by Dinah McLeod
"Well, I think they're wonderful!" I enthused.
"They are," he replied, but I could tell that his mind was elsewhere.
Suddenly, I remembered. "Kevin? Didn't you have something you wanted to tell me?"
His head jerked up and as he looked at me for a moment I thought he looked a bit panicked. Then, as I watched, his features relaxed. "Oh, yeah. But you know what, I forgot due to all the excitement. I'm sure it'll come to me. I've got a bit of a headache, babe. Would you mind if I lie down for a bit?"
Wordlessly, I shook my head. There was definitely something going on with him. I didn't know what it was, but there was no denying that it was there. I watched as he turned to walk to his bedroom, his fingers still raking through his hair as he went.
***
"So then Kevin grabs my hand and says, 'Don't be mad, Mommy. Your flowers look prettier this way.'" By the time she ended the story, we were all laughing.
"Did it work?" I asked, grinning from ear to ear as I stole a glance at my fiancé.
"Here he was, covered in dirt and holding my prize-winning roses…" She shook her finger at him as she remembered. "But with the sweetest smile on his face. Of course it worked."
Though it was clearly a story they'd heard many times, everyone at the table laughed—everyone, that is, except Kevin, who had been uncharacteristically silent all through dinner. When his mother had inquired about it, he'd assured us that it was just a headache. I felt bad for him and had planned on excusing us after we'd finished eating, but I was having too much fun to want to leave.
"I've got to use the powder room," Amber announced as she stood up. "Wanna come with, Cara?"
"Oh, um," I dabbed at my mouth with a napkin. "Sure."
As soon as we'd walked away from the table, Amber linked arms with me and pointed us toward the bathroom. Once we were inside, she dumped the contents of her purse—which looked more like the make-up department at Macy's to me—on the counter and began to eye her reflection critically.
"I'm just loving getting to know you!" she gushed as began to reapply mascara.
"Me too!"
"My brother's a very lucky man." She winked at me in the mirror.
"That's so sweet of you to say."
"No, I mean it." Amber reached across the counter and took my hand, giving it a quick squeeze. "Believe me when I tell you that Kevin has gone for some dogs in his time."
"No!" I protested with a shocked laugh. "But he's so cute! Sorry!" I added, when I saw her wrinkle her nose.
"Take my word for it. I've seen everything, from shaggy all the way to one-hundred-percent mutt."
"Amber," I scolded with a giggle. "You're terrible."
"I'm just telling it like it is. There's only been one purebred in the bunch."
"That's very kind," I said, unable to help the glow of pride that flushed my face.
"You know, Kevin and I are almost six years apart in age, but when I was young he told me once that he thought Mom and Dad's love story was really romantic."
"Really?" I asked, eager for any insights about the boy he'd once been.
"Oh, yeah. It really is touching, actually."
"Do tell."
"Well, they met when they were both volunteering for an animal shelter over the summer, when they were eighteen. Anyway, Dad was enlisted in the Army and was supposed to ship out the following month. They hadn't known each other long—three weeks, maybe—but when he asked her to marry him they went straight to the courthouse! They've been together for twenty-seven years! Can you believe it?"
"Wow," I breathed, feeling myself tear up.
"Yeah," she agreed, her voice soft and reverent. "Dad always says that once you know, why wait?"
I nodded my head vigorously in agreement.
"You know, I just had a thought. Maybe that's what you and Kevin should do!"
"Oh, wow." My mind began to reel at the thought. "Amber, I don't know…"
"Why not?" she demanded, brandishing her mascara wand. "You love him, don't you?"
"Of course, more than anything, but—"
"Then it's perfect!" she enthused. "Don't you see? The 'rents are down here now, and you're in love! What better way to show it than to get married?"
"Well, we did say we wanted to get married soon," I mused.
"You see? He'll be thrilled that you can't wait to be his wife!"
