Every day that went by, Dustin felt an unrelenting empty feeling in his soul like something very important was missing, but he couldn’t quite reach it. It had been two months since the accident and he felt more and more like an orphan, alone in an empty shell, unconnected to the world. He knew his boss, Scott, was doing everything he could to take him under his wing and include him in activities with he and his wife, but he felt that something else was out there, just within his reach, if he could only figure out what it was. Fall was quickly coming to a close and he was told that he would shortly need to resume his winter job as a ski instructor. Scott told him that since he remembered how to ride, white water raft, and knew all the trails and river routes, it was highly likely that he would remember how to ski and be able to navigate the mountain trails just like before. Dustin hoped so, because without his work, he was completely lost. Night after night his dreams had him tossing and turning fitfully. It seemed to be getting worse lately, and when he woke up, he was plagued with bits and pieces of memories. But as soon as the fog of sleep cleared, those memories instantly evaporated.
One afternoon as Scott and Dustin were cleaning up the office, getting ready to shut it down for the upcoming winter season, Scott asked, “So Dustin. Did you take a test run on the slopes? How did it go? Did you remember the trails?”
Nodding his head in affirmation, Dustin replied casually, “Yeah. It feels just like yesterday when I was out there teaching. I wonder if one of my students, Denise Spencer, will come back this year.”
All of a sudden Scott froze in his tracks, hearing what Dustin had just said. Could it be that Dustin’s memory was starting to come back? Trying to contain his excitement and stay calm at the same time, he asked Dustin casually, “So tell me about this Denise Spencer. What was she like?”
Trying to act casual, Scott kept one eye on the broom he was sweeping with and the other eye on Dustin. Staying quiet was killing him but he needed to see what Dustin could remember. As he watched Dustin contemplating his question, he could see him getting fidgety and looking a bit uncertain now that he had to focus on the person he had just mentioned. Trying to give him a bit of help, Scott asked, “What did she look like?” Then trying to seem more casual than he felt, he inquired with a chuckle, “Was she cute?”
Looking up thoughtfully to the ceiling, Dustin then turned to Scott and answered, “Red ski suit. Ornery. I don’t think she liked skiing much.” But as quickly as the brief memory came, it was instantly lost and Dustin couldn’t tell Scott anything more. The memory just vanished into thin air.
That night Dustin woke himself up at two in the morning, yelling and shaking from a bad dream. He dreamt he was standing at the altar with a woman in a white summer wedding dress, covered in a white veil. He could see beautiful brunette hair and sparkling green eyes looking up at him adoringly. He could hear a preacher droning on in the background about promising to love and cherish the beautiful princess before him. He was mesmerized by her beauty and when he reached out to touch her face, she disappeared slowly into a fog, leaving him alone. As he sat bolt upright in bed with his heart pounding, a brief flash of a woman in a red ski outfit came back again.
***
It was obvious to Sharon that Dennie had lost a lot of weight even though Dennie tried to hide it behind baggy clothes. It had been three months since the accident and she knew Dennie was suffering from mild depression. As much as Sharon tried to set Dennie up with some dates, her friend wouldn’t budge and refused to go. Scott was doing a great job keeping them in the loop on Dustin’s progress, or lack thereof, but the reports seemed to make Dennie even more depressed. Scott privately told Sharon about Dustin’s breakthrough memory of a woman in a red ski suit, but Sharon didn’t want to tell Dennie yet, as she didn’t want Dennie to get her hopes up if that memory turned out to be only a fleeting thing. Occasionally Sharon would see Dustin walking in town and it just broke her heart knowing how much Dennie missed him and that he had no recollection of the woman he once loved who loved him unconditionally. It was just a horrible, sad twist of fate and it seemed there was nothing anyone could do about it.
