I don’t have anything planned.
Her fingers had typed it without her knowledge.
So, you’ll meet me?
Sure. It sounds fun.
What spirit had possessed her? While Izzy wondered what had gotten into her, Anaya suggested a sports bar, and they agreed on a time. The crush of anxiety she felt was normal, right? She could barely feel her legs when she got up to go find something to wear. Was she really going out to meet someone she’d met online? Every terrible outcome of the impetuous meeting tried to swamp her mind. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it, she chanted to herself. This wasn’t real life. It was just research.
She went through the motions of changing her clothes in a numb fog.
* * *
Izzy pulled into a space in the parking lot at the Handlebar and turned off her car. Was she really there meeting a woman she had never met in person before? She was nervous. Beyond nervous. Terrified. She fought back an urge to message Anaya to tell her something had come up, and she had to cancel. No. She said she’d be there, and she would. She would go in and tell her she could stay only an hour. That way, if she wasn’t having a good time, she had an excuse to leave. And if they hit it off, they could always arrange another meeting. Cool. She had a plan.
Izzy opened the car door and got out before she could lose her nerve. The bar was crowded. The Giants were playing, and there were quite a few patrons in the bar wearing jerseys. She looked around and saw a woman similar to Anaya’s profile picture sitting at a tall table in the center of the room and talking to a server, who was laughing. A good sign. She approached the table.
Anaya’s face lit up. She was prettier than her picture.
“You came!”
The warm greeting eased a little of Izzy’s anxiety, but all she could manage in way of a response was “Hi.” She felt conspicuous just standing there.
Anaya didn’t seem to notice. She pulled out the stool next to her. “You look just like your photo.”
Izzy sat. Why wouldn’t she look like her picture? “You say it like you’re surprised.”
Anaya pushed her long hair over her shoulder. “I sort of am. Maybe one in five people looks anything like their profile picture.”
She wondered how many people Anaya had dated from the website. “Really?”
“Really.”
“I sent you an unedited, unrehearsed selfie the first time we messaged.”
“You have no idea how many people pretend their photos are casual snapshots that just happened to come out great. They totally posed or edited them.”
“The picture I sent was definitely not posed. You got the real me, hat hair and all.”
“Well, now I know. Before, it was a crapshoot.”
Izzy suddenly felt a little dizzy. If she had even thought people not being the person they said they were was a possibility, she knew she wouldn’t be here now. She sat on her hands so Anaya couldn’t see them shaking.
Anaya flipped her hair over her shoulder again, and Izzy wondered if it was a nervous habit. She didn’t look nervous otherwise.
Izzy adjusted her stool so she was facing Anaya more directly and wondered how many times Anaya had met with people from the dating site to be so jaded about the photo thing. “Well, you look exactly like your picture.”
Anaya smiled, and she had a little dimple just like Jane. But the more Anaya talked, the less she reminded her of Jane.
“I think I told you my sister took it. We were on our birthday trip to Iceland.”
A nice, neutral topic. Izzy’s insecurity started to fade. “How was Iceland? I’ve always wanted to go.”
Anaya’s eyes gleamed with memories.
“It was fantastic. There’s so much to see. The people are nice. Oh, and they drink like there’s no tomorrow. Speaking of which, do you know what you want? It’s happy hour for another five minutes, so you should order two of whatever you choose.”
No drinks tonight. Definitely not on a first meeting with someone. “I can’t stay long. I have a thing in about an hour.”
Anaya didn’t seem bothered by the news and waved the bartender over.
“Willy! Get the lady a drink!” Anaya leaned close. The smell of whiskey on her breath wasn’t the turn-off she thought it would’ve been. “Get two anyway. I’m buying, and I’ll drink whatever you don’t. I’m celebrating the closure of the project from hell.”
Izzy ordered a soda water. Anaya looked surprised, but Izzy didn’t feel the need to explain her medical history. Not when she barely knew Anaya. One mention that she was bipolar, and people quickly distanced themselves. If things went well and they became friends, maybe she wouldn’t turn tail and run.
