by Shaw, Rhonda
Chase pulled into the spot in front of her place and cut the engine. He was exhausted and wanted to crawl into bed, but he couldn’t do that until he saw them.
He climbed out of the car and made his way up the walk to her door. He hesitated for a moment before raising his fist and knocking. When it flew open, he found himself looking down at Bree’s bright, smiling face and he felt his heart lighten.
“Chase!”
Throwing open the screen door, she leaped into his arms and buried her face against his neck. “I’ve missed you so much!”
He squeezed her back. “I’ve missed you too, kiddo.”
Sitting back, she bounced in his arms. “When can we play catch?”
He grimaced playfully. “Oh man, you’re going to kill me, girl. I just got back!”
Bree giggled and hugged him again. It was then he spotted Maddie watching them from the kitchen. His heart sank into his stomach and the tension doubled. She looked distraught and he knew immediately that his gut was right, that something bad was about to go down. His eyes never left hers as he released Bree and placed her gently back on the ground.
“Hey,” he said quietly.
“Hi,” she said flatly.
He noticed that she didn’t move from where she was. The family room was like an ocean between them. He wasn’t sure he wanted to find out what he would encounter in the middle once he stepped away from the security of his shore.
“How are you?” he asked.
Rather than answer, she scrunched her face up, unable to fight the tears any longer, and disappeared into the kitchen.
He sighed and looked down at Bree who was anxiously watching their exchange. He tried to smile reassuringly, but he could feel himself falling short. He gently squeezed her small shoulder before forcing himself to walk into the kitchen. He found Maddie standing at the sink staring out the window overlooking the backyard, her face as blank as the sea of darkness on the other side.
Chase stopped next to her and waited. When she finally looked up at him, her eyes were red and swollen. She’d obviously been crying for a while. “Do you want to tell me what’s going on?”
Fresh tears sprang to her eyes as she squeezed them shut and clenched the edge of the sink with her fingers. Taking a deep, steadying breath, she forced herself to turn and look at him. “We need to stop seeing each other.”
He didn’t move, but his eyes narrowed. “And why is that?” he asked calmly.
She swiped at her face impatiently. “Because we just do, okay? Because I said so.”
“Because you said so? And that’s it, huh? I don’t get a say in any of this?”
“Chase, don’t make this harder than it is. Please...I’m begging you...” she broke off.
Her plea cut at him, but he wouldn’t let it stop him. He wasn’t going to lose her without a fight. “I’m sorry, but I feel like I deserve a little more explanation than ‘I said so’.”
“It’s not going to work, okay? I’ve had some time to think things over and I realized it’s for the best if we go our separate ways.”
“I hear you, Maddie, but what I want to know is why, and you don’t seem to be able to answer that.” His voice hardened as his patience quickly grew thin.
“I can’t answer it, okay?” she cried as she beat her chest with her palm. “It’s just something I feel. Something I know we have to do.”
Chase snapped, unable to tame his anger anymore. He was exhausted from the road trip and this was the last thing he needed. “This is bullshit, Maddie! Come on! You expect me to say okay and walk away because you feel like it’s the right thing to do even though you’re standing there looking pitiful.” He yanked off his ball cap and raked his fingers through his hair. “This is fucking unbelievable.”
Maddie watched him as he paced away from the counter and tugged his hat back on his head before turning around with his hands on his hips. “What happened while I was gone?” he asked trying to will patience back into this voice but failing. “You promised you would talk to me before making any decision. You promised me and I trusted you!”
“Nothing happened!”
“I don’t believe you!”
“Well, then I don’t know what to tell you.”
He stood staring at her, before shaking his head. “So, you want to end things, just like that? Like nothing ever happened?”
Maddie shook her head vigorously. “No, no,” she said as she reached out to him. “Not like nothing ever happened. I won’t ever forget what happened. Ever.”
“Well, you could have fooled me.”
“Please, Chase. This is hard for me too.”
“But at least you know why!” he exclaimed. “All I have is a ‘feeling’. ‘Hey, Chase, why did Maddie break up with you?’ ‘Oh, I don’t know, she had a feeling’,” he scoffed. “Give me a fucking break.”
“I’m sorry, Chase. I really am.”
He loomed over her, his eyes dark with anger. “Well, sorry isn’t good enough, Maddie.” Spinning on his heel, he strode out of the kitchen. “I can’t deal with this right now.”
She remained where she was, and jumped when he kicked the front door so it slammed against the wall before storming out. Standing in the middle of the kitchen, she let her crushing grief consume her. She sank down into a fetal position on the floor and cried her soul out.
* * *
Sometime later, it could have been hours or minutes, she felt Bree shake her shoulder.
“Mommy? Mommy, Aunt Lenore’s here.”
Sitting up, Maddie saw Lenore looking down at her with alarm.
“What on earth is going on, Maddie? Honey, get up off the floor.” Lenore leaned down to help her up and into the family room where Maddie collapsed onto the couch, sick with misery and her legs unable to hold her own weight.
“Bree, honey, be a sweetheart and get a glass of water for your mother.”
