by Sue MacKay
Stephanie pushed her near empty plate across the counter to the sink. ‘In Queenstown I did a couple of stints on a rescue helicopter when they were short-staffed.’ She sipped her wine. ‘I got a taste for the adventure—the thrill and the scary stuff. And then, while I was in London, an opportunity came up to do three months on the ambulances and I figured I might as well give it a go.’
When the silence spread out too long he coaxed her. ‘There’s more to it, Steph.’
Her eyes widened. ‘Caught!’ Her forefinger drew circles on the countertop. ‘When I decided to return home I didn’t want to slip back into the same groove I was in before I left. I didn’t want to find that after a few months the two years I’d been away were smothered and that despite my experiences away from Auckland nothing had changed. I hadn’t changed.’
That made sense. But what was behind it all? Infertility and a broken marriage would do it. And it had him on the back foot, afraid of hurting her again. Everyone he was close to he hurt eventually. Stephanie had had enough to contend with. It was time for her to have fun and laughter and love—things he couldn’t trust himself to deliver.
During those two intense weeks they’d had together he’d have sworn she was well on the road to recovery. And yet that dreadful sadness knocking her off her toes yesterday showed she still ached over the past.
‘So you’re home for good?’ He didn’t know why, but he needed to know.
She nodded emphatically. ‘Definitely. I loved travelling, and working in different places, but I’m a home body. This is where I know myself.’
His eyes drank in the sight of that body as she sat on a high stool opposite him, her elbows on the counter, her hands holding her glass. Curves, hand-sized breasts, that pert bottom... His groin tightened as her tongue licked her lips. It hadn’t been getting much exercise for a long time.
Honey teased his senses again. Was it her shampoo? What else could it be?
Honey was one of his favourite things—liquid gold on hot toast and melted butter. His mother’s treat when he was little.
His upper body leaned in so Stephanie was close enough for him to feel her heat. Honey. His mouth watered. Then dried as her tongue repeated that licking thing. Did she know she was doing that? How the hell was he supposed to turn away when his groin was thick with need?
His hand was on her upper arm, tugging her gently closer, so her body was lined up against his. His other hand raised her chin so he could dive into those enormous toffee-coloured eyes.
‘Stephanie...’ he whispered, and stood up, bringing her with him.
Her body tightened and she waited, holding her breath. Then, ‘Michael...’
And she sank into him, her sweet mouth accepting his, opening for his exploring tongue. Giving him a kiss like those she’d given him two years ago. Hot, demanding, giving. All Steph.
‘Stephanie.’
The air closed in around them, held them in a bubble. The world had reduced to just them. How long they stood there, their bodies locked together, their kiss endless, he did not know. He could have stayed for ever—until kisses weren’t enough.
His hand found hers, grasped it to pull her along to his bedroom. ‘Come with me.’
He was all but begging. Would beg if he had to.
Her fingers laced through his. ‘Michael...’
She stopped. Then doubt entered her eyes, slapped him upside his head.
‘I’ve got to go.’
Really? When your body is as awakened as mine? When we want each other?
‘Okay.’
That was all he said as he unclasped his hand with difficulty, not about to force himself on her. She either wanted to go to bed with him or she didn’t, and he wasn’t hanging around for her to change her mind.
‘Okay.’
Sometime tomorrow, or next month, he might be glad she’d pulled the plug, but right at this moment he could almost be angry about it. Almost. Because she was probably the sane one around here at the moment.
CHAPTER FOUR
STEPH WOUND THE music up full blast in an attempt to drown out her brain and its ranting.
Stupid...crazy. Why kiss the man? Didn’t she know how that would make her feel? How she’d keep wanting more?
She had the left side of her brain to thank for her not going to bed with him. If she’d listened to the right side instead she’d now be having an amazing time in bed with the sexiest man on the planet.
The left front wheel bumped on the kerb as she pulled into her drive. Braking hard, she snapped the ignition off. Why had she gone to Michael’s in the first place? All very well thinking she had to get over him, but she’d only succeeded in making things worse.
She still wanted him. After years of having nothing to do with him her hormones craved his body, his smile, those kisses. She wanted him and cared about him more than ever.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Yeah, right—and it also mucked up a girl’s thinking.
Folding her arms on the steering wheel, she banged her useless head down on her forearms. Now what? Michael would have recognised her reaction for what it was—need. For him. Hopefully he hadn’t seen her real feelings...
He started it.
Truly? The fact that she’d plastered herself to his body and willingly kissed him didn’t make it seem as if she’d been fighting him off.
Where should she move to next? Wellington? Australia? Her heart sagged.
No, please no more moving around looking for the impossible.
The impossible was right here on her doorstep in the form of one sexy, beautiful, wonderful man. Returning home had always been full of difficulties, and this was just one of them.
Just? When her heart was still thumping and her core ached for him?
She should have taken what was on offer. If she couldn’t assign Michael to the ‘has been loved’ bucket maybe she should make the most of any opportunity to have fun with the man.
Her phone interrupted that stupid thought.