“Tell me more about this project you’re so glad is over,” she said.
Anaya flipped her hair once again. “I don’t want to bore you. It’s technical. Suffice it to say, it’s over, and I’m super glad.”
Izzy arched an eyebrow. “I’m a technical writer. It’s my job to understand techy things.”
A smile lit up Anaya’s expressive face. “I knew there was a reason I liked you. I’m in software.”
Common ground. That was good. “Me, too. So, try me. Tell me about your project.”
Anaya described the project, and the conversation moved on to trips they had each taken. Izzy looked at her watch. An hour had passed in what felt like minutes, and Izzy was surprised she didn’t want to leave.
Anaya looked at her with a frown softened by the three more drinks she’d had in the meantime. “I don’t want you to go.”
Izzy took a sip of her club soda. “I can stay a little longer.”
Anaya’s frown turned to a giddy smile. “Yay.” She clapped. Then suspicion clouded her expression. “Hey! You only said you had another thing to have an excuse to leave. In case I was some weirdo. Am I right?”
Izzy hesitated. “It’s true.”
Anaya laughed with a twinkle in her eyes, again reminding her of Jane. Stop that! She forced herself to focus on Anaya, who was describing herself.
“I’m actually quite boring. I work. I run. I watch sappy rom-com movies in my jammies. Infrequently, I join a friend for drinks. I don’t have a secret life as a serial killer.” She grabbed Izzy’s shirtsleeve. “Not one I admit to, anyway.” She quickly fell into peals of laughter. “As you can see, I wouldn’t be able to hide it if I did.”
Izzy laughed harder than she had in a long time, and it felt good.
“You lied about one thing. You are a weirdo.” Izzy felt a little drunk herself, even though she’d had nothing stronger than soda water.
“I am. I really am.” Anaya wiped her eyes.
“Anaya!” A tall guy appeared behind her, hugging her.
“Jake!” Anaya turned around in her seat and hugged the newcomer back. “This is my friend Izzy. Jake lets me beat him at trivia all the time. Izzy is helping me celebrate the end of the project from hell.”
Jake high-fived her. “The dreaded project is over? Sounds like we need a round of shots!”
He waved to Willy, who came over already armed with a bottle of Fireball whiskey and three shot glasses, which he poured and pushed in front of the three of them before Izzy could say she didn’t want one.
“To good friends and the end of shitty projects!” Anaya called out as she lifted her shot.
Izzy raised her shot, and she and Jake tapped their glasses to Anaya’s. Instead of drinking hers, Izzy took a sip of her soda water. Anaya downed hers and winked at her and downed the other.
* * *
Has this ever happened to you? You’re interested in someone in your circle of friends. You think they might like you in the same way, but you’re not sure. They’re attentive. They laugh at all your jokes. They call to see how your Aunt Phyllis’s hernia operation went after you mentioned how worried you were. They bring you miso soup when you don’t show up for the weekly potluck because you have the flu. It’s more attention than you received from your last three relationships combined. You star
t to think they might be romantically interested in you. But their behavior is so subtle, you start to think you might be reading into things.
One afternoon, they ask you if you want to go to a movie. It’s just you and them. They say they want to spend some one-on-one time with you! Could this be it? You’ve waited so long!
The theater is mostly empty when the movie starts. It’s a comedy. You sit shoulder to shoulder and look at each other often during the funny parts. Their hand lingers when they grab your leg at a particularly funny part. You grab hands at another funny part. You spend the rest of the movie wondering if they will take your hand again, and you can’t concentrate on the storyline, but you laugh in the right parts and continue looking at them to share in the humor.
The movie ends. You don’t want the date to end. Is it a date? You try to work up the nerve to ask if they want to get a cup of coffee, but before you ask, they say their dog has been at home alone for most of the day, and they need to get home. Is it an excuse? You wonder how to say good-bye. While you debate between a hug or a kiss, your friend goes in for the hug. You hug them back, and the hug is longer than the one when you greeted. Your cheeks even touch. They pull away but hold both of your hands and say they want to do more things with you like this, just you and them. You turn to leave, but they turn and ask about your Aunt Phyllis. You tell them Aunt Phyllis is doing great.