***
On a beautiful December morning four months after the accident, Dustin stood alert on ski patrol at Breckenridge Mountain. The sky was crystal clear, the fresh mountain air was crisp and cold, and the slopes were packed with skiers. As Dustin stood perched at the top of the number five trail, one of the more advanced expert level trails on the mountain, he watched the guests as they unloaded off the chair lift and took off for their run down the mountain. This trail was particularly tricky because it was very narrow with woods on either side, as well as being steep with some moguls. It was warned that only advanced skiers attempt the black trails, especially the number five trail that lay before him. At least one member of the ski patrol always supervised this trail, as it had the potential to be very dangerous. The morning had been quiet on the slope and Dustin was feeling relaxed, enjoying the beautiful weather and watching the skiers attack the slope with enthusiasm and skill. As he stood observing the activity going on around him, he kept seeing intermittent visions of a tall, rugged man, skiing backwards and talking to him. The minute the memory popped into his head, it was gone again. An hour later, it happened again. It seemed like the man was trying to help him…show him something…explain something. Instead of scaring him, the vision made him feel relaxed, protected. When the memory disappeared again, Dustin shook his head and focused back on the skiers. As he looked over to a young couple who had just gotten off the chair lift, he observed the man coaching a woman in a red ski jacket on the best way to get down the slope safely and how to avoid the moguls. As Dustin watched the man reassuring her that she’d do great, he suddenly got an instant vision of a woman in a red ski suit clinging to him, after picking her up from falling down. He could suddenly smell her perfume like she was standing right next to him. He could feel her clutching his forearms. And then just as quickly as it came, the woman in his memory disappeared.
There was something about the way the man was coaching the woman that captured Dustin’s complete attention. He had never seen this couple before but he couldn’t take his eyes off the man as he pointed down the slope, giving her guidance as to what she should avoid and where possible ice patches could be. He could see her looking up at him adoringly and hanging on to every direction that he gave and once again, he got a vision of beautiful green eyes looking at him with the same expression. As he watched the woman tentatively begin her journey slowly down the slope, he noticed that the man stayed at the top to give her space to navigate her own speed. What the man didn’t know, that Dustin knew immediately when one of her legs shot out sideways, was that she had hit an ice patch, and he could tell by how she was off balance that she was not going to be able to recover. Sure enough, the woman started gaining speed and Dustin knew she was moments from being totally out of control. In a fraction of a second, Dustin shot by the man, who was frozen at the top of the slope not knowing what to do. He raced down the slope in a tuck toward the woman. When she hit a mogul balanced only on one ski, it was a miracle she didn’t crash right then. Her arms were flailing, she was screaming hysterically as she headed right for the woods.
All of a sudden Dustin was overcome with a horrific mental image that a woman somewhere in his past, in a red ski suit, was in trouble. It was in that fraction of a second, with fear racing though his veins, his heart beating wildly and his adrenaline pumping in overdrive when his memory of Dennie, his parents, and Rick came swarming back. As he raced up behind the woman with his thoughts, emotions and memories in turmoil, he suddenly got confused and thought the woman in the red ski jacket heading out of control toward the trees was Dennie.
Yelling as loud as he could to be heard over the woman’s screaming he called out, “Dennie, fall down. Fall down like I taught you. Bend your knees now and sit!”
He could see that she was terrified but he knew she heard him. She was now only 50 feet from the woods a
nd traveling faster than she could control herself. Dustin knew it was now or never. Speeding up right beside her, he yelled one more time as he took his ski pole and knocked hers out of her hand to help her fall. “Fall down NOW, DENNIE!” He could tell she was frozen with fear and unable to make herself fall. As terror raced through his veins at the impending disaster about to unfold before him, Dustin threw his poles to the ground and tackled the woman, bringing them both down to the ground, rolling down the slope for what seemed like forever, until they finally came to a stop.
Gasping for breath and brushing the snow from the woman’s face, all he could see was Dennie, and as he got his wind back from taking the fall for both of them he asked breathlessly, “Dennie, why didn’t you fall like I taught you? Remember our first lesson when I told you how to fall if you ever got out of control? You scared me half to death! If you hit those trees going as fast as you were, you could have died!”
