by Brindi Quinn
Ardette nibbled a bit before releasing me. Nyte left his hand on his throat, teeth bared and fury invading his green eyes.
“Ardette! What are you thinking?!” I scowled at him and wiped at my ear as if I could wipe away the event entirely.
“That is your punishment for leading the Druelcans away and causing me to worry.” He stepped out from Nyte’s now-loose grasp. “Now then, back to Crystair.”
Nyte let out a gurgle. I scanned him and saw there was silent rage coursing through his veins. Dangerous rage that wanted to maim the Daem.
Stupid, stupid, stupid Ardette!
“Come now, you don’t think it’s that easy, do you, my cherry pit? Recovering a person’s memory takes a lot more than shadow trick. We’ll need to make preparations for a thing like that to work.”
“Preparations?” I asked warily.
He nodded. “I suppose we’ll need to get more of that.”
“That?” asked Nyte, still shaking.
At once, Ardette’s smile turned into a disgusted frown. “Ah yes, more andap will be necessary.”
Nyte’s angry shaking abruptly stopped altogether, and a pleased smirk crossed his face. I didn’t know what the thick, black liquid known as andap was, but I remembered the way it’d helped Ardette after he’d contained Rend’s outburst at the Waterfall of Sorrow. I also remembered the reaction Ardette had had after drinking it. I suddenly understood Nyte’s amusement.
Ardette’s back was turned to us, but I saw him shudder.
Is it really that awful? And yet, to help Nyte, he would . . .
Ardette shook his head. “Not for him, my cherry pit, for you.”
“Eh!?” How does he do that? I swear, sometimes he knows what I’m thinking!
The tricky Daem flashed a white smile over his shoulder at me. “Like I said, it is because our connection is so deep.”
“Stop trying to confuse her!” yelled Nyte. He was noticeably puzzled, himself, having heard only half of the conversation.
“It’s really none of your business, is it?” said Ardette smugly. “Best take a kinder tone with me, Nyte, if you wish to have my help.”
“Eh-” Nyte grunted, and I saw another silent struggle begin to form in his veins. Ardette would surely use this call for assistance to his advantage, but the pride within Nyte would not allow him to behave in such a docile manner. Things wouldn’t be easy for him until the memory retrieval was over.
“Come on, let’s go.” I took Nyte’s hand to pull him away from the internal paradox.
It was a big mistake.
Warm. I immediately tried to take it back, but Nyte held on.
Too warm! Pleadingly, I looked up at him.
“My, my, what’s this little quarrel I’m witnessing?” Ardette studied us with eyebrows raised. “Whatever it is, I like it.”
“It is nothing for you to be concerned with,” snapped Nyte, but his expression betrayed his own concern.
Warm! Warm!
I struggled to keep my composure, and Nyte quickly pulled me along after him, leaving Ardette standing with arms crossed and looking after us suspiciously.
The warmth started to overtake me again. I tried to focus.
Think of something else. It worked before!
But I didn’t know what to think about. The warmth was so obvious there in my palm.
“L-look there,” blurted Nyte, sensing my discomfort. “It is a . . . rock.”
I studied the seemingly-normal rock for strange occurrence but found nothing notable. “A rock? How terribly interesting.” I grinned. Clearly he’d just pointed out the first thing he’d seen. “Don’t see many of those out here in these rocky Crystallands.”
“Er, sorry.” He looked away sheepishly.
“Honestly, Nyte, a rock?”
But I was grateful that he was trying to help the situation. I laughed, and he laughed, and again, the warmth didn’t seem so unbearable.
“Thanks.” I grinned at him once our laughter had subsided.
“No, it is you I should thank. I am the one that selfishly insists on making things difficult for you. It is because I cannot resist. I wonder why it has been this way even from the beginning.”
I blushed with his eyes lingering on my face.
“Anyways, it is most likely because of a wicked spell you have cast on me or something, right, Miss Havoc?”
I rolled my eyes. “Just because you’re foolish enough to associate with me. Silly Elf, always getting wrapped up with suspicious songstresses.”