I can totally understand your confusion over the mixed signals. It’s so unnerving not to know if someone is interested in you the way you might be in them. It takes so much energy to try to read their actions.
The good news is, there’s an easy way to figure this out. It’s a simple method I’m surprised more people don’t use. I think this advice will be well worth the price of this guide. Ready for it?
Ask them.
Chapter Twelve
The Gigify commissary was bustling with the lunchtime rush. A group at a table nearby stood to leave, and Izzy took the table, motioning Jane and Audie to follow.
“How do you always find rock-star seating?” Jane shook her head in amazement.
“If I told you, I’d have to kill you.”
Jane laughed, and Izzy smiled at the melodic tinkle of it. It was a nice break from her obsessive thoughts about the impromptu meeting with Anaya churning through her mind all morning. Her mind had been like a little dog, chasing every detail around, and she couldn’t stop it. It happened every time new things occurred in her life, but none of the practiced coping mechanisms were helping—not meditation, not redirecting, not writing it down to deal with later. None of them. She hadn’t tried the reboot yet, but that was just for dire situations.
Audie slid into the seat next to Izzy at the round table. Jane chose a seat on her other side.
Audie shoulder-bumped her. “You look like you have something on your mind, my friend.”
She could always count on Audie to notice and be direct about it. “I do.”
Audie took a bite of her salad. “Is it the book? Or is it work? Because if it’s work, you know I am so not your girl.”
Jane patted Izzy’s arm. “I could help with the technical-writing thing.”
Izzy loved how quickly Jane offered to help. She was so nice. So was Audie, but Audie didn’t make her stomach flutter.
“It’s nothing work related.” Izzy took a bite of her pizza and covered her mouth to continue while she chewed. “It’s about dating.”
Audie smirked and pushed her sleeves up. “You definitely came to the right place. Lay it on me. What do you need to know?”
“What technically constitutes a date?”
Audie steepled her hands in front of her, a wizened benefactor of knowledge. She cleared her throat. “It’s when someone asks another person to do something together at a pre-designated time in the future.”
Izzy threw a napkin at her. “Smart-ass! I’m wondering if impulsively meeting someone at a restaurant or bar is technically a date.”
Audie picked up the napkin and tossed it back. “What do you think?”
“I don’t know.” Izzy picked at her pizza. “I should know this stuff because I’m writing about it, but I’m learning as I go.”
“Did someone ask you to meet them somewhere? Is that where this is going?”
Audie sounded surprised, and Izzy didn’t appreciate the lack of confidence. She glanced at Jane, but Jane was studying her lunch.
“You say it as if I’m not capable of it.”
Audie only smirked back. When she looked at Jane for reassurance, all Jane did was keep picking at her salad.
“Just last week you were questioning it yourself. What’s changed, dare I ask?” Audie asked.
Izzy wasn’t sure she wanted to give too many details just yet. She hadn’t worked out how she felt about it. “Well, I met up with someone from one of the dating sites.”
Jane continued to pick at her salad, but Audie slammed down her fork and twisted her fingers in her ears.
“I think I heard you wrong. I thought I heard you say you met up with someone from a dating site.”
Izzy wanted to throw her pizza crust at her. “Shut up. You heard me right.”
Audie picked up her fork. “Holy Shih-tzus! You’re quicker than I thought you’d be.”
She knew Audie would overreact. But that was how Audie was about everything, she reminded herself. She waved her hand breezily, even though she felt far from casual about the whole thing. “It was just a quick hookup. Nothing major,” Izzy said.
Audie’s eyebrows disappeared under her spiky bangs, and Jane finally looked up from her salad.
Audie pushed her lunch to the side. “Do you mean hooked up in the biblical sense?”
She realized her poor choice of words. “Hooked up for a drink, nothing more. A spur-of-the-moment thing. We met at a sports bar and hung out for about an hour and then called it a night.”