As Bree ran into the kitchen, Lenore brushed the hair away from Maddie’s face, her eyes warm with concern. “Tell me what happened, honey.”
Maddie hiccupped as she tried to stop her sobs, but she felt so empty and desolate that she could do nothing more but shake her head. Bree returned and handed Lenore some water. “Thank you, dear. Now why don’t you go play in your room for a bit while I talk to your mom. Everything’s going to be all right.”
Bree gave her mother a worried look before quietly retreating to her room. Maddie took the glass her sister was holding and took a tentative sip as she tried to bring herself under some semblance of control. After a few minutes, she was finally able to speak, her voice weak and strained from emotion.
“You don’t need to lecture me, I’ve already ended things.”
“Lecture you? What on earth are you talking about?”
Maddie gave her a knowing look through red, bleary eyes. “Give me a break. You knew about us, Chase and me. Don’t try to pretend otherwise.”
She gave an insulted gasp. “I knew, Maddie, but I didn’t come over to lecture you. Quite the opposite, actually. I just wanted to talk to you.”
“You mean talk at me.”
Lenore puffed herself up. “Well, it sounds like you have quite a bit of hostility built up toward me.”
“Look, Lenore, I know you and you were not going to come here just to talk to me about Chase. You were going to come here and defend Sandy, who I’m sure you feel was treated like dirt.”
“Well, can you blame me? She’s my daughter and of course, I’m going to defend her. You would do the same for Bree.”
Maddie was tired and emotionally drained, and she really didn’t want to be discussing this right now. She gave a deep sigh. “Whatever, Lenore. It doesn’t matter anymore, that’s what I’m telling you. I broke up with Chase and I’m sorry if you and Sandy still believe she’s bee
n slighted.”
Lenore sat back and tugged the creases out of her crisp tan pants. “Well, I’m sure it’s for the best anyway. The boy was practically a child, for crying out loud.”
Maddie narrowed her eyes at her sister. “Chase was the most mature person I’ve met in a long time. He’s more mature than a lot of people more than twice his age.”
Lenore rolled her eyes. “Where could it have gone? I mean, really, did you believe he would want to marry you and start a family with you? Come on, Maddie. Let’s be realistic here.”
“And why couldn’t that be reality?”
She gave a half laugh and shook her head. “Boy, he did a good one on you if he had you believing that—just like he did with Sandy.”
“What did he make Sandy believe?”
“Oh, you know. That they had a future together and that he would take care of her.” Lenore waved her hand at her. “The same lines he fed to you.”
Maddie jumped off the couch, anger surging through her, feeding fire to the cold barrenness inside her. “He didn’t say any of that to me, Lenore. Chase doesn’t feed lines and he doesn’t need to. He’s open, straightforward and honest, which is a lot more than I can say about Sandy.”
Lenore stood up slowly. “What are you accusing Sandy of? Lying?”
She counted off on each finger. “Lying, exaggerating, refusing to see reality...would you like me to continue?”
“I can’t believe you would take the word of some boy over your own niece!”
“I’m sorry, Lenore, but that’s the way it is.”
Lenore’s face was red, her usual composure shattered. “I didn’t realize you were this far out of touch with reality. It appears we’ve all done you a favor or else you would have completely turned your back on your own family, on Bree.”
“Bree? How was I turning my back on Bree?”
“You were only thinking of yourself and what you wanted with no regard to anyone else! Sandy, Bree...anyone. You’ve been very selfish.”
Maddie looked at her only sister as if she had two heads before walking over to the door and holding it open. “Just hearing a comment like that clearly indicates to me that you have no idea what you’re talking about. You don’t know me, obviously. I would never turn my back on my daughter. I consider her with everything I do. She’s mine and if Chase had a problem with that, I wouldn’t have hesitated to show him the door. But, as it was, he embraced her as his own, and in the short time he was around, spent more time with her than Kyle has in nine years.” She stopped as she thought back to the night at Lenore’s house where she first met Chase. “As a matter of fact, I seem to remember you telling me that Chase was ‘different’ and he should spend time with Bree.”
“Well, that was before I knew what kind of person he really is.”
Maddie scoffed as she shook her head in disgust. “It doesn’t matter anymore. I was forced to choose and I did.”
“It was the right choice.”
“You know, Lenore,” she said with an irritated huff. “I don’t even care what you think. As long as it doesn’t affect you, Tom or the kids, you’re happy. You don’t care about my happiness. You never have.” She gave the door a little jiggle. “It’s time for you to leave now.”
Lenore huffed as she leaned down to grab her purse. Striding over to the door, she paused right next to Maddie. “You’re wrong. I do care about your happiness, but not when it comes at the expense of others. You were hurting too many people by your poor choices and I couldn’t let that happen to Bree.” She smiled sweetly before Maddie could slam the door in her face.
Standing with the door at her back, Maddie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She couldn’t believe that Lenore would actually stand there and tell her she was looking out for Bree’s best interest. She had some nerve to play that card when it was never, ever about anyone else—only Lenore.
