush off to the side of the path and hunkered down, trying to make myself as invisible as I could.
Stay calm, I ordered myself as the sound of footsteps drew nearer, until they were so close that if I wanted, I could reach out and touch his black Nikes. I covered my nose and mouth with my hand to keep from breathing in the dry desert dust and squeezed my eyes shut hoping that if I didn’t see him he couldn’t see me. As he ran past, I was hit by a barrage of dry dust. I thought my lungs would explode from holding my breath.
Unable to control it any longer I let loose with loud, violent coughing. I waited. Did he hear me? What if he came back? Was he waiting for me further down the trail?
I could feel my stomach vibrating with fear, then I realized it was my cell phone. I nervously fumbled with the zipper on my fanny pack and pulled it out.
“Izzy? Where the heck are you?” Flo yelled. “I thought you were going to meet me at the Bump and Grind.”
“I’m here,” I whispered. “I’m up on the trail. Hurry!”
“What? I can barely hear you. I’m down at the bottom and I’ve been looking for you for fifteen minutes. And why the hell are you whispering?”
“Flo, listen to me––hang on a sec.” Thinking I heard something, I peeked through the brush but there was no one there. “I wanted to make sure he wasn’t coming back.”
“What are you talking about? Who’s he?”
“It’s some crazy guy. He wants to kill me. Come get me. I can’t move.”
The line went silent, then, “Okay. Stay put.”
Where did she think I was going? Of course I was going to stay put. You couldn’t pry me from my hiding place with a four wheeler.
After what seemed a lifetime––I heard, “Yoohoo…Izzy…”
Covered with dust, I crawled out from behind the bush.
“Well, well,” Flo said, shaking her head, “if you aren’t one sorry sight. Here, take this.” She handed me her water bottle which I quickly finished off.
“I told you to wait for me. Why in the world would you go up the trail without me?”
“It’s a long story. Flo, I think something terrible happened to Sondra.”
“Again with Sondra!” Flo shook her head. “Now I know you’ve gone completely mad. Probably the desert heat.”
“No, it’s true. I was following Sondra but I became so winded I had to stop to catch my breath. Then this person comes racing up the path behind me––almost knocking me over the edge.” I paused to catch my breath. “Then, when I yelled at him, I had the feeling he wanted to do something terrible. Like kill me.”
“Flo shook her head. “Please, Izzy, try to relax. I’m sure he didn’t want to kill you.”
“You don’t understand. After he followed Sondra up, I heard this awful scream and he came running back down.” I lowered my voice to a whisper. “But Sondra didn’t. I know it was Sondra who screamed. He did something to her. I’m sure of it. She’s either still up there or…” I shuddered. “Or she’s dead.”
“You know there is another path down. She probably took that one.”
“No, it had to be Sondra who screamed. I know it. What if she’s stranded up there?”
“Look, let’s get back down before it gets any hotter. I’m sure Sondra is just fine.”
“But what if she needs our help?” I clutched Flo’s arm “We can’t just leave her. She could be injured.
Flo looked at me and shook her head. “Okay. If it’ll put your mind at ease, we’ll go check it out. Lead the way.”
“Are you kidding?” I couldn’t control myself any longer and burst into tears. “You know I’m terrified of heights.”
Flo gave me that, ‘you’re hopeless’ look. “Fine,” she said. “I’ll check it out myself. But first you have to promise you’ll stop obsessing about Sondra.”
“Okay. I promise.” The way I was feeling I would have agreed to anything.
I watched with envy as Flo made her way up the trail. When she disappeared around the curve, my anxiety reappeared full-blown. What if something happened to Flo? It’d be my fault for putting her in danger. Besides how would I get down off the trail without her?
After what seemed a lifetime, she reappeared around the curve. “What’d you find?” I yelled.
She didn’t answer and continued running down the path until she reached me.
“Did you see her?”
“No. I didn’t find Sondra. But I found this.” She handed me a gold chain.
I turned it over in my hand and studied it. “That looks like the ankle chain she was wearing. Where’d you find it?”
“It was hanging on some brush. She probably didn’t know she lost it. Give it to her when you see her in class.”
“What if she doesn’t come to class?”
“You’ll cross that bridge when you come to it. It’s hot up here and we’re out of water and I’m dying of thirst. So let’s go. Follow me and don’t look over the side.”
We started down the path, Flo leading the way.
“Go slow,” I yelled, clutching at the back of Flo’s tee.
“Would you stop tugging my shirt,” she yelled back, “you’re going to throw me off balance.”
When we finally reached the bottom, we headed for our cars.
And Starbucks.
Chapter 9
Flo shook her head as we waited in line for our lattes. “I can’t believe you went up that trail alone.”
“It’s your fault. It was your idea to go hiking!” I said. I was hoping to instill enough guilt in her that she would never again suggest hiking or any other form of exercise. Ever. “Besides none of this would have happened if you weren’t late.”
“How about I buy you a piece of chocolate cake to make it up to you?”
I shook my head. She wasn’t going to buy me off that easy. “Okay, make it the double chocolate.”
The temperature had risen dramatically. Most of the customers were sitting inside so Flo and I didn’t have to fight for our favorite table near the ficus tree.
Flo angled the funky green patio umbrella to block out the sun since neither of us needed any more wrinkles. “Is this better?”
I motioned with my head. “A little more to the right.”
Flo pulled out a chair and sat down. “What made you go up the trail by yourself?”
“Sondra made it look so easy, I figured if she could do the Bump and Grind trail, why couldn’t I?”
“Maybe because she’s in great shape and you’re not?”
“I
didn’t realize how high up I’d gone until I looked over the edge. It was terrifying. You know how much I hate heights.” When Flo didn’t respond I realized she was in the throes of a sugar orgasm and probably wasn’t listening to a word I was saying.
“Mmmm, I can’t believe how good this is,” she mumbled, eyes closed, mouth stuffed with cake. “Keep talking. I’m listening.”
I finished off the rest of my cake and resisting the urge to lick the crumbs off the plate. “We have to go to the police and report what happened,” I announced.
That brought Flo back down to earth. “You mean you have to go to the police. Leave me out of it. Besides, what are you going to report? Some non-existent, imaginary crime? That’ll really put you in good with the police.”
“I thought maybe we could casually drop by the station and ask for that Officer Martini.”
“Martinelli. And you can forget it. I’m not joining you in any further humiliation.”
Despite Flo’s denial, I could tell she was toying with the idea of seeing our gorgeous cop again.
“You really have the nerve to face him again?” she asked. “In case you forgot, he already caught us stalking Sondra once. This time he’ll put you in the slammer for sure.”
“Would that be so bad?” I said, pressing my finger down onto the crumbs and licking them off. “I couldn’t imagine anything sexier than being handcuffed by him. Be still my beating heart.”
On the other hand, Flo was probably right. What if he thought I was stalking Sondra? “Okay, you win,” I said. “I’ll wait and give the ankle chain to Sondra when she comes to class.”
“If she comes to class,” Flo said.
****************************************
First things first. As soon as I arrived home I headed into the bathroom for a shower. Not only because I was covered with dust and dried perspiration but because I hoped a shower might clear my head. Flo was right, I needed to stop ruminating about Sondra and that scary guy up on the trail. But I just couldn’t stop myself.
Murder She Typed Page 3