"Well…" I stole a sidelong glance at his sister, my heart beating quickly as my excitement grew. I really didn't want to wait another moment longer than necessary to become his wife—and what was stopping us, anyhow? Sure, we were young and yes, we hadn't really known each other for very long, but then look at his parents! Dating for a third of what we had been, and they'd been married for nearly three decades!
"Come on, Cara," Amber wheedled, grabbing my hand and squeezing it as she jumped up and down. "Just say you'll think about it."
"I don't have anything to wear," I said, smiling weakly.
"Oh, is that all?" She threw her white-blonde head back and laughed. "I was made to shop, dahling," she assured me, affecting a dramatic accent.
"Okay," I decided, with a long exhale that was partly overjoyed and partly terrified. "Let's go talk to him."
***
I'd planned on revealing the news as soon as we got back to the table. I knew by the secretive, knowing glances Amber kept shooting me that she was waiting, too. Though my excitement at the prospect of getting married was growing, it just didn't feel right to blurt it out with his family sitting there. Besides which, Kevin hadn't seemed like himself all night. He'd responded to conversation with vague replies and nods, but I could tell his heart just wasn't in it. So, as much as I wanted to shout it from the rooftops, I decided to sit on my thoughts until we were alone—not that it was easy.
I sat on my giddiness until I didn't think I was going to be able to take it for another second. Thankfully, his dad chose that moment to say that they should be heading back to the hotel. I stood up as his parents did, hugging each of them in turn. When I got to Amber, she squeezed me, whispering, "Let me know how it goes! Text me, promise?"
I nodded, smiling at the giddiness in her blue eyes. I was sure it was mirrored in my own.
Kevin shook hands with his father and gave his mother a peck goodbye, but still he didn't seem like himself. "Ready?" he asked when they'd gone.
I just gave him a nod, certain that if I opened my mouth I wouldn't be able to stop myself from telling him everything then and there. Even so, we'd hardly made it into the car—he was still fastening his seat belt, in fact—when I turned to him and blurted, "I want to get married!"
"You don't say?" He gave me a half-smile as he put the key in the ignition. "I thought that was the very reason you showed up wearing my ring on your pretty little finger tonight."
"Kevin, I'm serious!"
Finally, he turned to me, his head cocked to the side. "So am I."
"I mean, I know we're going to get married, but you know, I was thinking of sooner."
"Sooner than what?" he said.
"I was thinking now."
"Now?" he echoed, starting the car and backing out of the parking lot.
"Yes, now!" I exclaimed, feeling the beginnings of frustration that he wasn't giving this conversation anywhere near the attention it deserved.
"You mean, right this minute?"
"No, of course not, silly," I chided. "But soon. I mean, we've been saying soon, but we really haven't set a date yet."
"I didn't realize that we were in a rush."
For some reason I couldn't quite explain, his calm, nonchalant tone wasn't sitting well with me. Shouldn't he be over the moon? "Don't you want to set a date? I mean, you do want to marry me, don't you?"
"Of course." He gave me a sidelong glance. "If I didn't want to marry you, I wouldn't have proposed."
His words certainly fell short of the declaration of love I'd been hoping for. I'd been floating on a cloud of happy anticipation, thinking he'd be just as ov
erjoyed at the idea as I was, but his demeanor was showing me loud and clear that I'd been mistaken. The only question was, why? What had changed? I felt more than a little stung, but unwilling to burst out crying or have an argument, I decided to stay silent as he drove me home. It wasn't until we were rounding the bend, heading toward my neighborhood that he spoke up again.
"You're not saying much. Is everything all right?"
"You tell me—is everything all right?" I hadn't meant to come across sounding so testy, but once the words were out there was no taking them back.
"I don't know what you mean."
"Oh, come on, Kevin!" My tone certainly wasn't improving any, but in for a penny, in for a pound, right?
"What?" he said, pulling up outside my apartment.
God help me, he really did look confused. "Look." I cleared my throat, trying to figure out how I could get my feelings across without getting myself into trouble in the process. "It kind of sucks to hear that you want your ring on my finger, but don't actually want to marry me."