His face fell at the remark. The playful intention behind my comment had been sabotaged by the careless choice of words.
Oops.
Nyte was silent and I tried to think of something to say to recover, but then he muttered,
“Mystress.”
The breeze took it upon itself to play with Nyte’s hair more than usual when he said her name, fluttering green strands across his eyes. He swatted them away with his free hand and looked down at me.
“To be truthful, part of me wishes not to know the atrocious acts I have committed.” He winced before continuing, “I am ashamed at the cowardice within me that seeks such ignorance.”
I thought for a moment before answering. “I understand, though. I wouldn’t want to know either. There are moments in my own life that I wish I could erase.” Particularly the times I’ve caused you pain, Nyte. Forcing you to break the Silver Command, using your spirit until you could no longer think for yourself, selfishly relying on you to save me again and again . . . “But then, when I think about those moments, it’s not something I’d benefit from forgetting because I’ve learned from them. Without moments like those, I would have committed the same sins at a later date, and fate might not have been so forgiving under different circumstances. That’s why it’s important to hold onto them, no matter how hard they are to face. So even though I understand why you wouldn’t want to know, I think it’s something that’ll benefit you . . . and so,” – my eyes softened in earnest – “I’ll become your memories’ ally. I’ll accept them no matter what!”
Nyte stared at me with wide eyes.
Again my cheeks grew hot.
“Or something like that.” Another nervous laugh escaped me.
Nyte smiled. “You are right. I cannot run away from it. I cannot hope to atone if I do not even know my sins.”
“Your sins? No, no matter what you’ve done. They aren’t your sins to carry. The Mystress will be the one to pay, not you.” My voice was definite. That is something I will, without a doubt, make certain of. I promise she’ll pay.
Whenever I thought about The Mystress, an intense hatred filled me. I wasn’t usually a hateful person, but the image of her standing on that platform in her black veil and cloak, playing with Nyte, filled me with the rawest hatred. The emotion scared me, but it also felt sinfully good, so I allowed it to stay.
I doted on this hatred until a dry voice crossed the windy sands behind us. “Are you saying that no matter what the villain’s done, you won’t change your mind about him? How disappointing.”
“Him again?” muttered Nyte.
I called back over my shoulder, “Eavesdropping doesn’t suit you, Ardette.”
Nyte held my hand tighter.
Ignore the warmth.
Luckily, Ardette continued to give me the distraction I needed. “It’s not like the pair of you were behaving discreetly. Had you forgotten me? Why, my cherry pit, I knew you had it out for my heart.”
“Tsk. More of that heartbreak nonsense?”
I was still determined to make light of those types of comments even though I now knew that the heartbreak he spoke of might very well be a real thing. The ‘game’ he’d presented me so long ago at the Y’ram Stable had faded and was now replaced by a very real tug-of-war. It seemed Ardette was eternally trying to loosen the chains I’d placed around the small ‘something’ inside of my chest that flared whenever things became too intimate between us. It wasn’t fair, but I chose the e
asiest path. All I could do was deny his feelings along with my own, brush it off as cheap flattery or cruel game-play. Despite these efforts, the words he’d spoken on the way to the prophecy still echoed in my head. ‘I love you too. I’ve loved you for longer than you’ll ever know.’
Longer? What a strange way to put it.
For once, Ardette seemingly had no idea what I was thinking about. Either that, or he chose to ignore it, but the latter was not at all likely. Surely he wouldn’t be able to resist, had he known he was at the forefront of my mind. He and Nyte were instead bantering about the disadvantages of each other’s races when I allowed myself back into the conversation.
“So, you think it a gift to have such gangly limbs? Just because you’re faster doesn’t give you the right to pull her along like that.”
I should’ve stayed in my own head.
“Still sore about being left behind?” I teased, trying to push the heavier thoughts from my mind.
“Not like I care.” Ardette scratched his right horn, which was barely visible through his disheveled hair. “Anyways, just what is this? Since when have you two become so grabby?”