“How was it?” Jane asked. She was staring at her salad again.
Izzy watched her for a second, but Jane didn’t look up. She seemed preoccupied.
Audie didn’t seem to notice Jane’s distraction. “I need deets, my friend. This requires a full expository presentation.”
Izzy struggled to describe Anaya without comparing her to Jane. “She’s all right. Nice. Smart. It was loud in there, and it was hard to hear, but she seemed like a cool person.”
“And…” Audie waved her fork impatiently. A piece of lettuce flew off and landed unnoticed on the back of a developer sitting at the next table.
“And what? That’s it.” Izzy plucked the lettuce from Amit’s T-shirt.
Audie let go of a dramatic sigh. “And…what did you wear? What did she wear? Where did you go? What does she look like? Did you like her? Were there sparks?” Audie fired off her questions like a machine gun. “But most importantly, did you make plans to meet up again?”
“Jeans. Business suit. The Handlebar. She’s attractive. She seems nice. As you know, I’m clueless about sparks.” She paused in her answers to give Audie a meaningful stare. No way was she going to get into a discussion about why sparks weren’t in her bailiwick right then, in front of Jane. This was new territory for her. She was shaking in her boots. She had no idea how to navigate this new territory. Thankfully, Audie’s mouth was full of salad, and she didn’t press. “As far as meeting up again, we didn’t get a chance to get into it. A friend of hers showed up, and I left before they did.”
Audie flashed a knowing smile. “Ah. The old-friend defense.”
She was clueless. “What?”
“It’s when you arrange ahead of time to have a friend show up with an escape plan in case the date doesn’t go well.”
“It wasn’t a date, and the friend showing up seemed like it was unexpected.”
The knowing smile returned. “They all do. Do you want to see her again?”
Did she? She kind of did. And her anxiety wasn’t masquerading as a heart attack but more like she was about to go bungee jumping. That meant something. “I’
m not sure what I want. Part of me wants to just let it go because it’s such a hassle. But part of me wants to see how it could go. I guess I should just play it out for research, if for nothing else.”
Audie nodded knowingly but gave her a half-smile. “I support the research.”
Jane didn’t weigh in.
Izzy pushed her uneaten pizza aside. “All this stuff makes me nervous. I’ve started running more.”
Izzy snuck a glance at Jane. Audie knew all about her condition. She knew she ran more when she was trying to avoid an episode. But she hadn’t mentioned it to Jane, and she didn’t seem to pick up on it. When Izzy looked back at Audie, her eyes had softened. She got it. Izzy was grateful her best friend was always there for her when she needed it. Gratitude flooded her. She could always count on Audie when it mattered most.
“I think you look great even without all the running,” Jane said. It was the first time she’d seemed interested in the conversation. “Why do women think they need to change themselves in order to make people like them?”
Izzy didn’t know how to respond. Jane thought she was running to be more attractive for dating. That was funny.
But before she could answer, Jane stood and smiled. “I meant it rhetorically. I gotta go. I have a lot of work to do.”
They watched Jane leave the table.
Izzy started to clean up the remains of her lunch. “She was a little preoccupied. I hope we didn’t bore her with the mundane talk about my nonexistent dating life.”
Audie looked at Izzy, shook her head, and laughed. “Yeah. That’s exactly what it was.”
There was something more to it, and it seemed Audie knew what it might be, but Izzy was already overwhelmed, so she didn’t ask.
* * *
Picking the location for a first date is an important decision. A lot hangs on it. Not only does it make an early first impression, but it might end up being the much-repeated first-date story of a lifelong romance if things work out.
There’s a lot to consider when you pick a location. How was the date initiated? Is it a blind date? Do you know the person very well, or did you just meet them? Was the date requested after a period of casual conversations, or was it a spur-of-the-moment thing? Is the situation formal, or is it casual? Do you want it to be a surprise? Do you have a budget to work within? Are you feeling romantic, adventurous, or just horny?
No Experience Required Page 8