His expression quickly went from confused to stunned. "I said that? I'm sorry, when did I say that?"
"You might as well have." It took all my self-control not to throw my hands up in the air.
"Why? Because I said there was no rush to set a date?" he asked.
I just stopped myself from saying, "Well, duh," though I was pretty sure the look I gave him communicated the sentiment just fine.
"Well, is there?" he went on. "A rush, I mean?"
"No. Just, you know." I shrugged, annoyed that my big, romantic moment hadn't turned out to be anything like I'd thought it would be. "You ask a girl to marry you, it's kind of expected that you actually, you know, get her to the altar."
His brow furrowed as he looked at me, as though I'd just sprouted an extra nose or something. "I intend to, Cara. You know that. What's going on here?"
"I could ask you the same question," I muttered, turning away even as I wondered why I was being so petulant. It's true that I tend to get my feelings hurt pretty easily, but even I wasn't sure exactly why this was rubbing me the wrong way.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I don't know." I sighed, because I really didn't. All I knew for sure was that I had knots in my stomach and my throat was tight—and it wasn't a feeling I liked very much. "You do want to marry me, don't you?"
"Cara… come here, baby." I didn't move, but Kevin reached over and unbuckled my seat belt before pulling me to him. Though I didn't help him any, I didn't protest when he wrapped his arms around me. "What's brought this on?"
"I wish I knew," I admitted in a pitiful, little girl voice. "I guess… I guess I'm just jealous."
"Jealous? Of what?"
"I don't know. Just, you have this amazing family and… I don't know, for a minute there I was so excited that I get to share them with you, and then…"
"And then you thought I was saying that I didn't want to be with you," he finished.
"Yeah. I guess."
"Oh, Cara. Honey, I love you, you know that, right?"
"Sure." I sniffled.
"Baby, you're breaking my heart. Why the sudden rush to get married? We've never even talked about a date before."
"Well, maybe we should. Talk about it, I mean."
"Okay. When were you thinking?"
"How about tomorrow?" I looked up at him and batted my eyelashes.
"Is that really what you want? I mean, honestly?"
"Why not?" I shrugged.
"I don't know, I thought all women wanted a big church wedding, or something."
"Well then, I guess I'm not every woman," I retorted with a giggle.
"I already knew that." He began stroking my hair and I leaned into him, practically purring. "I guess I never realized just how much. What about the big white dress? The flowers and all that?"
"You just leave that to me," I said.
"Are you sure, Cara?"
"I've never been more sure of anything in my life."
"Listen." When he sighed, I felt the knots in my stomach tighten. Here we were, he was finally going to tell me what had been on his mind all night.
But, to my surprise, when it came right down to it I found I really didn't want to know. I had a sinking feeling that whatever he was going to say would change everything, and I just couldn't stand for that to happen. "It doesn't matter," I told him, softly.
His brow furrowed deeper as he peered into my eyes. "It doesn't?"
"No. None of it matters. The only important thing is you and me, and what we feel for each other."
"Cara, how did you—"
"Amber and I have been talking, and I just realized that I don't want to wait. You know? If we're going to start our lives together, I don't want to wait another second."
"Amber." His eyes darkened when he said her name. "And she told you—"
"We talked about love, and how if you really love someone, nothing else matters."
"And you're sure that this is what you want? A life with me?"
"I told you, Kevin. I've never been more sure of anything in my life."
When his face relaxed, I felt myself relax with him. "I can't tell you how much that means to me, to hear you say that," he said.
"Well, I mean it. You're the most important person in my life."
He leaned forward and kissed me, the embrace as possessive as it was sweet. "Tomorrow, huh?" he asked, brushing my hair away from my cheek.
"Or the day after."
"Well, how can I turn down my beautiful bride-to-be?"
"Kevin!" I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him, squealing in excitement. "You mean it?"
"If you want there to be cake, we'd both better take tomorrow off."