“Shut it, Daem!” Nyte yelled at Ardette, anticipating my reaction to such a comment. But it was too late, the word had struck me, or rather, it had struck the impulse.
“Grabby?” I asked. Uh-oh. His hand. Ardette’s talking about his hand. The warmth.
You need it.
No, I don’t!
Yes, you’ve waited too long.
This time the usually-warning voice in my head dominated and sided with temptation. Before I could pull away, it happened. I started to draw it in.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
Warm, warm, warm!
No!
With my last bit of self-control, I let go of Nyte’s hand, and he did the same, but something was wrong. Our hands remained against each other as though some unknown force were pulling them together. Warmth poured into me, glorious warmth to quench that need, but I didn’t want it. It was wrong to use it for nothing.
This is so bad. I can’t even stop it this time! Almost immediately, I slumped to my knees.
Stop it, Aura! STOP IT!
“What’s going on? What did you do to her?!” Ardette’s voice was harsh and condescending. He stepped between us and wildly started trying to pull our hands apart.
“You think that I would intentionally cause her pain?!” yelled Nyte.
“Well, they say history repeats itself, puppet!”
“Shut up! You are not helping things!” This time Nyte’s voice wavered.
Oh, no! Is he growing weak already?! I can’t stop! What’s going on?! It’s never been like this before!
I wanted to again tell him I was sorry, but I couldn’t focus on the words. Nyte’s knees buckled, and he too slumped to the ground.
“See how useless your boy is, my cherry pit? Completely unreliable if you ask me.”
I ignored him and stared ahead.
Just let me pass out. If I pass out, it’ll stop.
But then Ardette was in front of me, his face concerned. “Aura, can you hear me? I might need to borrow some of your spirit after this.”
Spirit . . . after . . . what?
And then there was a tingle at my wrist. I wasn’t watching, but I could feel it, and I knew what that sensation was. I’d felt it once before. Ardette had turned his hand to shadow, and he was inside of my arm, trying to control me. I opened my eyes and looked at his face. His eyes were closed, and he was concentrating extremely hard on focusing his shadow into my hand.
No! You can’t! The warmth kicked his hand out.
“Come on, let me in.” He grunted and tried again.
I’m sorry, Ardette, I’m not trying to keep you out! It’s this addiction; it’s like it’s growing a mind of its own!
“Is that what you’re calling it?” he asked, his eyes still closed. “An ‘addiction’?”
You heard that?! How?!
But the addiction’s voice overpowered me. I said you can’t! Get out!
Stop it! Let him in; he’s just trying to help! This isn’t what I want! Please!
You don’t know what’s good for you. You need this warmth! Take it!
Ardette . . . Nyte . . . I’m sorry.
“Yah!” Ardette yelled as his shadow finally gained control of my hand. I felt him spread out my fingers and thrust my hand away from Nyte.
It easily became unhooked. The warmth was gone.
I collapsed in Ardette’s arms, but not before catching a glimpse of the murky brown in Nyte’s eyes.
No! Not again! I thought, disgusted with myself.
From behind me, Ardette mumbled something, but I couldn’t make it out.
“Ardette . . . thank . . . you.” My voice was a whimper, but I could already feel myself returning, free from the satisfying warmth.
Ardette was still supporting me, but he appeared to be in far worse shape than I was. Nyte’s eyes were now closed. He was sitting upright and still, his ears drooped.
I had to help them.
I dragged my hand wearily across Ardette’s head, searching for one of his horns. I found its sharp point.
“T . . . take,” I said. At once, my hand was ice cold. He opened his cherry eyes and they were darker than I’d ever seen them, nearly black. “Sorry,” I muttered. I’m such a burden. This time it’s both of them I’ve caused pain. Both of the men that I care for the most.
As I thought the words, my hand became so cold that it felt dead. Ardette’s eyes quickly brightened to their almost-usual color, and he smiled at me with a smile that was almost . . . hungry.
W- what? What’s that look for? He can’t really know what I’m thinking, right?!