Staring into the woman’s eyes while waiting for her to answer him, it was like a fog lifting in slow motion and when the woman’s face finally came into clear view, he was mortified to realize she wasn’t Dennie. He could see her just looking at him like he was a crazy person, wondering who the hell Dennie was.
Embarrassed by his confusion and thrown completely off balance by the newfound memories that were causing havoc in his brain and with his emotions, he cleared his throat uncomfortably and helped her to her feet. Fortunately, her boyfriend swooshed up beside them at that very moment and the conversation immediately turned to heartfelt thanks from the woman and the boyfriend. Because the woman was badly shaken up, Dustin got on his radio and called for the rescue sled to take her down to the base of the mountain.
Helping her to get her skis off, he made a feeble apology for mixing her up with someone else. Fortunately the rescue sled showed up at that very moment and he was able to focus on getting her and her skis into the sled so Jake, his fellow ski patrol buddy, could take her down to the bottom with the boyfriend following behind. Finally alone and perched on the side of the mountain with the sun streaming down and sparkling like diamonds off the powder white snow, Dustin sighed deeply, grateful that his nightmare was finally over.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
It had been a long week with many patients coming in and out, but it was finally Friday and Dennie was glad the weekend was here…although in many respects the weekends were the most difficult because she was alone with no distractions. As much as she appreciated Sharon trying to set her up on dates, she just didn’t have the heart to be with anyone other than Dustin. She had fallen so completely in love with him, and when he got torn away from her in what felt like the cruelest of circumstances, her heart had just not healed.
Knowing he was out there, living his life and having no idea who she was or what they had shared left her feeling empty and alone. Occasionally Rick and Dustin’s parents would contact her to see how she was doing, but those calls always ended up with her in tears, feeling worse than she had before they called.
Dennie knew that this upcoming weekend was going to be just more of the same sadness, loneliness, and despair, but no matter how she tried, she just couldn’t pull herself out of it. Sharon had suggested she see a therapist and she was actually thinking that was probably a good idea. Much of the reading she did said that having a loved one with amnesia was much like going through the death of that person, even though they were very much still alive. It was constantly heart wrenching and the months of loneliness and despair had taken a deep toll on her.
Stuffing the last of her papers into her briefcase to take home for the weekend, Dennie left her office, blew Sharon a kiss, and trudged out the door like someone heading out to a firing line. Stepping into the frigid winter air made her shudder, and as she pulled her jacket closer to her body to stave out the cold, she glanced up to where her car was parked and stopped dead in her tracks. Her briefcase simultaneously went crashing to the ground. She knew she was tired from not getting enough sleep, but was she finally hallucinating from the stress? Blinking her eyes rapidly to desperately try to bring reality back into focus, the vision before her did not go away.
Leaning against her car with a big smile on his face, was Dustin, wearing that all too familiar black ski jacket and cap. Dennie couldn’t move or take her eyes off of him. What was he doing here leaning up against her car at her work place? He didn’t know who she was, let alone where she worked or what she did for a living. Was this a cruel joke? And who would do this to her?
Standing with her mouth wide open, time stood still for what seemed like hours until she heard him say, “I haven’t seen you up on the mountain this year yet, Ms. Spencer. I was hoping you missed my dazzling personality, rugged good looks, and my awesome instruction.” In the space of time that it took Dustin to land that line with the all too familiar sarcasm that she had grown to love, every bit of tension, stress, heartbreak and depression that she had been shouldering for four months instantly vanished. Letting out a choking cry, she found herself running to him at full speed, knowing that her Dustin was back. Throwing herself into his arms, she wept uncontrollably, letting go of all the exhaustion and pain she had been silently enduring.