It didn’t matter anymore. Chase was out of the picture so Lenore had to be ecstatic about that. She’d gotten what she wanted without having to do the dirty work and so all was right in the world, according to Lenore. Now Maddie had to figure out how to put her life back together.
* * *
His head throbbed. Chase’s cap felt as if it was squeezing the blood out of his brain, and he took it off while rubbing at his temples, willing the pain to go away. His eyes watered and he felt nauseated, but he refused to give in. He had to stay busy, stay focused and then he could get past it.
He took a deep breath and tugged his cap back on his head. Standing upright, he toed the rubber and looked down the length of the bull pen at Matt, who was crouched and awaiting his throw. Reeling back, he tried to put everything he had behind the throw even though he felt as if he had weights tugging down on his arms and legs.
They were working on his sinker and he had yet to nail one. Either he threw it too wildly, watching as the ball spiked the ground in front of the plate and launched in the opposite direction to the backstop, or the ball simply sailed in a straight line into the Matt’s glove without any downward motion. He knew he’d hit bottom, though, when he threw the ball and watched as it fell flat right in front of the plate like he had gently tossed it underhanded.
“Fuck!” he yelled in frustration as he launched his glove at the bull pen wall and stormed off the pitcher’s mound.
Matt stood up and propped his catcher’s mask on top of his head. “Why don’t we take a break, Patty?”
Chase closed his eyes and concentrated on taking deep breaths as he faced the wall with his hands on his hips. He was seeing red and he wanted to throw his fist through the first thing he saw. Ever since the day he’d stormed out of Maddie’s place, he felt nothing but sick and angry. He didn’t want to see anyone and he definitely didn’t want to talk about it. Any time anyone asked him anything, that person quickly backed off as soon as he saw the flash in his eye that said he was precariously close to the edge.
He knew he had to get himself under control. It was affecting his game and his health, but whenever he let himself think about it at all, he felt empty and drained, a vacant shell of his normal self before a fresh surge of hot fury washed through him.
Something had happened when he was on the road and he wasn’t sure what made him angrier—the fact that Maddie wouldn’t tell him or that she jumped ship at the first chance she got. He fully intended to talk to her about things, but he just couldn’t get himself to face her. He was too hurt and pissed. He didn’t know what he was going to do about it, but he had to do something before his career crashed down around him before he could stop it.
When he finally felt he had some restraint, Chase took a deep breath and grabbed his glove. Putting it on, he walked over and stood on the mound with his glove held out in front of him.
“Let’s go, Bucky,” he said to Matt. “Throw me the ball.”
“Are you sure, man? We can take a break.”
“No, no break. Let’s go.”
“If you say so.” Matt tossed him the ball and went back into a crouch, pulling his mask back over his face.
Before Chase could prep himself, Coach Smith called out his name. Turning, Chase saw him standing with Coach Brooklyn at the back of the bull pen and he immediately tensed up further.
“What’s up?” he asked as he approached them.
“What’s going on?” Coach Brooklyn asked.
Chase shrugged trying to downplay it. “Just a slump. I’ll get myself out of it.”
One of Coach Brooklyn’s puffy white brows arched up. “A slump, huh? That’s quite a slump if you can’t even get the ball to the plate.”
Chase glanced at Coach Smith and cleared his throat. “I’ll fix it.”
“We’re wondering if we should pull you for the year, Chase,” Coach Smith said. “Give your arm a break.”
“No,” he said emphatic
ally. That was the last thing he wanted—more time to sit and think. “I’ll work it out.”
Coach Brooklyn sighed. “I wasn’t born yesterday, kid, but you’re right you’ll work it out. You need to learn how to keep your personal shit off the field. You’ll make your next start when we go to Cleveland, but we’re pulling you early if things go downhill quickly. Now get your head out of your ass and get back to work.”
* * *
Sitting in the locker room at the field in Cleveland before the game, Chase sat in front of his locker with his head down. The headache he’d had every day since his breakup with Maddie nagged at the back of his head and behind his eyes, but he wouldn’t allow himself to surrender to it.
He gently tossed a ball from hand to hand as he struggled to concentrate on his game plan. He would try the sinker only if he was ahead of the batter in the count, but if he didn’t have it, they would quickly pull it from the rotation. He would have to rely on his fastball and his slider and hope that he could get a lot of groundouts or fly outs because with the depth of hitters he would be facing that night, it was going to take a lot to get any strikeouts. His body throbbed, as it did usually these days, and he would have to fight to ignore the ache in his arm and his shoulder if he wanted to go the distance and get a win.
Chase tried to forget this would be the first game he would pitch since his blowup with Maddie. It shouldn’t matter, since what happened away from the field needed to stay that way. He couldn’t bring it onto the field with him tonight. When he stepped out there, it was only him and the batter. There was no room on the mound for anyone else to stand up there with him. His thoughts about Maddie would have to wait until he got back to the hotel room that night.
“You ready?”
He looked up and when he saw it was his coach, he stood up and grabbed his glove. “Yep.”
Coach Brooklyn eyed him shrewdly taking note of his pale complexion and the dark circles under his eyes. “You look like hell.”