Michael. He clearly hadn’t ditched her number when he’d ditched her.
Don’t answer.
‘Hello?’
‘You get home all right?’
‘Yes.’
‘Good. See you tomorrow.’
He wouldn’t. She had two days off. ‘Bye.’
Auckland sure was testing her. Making sure she really intended putting her feet on the ground permanently and not running away again. Well, she was going to pass these tests with flying colours, even if her heart got dented along the way. She had to. The alternative wasn’t worth considering. She was done with being lonely. And if she got hurt on the path to finding happiness she’d deal with it. Here.
* * *
Eight-oh-five. A veritable sleep-in. Stumbling into the kitchen, Stephanie turned up the heat pump before filling the kettle. It took a cup of tea to wake up properly. Pouring muesli into a bowl, she found her thoughts straight away turning to Michael and how to act next time she saw him. Thankfully she wasn’t on days again until Friday. He’d have forgotten he’d kissed her by then.
But if that kiss had affected him half as much as it had her it would hang between them like a tolling bell. Bang, bang, bang. Great kiss. Bad reaction. Could they do it again?
She only had herself to blame for her uptight state. She could have walked away before they got started. She hadn’t. End of story. Get over it. People kissed all the time. Didn’t mean the world had come to an end. Not even hers.
A low whine came from outside. A dog?
Pushing the curtains wide, she blinked at the sight of the black and tan dog shivering up against the sliding glass doors.
‘Who are you, lovely?’ Opening the slider, she gasped at the cold, wet air enveloping her. ‘It’s freezing out here.’
Rubbing her hand over
soft, damp fur got her a gentle head-nudge before the most adorable pleading eyes focused on her.
‘You’re beautiful, aren’t you?’
Thump, thump. Its tail whacked the wooden deck.
She glanced under its belly. ‘Well, boy, I don’t know what you’re doing here, but this isn’t your house.’ There were tags on his collar. Council registration and a name. ‘Zac.’
Thump, thump.
A wind gust drove rain under the overhang, straight at her. And Zac. Straightening up, she stepped backwards through the door and the dog followed.
‘Hey, I don’t think you should come in. You don’t belong here.’
But pushing him outside wasn’t really an option when he was still shivering and now she’d seen how his ribs pushed at his skin and the concave shape of his belly.
‘I don’t have any dog food...’
There was plenty of meat in the freezer, put there by her dad for when the family dropped by for a barbecue—which hadn’t happened yet, because someone always seemed to be out of town at the moment. When they finally all caught up at the same time for one of those family dos she might start feeling more at home in her house. At the moment it was empty and cold, as though the rooms were waiting for people, laughter, lots of talking. Things her family would provide in shovelfuls.
Setting the microwave on defrost, Steph placed a pack of steak inside and then dried Zac off with an old towel. Next she filled a bowl her mother had given her for a birthday with water, and sighed happily as the dog lapped the liquid up. Her visitor was cute and he gave her the warm fuzzies.
While Zac gulped the meat down she poured another mug of tea. ‘I’m going out soon. The dentist’s beckoning.’ Shudder. ‘You’ll have to go home then.’
The dog dropped to the floor, laid his head on his paws and stared up at her with that pleading look back in his eyes.
‘You can’t stay here. Someone must be missing you.’
He was heart-meltingly beautiful. And her heart was responding to that plea. Too much. Someone out there must be frantic, wondering where he was.
Four hours later, when she returned from retail therapy, trying to dissipate the discomfort produced by a heavy-handed dental technician cleaning her teeth, Zac was still there, leaning against the door she’d found him at earlier. He bounded up, his tail wagging as he nudged her butt with his head.
‘You’re a naughty boy. You were meant to go home. I’m not getting any more meat out of the freezer.’
She sighed. Or maybe she was.
‘I’ll ring the council dog pound and find out if anyone’s been asking for you.’
What if they hadn’t? Could she keep him? Melt, melt, went her heart. It wouldn’t be fair. She worked twelve-hour shifts four days in a row. What would she do with him on those days? It didn’t matter. Zac might look a little malnourished, but his coat gleamed now she’d dried it and he hadn’t cowered from her once. He was well looked after. Someone out there was missing him.
‘Zac belongs to a Mrs Anderson. She hasn’t been in touch to report him missing so she might be away. We’ll be investigating. She should’ve made arrangements for the dog if that’s the case.’
The woman at the pound ranted on for interminable minutes when Steph rang the council. She also gave her over Mrs Anderson’s address.
Should the woman be telling her those details?
‘Will you phone and tell her I can drop Zac off?’ Steph asked. She was more than happy to deliver her new friend home, since he came from a street only a couple of blocks away.
‘The ranger will be round pick up the dog later this afternoon.’ Click.
Fine. Thanks. Why give her the address, then? ‘Someone’s going to take you home.’ She rubbed the silky head resting on her thigh. ‘Isn’t that great?’
There went any idea of keeping him.
There were a few text messages on her phone she hadn’t heard coming in. One from Michael.