His smile didn’t falter, but I could see the strain it caused him to hold it so brightly. “I just need . . . a little more. Is . . . that . . . okay?” he asked between pants.
I nodded before worriedly glancing over at Nyte. He was still sitting straight up, eyes closed. At least he didn’t appear to be in pain or anything, but I wanted to run to him. But I had to help Ardette too . . .
Ardette took one more dose of spirit and then sighed. “Alright. You can go to him now.” This time his voice was much stronger.
“Ardette?”
“Just go. I’m fine now.” That grin was still on his face. The men that I care for the most. There was no way he’d actually heard, right?
I’d worry about it later. I rolled out of his lap and crawled over to Nyte. I still felt a little off; there were remnants of warmth in me that wouldn’t allow my body to fully obey my commands, so I was slightly more uncoordinated than usual.
“Nyte,” I whispered. I started to reach for his shoulders but stopped myself. No . . . if I touch you, then that’ll just make it worse, won’t it? But then . . . “What can I do if I can’t even touch you? I . . . I can’t even comfort you right now! What is this?! What’s this curse?!” I slammed my hands into the sand on either side of him. I’m a monster. Why can’t I resist the warmth anymore? I used to be able to!
I stared at the still Elf and felt a tear of frustration slide down my cheek. Would I never be able to hold him again without it turning out like this? “Nyte, open your eyes, please.” My shoulders shook, and I couldn’t stop the despair from invading.
“Why, you really aren’t a very good songstress, are you? And to think so many are relying on you.” Ardette was back up and running, and he was watching my reaction to Nyte smugly.
That’s terrible! That’s not helping at all!
“My, my, cherry pit-” But he unexpectedly stopped the charade. Maybe he could sense the self-loathing state of depression I was falling into. At once, his voice turned unusually gentle. “Even if you can’t touch him, you can still reach him, right?”
“What?”
“Geesh, you’re so dense. Just do what you do.”
What I do? “Sing,” I whispered. Of course, how could I have forgotten?
I opened my mouth to start a song, but at that moment, Nyte swayed and slumped forward onto the sand.
“Nyte!” Without thinking, I placed my hand on his back. Luckily, it was only a little warm.
He groaned and stretched like he was waking up from a nap. He rolled onto his side and blinked his eyes open, and they were back to green.
I released a heavy breath.
“Miss Havoc?” he asked sleepily.
“I’ll leave you to him, then,” said Ardette. “I’ll make camp over by those trees. Try not to get too improper while I’m gone.”
“Improper?” I narrowed my eyes at him, but I was too happy at Nyte’s awakening to feel any real annoyance.
Ardette turned to leave.
“Wait!” I called.
“Hm?” He shot me a look of curiosity.
“Thanks for your help, Ardette.”
“Really, meeting up with you has been quite troubling. Where would you be had I not come along?” He took a few steps then stopped and glanced at me over his shoulder. “Still, I’m glad I’m one of the two men you care for the most.”
“Egh!” My surprise came out in an unflattering grunt.
“Spirits are not the only ones that can tag, you know.”
“Tag?!”
He laughed and I growled, but he was gone before I could press him further.
Tag? What’s he talking about? Stupid Ardette!
“That is troublesome,” said a gentle voice. Nyte was still on his side, staring after Ardette, brows furrowed.
“Nyte!” Somehow I’d nearly forgotten him. “Are you all right?! I told you it was too dangerous! I’m not touching you anymore until we figure out what’s going on!”
He started to push himself up, but his palm sank into the sandy ground. “Do not say something so cruel.” He locked eyes on me. “We will be more careful. I will be less selfish.” He reached his hand out to me and grinned. “You would not make an unfortunate Elf struggle on his own, would you?”
“Hmph. If I leave you there, you’ll be covered by the windy sands, and I’ll never be able to cause you harm again.” But I couldn’t resist. I reached out my hand to help him up.
His grin widened. In one fluid motion he sprang to his feet and swept me into his arms.