Holding her tight, Dustin gently caressed her head and whispered soothingly that everything was going to be all right. She felt so good being in his arms and although the temperature was below freezing, she instantly warmed to his body heat and the sheer adrenaline that was coursing through every fiber of her body.
Finally looking up at him with a tear-soaked face, gasping and trying to reach desperately for a tissue in her pocket, she asked tentatively, “Is it really you, Dustin? Is your memory really back?” Nodding in the affirmative that indeed he was back on the planet earth, her legs suddenly gave out from under her and the last thing she heard him say before she fainted in his arms, was that he loved her.
***
When Dennie’s eyes finally opened, she knew immediately that she was in Dustin’s bed. Looking at the bedside table clock she could see it was 8 p.m. She was shocked! Her last memory was leaving work at noon, seeing Dustin, and then everything went dark. Now eight hours later she was curled up in his bed feeling more refreshed than she had in the last four months. As she stretched and rolled onto her back, she saw Dustin across the room in one of his upholstered arm chairs reading on his Kindle. He wasn’t aware that she had just woken up, so she quietly lay there just staring at his handsome face while a feeling of love swept over her. He was so darn handsome and she hoped like hell that having him back wasn’t just a dream.
Feeling suddenly a bit silly, she said in a sarcastic, deadpan voice, “So what’s a girl gotta do around here to get a man naked in her bed?” Immediately she saw a huge grin spread across Dustin’s face. She continued to tease him. “Four months is a long time to make a gal wait. I think somebody owes me big time!”
That challenge was all Dustin needed to hear. Placing his Kindle down on the table next to the chair, he gave her a devilish look, slowly stood up, and approached the bed without taking his eyes off of her. It seemed like yesterday when he saw her last, but he had been told by those closest to him the reality of just how long he had been lost to them. As he looked at her sleepy expression, his heart welled for this beautiful green-eyed beauty, and both his body and his soul wanted her in the worst way. As much as he wanted to talk to her about everything that happened over the last four months, he needed a much deeper communication right now and he knew she did as well. There would be plenty of time to talk later.
Taking off his clothes, he watched her eyes following his every movement with intensity and desire. For the hundredth time since he had been together with Dennie, he was completely blown away by her feelings for him, both emotionally and sexually. He knew he was the most blessed man in the world and he could feel his body react to the anticipation of being with her tonight.
Slowly pulling the covers back, he gazed at her naked body lying before him. When he brought her into his room sound asl
eep after her fainting spell, he had undressed her more for her comfort, than for any thought of intimacy. But now he was grateful she was already naked. As she reached out her arms for him, he slid into the bed beside her and pulled her into his chest, quietly stroking her back and arms as she gently caressed him at the same time. The lighting in the room was dim and relaxing and the only sound that could be heard was their light breathing.
For Dennie, there were many sad months of thinking she would never experience this again. But now that she was lying back in his arms feeling his gentle touch, she took her time drinking in the smell of his skin and feeling his body beneath her hands. Very slowly she caressed every part of him like it was the very first time. She wanted to feel every muscle, every curve, and every chest hair. It had been so long since she had touched him and she needed him now desperately. The feel of his hands on her skin stroking her body slowly and seductively made her passion start to soar and her breathing quicken as her body started to demand more. Lifting her head off his chest, she looked directly into his eyes, letting him know the intensity of what she was feeling.
Seeing the look in Dennie’s eyes made both Dustin’s heart and manhood swell for her. He could see the depth of her feelings reflected in those gorgeous eyes and he knew she wanted and needed him. He couldn’t totally understand what she had gone through the past four months, but he knew she needed everything he could give her to help erase that fear and loneliness. Moving to a position so he was straddling over her, he took her lips to his and kissed her deeply, slowly, and passionately. For Dustin, kissing was one of the most intimate acts that two people could share. He had always felt that any two people could have sex, but great, passionate kissing between lovers was an intimate and personal connection of the heart and soul and the deepest form of communication, besides verbal communication itself.
Private Lessons Page 8