Kelli’s dropping in to the department around two if you want to catch up.
Kelli and her fake engagement to Mac, which became real. A true love-match—even if it had taken some teasing to bring it out into the open.
The last time she’d seen those two had been at her farewell drinks in the bar over the road from Auckland Central Hospital, before she’d moved to Queenstown. All loved-up and happy beyond description.
Will do.
Having texted him back, she knew there was no avoiding Michael now. His message hadn’t given her any clues as to what he was thinking about her, though if he’d wanted to avoid her he wouldn’t have sent it in the first place. He could have denied still having her number. Why did he still have it?
Woof.
‘You, my boy, are going outside again.’
She wouldn’t be here when the ranger arrived to pick him up, but there was nothing she could do about that. Probably for the best anyway. It would take very little to tempt her into keeping him.
* * *
‘Steph, look at you! You haven’t changed a bit.’
Kelli’s arms wrapped around her the moment they saw each other. Hugging her back, Steph laughed. ‘Still exaggerating everything.’
‘I wouldn’t.’ Kelli pulled back and glanced around before saying, ‘Michael’s as good-looking as ever—and still single, I hear.’
‘Apparently so.’ How did she stop heat pouring into her cheeks? ‘What’ve you and Mac been up to since I last saw you?’
‘You and I need to catch up for lunch one day when you’re not working.’ Kelli grinned. ‘As for us—making babies.’
‘You’re pregnant again?’
For once the usual hollowed-out sensation didn’t hit her with its full debilitating hardness, but her stomach still dropped to her knees and her heart landed in her throat. Babies—babies everywhere. Just not for her. It still sucked, big-time, but she wouldn’t let that show—couldn’t dull Kelli’s happiness because of these selfish feelings.
Throwing her arms back around Kelli, the nurse she’d worked alongside when she was going through her own version of hell, she said, ‘That’s the best news I’ve heard in a long time.’
It truly is, so get out of my throat and back behind my ribs, dear heart.
‘I have to say your life’s been dull if that’s what it takes to cheer you up.’
‘I don’t need cheering up.’ Did she? No, not at all.
‘Hi, there, Stephanie—glad you got my text.’
The man with the deep and husky voice stood behind her.
Turning slowly, to give herself time to fix her features into neutral, she faced Michael. ‘Thanks for the text. I’d have hated to miss Kelli.’
‘No problem. Why aren’t you working? Something wrong?’
She cleared that concern out of his eyes with, ‘I’m on days off. I did four day shifts this round, but next I’m up for days and nights.’ She wasn’t ill, or sulking because of last night, if that was what he was thinking.
‘Six-day weeks? You don’t mind?’
She shrugged. ‘Comes with the territory.’
Later on, if she got involved with someone or took up playing netball again, she might be irked at having to work weekends, but at the moment it made no difference.
There was a gentle poke at the back of her waist. ‘Don’t go without giving me your phone number,’ murmured Kelli, before crossing to talk to someone else she knew.
Don’t leave me alone with Michael. I’m not sure what to say to him.
But Steph couldn’t help glancing at him, and instantly looked away from the dynamic gaze that seemed stuck on her. ‘What?’
‘Nothing.’
‘Good.’
‘Chantelle arrived minutes after you left.’
So if she’d gone down the hall last night, instead of walking out through the front door
, who knew what his sister would have discovered?
‘You must be glad I’d left.’
Her heart dropped. It was beginning to make sense. His life was devoted to work and to his extended family, with no room for anyone else other than grabbed moments over a meal or in bed. No room for her other than he needed to scratch an itch.
Was she his itch?
‘She wasn’t meant to be picking Aaron up until the morning. But, considering I’m never one hundred percent certain she’ll do what she says, I should’ve been more circumspect.’
Deflate me, why not?
‘Seems late for Aaron to be going home.’
She shouldn’t have said that. It sounded judgemental. It was judgemental.
‘Sorry—none of my business.’
His sister must drive him bonkers at times. Though he was far more patient than she’d ever be.
‘Now you know how it is in my house.’
Don’t you mean in your life? But, yeah, buster, the picture’s getting clearer by the minute.
If he thought he had to warn her to stay away he had nothing to worry about. After last night she had no intention of ever dropping by again. A girl could only be so stupid before she wised up.
‘I’d better go after Kelli.’
‘See you around.’
Her heart sank. Back to square one. He could kiss her senseless and wave her off without a hint of reluctance in that sexy voice. More fool her for letting it get to her.
Sit up, heart, and start clapping as if you’re grateful he’s like this. We don’t want him back in our life.
Kelli nudged her gently. ‘Smile like you’re happy. At the moment he’s going to think you’re upset with him.’
I am.
Stretching her lips she asked, ‘Better?’
‘Looks like you’ve got a mouthful of vinegar. Now, what’s your number?’
* * *
While pretending to read a patient’s notes Michael watched Steph talking with Kelli as though she didn’t give a toss that he was here—ten metres away. As if kissing him senseless had been just ho-hum.