"Well," I was laughing and crying all at once. "What's a wedding without cake?"
Chapter Five
There was no denying that it wasn't the wedding I'd always dreamed of. For one thing, instead of the stained glass windows and organ playing softly in the background, we actually went to the courthouse, in a room with an ugly, foul-smelling blue carpet and filled with gray folding chairs. Instead of the lace and tulle wedding gown, I was actually wearing a prom dress we'd found on the clearance rack at JC Penny. It didn't have tulle, or lace, or skirts that fell to the floor, but at least it was white. Even if it was backless and fell above the knee.
"You look beautiful, dear," Kevin's mom beamed at me as she pulled me aside. "Just…" She looked around the room, and even though she was clearly trying to hide her distaste, I saw the way she wrinkled her nose. "Are you certain that this is what you want? Given even a few months I'm sure we could throw together something a little more… suitable."
"I'm sure," I told her, touched that she seemed to care so much. "I just want to follow the wonderful example you and your husband have set for us."
"Oh. Well, that's very sweet of you, dear, but—"
"Cara!" Amber squealed, grabbing my arm. "Look at you! Beautiful, just like every bride should be."
"Thanks." I smiled at her and bit my lip when she winked conspiratorially.
When I heard Kevin's mom gasp behind me, I knew that my groom must have walked in. When I glanced at her, I could see that she was tearing up. It didn't take me long to figure out why. Kevin was striding toward me, cutting a strikingly handsome figure in his dark gray suit.
"Oh," I murmured under my breath, unaware I'd even spoken aloud until he smiled at me.
"You don't look too bad yourself." He winked. "I got you something."
"For me?" I asked, surprised.
"Of course. You only get one wedding day, and every bride should have flowers." He pulled his hand from behind his back to reveal a delicate wrist corsage made of tiny white and pink rosebuds and baby's breath.
"Kevin, it's beautiful."
"It had to be, for you to wear it."
I looked up at him with tears in my eyes as he slid the corsage around my wrist. If I'd ever been happier, I couldn't remember when.<
br />
"Are you ready?" he asked me.
Speechless with joy, I gave him a nod, my smile radiant. We walked hand in hand to the front of the room, where the justice of the peace was waiting. The ceremony only took about ten minutes, and it didn't matter that there wasn't music in the background or a petal-strewn aisle to walk down, or even that the Justice kept calling me 'Lara'. The only thing that mattered was Kevin, and the look in his eyes as he gazed at me, and how strong and confident his voice was when he promised to take me as his wife, for richer or poorer, for better or worse, until death do us part.
***
"Well, isn't this colorful," Kevin's mom said as she took her seat and looked around Gus's restaurant.
"The food is terrific," I promised.
"I'm sure you're right, dear." She smiled as she patted my arm, and I beamed at the gesture of affection.
The ceremony had been over practically before it had begun—or at least it had seemed like it to me. Maybe it was always that way. When Kevin's parents had insisted on taking us to dinner to celebrate, I'd suggested Gus's. I'd been ecstatic when they'd agreed, but now I was having my doubts. His mother clearly wasn't comfortable, and we were all clearly overdressed, standing out in a sea of blue jeans and plaid. It was a little puzzling—I'd thought she'd be touched that we'd chosen to follow in their footsteps; I was sure we would be bonding over our shared love stories, but if anything, his mom seemed uneasy about our quick nuptials.
Amber had been being a little distant, too, ever since we'd said our vows. Thankfully, Kevin at least seemed back to his old self, grinning from ear to ear and kissing me every chance he got. That, if nothing else, helped me to relax.
"What can I bring you to drink?" Our waiter appeared moments after we were seated.
I'd been about to order a Coke when Kevin's mom spoke up. "Champagne, if you have it. We're celebrating." She gave me a tremulous smile and I hoped it was her way of saying that she was happy.
"You don't have to do that, Mom," Kevin protested after the waiter had left to ring in our drinks.
"Nonsense. It's your wedding day. We have to do something to make it special."
